Heart of Winter (5 page)

Gerald was quoting figures on some real estate he'd acquired, and Winthrop was listening with barely half his mind. He was watching Nicky while he pared his steak and chewed it deliberately, trying not to let her know that he was watching her. She was wearing that gray jersey dress that clung so lovingly to her curves, and the memory of the effect she'd had on him in the barn wasn't doing his appetite any good.

He finally grew impatient with her downbent head and stopped eating and just stared at her intently while Gerald went on talking without realizing that he was talking to himself.

Nicole felt that intent stare and looked up into Winthrop's dark eyes. And her heart stopped beating.

Electricity danced between them. She couldn't drag her eyes from his, any more than his were willing to be tugged away. The look they exchanged was long and piercing and shattering in its intensity. It was as personal as a kiss, so steady and unblinking that she felt her body tremble in intimate response to his blatant interest.

His gaze held hers for a shuddering moment, and then it dropped to her mouth, and she felt her lips part helplessly for him.

“Winthrop, are you listening?” Gerald asked suddenly, breaking the silence when he discovered that his brother was apparently staring into space.

“What?” Winthrop turned back to him. “Something about real estate values?” he asked absently. He didn't like the way his body responded to that look in Nicole's eyes. He was going to have to do something. But what?

Nicole was having as difficult a time with her own body. She shifted restlessly and drank coffee that was, by now, hopelessly oversugared. While Winthrop's dark eyes had been openly making love to hers, she'd put six spoons of sugar in the black liquid. She took a sip and shuddered and left it in favor of the glass of water Mary had provided for each of them. So much for common sense. It was time to retreat.

For the next few days, she and Winthrop avoided each other—ignored each other—to the extent that everybody noticed, and Mary began asking gentle questions that Nicole smiled at and avoided answering. And that might have gone on for another week if she hadn't tripped on the steps coming in from a walk late one afternoon, to be caught by Winthrop in the gathering darkness.

He'd apparently just come in from the corral himself. He smelled of cattle and he needed a shave, but his arms in the sheepskin jacket felt strong and warm, and instead of pulling away like a sensible girl, Nicole had sighed and relaxed against his tall, strong body.

Winthrop muttered something, but he didn't push her away. His hard arms contracted, drawing her against him under the unbuttoned jacket, and he stood holding her in the dusky light, savoring her softness, his cheek against her dark hair.

It seemed so natural, somehow. So right. His eyes closed and all the reasons why he shouldn't allow her this close vanished. He didn't make a sound, and neither did she. The wind sang through the tall lodgepole pines, whispered through the aspen and maples, whipped her hair against her flushed cheek. She pressed closer with a tiny, inarticulate sound, too hungry for the contact to listen to the warning bells going off in her head. He was warm and strong, and it was sheer delight to be held by him. She felt her body tremble with exquisite pleasure.

“We could hurt each other badly,” he whispered in her ear, his voice deep and soft and slow. “You don't have the experience to understand the risk, and I can't be sure that I wouldn't take out old hurts on you, even though I wouldn't do it consciously. This is crazy.”

“Yes.”

He nuzzled his cheek against her hair. “I mean it, Nicky.”

She sighed, reluctantly drawing away from him. She looked up, curious, excited. “Afraid of me, cattle baron?” she asked softly.

“In a way,” he agreed unexpectedly, but he wasn't smiling. He touched her cheek with the back of his fingers in a soft caress. “I don't like to start things I can't finish.”

“Meaning?” she persisted. If it was digging her own emotional grave, she couldn't help it. She had to know.

He stared into her eyes for just a second, and then drew back, physically and emotionally. “You'll figure it out. Don't wander out of the yard when you go walking. One of the men thinks he spotted a wolf today. I don't want anything to happen to you, little Eastern girl. I may never be your lover, but I'll take care of you, all the same, while you're here.”

And with that surprising statement, he turned and walked off. Nicole stared after him with eyes that brimmed with unshed tears. He was very protective of her, and she wondered if he realized it. He wasn't saying what he felt, but she knew instinctively that he shared some of the warm feeling that was growing inside her. But whether he'd ever give in to it was anyone's guess. As for Nicole, it had shocked her to realize that she had none of her usual defenses when he was near her. And that realization kept her quiet all through supper and beyond bedtime. What an unexpectedly complicated thing this vacation of her boss's had become. She hoped that she was going to be able to cope with the new and disturbing feelings that Winthrop had unearthed in her.

Life sailed into a pleasant routine after that. She and Gerald settled down to work, and Nicole spent her free time exploring outdoors or watching Mary in the kitchen. Winthrop was pleasant enough, but he kept things cool, although from time to time she found those dark, quiet eyes watching her in a way that excited her beyond bearing.

Two days later, she heard cattle bawling and excited male voices, and she succumbed to the need to see Winthrop. The cattle were massed at a makeshift corral just away from the barn and the stables, and Winthrop was on his horse, helping to drive cattle into a holding pen where they were apparently being vetted and vaccinated and examined and treated for diseases or infestation by grubs.

That weak leg didn't seem to bother the big man one bit on horseback. He could cut and rope with the best of them, and the wilder the horse, the better he seemed to enjoy himself. He laughed deeply and with obvious pleasure the whole time. She imagined that when he was in the saddle he could forget how ungraceful he was on the ground.

Not that a limp made him any less a man. He bristled with masculine sensuality. She could see quite easily how he'd gained a reputation in his youth as a playboy. He was devastating physically, and he had a voice that even in memory could make her flush with pleasure. Her heart hadn't been the same since that unexpected embrace on the porch. She could close her eyes and hear his voice all over again, as it had been that evening, and she could almost imagine it in a dark room, coaxing, deliberately seductive….

