Heart & Seoul (6 page)

I had the camera positioned as he looked
through it. There were so many documents that this would take some
time to go through thoroughly. Drake thumbed through it quickly.
Almost like he was looking for something in particular. He stopped
on a paper, and I knew he was.

It was information about his mother.

His social worker was right. There wasn’t
much there. They had her name of course, and then a short
description of her. She was five foot two and an hundred and five
pounds. She was so small. The information stated the description
was estimated, though. It must have been written by people from the
agency when she came in.

In the next section of the document, there
was an area for information about the birth father, but this was
completely blank. I knew immediately when Drake saw that section
because his face fell. He’d have to find out about him through
her.

To my surprise, the next area showed where
she lived at the time of dropping him off. I couldn’t believe she
actually filled that part out. I touched his shoulder. “Drake, you
know where she lived. That could really help.”

True this information was almost twenty
years old, but that was definitely a step in the right
direction.

Drake flashed me a smile that read only hope
before he flipped the paper over, but that expression faded away
the moment the document was turned over.

By what I read, I knew why.

The section gave details about Drake’s
birth. More specifically the reason Drake’s mother put him up for
adoption. There were only five words, but they were enough to shoot
an intense tremor into my heart, and they were also responsible for
the look of horror currently displayed on my fiancé’s handsome
face.

Reason for Relinquishment: Natural mother
victim of rape.

Chapter Eight

Drake placed his cellphone face up on the
desk in our hotel room. After swiping his finger across the front,
he hovered his fingers over the keys. “Go ahead and turn the camera
on, Lacey,” he said, not looking up at me.

Sitting on the couch next to the desk, I
held the camera in my hand, unsure of what to do. Drake hadn’t said
anything since we left the agency. He told Hana that he needed a
day to process everything; that he just needed a bit of time before
he pushed searching for his birth mom. She told him fine, and we
left. Those were the last words I heard him say until now. I
watched television with him most of the day. We sat in silence,
studying actors on the screen neither one of us could understand. I
offered to turn on the subtitles, but he simply shook his head. I
never bothered him about it again. I ordered dinner for him, but
his portion went cold. I couldn’t eat mine after that and mine went
cold as well. Out of nowhere, he stood and went to the desk, his
phone in hand. Now, he was asking me to record. I didn’t know if I
should.

“What are you doing?” I dared to ask him,
fingering the record button nervously.

He stared at the phone, a blankness behind
his eyes. “I’m going to call my mom. Tell her everything.”

I gripped the camera. “Do you think that
should be private?”

Turning just his head, he faced me, an
urgency in his gaze. “We said we would get everything, right?”

Despite my reservations, I nodded. After
placing the camera on the desk, I hit record.

The camera captured it all. The few seconds
he took before he was ready to dial, the ring that shouldn’t sound
as loud as it had in the silent hotel suite, and the eons it felt
like it took to hear his mom’s voice. It got it all.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Mrs. Drake’s voice
sounded into the room.

Drake took a second before he answered.
Maybe he wasn’t as ready as he thought. It was too late now,
though. She was on the phone. “Hi, Mom. Lacey’s here too. I have
you on speaker.”

“Hi, Lacey,” she said, her voice so genuine
about her greeting.

My lips lifted into a small smile. “Hey,
Madeline. Don’t let me bother you guys. I’m just sitting here.”

Despite the fact that I was on the line, I
didn’t want to impose myself. I’d stay quiet while they talked.

“Oh, okay. Well, how are things, dear?” Mrs.
Drake asked. I assumed she was referring to Drake. “You went to the
agency today, right? What did they say?”

She got right down to business, and I was
sure if she’d known what she was in for she wouldn’t have been so
quick to inquire.

Drake’s jaw worked a bit, and he swallowed
before he spoke. “Yeah, I went, and I found out some information I
wanted to tell you. Something I wanted to talk to you about.”

The line went silent for a moment.

“
All right.” Her voice
wasn’t nearly as cheery as before. She must have known something
wasn’t right by his tone when he spoke.

Drake propped his cheek on his hand, not
lifting his gaze from the phone like his mother was actually there
in front of him. “My social worker gave me lots of information we
didn’t have in our files. I know my birth mother’s name, and where
she was from.”

“
Oh, that’s great,
Truman.” Her voice sounded a bit relieved. “Anything about your
birth father?”

At the words of his father, Drake closed his
eyes. How much heartbreak could a person be given in their lifetime
before they shattered? If it wasn’t bad enough he didn’t have the
love he wished he had from his adopted father… Now he had this new
blow. This new terror brought about his life.

He came right out and said it. “My mother
was raped, Mom. I don’t know anything about my father.”

Again, the line was silent.

Opening his eyes, Drake spoke before his
mother could. “Did you know?”

“Oh, Truman,” she whispered. “Truman, of
course not. Oh, sweetheart…” When her voice broke off, I knew she
was taking a moment. “I’m so sorry. That’s what the agency told
you?”

He nodded like she could see. His nostrils
flared, his tan cheeks flushed. “The documents they had said that
was the reason for her ‘relinquishment.’”

That final word came out laced with such
heartache and strain that I reached over to touch him. He breathed
in, my hand on his back.

“
How did you not know?” he
whispered into the line.

“
The agency never told us,
dear. The only reason they stated was your birth mother was unable
to care for you due to adverse circumstances. Those were their
exact words.”

