Heart on the Run (28 page)

Chaz climbed on the bed and crawled over to him, his dick swinging between his legs, mocking Sprocket, reminding him of all the things he wanted but wouldn’t get because Sprocket wasn’t stupid, he knew how this would end…again.

But right now none of that mattered; he was gonna be balls deep in Chaz and that was all he concentrated on.

“
Stretch yourself.” He tossed the open tube of lube over.

“
Don’t want to. Want to feel the burn,” Chaz whispered, straddling Sprocket’s hips, reaching behind him and grabbing the base of Sprocket’s cock and pointing it toward his ass.

Sprocket moaned. Fucking hell, this man was sex incarnate. “Yeah…do it…”

Chaz didn’t need any more encouragement. He arched his back and lowered himself on Sprocket in one fluid movement, not stopping until he ground his ass on Sprocket’s lap.

Sprocket hissed with intense pleasure. This was what he needed, the endorphins shooting through his body better than any painkiller he could take. Sure, they would also help him push himself too hard, and he’d be sore afterward, but that didn’t stop him from thrusting up in Chaz’s channel every time the man pushed back down.

Again, they didn’t need to talk, didn’t need to adjust themselves or guide the other man. They were completely in tune with each other. Sprocket knew when Chaz started grunting, his neck and chest flushing a deep red, that he was close. He took the cue and grabbed Chaz’s cock, stroking it in rhythm with their thrusts, swiping and pinching the bulbous head with every upstroke.

He stared at his lover while Chaz’s eyes widened, his nostrils flared, and he shouted Sprocket’s name before jet after creamy jet of cum shot from his slit, coating Sprocket’s chest and hand.

He quickly let go of Chaz’s dick and grabbed his hips, bringing them back down with such force that he roared in a mixture of pain and pleasure as his dick swelled and erupted in an intense orgasm.

They stayed in that frozen position staring at each other, each one trying to catch their breath…and perhaps their minds also.

When Chaz finally broke the connection and looked away, Sprocket knew it was time to let him go…for good. Maybe it was the pain that slowly replaced the pleasure in his body, but he was determined not to let Chaz run this time. He wouldn’t be on the receiving end of the fuck off…not today.

When Chaz climbed off him and the bed, immediately going for his pants on the floor, Sprocket took the opportunity to ease them both out of this without any hard feelings.

He took care of the condom, dropping it on the floor by the bed before clearing his throat. “I know…I know neither one of us is looking for anything permanent,” he started, trying hard to keep his voice even, “but this…this thing between us shouldn’t end our friendship. You know…sometimes sex is just that…sex…” God, did he always stumble over his words this badly?

Chaz looked up at him as he fastened his pants. “Um…yeah, sure. Friendship…that’s what I always wanted from you. Just friendship.” He dropped his head as he reached for his shoes.

Sprocket nodded, knowing he was right with his decision. This way neither of them had to feel slighted, they could just go about their lives and maybe one day Sprocket could share a lunch with him in the gazebo again…and it wouldn’t hurt.

Chapter Twenty-One

“
You know what?” Chaz finished buttoning his pants and eyed Sprocket. “You’re as big a fucking idiot as I am.”

“
I beg to differ.”

Chaz snorted. “Beg? That’ll be… The. Fucking. Day.”

Sprocket’s eyes narrowed, and he sat up on the bed, wincing as the movement pulled on the stitches. “Fuck you.”

A warm glow enveloped Chaz. “Yes. Thank you. You’re kind of amazingly perfect for me in that department.” He caught his breath and rushed on. “And in every department. Sprocket… What the hell is your name, anyway?”

Brown eyes narrowed. “You think knowing my name is going to give you power? Going to turn sex into something else, like a magic spell?”

“
No.” In for a penny…might as well go all the way. “I just thought that when I tell you that I love you, for the first time at least, I ought to be telling you with your real name, not the nickname you’ve been hiding behind since you were a little kid.”

“
I’m not hiding. Sprocket is the real me. Giovanni is just what my mom called me before she got to know the real me.” His arms crossed protectively over his abused midsection.

“
Fine. I told Mason to tell you in the hospital that we needed to talk.” And, from Sprocket’s expression, that message apparently had never gotten delivered. “I didn’t mean right then. I meant later.” And now was later, wasn’t it? For just a minute, he considered sticking to his Christmas Day plan, but changed his mind.

“
The pecan pie tarts were good. And how’d you get the pumpkin truffles to…” Sprocket stopped talking and glared.

“
I’m glad you like them. Dermot told me to channel my feelings into the food, because I was pretty freaked out about what happened to you, Sprocket.” And he had been following that very good advice ever since. “Talking isn’t something I’m good at. And I think you kind of suck at it too.”

“
You suck better than I do.” Sprocket thrust out his lower lip in a pout.

“
I think you mean more, and I agree on both counts.” Abandoning his idea to reheat the meal he’d brought, Chaz resolved to have the discussion they’d never had… “My father died when I was eight. He was forty-two. My grandfather died when he was forty-three. My grandmother died at sixty-one.”

“
I’m sorry.” The grudging sympathy made Chaz laugh. Did Sprocket really think he couldn’t see the concern, the tenderness under the gruff exterior he was trying to maintain at this moment?

