Heart's Ransom (Heart and Soul) (36 page)

But he remained unmoving.

Gwen held him, sobs wrenching through her, ripping her soul to shreds.  “Talon, don’t you understand?  I am the one who needs you most of all.”

****

Talon, through the haze of pain and the darkness encroaching on his thoughts, dimly heard Gwen’s agonized sobs and his heart twisted.

How could you do this to me
?  Indeed, he could not bear the thought of hurting her.  But that was also the reason why he wanted to die.  When Warenne had held that blade to her throat, such terror had possessed him he thought he couldn’t survive it.

If he died, Eleanor’s curse could not touch her.

The only reason Eleanor’s curse had power over you was because you allowed it.  Your belief in it makes it real.

What if she was right?

Talon had spent the last nine years trying to make amends for the pain he brought on Eleanor.  For a time he thought he had succeeded.  For a brief span of days he had found such happiness.  The joy within him had been so intense he feared something would happen to take it away.  Then Warenne had almost killed Gwen.

But Gwen was alive and well, yet she was suffering.  Not because Warenne had harmed her, but because Talon would die.

Again pain twisted through him.  Sweet Jesu, he never thought it possible to love so deeply.  He heard Gwen’s sobs and knowing he was the cause of her anguish made him want to scream.  If anyone else had hurt her like this, he would have taken his sword to the sod.

And the reason why she was in such pain was because she loved him as much as he loved her.

While married to Eleanor he had only desired that she care for him, that she return his affection.  He had so much more with Gwen and now he was going to throw it all away, devastating her along with his family.

I am the one who needs you most of all.

Damnation, Gwen was right.  He had been living his life under Eleanor’s shadow, allowing her bitterness to poison him.  Now he was about to make a grievous error - he was about to admit defeat.

Nay,
his thoughts growled. 
I’ll not fall victim to this a second time.  I’ll not leave my family to face the future alone.

I’ll not tear Gwen’s heart to shreds.

But just as he found a new hope, his strength abandoned him.  He tried to push the darkness back, to wrap his arms around Gwen and hold her close, to tell her he would fight for his life.

Was it already too late?  His awareness dimmed.  Chilling blackness clawed him into its depths.

****

Silence.

Talon’s senses slowly returned but the silence was deafening.  Had he failed in his battle?  Was this death?  He tried to move and pain roared through him, he sucked his breath through his teeth.

He couldn’t be dead, his body hurt too much.

Each breath he took seemed more agonizing than the last - but he was breathing.  He was terribly weak, but he was alive.  He managed to pry open his eyes.  The faint dawn illuminated the solar with a golden glow, shafts of sunlight streaming through the archer slits.  It was so very quiet.  The hearth fire had died so he didn’t even hear the crack and pop of the flames.

Talon realized a part of his discomfort was caused by the fact his body was ringing wet.  His hair was damp and sweat beaded on his skin.  His gaze focused on Gwen, still at his bedside.

She sat in a chair, but her head was on the edge of the bed and she slept.  Her long black hair cascaded around her, wild and tangled.  Her face, turned toward him, was pale and tear stained.  He saw lines of grief marring her normally perfect features.  He could more clearly see the blue veins under her skin.  Dear Lord, what pain had he brought upon her?

He started to reach for her but stopped when a parchment moved next to his arm.  He frowned and saw several parchments, a horn of ink and a quill on the table beside her.  He managed to move and pick up a piece of vellum in a shaking hand.  It took a moment for his eyes to focus, but then he recognized the journal she kept for healing.

The paper described in detail all she had done to save his life - but there was more.  It also described her anguish and fear of losing him.

I know not what else to do,
she had written in her last entry. 
Talon’s will to live is gone, so great is his fear of this curse.  How one woman could so deeply wound a man as strong as Talon, I will never know.  Yet, in a sense, I understand.  Talon’s heart is great.  His strength and ferocity in battle is matched only by the love and compassion within him.

