Hearts on Fire (4 page)

“What did you think we were going to do?”

Her shoulders rose and fell with a sigh that sounded like it came from a deep well inside her. “I thought we were going to have sex. Hot, dirty sex.”

He didn’t bother denying it. Instead, he chalked it up to the two of them having at least been on the same page for a while. “You’ve changed your mind?”

She nodded. “Yes. No.”

He couldn’t help the frustrated groan that passed his lips. If he could develop a decoder ring to make sense of the things women said, he would be a rich man.

“I wanted it. I still want it. I just don’t think I can go through with it.”

“Why the hell not?” Frustration laced his voice, but he was entitled, wasn’t he?

“Because. It’s been a long time. I thought I was ready, but now I’m not sure.”

“I can be convincing.” He half-laughed at his own joke.

“I’m sorry, Steve. I….” She took a deep breath then blew it out, letting her head fall back against the headrest. “You’re a nice man. Good looking, too. It’s just been so long.”

“Maybe if we got to know each other a little more? I got us a hotel room for the night, but we don’t have to use it. Why don’t we start with dinner, some place quiet. Then if we decide we want to use the room, fine. If not, I’ll take you home. Where is home, by the way?”

“Here. I have a motor home.”

“Dinner? You can tell me what it’s like to live in a house on wheels.”

She rolled her head to look at him. “I was right. You are a nice guy. Dinner, some place quiet then we’ll see. Okay?”

