Heart of the Warrior (20 page)

Ari reached his car. As he opened the driver's side door, he
turned and looked at Sev. Confusion and pain crossed his features, and he
gasped for air, hesitating just long enough that Sev thought he might come back
inside. But he frowned and shook his head as if he was arguing with himself
then hurried and got behind the wheel.

"NO! Ari! God, don’t leave. I love you! I love you,
damn it!" The pain in his chest now radiated through his limbs and he fell
forward on the floor. "You’re my mate!" He yelled out the last right
before Ari shut his door and started the engine.

As Ari backed out of the driveway, Sev rolled onto his back
and cried out in pain. Then his eyes flew to the clock. It was almost time for
sunrise. Ari would never make it home in time.

"NOOO!"

As Ari hit the gas, he finally let his tears fall.

He was shocked more than angry. Well, no, he was angry, too.
And hurt. Sev should have told him what he was. Sev should have admitted up
front that he was half dreck instead of letting Ari assume he was a human mix.
What the hell? How had this happened? How had he gotten involved with someone
who was half dreck?

Fuck!

Tears streamed Ari’s face as he raced past the stop sign at
the end of Sev's street. No other cars were out this early, so it wasn't like
anyone was going to crash into him to jolt him back to his senses, even though
he was tempting fate to do just that.

He swiped the back of his hand over his eyes and cheeks to
wipe the tears away, but he still couldn’t see for shit through the blur.

Sev was a dreck? A goddamn dreck?! How the fuck? When? How?
Shit!

But as shocking as that was, what hurt Ari even more was
that Sev had lied to him. Well, maybe not lied, because they had never talked
about Sev's background. But damn it, Sev should have told him right from the
start he was half dreck. If he cared about him even just a little, he should
have told him.

The pain he had felt earlier in the evening returned, only
this time it was worse. Way worse. As in someone-kill-me worse. The piercing
ache gripped his chest so tightly he didn’t think he would be able to continue
breathing. Immediately, the pain lowered and lanced his stomach then spread
upward to squeeze his head as if it was in a giant fist. Then everything in his
melon went haywire like his shit was bouncing around inside his skull. He
imagined this was what it would feel like to have Shaquille O’Neal use his head
as a basketball.

Ari slammed on the brakes and opened his door, gasping for
air as he flopped out onto all fours in the middle of the street to dry heave a
whole lot of nothing but net as imaginary Shaq slam-dunked him. Fuck! What the
hell was happening to him? It wasn’t Sev’s blood making him feel this way.
Dreck blood couldn’t hurt vampires. And, besides, he had felt this pain earlier
after what had happened with Io back at AKM. True, this was way worse than how
he had felt after hurting Sev, but at the core, the pain was the same.

He rocked back and leaned against the side of his car while
he wrapped his arms around his torso to try and dampen the pain.

Sev, Sev, Sev. Sev was a dreck, or at least partially a
dreck. Why hadn't Sev told him? It hurt that Sev had kept it a secret from him.
Didn't he trust him? Couldn't Sev be honest with him? After he had poured out
his own secrets to Sev about his family and about himself, Sev hadn't been able
to do the same in return?

Fresh tears streamed his face, and he clamped a hand over
his chest and bent his head forward as he sobbed. It felt like his heart was
being torn apart. He was in love with the enemy. He was in love with the
goddamn enemy.

Suddenly, he stopped rocking himself as he realized what he
had just thought. Was he in love with Sev? He searched his heart, seeing the
truth that, yes, he was, wasn't he? And then he realized what Sev had yelled to
him just before he beat feet.
I love you, damn it! You’re my mate!
Sev’s
words echoed in Ari’s ears.

You’re my mate!

Ari blinked hard, replaying the memory yet again.

You’re my mate!

Sev had looked tortured as he cried out to Ari. Tortured and
in agony.

Ari hesitated and frowned, looking down. What was happening
here? Realization began to fully dawn on him, his face softening as his gaze
searched the shadows in disbelief, as if he could find something in the
darkness that would explain all that was happening.