When we met, I knew his heart had been wounded.  I suppose it was his vulnerability that drew me to him in the first place.  I wanted nothing more than to heal him.  The more I grew to know him, to understand the kindness within him, the more I longed to stop his pain.  But now I fear this wound is far beyond my skills to mend.

If only I could have loved him more, perhaps he would not choose to die.  If only I could have done something differently.  I would give up anything, even my own life, if he would only survive this...if he would only know how much I love him.  How can I face another dawn without the man who is part of my own soul?

I will continue for the sake of our children, but if he dies, he will take me with him.  I will never live again without his strength to shelter me, without his love to comfort me.  How can I?
When the only happiness I have known is dead because of a wounded heart I could not heal.

I think I finally understand the anguish Talon suffered when Eleanor died, even though he said he did not love her.  For here I sit, holding him in my arms while his fever rages, slowly stealing him from me.  And I am absolutely helpless to stop it.  I feel his soul slipping away and the agony of this powerlessness is too much to bear.

Almighty God, please do not allow Eleanor to take him from me.

Talon squeezed his eyes shut and took another breath to steady his aching heart.  He returned the parchment to its place.  It had almost happened.  He had almost died...and would have died...except for one thing.

“Gwen,” he whispered, lightly caressing her face.

She bolted upright, blinking in fear and confusion.  Then her gaze locked on his and she stared in shock, tears filling her eyes.  “Talon?” she asked as if scarcely daring to believe.  Her hands trembled as she caressed his face.  “Oh, Talon, is this real?  Am I dreaming?”

Although his arms felt weighted, he pulled her to him and held her tightly.  “’Tis real, my solace.”

“Your fever...’tis broken.”

“Aye, my love.  I will survive this.”

She pulled away gazing at him, her expression a mixture of surprise and hope.  He smiled, pulling her hand to his lips.  “You succeeded, Gwen.  You healed my heart.  ‘Tis why I am here now.  I love you and could never leave you to face this life alone.” 

Her tears flooded down her cheeks and she gasped on a cry of delight as she again threw her arms around him.  Talon chuckled, holding her close, and kissing her cheek.

“Thank God, Talon,” she murmured repeatedly.

A soft knock interrupted them and the door opened.  Talon caught the unmistakable sound of a fussing babe.

“My lady,” Alys said.  “I fear William--” she froze, staring at Talon in shock.  “My...my lord.”

He smiled, struggling to push himself up on the bed.  “Good morrow, Alys.”

The maid’s eyes widened.  “My lord...you are recovered.”

“Give William to me,” Gwen said.  “And fetch Rose quickly.”

“Aye, my lady,” she replied, her eyes still wide.  She handed the baby over and darted out the door.

Gwen put the babe to breast then reached for his hand.  Talon took it and tugged her onto the bed.  “Come, my love.  I am still infernally weak but I think I have enough strength for this.”  She nestled into the crook of his arm and he held her and his child close.

Rose shot through the door.  “Papa?”

He grinned at her.  “Aye, Rose.  Come here.  I want to enjoy my family.”

With a soft cry she lunged forward and he wrapped her in his free arm.  “Now I know why God gave man two arms.”

Gwen laughed.

“What?” Talon asked.

“I always knew your arms were strong enough to embrace an entire family, dear Talon.”

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head.  “And thank you, my solace, for giving me one.  Because of you, my daughter is returned to me and I now possess more than I ever thought possible.  I pray that God will give my arms the strength to always hold you close.”

“Of that, my love, I have no doubt, no matter how many children we have.”

He laughed a brilliant joy filling him and his arms tight around the people he loved most in this world.

His family.

July,
1274

Talon Montgomery, Marcher Earl, warlord and knight, lay on his back on the floor and laughed uproariously as his six month old son spit up on his chest.  Little Marcus was the latest addition to their growing brood of five children, including Rose.

