Heart Song (9 page)

A rumble of thunder in the distance, followed by the cries of a lonely pack of wolves, sounded through the air and chilled my skin. I ran to the balcony and pulled open the doors, only to be disappointed by the empty garden below. Not so much as a shadow moved within the trees. I walked back inside to continue undressing—leaving on only the underdress— then parted the sheers surrounding the bed and climbed in. I wanted nothing more than to pull the covers over me and shut out the rest of the world.

I woke from a
fitful sleep with a loud clap of thunder that shook the room. I sat up, struggling to catch my breath, when I saw someone at the foot of the bed.
“Marren?”

“I'm here.”

“What are you doing at the foot of my bed?” I snapped, still angry.

“I want you to see me…what I am,” he replied as if he was surrendering to something he didn’t want to do.

My heart started to race. Questions and warnings rang in the back of my mind. But one thing overwhelmed them all. Need. A need to know, a need to see, a need to keep him with me because I was too proud to admit I was too scared to be alone.

I moved slowly, crawling on top of the blankets and to the edge of the bed. I stood on my knees and took deep breaths to calm myself as lightning and thunder crashed around me and rain pelted the stone balcony.  I reached with trembling hands and pulled the sheers apart slowly. Marren stood on the other side of the bench, patiently waiting for my reaction. He stood perfectly still, like a statue belonging in the
ball
room with the other races, long fallen into myth and legend.  Lighting flashed across his face and I knew then why he was so afraid.

I froze.
Partly in terror and partly in awe.
“You’re a werewolf.”

“Are you afraid of me?” he asked with uncertainty.

Of course I was afraid. It wouldn't be natural otherwise.  But, I couldn’t tell him that. “No.
More like…mesmerized.”

I leaned over the bench, reached out my hand and touched his face. It felt as soft and smooth as the human part of him. My fingers traced the changes, moving over the rises and falls of his features. Goosebumps rose on my arms and trickled down my spine.  In another flash of lightning, I saw that his eyes were closed.

“You're beautiful,” I whispered.

“You—you don't think I'm a monster?”

I laughed under my breath, “How could I?”

“This is what I am. If living a life with me is what you really want, you will have to eventually make the change as well,” his words echoed soundlessly through my mind. I felt the urgency within them.

I dropped my hand and sat back on my legs. “Before I can think about that, you have to give me some answers.” He nodded slowly. “How old are you?”

“Old enough to have seen the changes in this world,” he spoke with sadness in his words.

“Does that mean you will you live forever?”

“Theoretically, yes.”

“So if I decide not to make the change, then...”

“It will kill me when you eventually die.”

“Why would my death kill you?”  I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. Instead of getting answers, I found more questions.

His mouth opened as if he was going to answer but then he closed it, looking out the window. Worry creased his brow.

I tried a different approach, “Is that the decision you warned me of?”

“I wouldn’t want you to rush into something like this. It takes time. But, with the company that's coming, you'll need to make that decision sooner than I had hoped.”

I climbed onto the bench and to the floor to stand in front of him, my knees felt stiff from sitting on them.
“When?”

“The decision will need to be made by tomorrow night.”

“What happens if I say no?”

“I would rather not have to think about that, but have considered that a possibility.”

“And?”
I asked.

“And I’m hoping you won’t,” he said.

“Why is it important to you for me to say yes?”

“Because, my world was never compl
ete until you were a part of it and you are my heart song.
”

My mind emptied of everything. Every question, every thought and argument, even logic left my mind. Not once did I expect to hear words like his. I was never anything to anyone. My own father didn’t even want me, and yet, Marren did.  The whirlwind of my life seemed less chaotic with him. He calmed the destructive force that claimed so much of me and when I thought about not having him around, my heart hurt.
I’ve always been told persistence wins over patience. I just didn’t know how true that was until
then
.

My decision was made.

I lifted my hands to his chest, feeling his heart thumping hard enough to be felt through his shirt. I inched close enough to feel his breath blow over my neck and shoulders. His lips pressed into my forehead. I could tell he was holding back.

I slid my hands around his neck and pulled his lips to mine. Rushing fire pulsed through my veins, setting every nerve ending on fir
e. Everywhere his hands touched
tingled like tiny bolts of lightning. Slowly, his arms wrapped around me as our kiss deepened.  I felt my feet leave the floor as he carried me to the side of the bed, lying me down. His mouth traced the edge of my jaw and the length of my neck. He pulled away, letting his breath flow over my skin in warm waves, then said, “Are you sure this is what you want?” 

“Yes.”

He pulled me into a sitting position as the light from another flash of lightning shone on his face. He was human again. 

“Why change back?”

“I don’t know.
I suppose it’s because I don’t want to overwhelm you
.”

I let my underdress fall off my shoulders to my waist. His eyes took me in, pausing on my scar ridden torso. I moved to cover myself but he placed his hands on mine, moving them so his hand could trace the scars. I grabbed ahold of them when they started shaking.

“They're just scars, Marren. Faded memories of a past I'm leaving behind.” My words came out calm and even, which was a surprise to me considering I was more nervous and unsure of myself than ever. His shaking subsided as our eyes met. “I promised to never run away from you. I owe you my life.”

“It will hurt,” he warned.

“No more than it would if you turned me away.”