He restarted the engine. “Then we’ll see.”

~~~

Some place quiet turned out to be hamburgers to go from a local restaurant. The closed beach parking lot didn’t pose a problem for a firefighter who knew the back way in. Parked so the bed of the truck faced the surf, they sat on the lowered tailgate covered with a blanket he had fished out of the big silver toolbox mounted next to the cab.

Shannon was all too aware of the man occupying the other side of the makeshift picnic table. He hadn’t said much since they left the faire, only inquiring how she liked her burger before placing their order at the drive-thru window. She’d been drawn to him from the beginning. The thought crossed her mind the attraction could be for the package—father and daughter—family.

Once upon a time, she’d lived the fairy tale. She supposed she was getting better, but it had taken years before she could look at a family and not have to fight back tears. It had taken even longer for her to get to the point where she could look on those families with anything but jealousy and a simmering rage at all that had been taken from her.

Reaching out to help a child then finding the nerve to hold her own against the girl’s father later on had to mean she was getting better. Almost normal.

No. She’d never be normal again, but perhaps she could find a measure of peace.

Steve stuffed a wad of french fries in his mouth and chewed. Typical male. He’d almost finished his meal, and she’d barely touched hers.

“What?” he asked.

Shannon jumped at his voice, embarrassed to be caught staring at his profile. He was one of the best looking men she’d ever seen. Mike had been handsome, but in a polished, executive way where Steve was sexy in a more primal way. Not that she didn’t think he was smart—he had to be in his line of work—but his job required more muscle than sitting behind a desk staring at a computer screen.

Mike had made up for his inertia on the job by going to the gym five days a week. Running on a treadmill had kept the spare tire at bay, but hadn’t necessarily built muscle. As his wife, she hadn’t complained. He knew a thing or two in bed, and she’d never not wanted him to make love to her. He didn’t go in for macho caveman behavior. His style had been more democratic. “Tell me what you like, Shannon. Does this feel good? If you want something different, just ask.”

She hadn’t thought about those days in years. If…. No, she never would have told him she wanted something different. He would have seen her desires as a failure on his part, not an invitation to be more adventurous in bed. She never would have done that to him.

But here she was with a chance if she would just take it. She’d bet her loom the man sitting next to her wouldn’t be the least bit democratic in bed.

“What are you like in bed?” She’d shocked him, and herself. He stared at her, his mouth open, another wad of greasy potatoes poised to stuff inside frozen in midair. She held her breath while the hand holding the fries dropped. He closed his mouth, his lips quirking up on one side, his eyes glittering in the late twilight.

“I should probably say something reassuring like I’m patient and undemanding, so as not to scare you any more than you already are, but I won’t lie. I’m demanding as hell in bed. I won’t leave you unsatisfied, but I take what I want. No apologies. I respect the word no, but there isn’t much I won’t ask a woman to do.”

His voice was thick, almost a feral growl that did all kinds of things to her hormones.
Just once. Experience it once then I’ll know if I was missing something or not
.

“If I say no, you’ll stop?”

He tossed what remained of his hamburger back into the paper bag they’d saved for trash. “I’ll stop.”

Shannon turned away from the waves of testosterone-laden desire shimmering off her date and stared, unseeing, at the ocean waves in the distance. Her body hummed with a need she hadn’t experienced in years. Not since…the fairy tale had ended. Had she ever felt this kind of tumult in her body for Mike? She couldn’t remember anything like it. Wanting him had been easy, sweet almost. Not turbulent like the feelings churning through her body for this man.

“I don’t want to think about it. I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t think at all.”

The silence from the other side of the tailgate was deafening. She’d shocked them both—again.

“I can do that.”

He gathered their trash into one bag in record time. While he walked it to a nearby waste receptacle, Shannon folded the blanket and put it back into the toolbox. Steve slammed the tailgate shut then they both climbed into their respective sides of the cab.

In no time, he pulled underneath the hotel’s portico and handed her a plastic key card. “Room 311. I’ll park the truck and be up in a minute.”

She was grateful for the time alone, even if it only amounted to a few minutes. Despite his macho appearance, Steve was a gentleman. Somehow, she knew he’d given her this time to reconsider what she’d agreed to, and if she changed her mind, he wouldn’t try to convince her otherwise. Whatever happened from here on out was her decision—or rather,
not
her decision.

Like she’d told him, she didn’t want to think about it. She wanted him to take charge, to force her body to remember what it felt like to be touched, though not in the same way, exactly. She didn’t want sweet. She wanted hot, raw…earthy sex. Sex so powerful it was all her mind could do to process the sensations, much less think about the fact she was going to bed with a virtual stranger.

In the years she’d traveled with the Renaissance faire, she’d come to count several participants as friends. She suspected they all had their motives for not putting down roots, just as she did. They’d been supportive of her enterprise without asking her to explain her reasons for living a transient life—which was good, considering she didn’t want to invite questions. The less people who knew about her one night stand, the better.

The room wasn’t extravagant, but it beat the heck out of the tiny bedroom in the back of her motor home in both size and privacy. She set her purse on the dresser then sat on the end of the bed to wait. Did he expect her to undress, or would he want to do the honors himself? An image of his big hands working the small button loose at her nape sent a shiver down her spine. As erotic as that seemed, it would slow things down, and she didn’t want slow. She swept her hair over one shoulder so she could get to the loop fastener.