“Talon,” Gwen scolded gently.  “How many times do I have to tell you not to get him so excited after he
eats?  He’ll have the entire keep awake with his colic.”

Still giggling, Talon sat up and caught the clean cloth Gwen tossed at him.  “I am sorry, my solace, but I adore that belly laugh of his.”

She smiled, shaking her head ruefully.

The door to the solar exploded open.  “Papa,” Rose screeched.  “Tell William to leave Michael and Sarah alone,” she marched inside with a red faced William and a crying Sarah in tow.  Michael followed behind, his gaze shooting daggers at William’s back.

Not long after William had been born, Gwen again conceived and had given birth to twins, a boy and a girl, Michael was the spitting image of Talon, and Sarah that of her mother.  Talon arched an eyebrow seeing Sarah’s gown soiled and muddy, a peculiar odor wafting in after her.  Then he saw Michael’s swollen lip.  Although a boy and a girl, the twins stood up for each other ferociously when faced with William’s mischief.

“William?” he asked sternly.

The young man blanched.  “It was an accident, father, I didn’t mean for Sarah to fall in the pigsty.”

Gwen took little Talon from him, her eyes dancing with mirth.  “I shall leave you to attend to this.”

The stench hit him fully and Talon cringed.  Sarah continued to wail, causing little Marcus to cry with her.

“Peace, all of you,” Talon bellowed silencing the throng.

“It’s her own fault,” William muttered, scuffing his boots on the floor.  “If she wasn’t so clumsy....”

“Oooohhhhh!” Sarah screeched.  She lunged toward William.  Talon instantly intercepted, wrapping his arm around her waist and easily hoisting her from her feet.  But William was not about to hide from a scuffle, he charged and plowed into Talon’s leg instead.  Michael instantly jumped to the foray and Talon suddenly found himself overwhelmed with children.

Talon couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him.  He and Gwen constantly found themselves acting as arbiters in the center of the scuffles.  Abruptly the children took his laugh as a cue to turn on him.  Talon went down in a pile of children, laughing and tickling each in turn.

A knock sounded at the door.  “What is it?” Talon bellowed, managing to fend off William by trapping him in a bear hug.

Marcus opened the door.  “Prince Edward has sent a formal request for your attendance at his coronation next month and your vow of fealty.”

Talon nodded, knowing it was only a formality, he had promised to swear fealty to Edward because he had allowed his marriage to Gwen.  “It seems we shall all be off to London.”

The children froze, staring at him in shock.  “London?” William asked.  “All of us?”

“Aye, we must attend the coronation of our new king.”

A chorus of cheers resounded.

Gwen shook her head laughing.  “I hope these terrors will be on their best behavior.  Edward will not be pleased if we turn his coronation into a riot.”

Talon laughed and winked at her.  “Why else would I bring them, my love?” 

Marcus laughed as well. “There is more, Talon. We have a visitor.”

“A visitor?”

“Aye. Earl Brynmor ap Powys has come to call.” He winked at Rose.

“Bryn?” she asked, astonished. “Bryn is here?”

Despite their best efforts and alliance with Brynmor they had not seen him since he returned Rose home ten years ago.

Before Talon had a chance to say anything, Rose darted out the door and sprinted down the stairs.  “Bryn!  Bryn!”

Talon hurried after her and entered the hall, with Gwen right behind.  He spotted a giant knight, who stood even taller than he.  The man was pure power and armed to the teeth, wearing a new combination of mail and plate armor.  Long black hair fell to his waist over a rich velvet green cloak.  Icy green eyes locked on Talon’s and the knight held his gaze unflinchingly.  He was young, perhaps a score of years younger than Talon.

Talon felt a warning shiver skitter down his spine.  The young knight was powerfully built and surprisingly handsome.  Talon instinctively knew besting him would be a challenge indeed.  But Talon was still very much in his prime when it came to strength and battle skills.

Brynmor saw Rose running toward him and his eyes widened in shock.  “Rose? Is that you?”