He pulled off his shirt, tossing it to the floor then started kissing me again. I ran my fingers along the length of his back following the waves of muscle. His body felt like fire and as hard as stone, yet when he touched me or kissed me, it was gentle and subtle—like the touch of a feather. He breathed into my ear, “I have to bite you. I'll try to be as gentle as possible. But, I won't know if you’re hurting unless you tell me.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

He faced me. “You have to tell me if it hurts. I don't want to hurt you.”

“I don't think that's possible,” I said and pressed my lips to his, finding his kiss very addictive and that no amount would satiate me. Then a small fear crept into my mind.
What if I'm not enough? What if he's had better?
I pulled away from him. He looked at me with pursed brows, and was so still it was like he was afraid to move.

“Have you done this to anyone else?” I whispered to prevent my voice from shaking.

“Werewolves are just like regular wolves.”

I shook my head not understanding.

“We only fall in love once. You're my heart song, Relena. I've waited countless years for you. I'm never going to let you go nor could I ever turn you away.” His lips found mine as the weight of his body forced me on my back.

As he removed the rest of our clothing, his words rang in my head with a meaning I didn’t yet comprehend.
You’re my heart song, Relena…I could never turn you away.

When he entered me, it hurt and yet was the best feeling in the world. I clawed him as a small moan escaped me, making him push harder into me. Everything within me pooled at my center. I craved release.
Needed it.
  He brought me to a heightened level of pleasure I never knew was possible.  The way we moved was like a dance.
A constant rhythm and movement with our hands everywhere.
Then he pulled me into his lap.  I wrapped my legs and arms around him. He lifted my hair from my neck and shoulders and kissed the skin there.

“Forever,” he breathed into my neck. The warmth forced me to fight a shiver.

“Forever,” I promised. 

He kissed my neck a few more times and inhaled deeply before biting into my skin. The pain was so intense I scratched him, causing him to bite harder and the pain to increase. I cried out and gripped his shoulders from under his arms and waited for the pain to subside.

“Are you okay?” he asked in a shaky whisper.

“I'm perfect,” I said.

He chuckled,
then
resumed kissing me and making love once more.

***

The sun started to lighten the sky outside my room, the light filtered in lazily as a breeze caused the curtains to dance along the floor.  I studied the contrast in skin tones between our arms. His pinned me against his torso and refused to let me budge at all since falling asleep. I had different emotions ranging from pure elation, contentment, and apprehensiveness swirling within me. The elation was due to finally feeling like I was where I belonged. Content, because I wouldn't mind if I never left this bed for the next hundred years. And apprehension because I was scared about the changes that were taking place in my body and worried about the company that had Marren on edge.

I started tracing the length of his arm with my finger, moving along the creases of his hands and over the bumps of his knuckles. He squeezed me tighter, pulling his other arm around me from under my neck and then kissing my shoulder. I felt my body's excitement grow with his touch. So easily he had me willing to give myself to him again.
All with just a tiny touch.

I rolled over to face him, draping my arm over his side and satisfying my craving for his kiss. He chuckled again and it forced me to pause and feel the way that my heart danced. “I don't know if I will ever get used to that.”

“I hope not,” he said.

“You know what I’m feeling?”

He smiled.  “Yes. It's what happens when my kind finds the person they were meant to be with. Their heart dances when they hear their love’s laughter.”

“Does yours do it too?” I asked anxiously.

“Yes. But it also cries when you're in great emotional pain.” His eyes darkened and I realized then that his thumb was grazing the top of a scar.

“How long have you felt this?”

“
Since the day you
breathed your first breath.”

“That must have been miserable for you.”

“Only because I couldn't comfort you.
It's all I wanted to do, but you had it in your mind that I was nothing but a
dissident seducer
—I believe that was the term you used.” He squeezed me, holding me close to him while he rolled onto his back. “How did you sleep?”

“I slept like last night had to have been, by far, the best night of my existence.”

“It was for me too. I've been waiting for this for a while. How badly did I hurt you?”

“You didn't...not really. How badly did I scratch you?”

“You didn't. They're already healed.” He smiled at me.

“Well, at least I know I will always have your smile if the sun dies. And if we’re keeping track, you did seduce me.”

“Gvgeyu, waya uwoduhi.”
The words flowed effortlessly off his tongue as he moved my hair to my back.

I smiled, enchanted by his words. “What does that mean?”

“It's the language of the therianthropes and means something like I love you, but much deeper than the human connotation.”

“It's...very beautiful. And A'lainn means beautiful?”

“No.”

I looked at him. Confused, I said,   “Enid told me—”

“Enid's native language is different from mine.”

“Isn't he a werewolf also?”

“Everyone under this roof is, or will be as soon as you complete the change.”

“When will that be?”

“On the first night of the blue moon, because that is when the pull of energy is the strongest, which can mean waiting quite some time before it happens but then it's much
more intense
and unexpected. After the first time, you will be able to change every night except during dark nights.”

“When is the next blue moon?” My voice cracked leading on to my fear.

“Officially, we are already in it so I don't know when you will change. You won’t be alone; I’ll be here with you.  Meanwhile, we have training to do.”

He rolled me onto my back again. A giggle burst out of me. His lips brushed my neck, moving slowly towards my mouth leaving kisses every so often. His hands clung to mine, pinning them to the bed on either side of my head. Fire filled my veins again as my body anxiously anticipated him. All this dissolved the instant a knock filled the room.