His eyebrows narrowed at that. “Why would
they tell you that and not the truth?”

“
I can only gather they
feared that information might hinder a potential
adoption.”

I shook my head.
God
…

“
Would it have?” he asked,
his voice came out cracked. So silent.

I squeezed his shoulder, fighting so hard to
stay in my seat and let him talk to her when all I wanted to do was
hang up the phone and hold him forever.

“
Of course not, sweetie.
Of course not.”

Mrs. Drake words, though I knew were one
hundred percent genuine, were unfortunately a moot point. She was
speaking about something that never happened. A scenario that
didn’t exist no matter what she said now. The fact of the matter
was, almost twenty years ago, she didn’t know that baby that came
off the plane for her and her husband. If she hadn’t met Drake, if
she hadn’t held him in her arms, would things have been different?
Would they have? Or would he have been just another face among
many?

Drake’s eyes held many thoughts behind them
as he stared at the phone, listening while his mother continued to
assure him with a soothing voice. I’d bet money that some of his
thoughts were the same as mine. He was questioning his want, how
much he was really wanted, and I ached for him.

After minutes of his mom speaking with only
a few words from her son in response, Mrs. Drake finally allowed
the call to end. “I love you, sweetheart. So much. If you need to
come home please do. Don’t do anything you’re not ready for. Please
call me if you need anything, honey. Don’t hesitate. I’m here for
you, darling.”

“
All right, Mom,” Drake
said, his voice struggling out. His voice shook like he was more
than ready to end this call. Like he had to before he broke. “I
love you too. I’m going to let you go now, okay?”

“
Okay. Goodbye, sweetie.
Goodbye, Lacey.”

I swallowed, realizing my mouth had dried.
“Bye, Madeline.”

Drake touched his
cellphone screen, ending the call, then sat with his hand
hovering
over the phone in silence. My
hand was still on his shoulder, but I didn’t dare move it. I simply
stared at him, willing him to look up. He wouldn’t acknowledge me,
though. In the end, my hand slid from him when he got
up.

He retrieved the large expanding folder that
changed his life from the coffee table. Without words, he placed it
on the desk and studied its contents.

I sat back, wanting to say something, but I
couldn’t form words. The last thing I felt he should be doing was
looking at those. Intentionally giving himself more heartache. He
should be relaxing, allowing his mind some ease with a break. I
decided against using words to express what I felt.

I didn’t speak either when I got up from the
couch. I went into the marble bathroom, drawing a warm bath. A
large bottle of shimmering bubble bath rested on the edge of the
tub. I added it and the soft notes of amber and honey-suckle filled
my nose from the rushing waters that filled the tub.

The bubbles rolled, multiplying until the
tub was consumed by them. I shut off the water, then found a silky
white robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door. I switched out
my clothes for it, my body completely naked underneath.

When I made it back into the sitting room of
the suite, Drake was exactly where I left him. I wasn’t quiet when
I came out, but he didn’t look up.

I made it over and stood behind him. My
heart beat rapidly. I feared he wouldn’t respond to me, but I tried
anyway. “I ran a bath for you, Drake.”

He didn’t lift his head, sighing. “Thanks,
Lace, but you can take it. I got to look these things over. I
really appreciate it, though. That was very nice of you.”

I gripped the closure of
my robe. No. No, he didn’t need to look the papers over. Not right
now. They could wait. They weren’t what he needed right now. He
needed a break. He needed…
me.

Silently, I made it to his side and shut the
camera closed beside him.

Following my hand, he gazed up at me. His
eyes moved, his lips parted as he appraised my body. His intense
stare blazed a layer of heat over my skin. He was analyzing what
was presented here for him. What was his and always would be.

And I was about to let him know just that.
That I was his.

“
I’ll only take it if you
join me,” I whispered.

I undid the robe’s belt. Drake’s gaze
followed when I placed my hands on the two sections closing my
robe, and he drew in a sharp breath as I parted them.

Sliding my hands down my body, I opened the
robe just enough to expose the flesh between the valley of my
breasts. This also revealed my mound to him, and my legs shook at
the activity tingling between my thighs. I could feel myself
dripping for him already. My body needed his. Craved his.

The anticipation for Drake’s touch was
killing me, and I was unsure if he even would. He was so upset by
what happened today. Fortunately, he didn’t make me wait long for
his acceptance.

He pushed his hands into my robe at the
waist. His touch was like hot lava, burning me and marking me.

He pulled me closer, corralling me between
his legs. He didn’t open my robe anymore, but simply rested his
forehead against my belly. His warm breath moved over my skin, and
I closed my eyes, running my fingers through his wonderfully thick
hair. He let me hold him this way for a long time, then suddenly
his lips were on my stomach, kissing softly.

I gasped in a breath, and I was pulled onto
his waist, straddling his legs between my thighs. His hand pushed
up my tummy and part of the robe was smoothed away from my breast.
Without words, his drew my nipple into his mouth, suckling
earnestly.

I whimpered, wriggling on his lap. He
squeezed my breast while he sucked, warming my nipple ring in his
mouth. I wanted him to put his hands on me below, push his fingers
inside me to make me come, but he didn’t.

My thighs were grabbed with his large hands,
and my breast popped from his mouth when he lifted his head. He
licked his full lips of my taste, then raised me up in his
arms.

I secured my arms around his neck and was
taken to the bathroom. It was so warm in there, the heat trapped
from the bath in the room.