He and Sev were in the grasp of the
suffering,
weren't they? Shit. The
suffering
was what Micah had gone through after
Jackson left him over two months ago. Before Micah had found Sam. The
suffering
was a condition that attacked a mated male when his mate either left him or
died. The mating bond didn't like to be severed once it selected a partner, and
the
suffering
was its way of lashing out when that occurred to ensure
the mated pair stayed together. But if he and Sev were experiencing the
suffering,
that would mean that they…oh God. They had mated each other.

Ari banged his head back against his car. God, he was
stupid. How could he have been so blind? The constant hard-on, the ever-present
need to have sex with Sev, the aches, the pains, the way his heart clenched
earlier when he had hurt Sev and Sev had been angry with him. Suddenly it all
made sense.

You're my mate!
Sev had said. Sev already knew. How
hadn't Ari seen it when apparently Sev had?

Because you were blinded by your fear of everyone finding
out you're gay, you dumbass.

Ari groaned. Fuuuuuuck. He was such an idiot. He had just
blown up and jumped to conclusions about Sev and how he should have told him
the truth about being dreck, and yet here Ari was, unable to do the same about
his homosexuality.

He pulled his knees up and stretched his arms out over them
and bowed his head in shame. What a hypocrite he was. Here he was holding Sev
to a standard he, himself, couldn't even live up to.

No wonder Sev hadn't told him about his dreck blood. He was
probably scared shitless at what kind of reaction he would get. Fear most
likely motivated Sev to keep the truth a secret. Fear of how he would be
treated. Fear of Ari's reaction. And wasn't that why Ari kept his own secrets
about being gay? Fear?

Yet Ari had just proven that Sev had reason to be concerned.
He had flown off the handle, accusing Sev of lying and withholding the truth.
And yet, Ari couldn't even tell his parents or Io the truth about himself.

He had fucked up. Badly.

There weren't many half-drecks who announced what they were,
and for good reason. Vampires who were discovered to have dreck blood ended up
being forsaken by both drecks and vampires. They were ostracized. Cast-outs
from both sides. Stuck in a no man's land where nobody wanted them. Hell, being
half dreck was way worse than being gay. It was a curse. No wonder Sev kept his
mouth shut.

"Idiot. I'm such an idiot!" Ari chastised himself.
He of all people should have understood Sev's concerns and fear. Ari, who felt
like a reject for his own reasons, should have appreciated the situation.
Wouldn't Ari want someone to cut him some slack and understand his reasons for
not disclosing his own truth? Wouldn't he want his parents, Io, and everyone
else to accept him and let him live his own life without fear of retaliation
and retribution? Didn't Sev deserve the same from him?

Yes, he did. And not just because it was becoming clear that
Sev was his life mate. Sev deserved it for the simple reason that he was a
person like everyone else.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid fuck." Ari chastised
himself again and flopped his head back, banging it against the side of the car
as he looked up at the sky.

The first light of dawn shone in the east and his skin
prickled. He had dallied too long. He would never make it home before sunrise.
But his house wasn’t where he wanted to be right now, anyway, was it? His home
– his real home – was back in the other direction. Going to where he lived
would only serve as torture, because he wouldn't be with the male he loved. He
wouldn't be with Severin. Yes, there was only one place he wanted to be, wasn't
there? Only one true home for him. Just one.

After jumping back into his car, he turned around and sped
back to Sev’s house. When he pulled into the driveway, he saw that Sev was
still lying on the floor in the foyer. The door was still open, and Sev's body
was curled on its side as he gripped himself tightly. He was shivering so
violently Ari could see it from his car.

Was he shaking from the cold early morning air or something
more biological? Was Sev locked into the misery of the
suffering
as Ari
had been just a few minutes ago, feeling the effects of their separation from
one another on a level beyond agony?

Ari stared at Sev, hurting inside for the pain he had caused
him. Damn, but that was his mate in there. Half-dreck or not, Sev was his mate,
goddamn it. Ari was still too stunned to really comprehend it.

He looked back at Sev, who didn’t seem aware that Ari had
returned. Shit, this was bad. Ari knew that all-too-well after what he had just
experienced. But once he had made the decision to return, the pain had dissipated
and his body had eased. It was just one more sign that he had, indeed, figured
out what was happening. He really had mated Severin. He had found the one he
had been made for – the one his soul had chosen above all others to fit
perfectly with. His mate. Severin. And Sev was hurting right now. It was Ari's
duty as his mate to make Sev's pain go away and take care of him.