Down to her panties and bra, she pulled back the covers on the bed. The rasp of a keycard in the lock sent her heart racing. Straightening, she held the sheet in one hand while she fisted the other against her stomach. Doubts she should have listened to hours ago forced their way to the forefront.

What am I doing? I don’t know anything about this man.

The door opened. Steve stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. His gaze landed on her. The blaze in his eyes burned her doubts to cinders. She couldn’t recall ever having a man look at her with such raw lust. She tightened her hold on the bedclothes like a drowning woman clutching a rope.

Steve tossed his keys on the dresser and toed off his shoes without taking his eyes off her. The movements were ordinary, yet intimate. The date portion of the evening was over. The time had come to put action to her words—but her feet were anchored to the spot.

“Come here.” He crooked his index finger at her. “Unless you’ve changed your mind?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“No, what? No, you won’t come over here, or no, you haven’t changed your mind?”

His voice sounded as strained as her thought processes were. “I haven’t changed my mind.”

He motioned with his hand again. “Then come over here.”

Somehow she managed to put one foot in front of the other enough times to move her in front of him. When his hands came to rest on her waist, she flinched. Surprise flashed in his eyes, but he didn’t question her jerky movement. She couldn’t tell him he was the first man to touch her in…years. He would run out the door before she could explain.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered.
Please don’t stop.
Though fear threatened to paralyze her, she was determined, too. Something about this man drew her. He could make the numbness go away, and she desperately wanted to feel again. “Fuck me.”

His fingers dug into her skin. Her feet left the floor. Her back met the wall, and his mouth came down on hers. His hands molded to her ass, lifting her. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and kissed him back.

He tasted of mint, and she instantly wished she could have brushed her teeth. He’d obviously popped a breath mint before coming to the room. When he broke the kiss in order to nibble his way down her neck, she forgot all about her lack of sweet breath. This was exactly what she wanted—to feel. And, oh, did she feel.

His mouth explored at will, never staying one place long enough for her to get used to the feel of him tasting her. “God, I want to eat you up,” he said, tonguing the hollow at the base of her throat. “But first things first.”

While his mouth set her skin on fire, down below, his thumbs slid beneath her panties to stroke her buttocks while his fingers crept closer to her throbbing heat. Finding her slit, he slid through the damp folds. She groaned. Closing her eyes, she let her forehead drop to his shoulder.

Oh, God.
His fingers felt so good. He rimmed her opening with a blunt fingertip then dipped inside, teasing her channel until she bucked against him, wordlessly asking for more.

“So fucking wet.” He sucked her earlobe into his mouth. The not-so-gentle tug with his teeth telegraphed a message of want and need to her pussy. “I want you. Now.”

He supported her with one hand while he dug in his back pocket with the other. “Hold out your hand.”

When she let go of his neck and placed her hand between them, he filled her palm with a string of foil packets. “I hope to God we have enough ‘cause I don’t think there’s any way once is going to do it for me.”

Shannon closed her fingers over the crinkling squares, silently thanking the universe one of them had had the sense to plan ahead.

“Tear one off, babe.”

He let her down long enough to unzip and shove his jeans to his thighs. She dropped the extra condoms to the floor and ripped open the one packet she’d kept. Only then did she find the nerve to check him out. Mike had been…average…adequate, but Steve ….

“Trust me, it will fit.”

She glanced up at him and read the hunger in his eyes. A long ago memory flashed in her brain—her, lying beneath Mike, secretly wondering what it would feel like to be with a larger man. She’d felt unfaithful thinking, imagining, but she’d been single for years. She had no reason to feel disloyal.

“I know.” The words came out sounding breathless and more confident than she actually felt. She dropped her gaze to his erection. As she covered the tip with the latex hat, he hissed out a curse, but he didn’t stop her, just put his hands on the wall behind her and flexed his hips to give her more room to work the sheath over his length.

The moment her fingers wrapped around the base, he touched his forehead to hers. His chest rose and fell with his rapid breathing. She held on to him, not knowing what else to do at this point. He seemed to need a minute while she thought she might die if he wasn’t inside her soon.

“Shannon?”

“Yes?”

“In about two seconds, I’m going to fuck your brains out unless you tell me to stop right now.”

Instead of telling him to stop, she lifted her face and sealed her lips to his.

He moved fast, gripping her ass, hoisting her high. Backed against the wall, her arms and legs wrapped around him, she couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. When he hooked his fingers into the crotch of her panties, hitched the fabric to one side, and pushed inside her, she froze for a fraction of a heartbeat. It had been a long time, but she recognized the tightening of muscles, the building tension for what it was. She couldn’t stop the inevitable. She came in a rush so intense it eclipsed even her embarrassment at coming at his first penetration. Wave after wave of pleasure overtook her body. He held her tight while she clung to him like she’d been tossed into the rapids, and he was the only thing keeping her head above water.

When her body calmed, he remained hard inside her. She took a moment to appreciate the feel of him filling her. Resting her head against the wall, she inhaled deeply, savoring the scent of her own arousal mingled with the musky male scent that was like no other she had ever known.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, refusing to open her eyes to see the disappointment on his face.