Heart of the Raven (7 page)

“I'd forgotten how beautiful it is,” he said finally, his voice hushed as they came to a spot that revealed a spectacular view of the city and bay.

She decided not to trespass on his reawakening by responding. They dropped down into the shopping district.

“How about an ice-cream sundae?” she asked.

He hesitated. “Okay.”

She didn't see a parking place close to the ice-cream
parlor, so she entered a public lot. Heath lifted the baby carrier out.

“Let's go watch the ferry come in,” he said, pointing toward the bay.

They leaned against a railing to await the boat as drifts of diesel fuel merged with the distinctive salty scent of the bay. After a few minutes commuters began to exit the ferry.

Cassie hadn't spent a lot of time in Sausalito. Even though she made a very good income, the properties were too expensive for her—or more than she was willing to pay. She knew the value of living off half her income and saving the rest, just in case. But she enjoyed the community, well-known for its art festival every Labor Day, even though she hadn't ever attended. Big crowds made her edgy.

“You're not very talkative,” Heath said into her musings.

“Just enjoying the evening.”

“You haven't even asked how I'm doing.”

She rested an elbow against the railing, eyeing him. “You're not exhibiting signs of imminent panic.”

“You'd be surprised. But three days ago I couldn't have done this much.”

“Don't give me any credit. This is all your own doing. And maybe Danny's.” She tucked Danny's blanket more closely around him as the breeze picked up. “Does it feel real yet?”

“Danny, you mean?”

She nodded.

“I'm afraid to let it feel real. What if Eva wants him back?”

Good. He
had
been thinking about it. “You can't hold back just because the situation may change.” She was as guilty of that as anyone. She'd learned to hold back every time she was placed with a new foster parent. She knew she wouldn't be there long. Why get attached? And it was easier for her foster parent to let go if Cassie didn't seem to care, either.

“Danny's mine,” Heath said, breaking into her thoughts. “But I know I might be facing a battle.”

Maybe he's yours.
Should she say that? Not now, she decided. Not at this critical moment. “Don't give up.”

He laid a hand against her shoulder, then lifted it to her cheek. “I won't.”

She stopped herself just before she leaned into him, wanting more, needing more. She turned toward the shops, breaking the physical contact with him. “I hear some hot fudge sauce calling my name.”

They kept their conversation light after that. No revelations. No dark questions. No reliving the past. Just a man, a woman and a baby, brought together under unusual circumstances but finding things in common.

“Do you want to drive back?” she asked when they reached her car after sunset.

“No. Thanks.”

Danny continued to sleep, Heath said nothing. The quiet soothed Cassie, and she ignored the feeling that it was just the calm before the storm.

H
eath jerked awake. He lay in his bed listening, but didn't hear anything. He glanced at the clock, noted it was almost midnight. Danny should be awake soon, wanting to eat. That must've been what woke Heath up.

He closed his eyes but couldn't get back to sleep, was surprised that he'd fallen asleep that early to begin with. His lack of sleep was catching up, he supposed.

He got out of bed and wandered to his window. A car was parked at the top of his driveway. A car that looked like—

He ran from the room and into Cassie's, noting her light was on, but she was sound asleep. “Cassie.” He didn't touch her, only said her name in a hurry, wanting to get back to his window.

“What?” She seemed instantly awake.

“There's a car in my driveway. It looks like Eva's.”

She tossed the blankets aside and jumped out of bed.

“You can see from my bedroom.”

“Why would I do that?” She grabbed her briefcase then jogged down the staircase ahead of him. “Did you see someone get out of the car?”

“No, but they had time to get out before I even saw the car.”

“I don't like that no one has rung the bell.” She peeked out the tall glass window next to the front door. “I don't see anyone. No, wait. Someone is in the car. Two people. I can see their silhouettes. Can't tell what gender they are.”

Heath looked over her shoulder. Cassie set her briefcase on the floor, opened it and pulled out her gun.

“What are you doing?”

“Being prepared.”

“What if it's teenagers making out?”

“Then I won't shoot.” She turned and grinned at him. “I know what I'm doing.”

They watched for a while longer. Sure enough, the pair inside the car kissed. Then the car doors opened.

“Oh, no,” Heath said.

“What? Do you know them?'

“Yeah.” He sighed and opened the front door, flipped on the porch light.

“Earthie!”

He closed his eyes at the sound of his mother's voice. She came flying across the yard and straight into his arms. She wore— He didn't know what the hell she was wearing. One of her usual hippie, throwback, long dresses and sandals, her long gray hair loose and frizzy.
His father loped along behind her, his smile broad, his own gray hair pulled into a ponytail.

Heath patted his mother's back, then released her to hug his father.

“Where's my grandson?”

