The memory of the dark car nearly mowing us down came to my mind as he spoke. I recalled that day with perfect clarity. At the time, I’d chalked it up to bad Texan drivers. Just when I thought this freak show couldn’t get any worse, he’d pulled another rabbit out of his hat of horrors.
“But I’m so glad I didn’t. Do you know why?” He asked, running his hand up and down my back as if he was giving me a pep talk. I didn’t bother to respond. He was orating, and one never interrupted Mr. Cirone when he was on a roll. This was never meant to be a dialogue. “Because I know deep down you still love me. That day I saw you crossing the street with the stroller it wasn’t just the fear of being caught that stopped me. I saw you that day and I r
emembered
. How much I loved you back before things got twisted. Before we got married and you started treating me like the enemy. I remembered the phenomenal sex and the way you used to laugh at my jokes. Because I watched you living that with
him
. And it broke me to see you smile like that at someone else.”
He seemed pensive for a moment, and I wondered if he was finally going to shut up and kill me already.
“I’ve been so torn. Last night, I finally understood why you left me. You really believed I chose Elaine over you. A meaningless distraction like
Elaine
. An amusement like her should never have come between us. And she wouldn’t have if you hadn’t overreacted. She listened to me when you wouldn’t anymore. She seemed to understand me when you didn’t. I see now that it was all part of her plan to try and trap me. But once she had me, the fickle bitch showed her true colors.
What really pains me is that I thought you understood me better. I assumed you got it, so I failed to communicate how important you are to me. Last night, I decided that we are going to have our second chance. I still can’t trust you yet, not until you earn it. You have done far too much to hurt me since we’ve been apart and I would be foolish to open my heart back up to you.
But, if you can show me that you truly want to be with me, that we are starting off with a clean slate...if you can show me how much you really love me then everything will be fine. We’ll be fine, our son will be fine. If not...”
He trailed off, as if he didn’t want to discuss the unpleasantness of having to kill me and toss me in a ditch somewhere when I was inevitably unable to wipe the memory of his atrocities from my mind. It didn’t matter. He had my attention. I clung to his comment about “our son”, and sighed with relief.
“So tell me, Doll. Are you willing to try again?”
I looked into the face of this cowardly, broken boy I had once loved and realized what a colossal fuck up I really was. I’d done all the wrong things for all the right reasons, and I was partially to blame for the events that had unfolded. We’d both messed up from the get go, and we should have annulled things in Vegas that very same night it happened. So many people had been caught up in the tornado that was “us”, and now my son was swept up in it too.
Logan.
I had to keep him safe. No matter what it cost me. I would do whatever it took to get my baby back to his father and away from this damaged psychopath even if it killed me. But Draven had gravely underestimated me. I wasn’t the scared little girl that he had terrorized in that far away city. And I wasn’t the unsure woman who had hidden behind Joe’s door from his wrath.
No.
I was a mother now. There was nothing that I wouldn’t do to keep my baby safe. And the moment an opportunity presented itself, Draven Cirone was going to learn how mistaken he’d been to ever threaten my child.
Letting none of my inner turmoil show on my face I looked him in the eye, and my stare never wavered.
“Yes, Drae. I’ll try.”
He looked as if he was about to burst into happy tears. He tilted my head back and kissed me softly on the acceptable, unsullied side of my mouth.
MY HEART THUNDERED in my chest as I raced across the dewy grass. I pushed my legs as fast as they would go, but my dress shoes kept slipping out from under me. I’d already fallen twice, and a piercing pain in my side was getting harder and harder to ignore.
It was early morning and foggy as hell. I was dodging trees at Pecan Grove, and I could hear Molly laughing. But every time I got close to the sound, I couldn’t find her. Finally, I made it to the creek and caught sight of her. She was standing on the edge of the rocky bank. Unlike me, she wasn’t dressed in her wedding clothes. Instead, she wore the white sundress she’d been wearing on her birthday so long ago...the first night she’d let me take her home.
I knew right then I was dreaming...but I didn’t care. She looked over her shoulder at me and her sweet smile owned my heart instantly.
“Come on, baby.” She playfully called. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”
And then she dove in.
Knowing how shallow that creek was, I shouted her name and bolted to the spot she’d just been standing on. I looked over the side, sure I’d see her broken body sprawled on the rocks below. Instead, I saw her wading in the creek with Logan in her arms. Her white dress clung to her shapely body, and her ivory back was to me. She hummed one of her lullabies and stroked his dark hair. Logan caught sight of me and his chubby cheeks split in his adorable, toothless grin.