With a cry of joy she flung herself into his arms.  Talon’s hackles lifted. 

Brynmor laughed, spinning her around.  “Look at you, little one.  You...you are beautiful.”  He backed away his gaze traveling over her in amazement and something more which Talon did not care to describe.

“I’m not little anymore, Bryn,” Rose said smiling up at him, her cheeks reddened.

Brynmor couldn’t take his eyes off of her.  “I see that,” he said his voice growing husky.  “The child I rescued in my youth is now a beautiful young woman.”

Rose blushed a bright red.

“Greetings,” Talon said harshly and stepped forward.  “I am Earl Talon Montgomery.”

Brynmor accepted Talon's outstretched forearm with a strong grip of his own but before Talon could say anything more, Gwen flew past him.

The young earl swept Gwen in his arms and spun her around.  “Ah, dear sister, you look beautiful as always.”

Talon scowled, folding his arms over his chest.  This man was entirely too familiar with the women in Talon’s life.

“How are you, Brynmor?” Gwen asked.

“I am well, sister,” he said but Talon stiffened as his expression changed to one of a haunted misery. Talon recognized it all too well. “To be honest,” Bryn said softly. “I have sore need of my family.”

Gwen gazed at him in concern. “What is it Bryn?”

“The schemes...the intrigue...I have stood against all of them successfully...but I have stood alone. I...” his voice faded.

Talon stepped forward, understanding exactly what troubled the young earl. “Your family stands with you, Brynmor. You are always welcome here whenever you need sanctuary.”

Brynmor looked at him gratefully. “Thank you, Earl. I cannot stay long but I found I needed a respite however brief.”

“How long can you stay?” Rose asked.

“A sennight. I fear if I stay longer, the plots and schemes will turn into rebellion.”

“Now you know why I did not wish to return to Powys,” Gwen said.

“By the Rood, Gwen, I understand your position with absolute clarity.”

“You didn’t come to see me?” Rose asked, her voice gently teasing but Talon recognized a spark in her eyes that set his teeth on edge.

Brynmor caught her hand, kissing the back of it.  Talon clenched his fists.  “Of course, I came to see you, little one.”

“I’m not little anymore.”

“So I see.”

Talon almost snarled in fury, earning him a scowl from Gwen.  She moved to his side and took his arm.  “Talon?” she whispered.

He ignored her, watching their guest closely.  He remembered all Gwen had told him about the young man who had freed Rose.  But there was something about him...Talon noted his black hair and green-blue eyes.  He scowled his gaze jumping from Gwen to Brynmor and back again.  The same straight nose, graceful cheekbones...nay, it was impossible.  Brynmor could not be related to her, Gwen had said her father could sire no more children after she had been born and Brynmor was younger than Gwen, only a score and seven now.  But the similarities nagged at Talon.

Brynmor and Rose continued to speak and Talon abruptly forgot his musings, recognizing the fire in Brynmor’s eyes.  Rose had flowered into a beautiful young woman, having suitors by the score, but none had captured her fancy.  Yet she gazed at Brynmor with open admiration and Talon found he didn’t like it one whit.  He stepped closer, his arms folded over his chest, glaring at Brynmor.

Brynmor’s gaze remained on Rose.

Talon’s fury simmered and he pointedly cleared his throat.

Brynmor looked at him startled and took a step back.  “Excuse me, Earl.  I was distracted.  I also came to speak of you regarding concerns over Prince Edward’s ascension to the throne.” 

Talon nodded curtly.  With Edward’s coronation fast approaching, those of Welsh blood
had a right to be concerned.  Rumor had it, Edward planned to go a warring again, intending to bring the Welsh to heel.

“Papa,” Rose said, trying to step around him in order to move closer to Brynmor.  “We should at least have dinner first.”

Talon rounded on her and arched an eyebrow.  “We have business to discuss, Rose.”

“Papa!”