“Asleep, Mom.” Danny started to cry. “Well, he was. It's feeding time. Why didn't you call?”

“We wanted to surprise you. My goodness, he's got a healthy set of lungs.”

“He lets us know when he's hungry,” Heath said. “This is Cassie Miranda. She's a friend of mine. Cassie, these are my parents, Crystal and Journey Raven.”

He was glad he'd told her their names already. She didn't cringe at all. Or laugh.

“It's very nice to meet you,” Cassie said.

Cassie dwarfed his mother, who was just shy of five feet tall, his father a foot taller.

“You can go get him, if you want, Mom,” Heath said, ending the polite chitchat that usually accompanied introductions.

His mother followed the sound, staking her claim to the baby. His father had a hand on her shoulder, touching, as always. Heath had never seen a couple touch each other as much as his parents did.

Cassie mouthed, “Earthie?” to him as they fell in step behind his parents.

He shrugged. She elbowed him in the ribs, making him smile.

“There's a story there,” she said.

“Not a big one. Earth Heathcliff Raven. That's my full name.”

“Say that ten times fast.” Her eyes sparkled.

“You're biting your lip.”

“Am not. Can't talk and bite my lip at the same time.”

They entered the nursery side by side. He realized suddenly that he was relaxed, a rarity when his parents were around. His mother, at least. He loved her but she got on his nerves faster than—

“He's using disposable diapers!” Heath heard her declare, which she'd unerringly found.

“And so it begins,” he muttered to Cassie, who grinned.

“I'll warm a bottle,” he called out to his mother, heading toward the kitchen, taking Cassie by the hand.

Cassie took a seat at the counter as he ran hot water into a bowl. Her eyes no longer smiled.

“What?” he asked.

“You don't need me here anymore.”

Her words slammed into him. “We still need to find Eva. Track down the birth certificate.”

“That's the job you hired me to do. I don't have to live here to do my job. You needed help with Danny. You will have help from your parents.”

He didn't have an argument for that—not one he could say out loud, anyway, without scaring her off. He met her serious gaze for several long seconds. “Stay,” he said finally. “Please.”

“You only have one guest room set up.”

“They can have my room. I'll sleep on the couch in my office.”

“Why would you do that?”

Because life is better when you're around.
“Because my mother will take over, otherwise.”

“You mean, she won't if I'm here because she might think she's invading my turf?”

“Exactly.”

“But I'm not. She can see I'm not. We don't sleep together.”

“She wouldn't know that. She would think we're being considerate.”

He heard his parents approaching. Danny was fussing but not crying. His mother always had a magic touch with babies.

“Bottle, please.” Crystal held out her hand.

“I have a feeling I'm never going to hold my son again,” Heath said as he passed her the bottle.

“Of course you will. When I'm gone.” She smiled sweetly.

Cassie lifted her brows as if to say, “See? You don't need me.”

“You must be exhausted,” Cassie said to his parents. “I'll get my stuff and take off.”

“Oh, no. We wouldn't hear of it,” his father said.

“It's fine, really. Heath, would you join me upstairs for a minute, please?”

He went with her to the guest room as his parents continued to argue against her leaving.

“Do you have another set of sheets for the bed?” Cassie asked.

“I have no idea.”

“You have no idea?”

“People come. They stay. They go. I strip the bed and wash the sheets and put them back on.”

“Do you have a linen closet?”

They found another set of sheets and changed the linens, plus the bathroom towels. Cassie packed up, then set her belongings by the bedroom door.

They'd barely spoken.

“We'll stay in touch,” she said.

“I can't believe you're leaving me here to eat cardboard.”

She laughed. “I'm sure it's not that bad. Anyway, there's plenty of food in the refrigerator that will satisfy the carnivore in you.”

“She will have already thrown it out. She'll want me to do a purging, too.”

“What's that?”

“You don't want to know.” He was playing it up because it was making her laugh.

“You'll survive,” she said.

“Will you stop by now and then?”

“Sure. Keep me up-to-date on everything you hear from your lawyer, okay?”

“I will.”

She turned away. He reached for her hand, stopping her. “Thank you for everything, especially getting me out of the house tonight.”

“You're welcome.”

He tried to see below the surface. She had a slight smile on her mouth, but not in her eyes. He lifted his other hand to cup her cheek. She didn't pull away, but she didn't lean into him, either. “You sleep with the light on.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

She would've gone headstrong into the yard, barefoot and in pajamas, with a gun in her hand, but she had
to have a light on when she slept? Her complexity intrigued him. “Stay,” he repeated.

“I can't.”

“You don't want to get to know my parents?”

He'd hit a nerve. Her eyes flickered with something. What? And why?

