Heart's Betrayal (26 page)

“Jenesis, you know how I feel about you.” He said as he grabbed my arm gently and escorted me away from Michael.

“You were never there. We were friends once. You knew Dave. Did you know what was going on? He raped me.” I whispered, ready to fall apart.

“Of course not, how could I.” he shook his head in disappoint. “I always loved you Jen. That’s why I never spoke to you again. I don’t know if he raped you or not, but, I’m sorry if he did. I’m sorry for everything you went through.” He lowered his head in shame.
 

“Right. Dave raped me and then tried to strangle the life out of me, and you’re handing me this flag. Have you no respect for the living? Burn it, Nick.” I whispered. “Burn him and make sure he goes straight to hell.” My tears fell from my eyes unannounced. The pain in my heart stabbing at me until I lost my breath. “How dare you do all of this for a man who hurt me? A man who killed dozens of women. You don’t believe me. You’re just like the rest.” I covered my mouth with my hand as I sobbed.

“We don’t believe he killed those women. Marquis did. It’s your word against his, remember, he was shot dead by him.” He pointed his finger towards Michael. “Why are you here anyway?” he shouted.

“He was shot dead by my husband because he was raping me! Michael is his son! I’m here to make sure he’s dead! I’m not opening his casket out of respect, otherwise, I would do that, too!” I yelled. I turned around and walked away from Nick when I noticed Detective Corrigan walking towards Michael.

“Mike, drop that bitch like a bad habit. We know you were just upset because your wife was fucking around with Dave, let her go, she’s no good.” he said.

“You son of a bitch!” Michael swung at him. Detective Corrigan ducked. “I’ll fucking kill you!” Michael shouted.

“Like you killed Dave?” He grabbed Michael by his throat. “Don’t be mad at me ‘cause your wife was fucking her boss.” he whispered in his ear.

“You’re a piece of shit, Eric, and one day, this is all going to blow up in your face.” Michael said as he grabbed his hand and pulled it off of his throat. “It doesn’t matter what you think. Jenesis is alive and Dave is dead…and I’m off the hook and there isn’t a fucking thing you can do about it.” He pulled in closer, touching Detective Corrigan’s face with his nose. “And yes, I killed him. And I got away with it. What’s makes you think I won’t kill you…and get away with it.” Michael stared directly into Detective Corrigan’s blue eyes.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Detective Corrigan said as he turned and walked away.

“Hey Eric. Yes. I. Would.” Michael shouted as we walked towards the car in the parking lot. He glanced over at me as we walked. “Jenesis, I’m sorry. I told you not to come here. I told you this would turn out really bad.” he said softly. I stared as Nick walked away from us with the flag in his hands.

“Grow up Michael. Nothing is worse than what
he
did to me…to
us
. Why do you think I came here?”

“I understand, but it was just a bad idea. As a matter of fact… it was crazy.”

“Crazier than staying with the man who helped a serial killer…his own father… try to kill his wife, really?” I shouted.

“Goddammit! Jenesis! You being here means something. I want you to forgive me so we can try to move on.” He grabbed me the shoulders. I shook my head and began to cry placing my hands over my face.  “I’ll do anything you ask. Please, please don’t leave me.” I couldn’t look at him. I kept my hands over my face. “You promised me you would never leave me.” He whispered. I slid my hands slowly off of my face and looked up at him.

“That was before I found out you were a sick fuck!” I shouted. I turned my face away from him. His face grew pale.

“Please, give me a chance Jenesis. I was never going to hurt you. You have to believe me.” He whispered.

“Believe you? What do you expect me to do?” I said with tears in my eyes.

“We just got out of the damn hospital. How do you think I feel watching my father fuck my wife! Huh?” he growled, his eyes narrowed with anger.

“Don’t! Don’t go there! How could you? How could you?” I shouted at him as I took my fists and pounded on his chest as hard as I could. He stood there and he let me. He knew I needed to release that anger.

“Baby, please…Can we just go home, can we…please?” he grabbed my hands gently.

“I don’t know what to do.” I whimpered. “Help me, please, Michael, help me.” He grabbed me and pulled me to his chest. “I don’t want to go back to that house! I can’t. I just can’t.”

“Shhh…Okay, we won’t.” He held me in his arms and I let him.

    Michael and I both stared at each other as we heard the sound of firearms being shot in the air and trumpets playing TAPS for a decorated detective, just like you would see in the movies. Michael gazed at me for a moment, as I gasped and whimpered like a wounded dog. My whole body tensed up. I buried my face in his chest, placing my ear against it, listening to the beat of his heart. I tried to remember the man I loved, instead of the
monster
that lay with me in my bed. He nuzzled his face in my hair and took a deep breath and said,

“Jen, we’re never going to be the same, but I promise you, it will be a new beginning for us both. I promise.” I shook my head. There was no way I could be with Michael I thought to myself. But, how would I walk away. How?

     CHAPTER 11

    I stood staring out of the window with a cup of tea in my hands watching the birds frolic in a little puddle of water near the trees in the park. I watched as they splashed their wings in the water, a battle to the end to see who flap their wings faster. I giggled softly. I heard the door opening as the spring breeze blew in through the window rustling the sheets on the bed. I heard his footsteps and turned around to greet him.

“Hey,” I whispered staring at him from afar.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked as he removed his suit jacket and hung it up in the closet. I nodded my head then turned around and continued to stare out of the window.