Ari got out of his car and went inside then quietly closed
the door before kneeling down behind Sev’s shivering body. Sev was sobbing
uncontrollably, not even aware that Ari was there.

Tears formed in Ari’s eyes as he lifted his hand to his
mouth. God, how could he make this right? What had he done? He had caused Sev
to hurt like this. Ari's other half was in agony because of him. He wasn't
supposed to hurt his other half. This was the one person in the entire universe
Ari had been made to be with, and hurting him felt like a crime.

Ari had never thought this day would come. All the women he
had been with in hopes of finding his mate, and all along, his mate had been a
male. A sense of wonder and fascination swept over him, followed instantly by
love. Overwhelming, life-changing, I-need-him-in-my-life-or-I'll-die love.

"I love you, too," he finally said on a whisper,
placing his palm on Sev's shoulder. He needed Sev to look at him. He needed Sev
to see he wasn't mad, anymore, and that he understood.

Sev's head jerked around and he froze, searching Ari's face.

Ari bit back his own emotions. "I love you, too. You're
my mate, too, Sev." He bit the inside of his lip to keep from choking up.
"I'm so sorry for how I reacted."

Crystal blue eyes that sparkled with tears blinked several
times, almost as if Sev wanted to make sure Ari was really there. Then
suddenly, Sev lurched upright into a sitting position and reached for Ari and
pulled him in hard and held him so tightly it was if they shared the same body.

"You came back. Oh my God, you came back. I thought I'd
lost you."

Ari gripped Sev securely, fisting his hands into the back of
his shirt so that the fabric bunched up under his curled fingers. He wasn't
willing to let go of him now that he realized he had found his one true match.
"I'm so sorry. So goddamn sorry, Sev. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"And I never meant to lie to you." Sev buried his
face against Ari's neck.

"You didn't lie to me."

"But I never told you, which is the same thing. I
should have told you. I should have been honest."

"No." Ari pressed his cheek to the top of Sev's
head. "No, Sev. It's not your fault. I understand why you didn't say
anything. Me, of all people…I should have known better than to accuse you of
keeping secrets."

Sev pulled back, looking confused. "What do you
mean?"

Ari leaned forward, not wanting even this tiny distance
between them. "Well, look at me, Sev. I can't even admit to my own family
and my best friend that I'm gay. Who am I to judge you for not admitting you're
half dreck?" He shook his head. "The repercussions of that secret
getting out are way worse than if people find out I'm gay."

"You mean…" Sev's brow furrowed as if he wasn't
sure what Ari was saying. "You're okay with me being half dreck?"

Ari grinned and pulled Sev close again so that he could rest
his forehead against Sev's. He closed his eyes and breathed in Sev's clean,
masculine scent. This was all his now, wasn't it? This male in his arms and the
way he smelled and felt. Sev was all his. "Yes, Sev. God, yes. You're my
mate. My mate." He smiled as he repeated it, his whole face lifting as he
kept his eyes closed and just reveled in the moment. "My mate…God, you're
my mate." He sounded almost relieved.

"Yes, Ari." Sev kept his voice soft, almost as if
he, too, was savoring the moment. "We're mates." His hands skimmed
slowly down and up Ari's back. "I wasn't sure how long it would take before
you realized it."

"You could have told me." Ari opened his eyes and
looked into Sev's, their foreheads still pressed together.

"I wanted you to figure it out on your own, babe."

Babe. Ari loved Sev's nickname for him.

"Well, it took me a while, but I finally did."

They remained on the floor, holding each other, touching,
feeling, and enjoying the closeness.

"I was going to tell you, Ari." Pain edged Sev's
eyes. "I promise. I was going to tell you about my dreck bloodline. I just
didn't know how. And I was scared."

Ari nodded and took Sev's hand. "Tell me about it. I
know scared, Sev. Look at me. I'm scared shitless to come out to my parents.
And to Io. I had no right to accuse you of holding out on me. None. It kills me
that I hurt you. All I can do is beg forgiveness."