“I'm sure your parents are wonderful. It's obvious you don't just tolerate them.”

Yes, he loved them, but they couldn't have picked a worse time for a surprise visit. He and Cassie were just getting to know each other.

“At least stay until morning. It's too late to be driving now.”

“I pull all-night surveillances, Heath. This is no big deal.”

“Cassie.” He brushed his thumb along her cheek, then lifted his other hand to frame her face.

“Earthie,” she responded.

He figured she was putting distance between them. They'd talked around their feelings before, both of them afraid to move too fast. He wasn't going to let her take too many steps away from what they'd begun. “Is Cassie short for Cassandra?”

“No.”

“Short for anything?”

“I think ‘any' or ‘thing' would be short for anything.”

He smiled. She clasped his wrists but didn't make him take his hands away from her face. She looked worried, though. Or scared. Of him? Of her feelings?

“We've been up here a long time. Your parents—”

He stopped her words with a kiss, more than a brush of lips, less than a merging. Her fingers tightened on his
wrists, then drifted down to his waist. He tipped her head back a little, changed the angle of the kiss, took it deeper. Her lips parted on a sigh. Her arms wound around him. She pulled herself closer, aligning their hips. He moved her against the wall and pressed into her. Her breath caught, then she moaned. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, her warm, wet, welcoming mouth, and she lifted her body into his. He lost all sense of time. He only knew he wished he had forever.

She broke away, pressed her face into his shoulder. He gathered her close, felt her shake, heard her breathing slow. He waited for her to say something about it being a mistake, that they had said they would wait until everything was resolved before they saw where the relationship might go. He wasn't sorry. Nor did he want her to have regrets.

“Okay,” she said at last. “Okay.”

“Okay, what?” The kiss was just okay? Everything was okay?

She stepped away and picked up her overnight case, garment bag and briefcase.

“Okay, what?” he repeated.

“Now we know.”

“Know what?”

“What's between us.”

“You had doubts?” He'd been sure of his attraction. He thought she'd been, too.

“There's a difference between anticipation and actuality.”

“So, the actuality matched the anticipation?”

“Surpassed it.”

“And that scares you, Cassie? Worries you?”

She nodded.

“Because?”

“Earthie!” His mother's voice broke the tension, puncturing the cloud of privacy they'd made.

“I have to go,” Cassie said, walking away at her usual fast clip.

“We'll talk about this.”

She looked over her shoulder at him but didn't respond.

He didn't follow her to her car, but veered into the nursery, where his father was rocking a sleeping Danny while his mother rearranged the stacks of tiny clothing in a nearby dresser.

“Cassie said goodbye,” he said, stepping into the room.
Goodbye.

 

Cassie made an effort not to speed through the streets of Sausalito, forcing herself to pay attention to the road. Still her thoughts darted back to Heath and the kiss. She had learned as a child to compartmentalize her emotions, and in her career she hadn't been put in any dangerous situations yet that would test her ability to control her feelings. Risky, yes, but nothing life-threatening. Still she'd kept her head just fine—until now.

She'd known Heath was going to kiss her and had let him, even though she knew she shouldn't. What did that say about her? How could he break through years of self-discipline, and even more years of presenting an unemotional front, when she'd known him only four days?

She could've stopped him with a word. Instead she welcomed him, encouraged him, and even sought more.

Why?

Even if she knew why, did she want to acknowledge
it? She was scared—and a little desperate. Scared, she could live with. Scared, she understood. But, desperate? She couldn't remember feeling desperate before. She'd learned early to have a plan and follow it, which tended to eliminate the possibility of desperation.

But she hadn't counted on Heath. Or Danny.

She'd already laid claim to both of them. Foolish thing to do. Incredibly foolish thing to do. She should know better.

Cassie knew what would happen next. Heath's parents would stay long enough that everything with Danny would be settled—custody, a nanny, even Heath's comfort level as a new parent. He would be driving again, taking Danny places. His world would expand—without her.

Cassie wouldn't be necessary any longer. Once again, not necessary to anyone.

She paid the toll on the Golden Gate then headed for home. After a few minutes she punched the speed dial for Jamey on her cell phone.

“I know it's late—okay, really late—but could I come over?” she said when he answered.

“Sure. What's going on?”

“I'll tell you when I see you.”

Jamey lived less than a mile from Cassie, but while she rented a studio apartment, he'd bought a house for the first time in his life, having given up a twenty-year career as a bounty hunter to finally settle down.

“You look like you just lost your best friend,” he said to her when he invited her inside.

Okay, so maybe she wasn't so good at keeping her
feelings compartmentalized, after all—or at keeping her expression composed.

“Beer?” he asked when she said nothing.

“Thanks.”

“Have a seat. I'll be right back.”