Heart of the Hunter (64 page)

I cleared my throat. I’m not kidding. I actually cleared my throat, the way the boss of a company might when his employees were slacking off and hadn’t realized he was present. But it made no difference. Rob just kept pumping his shaft, and at the same moment that the actor on the porno orgasmed all over the faces of the cheerleaders, Rob spilled his seed all over his hand. I watched his white semen spurt up and land on his lap. He was so weak he couldn’t even look at me.

I suppose I should have been grateful. He didn’t deserve to get his jizz anywhere near me. If he didn’t appreciate my attractiveness, then he didn’t deserve to fuck me. I
should
have felt grateful. But what I actually felt were tears of shame and humiliation forming in my eyes.

*

T
RUE TO HIS WORD,
Rob had to get up very early the next morning. His alarm went off at five and I pretended to be asleep as he showered and dressed. He left without saying a word, without checking if I was awake, without giving me a kiss.

I supposed that made sense. Why would he have kissed me then when he hadn’t kissed me the night before?

As soon as I heard the door shut behind him, I got dressed, called a cab, and let myself out of his apartment. If I never saw that cold, barren condo again, it would be too soon.

The cab took me to the restaurant and I cried all the way there.

Why was I crying? Because I’d let shit like that happen to me too often in my life. Was I really that worthless? Did good men really not have any interest in making love to me? I’d been cheated on, humiliated, dumped, and now, a new insult had been added to the list. I’d been ignored.

The only man who’d ever acted like he actually enjoyed making love to me was Grant, and there was no chance of that ever happening again. Not that I could see. Grant wanted a one night stand, and he didn’t believe in marriage. Another dead end in the maze of dead ends that was my love life.

Chapter 13

Grant

W
HEN I HEARD LACEY’S CAR
pull up the driveway in the morning, I could finally breathe easy. I know I shouldn’t have been worried about her, it wasn’t my place, but when she was meeting up with some random guy from the Internet, I always worried. I wasn’t jealous. I was used to her staying out all night with guys. I just worried sometimes. Especially when she went all the way into the city and didn’t call anyone.

I should have let her get home in peace but something brought me down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“I just made coffee,” I called when I heard her open the front door. “You want some?”

She seemed a little sheepish, like she usually did when she got home in the morning. It wasn’t even seven-thirty yet. It was obvious she’d spent the night with her date.

“I’ll have a cup,” she said, almost apologetically. “Thank you.”

I looked up at her. She was being surprisingly nice, which was rare since our escapade at the wedding. It made me wonder what had happened. She usually softened up like this when something bad happened. Had that asshole from her date tried something? If he did, I’d kill him. I’d nail his fucking guts to the wall, so help me God.

I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down. If there was one thing I knew about Lacey, it was that she valued her privacy. In fact, when it came to her romantic life, she was positively secretive. She never told me or the other brothers a thing.

I poured her a cup of coffee and handed it to her. She seemed shaky. Something had definitely happened on her date. I was certain of it.

“How was your date?” I said, trying to sound as natural as possible.

She caught my eye. “I didn’t think you’d be interested in something as mundane as a woman’s personal life. Aren’t you more interested in freedom and the like?”

“Come on, that’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it? Isn’t that what you said?”

“I never said that.”

“You’re the one who’s all about the one night stands. Never let a chick tie you down.”

“Lacey, where’s all this coming from?”

I knew she was still sore about what had happened in the barn. I hadn’t handled that as well as I should have, and I owed her better. I’d never have talked her into that one night stand if I’d thought for a second it would leave her feeling this upset. I’d been selfish. I’d wanted her body. I’d craved her. And I took what I wanted without considering the consequences.

But that had been weeks ago, and she’d mostly gotten over it. It didn’t explain why she was so upset now. Something bad had definitely happened on this date.

I’ll admit, it might not have been as serious as I was thinking. It could have been something perfectly normal. A difference of opinion, a simple argument, any one of the million things that can go wrong on a normal date between two nice people. But if I found even a hint that this guy she’d met up with had done something untoward, I’d cut his fucking cock off and feed it back to him.