Warmth coursed through her and she forced herself to watch the men and the cattle. Winthrop had climbed off the horse to help catch a calf, apparently one that needed doctoring. He looped his rope and undid it, lazily coiling it while one of the other cowboys threw the calf and began to do something to it. Winthrop was rubbing his leg, and the limp was even more pronounced when he turned, leading his horse by the reins.

He saw Nicole at the fence, and he stood very still for an instant. She could feel his anger even at the distance, and made a discreet and quick withdrawal. He was headed in her direction, so she changed it and walked quickly into the forest that encircled the house.

Why she should have been embarrassed, she didn't know. But she knew he was angry, even before he caught up with her minutes later.

She stopped, catching her breath. He was right behind her, still leading the horse. As he walked, he favored that right leg.

“Running away?” he taunted. “Why?”

She stared at him. It was silly to be so ill at ease with him, but his expression wasn't at all welcoming. “I don't know,” she said quietly. She was wearing jeans and a long-sleeved yellow sweater. He had on a shirt the same shade of yellow and brown as his jeans, and she thought illogically how well they matched.

He lifted his dark head. “Don't you? What are you doing—spying? Did you want to see if the cripple could still throw a calf?”

She went forward without thinking and put her soft hand over his mouth. “Don't,” she said softly. “Don't do that to yourself. You're not a cripple. You're a man with a limp.”

The feel of her fingers shocked him. The gesture was unexpected and it threw him off balance. He caught her smooth hand, holding it near his cheek as if he couldn't quite decide what to do with it.

He stood over her, breathing roughly, his eyes dark with pain and anger as they searched hers. His fingers contracted absently around hers, bruising a little, but she didn't protest.

“I don't want you here,” he said quietly, his eyes narrow, piercing.

“Yes, I know.” She moved her fingers experimentally, and he let them go. She touched his cheek, tracing the long scar down his jaw, into the dimple in his chin. It was incredible how secure she felt with him, and not the least bit afraid. She sensed something in him, something vulnerable and tender, and she wanted to reach it. She needed to reach it, although she didn't understand why. “You don't talk about it, do you? Not ever.”

His broad chest rose and fell. He was very close. Too close. She could feel the muscles ripple when he moved, feel him breathing, feel the warmth of him in the chill air.

His fingers slid into her hair, hesitantly, feeling the curls as he moved his hands to her nape and turned her head up with firm gentleness.

“It's been one hell of a long time since I kissed a woman,” he said half under his breath, looking down at her coldly. “Don't you realize that you've been inviting that for days? I'm not a boy, and I've gone hungry in recent years. I can't play games, I even told you so. You could start something that would ruin both our lives.”

She let him pull her head back. She looked up at him unafraid, her eyes soft with understanding and compassion. “I'm not afraid of you,” she said softly.

“I could make you afraid, Nicole.”

His voice was velvety soft and deep. Her lips parted, because it was as sensuous as she'd imagined it would be. She liked being close to him. She wanted his mouth and her lips parted in subtle invitation. She might have imagined herself in love with Chase James, but never in her life had she felt anything as sweet as this.

He looked down at her soft mouth, seeing it open, and something in him snapped. He bent quickly, covering it with his hard lips. He wanted to hurt her. She was a child, playing at sensuality, and he wanted to make it so rough that she'd stop tormenting him with emotions he never wanted to feel again….

She yielded completely, no thought of fighting him. His mouth was hard, warm and tasted of tobacco and it was only then that she realized how expert he really was. He made no allowances for her youth, and despite her small experience with Chase, this was her first real taste of passion. It was devastating, this helpless feeling he caused in her. She sighed hungrily, letting him draw her completely against the powerful hard length of his body, letting him crush her against it. Her mouth yielded eagerly to his insistent lips, tasting the tobacco tartness of his tongue as it pushed into her mouth, penetrating her in a silence that blazed with kindling sensations.

Her hands grasped his shirtsleeves, holding on, because her knees were getting weak. His arm at her back arched her, the hand at her nape tangled in her curly hair. He made a sound deep in his throat and lifted his head, his eyes black and blazing as they probed her dazed ones.

“Aren't you going to fight me?” he taunted with a faint, mocking smile as his mouth poised over hers.

“No.” She reached up, sliding her arms around his neck. Her mouth was soft, parted and waiting, tempting his. “Oh, no, I want it, too!”

“Nicky…”

It was a groan, her name on his lips. He bent, half lifting her up to him. But this time, he didn't try to hurt her. This time, he was achingly gentle. His hard mouth slowed and softened on hers, and he kissed her with a subdued passion that aroused all her protective instincts. Poor, tormented man, she thought. So much love in him, all wasted on the wrong woman. And now he was driven to hurt back, out of fear that it was going to happen again. But it wasn't, she thought, her heart blazing with compassion. It wasn't, because she'd never hurt him.

She closed her arms tight around his neck and opened her mouth for him, drawing it over his as she was learning he liked it. Her tongue teased at his full lower lip and he made a sound that corresponded with the tautening of his body.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered against his lips. “I don't…know much about this. I'm sorry if I did it wrong.”

He lifted his head again. He was breathing roughly, and his eyes had a haunted look. The hand in her hair caressed gently. “You really are a virgin, aren't you?” he murmured with a tenderness he wasn't aware of.

“I guess it shows,” she whispered dryly. She looked down at his shirt, missing the sudden shocked delight in his eyes. “I haven't had a lot to do with men in the past few years.”

He brushed the curly hair away from her face, touching her with pure wonder. Yes, this was what he'd been uneasy about, this vulnerable side of her that attracted him. He'd tried so hard to avoid this confrontation. Ridiculous, really, when it was inevitable that he was going to feel her warmth in his arms, savor the soft nectar of her mouth. He'd known she was nearby, back at the corral. He'd sensed her somehow. “Why were you watching me?” he asked.