Movement caught my eye and I turned to my right. Jessica stood beside me, dressed all in yellow. Her golden hair fell around her, reminding me why I’d called her Sunshine. She regarded me with sympathetic eyes, and put a gentle hand on my shoulder.
“It’s not your fault.” She murmured.
I woke with a start and scrambled off of the couch as if it were on fire. Completely disoriented, I blinked at my living room as if I’d never seen it before. Granny Hildebrandt sat in a nearby chair. She paused in her knitting to watch me warily.
“You alright?” She drawled.
No. Not in the slightest.
I rubbed my eyes and took several deep breaths in an attempt to steady myself and oxygenate my muddled mind. It was incomprehensible that I’d fallen asleep as my world was collapsing. Not that I should have been surprised. I’d been awake for over thirty six hours, and my body had finally rebelled and shut down.
After the police first showed up, I’d wandered from room to room, waiting for some new clue to jump out at me. In truth, I needed to keep moving. I wanted nothing more than to tear off and go searching for Molly. Mac had done just that. He’d rallied his biker buddies and they all tore off across the countryside looking for Draven.
The cops had been crawling all over our place at first. After taking my statement they had confirmed that Draven had been out on parole for over six months. Their people had gone through the house with a fine tooth comb. I pointed out a crushed cigarette in the bathroom sink, and the cops had bagged it as evidence and said they would test it for DNA. Great for a hypothetical trial, but it struck me as a waste of time. We already knew who had them.
I had spent most of the time just trying to keep my temper. Cops kept asking me the same asinine questions over and over again as if I would suddenly have some revelation. They needed to act instead of wasting precious time while my wife and child were in the clutches of a madman. I knew it was standard for them to question the spouse, but it was more about covering their ass than doing their jobs. When I told the last one to get out of my face and go find my wife they finally left me alone.
Tamryn ran interference for me, relieved at intervals by mom and Robin. When Molly’s ringtone started up, everyone in the room exchanged frantic glances and I hurried to retrieve it from the table. I picked it up and saw on the screen that it was Dan calling. I felt as if the energy was sapped from me and hit ignore. It began to ring again almost immediately, and when I saw it was him redialing, I handed the phone to Robin.
“I can’t do this right now.” I stated, and she hurried out the back door as she answered his call.
My chest hurt. I wonder absently if I was having a heart attack, or if it was finally just irreparably broken. The sickening similarity of Molly and Logan’s abduction and the threat of losing Jess and Jack ate at me. I wouldn’t lose them. I couldn’t. I had to do
something
.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t a clue what the hell I could do besides trust the police. So I waited. I paced. I watched the unfolding speculation disguised as reporting on the local news.
When I started to have trouble keeping my eyes open, Tamryn appeared and asked for Eva. I’d been holding her as much as possible. I’d noticed Eva had taken to crying jags and sucking her thumb. Having never seen her do either before, I wondered if this new behavior had begun during our honeymoon. Maybe Molly had been right after all. Maybe they were too little to be away from us.
Or maybe Eva sensed something...like Mac and Mason, maybe she had some connection with Logan that was beyond my understanding. I shook my head to clear it. Thoughts like that would drive me crazy.
Tamryn surveyed my face in her usual strategic yet sympathetic manner. “JoJo...go lay down and take a nap. I’ll get Eva some solid food.”
I shook my head. “I can’t.”
I knew I’d smell Molly scent all over the pillows and I’d never sleep. If I somehow managed to drift off, I’d have nightmares. I was clinging to the last scraps of my sanity and sleeping would be counterproductive. There was no way I could rest in our bed without her.
Tamryn seemed to read my thoughts which was no surprise. She’d ridden shotgun the last time we’d been down this road. “Just go lie on the couch for a few minutes. I’ve got Eva.”
She put her hand on my shoulder, her eyes begging me not to argue. I hated seeing her so stressed. Deja vu permeated the kitchen and I didn’t think I could stand another well-meaning cliché from anyone, so I nodded. In my delirium, I bumped into the doorframe on my way out to the couch. I reclined back, telling myself I was just going to rest my aching eyes.
Now I’d awoken having dreamed about them anyway. It was dark outside. I had no idea what day it was, or if it was morning or evening. I bolted past Granny into Eva’s room and gaped at the sight of Stacy rocking her in the glider.