“
It was a long time ago. But thank you.” And this was where it got into the realm of excuses. “I… My people are not long-lived, Sprocket. I’m twenty-six. If I live to be forty-three… I want something to show for my time on earth that is not a weeping widow and child.”

“
You’re not sick,” Sprocket said flatly, dropping his protective pose to clench two fists in the rumpled sheets. “Because that would be a total asshole move, Chaz.”

“
I’m not sick,” Chaz agreed, moving to sit on the bed. Sprocket’s eyes followed his movements, his nostrils flared but he didn’t protest. “Unless stupid is a sickness.”

“
I think it’s highly contagious, if it is.” Sprocket leaned forward, so close that Chaz could smell…them. “Because I might have caught it from you.”

“
I love you. I should have told you that a year ago instead of running. It wasn’t me I was running to protect, Sprocket. It was you. I couldn’t stand the idea of you standing by my grave someday, wondering why we didn’t have longer. And then, when you got hurt…I realized. We get as long as we get, and we should make the most of that time, treat it as a gift, not a burden. I want to be with you, Sprocket, not to save you from pain, or even to save me from pain, because I think that’s unavoidable. I want to be with you to share the gift we have.”

“
Oh yeah? What gift is that?”

“
I love you, Giovanni. Every minute we spend together is a gift for me. I’m through running away. The only running I’m going to be doing is to you, not from you.”

“
Dandy.” Sprocket scooted backward rapidly. “That’s just spiffy. And what about last month? You ran out of here like you’d never heard of two people losing their virginity together before.”

“
You know what? This is where you’re the stupid one.”

Sprocket snorted. “Oh goody, we’re getting around to name-calling. This argument must be just about over.”

“
If you were in my bed, jacking off, and some friend of mine that you didn’t know all that well strolled in buck assed naked, you’d freak out too.”

“
I’ve known Mason my whole life.”

“
Yes, crystal clear on that point. Kindergarten buddies, first kiss, first orgasm, yada yada. Well, I didn’t know him all that well, and I was dealing with the idea of trying to make a relationship between us work. Mason was the icing on the cake.” Naked, over confident, swaggering icing at that. “Like really sweet, bright green frosting.”

“
He’ll love that. And look? Problem solved. No relationship to work out.”

“
I don’t accept that.” Chaz bit his lip and made the biggest gamble of the day. “I think you feel something for me too. And I think that you could be a little more understanding of my perspective on what happened with Mason.”

“
You left. Again.” Sprocket pointed out in that hard, emotionless voice that Chaz recognized.

“
I did. But this time…I came back.” He nodded to underline his point. “I will always come back, Sprocket. But you know…it would be good if you…uh…maybe…um…” Good god, he was blushing again and he didn’t know where to look. Something told him that this should have been easier…but Sprocket was so unyielding. He’d made his mind up, and nothing, not even declarations of love had softened his stance. “Didn’t let me run so far.”

Sprocket’s eyes widened, his nostrils flared again and he dragged the sheets into his lap. “This is my fault?”

“
No. What went before… I accept the blame. I ran. I run, but you hide, Sprocket. Behind short affairs and friendships with benefits, and a roommate who doesn’t mind warming your bed. You aren’t perfect or an angel or innocent. But you know who you are and what you want, and…”

“
Thanks, I think,” Sprocket muttered, barking a short laugh. “So…you want me to stop hiding and you’ll stop running and we’ll all live happily ever after?”

“
You can…help me. Figure out the boundaries, how far I can run without hurting you…”

“
About the end of the bed.” Sprocket rubbed his hands through his hair and huffed in frustration. “It would be a lot easier if I had a fucking leash on you.”

“
You can put a leash on me. Metaphorically, I mean. Sprocket, will you marry me?”

***

“
You did not just ask me that.”

He did not just ask me that.

“
You seriously did not just ask me that…in the middle of a fight…while I’m sore and naked in bed and you’re dressed to haul ass again…” Sprocket raised his hand to rub his face and remembered how bruised that side was and lowered his hand again. True, the bruises were yellowed and fading now, but they were still there and pushing on them wouldn’t feel good.

“
Um…I kinda did,” Chaz admitted. “But I just told you I’m not running again. Jesus, don’t you listen?”

Sprocket raised his eyebrow, giving Chaz a droll look.

“
I mean it, Sprocket. I want to show you how serious I am about us and this relationship.” Chaz scooted closer on the bed.

“
I believe you,” Sprocket murmured. Fuck, he wasn’t a prude in any sense of the word, but he would really like to not be lying on the bed naked having this conversation. Damn Chaz for putting him in this situation.

With that thought in mind, he swung his legs over the other side of the bed—opposite where Chaz was—and stood, allowing the sheet to slide from his body. He walked to the bureau and snagged a fresh pair of forest green sweats and his faded Pantera concert tee from the second drawer down. He turned and faced Chaz as he carefully slid them on his body. “Marriage doesn’t solve problems. We have to work shit out before forever is even considered. I’m not even sure I want to get married. I’m only twenty-three, I still have to finish college, decide what I want to do with my life, and fuck, so many other things. I love working at Craft Time, but I don’t see that being a career for me. Sure, Shawna is good, she owns the place, and Xander may have the title of manager but he’s more like her partner than employee. I want more for myself than a management position in a craft store, but I don’t know what that more is, yet.”

Chaz dropped his gaze. “And you don’t know if you want me to be a part of that more, either?”