“Peace!  I will hear no argument.” 

She huffed a sigh at him and purposefully looped an arm around Brynmor’s and guided him away.

Brynmor blinked at him in confusion but walked with Rose.

Talon’s vision tinted red at her direct defiance.

“Talon,” Gwen whispered, shaking her head, but her eyes sparked merrily.  “What’s wrong with you?”

“Brynmor and how he looks at my daughter is what’s wrong.”

Gwen covered a smile.  “Don’t be so stubborn.  Rose is marrying age, and you have promised not to marry her to a man she does not choose.  When she finally shows a spark of interest, you act like a beast.”

He bristled.  “He shows too much interest in her.”

“He saved her life, remember?”

“I remember,” Talon growled.  “But Gwen, he is ten years her senior.”

Gwen choked on a laugh.  “Talon, my love,
you
are also ten years my senior.”

He blinked down at her, stunned.  “I am not.”

She laughed so hard tears sparkled in her eyes.  “You are.”

“I am not!”  He scowled, trying to remember Gwen’s exact age.  She was in her mid-thirties and he approached...bloody hell!  Talon saw Rose laugh at something Brynmor said and decided his argument with Gwen was pointless.  He stepped forward quickly.  “Brynmor.”

The young knight faced him.  “My lord?”

“Surely your prince Llewellyn realizes Edward is not happy with him.”

“Aye, that is the concern.  I worry what this means for Wales.  I fear war is coming to my homeland.  Powys is allied to you by marriage but will that be strong enough to sway Edward?”

Talon looked at Rose, still clinging to Brynmor’s arm.  “Rose, we must discuss this.  Go help your mother in the kitchens.”

“Papa.”

Gwen swooped in.  “Come, Rose.”

Her shoulders slumped as she realized she was outnumbered.  Talon was actually surprised Gwen so easily accepted being sent to the kitchens.  She had never done so in the past.  But then he saw Gwen lean closer and whisper in Rose’s ear.  “We can always strengthen the alliance between Powys and Montgomery,” she whispered.  Rose immediately brightened and the two began to speak in hushed tones as they walked.

God’s teeth!  He had just made a grave error putting the two together.  No doubt they would formulate a devious plan against him.  Talon sincerely rued the day he had told Gwen it was necessary for a lady to know politics.  And unfortunately for him, Gwen’s political savvy was as sharp as his.

Talon groaned and rubbed his eyes.

“My lord?” Brynmor asked, frowning.

Talon eyed him critically.  At least the man looked like a good warrior, and his ability to save Rose when he was naught but eight and ten said much for him.  “I hear you have a fine sword arm.”

“I’ve heard it mentioned.”

“Then come to me to the list field.”

“List field?” Brynmor asked, his face paling.  “I pray, Earl, have I given you some offense?”

“Nay, but I must test the mettle of the man who will soon be my son in law.”

“Son in law?” he gasped, his face draining of all color.

Talon bit back laugh, realizing the thought of marriage terrified Brynmor more than facing twenty knights on the battlefield.  Perhaps there was hope for him yet.

“Papa,” Sarah cried as she and the brood descended the stairs.  “What about William?”

Talon groaned again and turned to face his children.

“She started it,” William said.

“I did not!”

“Did too!”

He heard a soft laugh from the kitchens and saw Gwen approaching.  He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close, burying his face in Gwen’s hair.  “Sweet Jesu.  How do you know how to best me before I even realize the battle has been engaged?”

Gwen laughed.  “I love you, Talon Montgomery.”

He chuckled, nibbling her ear.  “And I love you, my solace.”

“Papa!” four plaintive voices chorused.

Alys descended the stairs with little Marcus, his wails joining the cacophony.

Talon started laughing so hard he could scarce catch a breath.  He gazed down at his brood, grinning broadly, with Brynmor hovering uncertainly near the door.  Preparing to bolt if he had a brain in his head, Talon thought.