      Three months had passed since the tragedy with Dave…and Michael. Sometimes, I imploded internally just thinking about the decision I made to stay with Michael. But, I loved him and there was no denying it. I sometimes think that I’ll never grow out of my insecurities; that I could never be alone because my father branded me as weak. 

     We found an apartment on the near Central Park, never returning to the house we owned. We sent a packing company over to pick up our belongings minus the phone and the answering machine.

    Michael was right, things were never the same, but we were trying to move on. I owed so much to Dr. Logan, without her I…we…wouldn’t have survived. Dr. Logan helped tried to help me as much as she could. This time around. I was angry, bitter and she wasn’t able to break down that wall. It was my defense mechanism, a survival tactic that worked for me. Dave left a lot of questions unanswered and that made me confused and angry. I was wallowing in a pool of sorrow, and I needed help…I was drowning. Even though we took a vow to be friends only, Dr. Logan immediately saw me again as my therapist without hesitation and I was grateful for that.

“Jenesis, I’m so glad you’ve been coming regularly. We’ve been getting a lot accomplished. I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding the subject though.” she said as she glanced up at me, taking a quick break from writing on her clipboard.

“What subject?” I said knowing very well that she was talking about Dave.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” she said sternly.

“I don’t!” I snapped at her.

“Dave, Jenesis, Dave. He’s the only person you haven’t spoken about in the last three months” She crossed her legs as she wrote on her clipboard.

“I…I …can’t talk about him.” I shook my head as my eyes filled with tears. The pain in my heart was excruciating. I couldn’t bear to talk about him. I was sick over it, and no matter what he did to me…no matter how angry and hurt I was, I was afraid because…
I still loved him. I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I didn’t know how to cope.

“Jenesis, you said you haven’t been feeling well. Have you been to the doctor?”

“No. I haven’t been to the doctor…it’s been about two or three months now.”

“Why? What’s going on? You have to take care of yourself. I suggest you go. You might be coming down with something.” She held my hand to comfort me. “You can bring Michael to the next session. It’s time to get the therapy you both need together. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I don’t know about that. I don’t think I’m ready to have him at the sessions yet. I’d like to leave now, I’m feeling nauseous.” I swallowed hard as the saliva was building up in my mouth.

“Jenesis, please, we can’t move on with your treatment if you don’t discuss how much Dave has hurt you.” She pleaded.

“I have Michael in my life. I’ve forgiven him and I want to move on and forget about Dave.” I lied through my teeth. Staying with Michael was even worst. But I had no one. NO ONE. “I don’t ever want to mention his name again…
ever
.” I stood up from the chair and walked out of the office.

“You’re only lying to yourself…you’ll never get rid of him like that…never…Jenesis? Jenesis?” she shouted.

    I took the elevator to the lobby and walked across the street to the pharmacy. I glanced at the aisle that sold condoms and pregnancy tests. I grabbed a first response test and walked over to the counter to pay for it.

“Sixteen dollars and seven cents.” the cashier said as he threw the pregnancy test in a bag.

“Thanks Miss, and Good Luck.” he said as he stared at me. I looked at him oddly, gawking at his hair that stood sharply above his head in the shape of a Mohawk. I gave him a gentle smile and walked away.

    I hailed a cab, got in, and headed home. On the way home, I thought about what Annmarie said, but she didn’t understand. I wasn’t able to talk about Dave…especially not now. The cabby stopped in front of my apartment building. I got out and saw Michael walking in.

“Hey.” I said.

“Hey, you’re home early from therapy.” he slid his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, I wasn’t feeling it today.” I lowered my head.

“Let’s go upstairs.” He smiled gently.

    We walked into the elevator and entered the apartment. Michael went into the bedroom to change his clothes. I walked over to the bathroom, locked the door, and looked in the mirror.
It’s now or never, Jenesis, I thought to myself as I stared into the mirror blankly
. I pulled down my pants and panties at the same time, tore open the first response test, sat on the toilet, and peed on the stick. I sat patiently as Michael knocked on the door.

“Jen, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.” I shouted.

    I placed the test on the sink and stood leaning against the door. I took a deep breath and glanced over at the test. My heart sank into my stomach. I lowered my head in shame. I never felt so defeated in my life. The stick showed a plus sign. I was pregnant and I didn’t know who the father was.
Was it Dave’s or Michael’s?
My worst nightmare come true.

     I slid down against the bathroom door and held my head between my hands. I felt nauseous and horrified at the same time.
What am I going to do?
I began to cry holding my stomach and rubbing it gently. Michael knocked on the door startling me.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. Michael knocked on the door again.

“Are you coming out? Jenesis, is everything okay?”

“Michael, I’m in trouble.” I said softly.

“Jen, open the door. What’s going on?” he said nervously.

“I’m pregnant.” I whispered.

“What?” he said.

“I’m pregnant.” I said placing my cheek against the door as my heart pounded against my chest. I didn’t hear a response from Michael. I lifted myself from the floor and opened the door slowly.

“Michael?”

    I walked around the apartment and noticed Michael was gone. I sat on the couch and looked down at my stomach. I gently placed my hand on my belly and rubbed it softly. I inhaled deeply then closed my eyes tightly. There was no way around this. There was no way I was going to have an abortion.
NO. WAY.

I took out my cell phone from my purse and sent Dr. Logan a text.

I’m pregnant.

J

Jenesis, congratulations!

AnnMarie

No. Don’t say that. Dave raped me. And days before that happened, I had unprotected sex with Michael. I could be carrying Dave’s child.

J

OMG, Jenesis. What are you going to do?

Annmarie

I don’t know. I don’t know.

J

                                                The End