“Did something happen last night, Lacey?”

“Oh, so now you’re interested?”

“Come on, Lacey. I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“Oh, really. By prying into my love life? You know, Grant, if you hadn’t
fucked
me so recently, I might believe that you were just
looking out
for me. But now I know better. You’re just like all the rest of them. All you want is a taste of pussy, and nothing else. No strings attached. They should tattoo it on men when they’re babies, just so that there’s no confusion later on in life.”

Shit. She was really mad. Maybe it was just me she was mad at, and not her date? One thing was clear, I wasn’t going to get anything even remotely resembling an honest answer from her. She was so mad at me she could hardly stand to be in the same room.

“I just wanted to make sure the guy you met up with was okay. I didn’t know you were planning on staying out all night.”

“Oh, excuse me, Grant. I didn’t realize I needed your permission. You want to know the truth? You want to know where I was all night? I was having the night of my life. Rob fucked me so hard, in so many ways, that I can’t even remember any of the other fucks I’ve had in my life, including yours. Rob is all I can remember. He erased the memory of you.”

I slammed my coffee on the counter and made to leave the room.

“That’s right,” she called out after me. “Run off, just like you did last time. Just know this. Rob’s cock is twice as big as yours, and I let him come everywhere. I mean, everywhere, Grant. He fucked me so hard in the ass I won’t be able to walk straight for a month.”

As I left the room, Grady and Forrester passed me. They were both wearing the wife beaters they’d slept in, rubbing their eyes, surprised to have been woken up by a fight in the kitchen.

“Glad you had a fun night,” Grady said.

“Maybe we don’t need all the gory details, Lacey,” Forrester said.

I turned back to look at Lacey. I felt so bad about the way things had turned out. I’d messed up, I’d hurt her, and there was nothing I could do about it. She was so mad she looked like she was about to burst out crying.

Chapter 14

Lacey

T
HE NEXT DAY, MY EMOTIONS
were in a complete tailspin. I decided the best thing to do was use my anger for something useful, so I went to the gym to work out the tension. I had the most vigorous workout of my life, and afterwards I stayed in the sauna for a full thirty minutes. I must have lost ten pounds. On the way home, I stopped by the Starbucks close to Faith’s old place to pick up a latte. I hated that I’d allowed Rob to make me feel fat, and I told myself that I hadn’t been affected by his words, but if you knew how much I hated the gym, it was obvious he’d struck a chord. As I waited for my coffee, my phone vibrated.

I shuddered when I saw that it was Rob. I felt like dropping my phone in the trash, just so that I could avoid reading his message. I thought things were well and truly over between us. It had been the worst first date in the history of first dates. Every time I remembered myself sitting on his bed while he masturbated to porn, I wanted to burst into tears. It was the most humiliating thing of my life.

But of course, despite my best intentions, I grabbed a seat and opened his message.

“Lacey, I’m so sorry about last night. I don’t know what came over me. Please forgive me.”

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my drink. The barista had written my name on the cup but had spelled it wrong. I didn’t care.

I opened the message again and clicked reply. I typed the letters F - U - C - K - Y - O - U in block capitals but I couldn’t hit send.

I should have. I knew I should. It wasn’t like I ever wanted to see him again. I couldn’t lose anything by telling him how I felt. He’d humiliated me. I’d laid myself out on a platter for him, practically begged him, and he’d been incapable of taking on the role of a man and fucking me. He didn’t even deserve a response.

Fuck it. I hit send.

Then I threw my phone into my purse so hard it was as if I wanted to break it.

I was determined to forget about Rob and move on with my life. He didn’t deserve me. If he couldn’t get it up for me, he could go to hell.

But when the phone vibrated inside my purse I found myself reaching for it immediately.

“I deserve that,” the message said.

I stared at it. Why was I engaging with him again? Why was I even reading his messages? I should have just blocked him. But something about what had happened the night before made me feel the need to prove myself. It was as if I was the one who had something to redeem, even though he’d been the one that was a complete failure.

I started typing but then I stopped myself and deleted everything. Why was it so hard for me to just forget about him and move on?

I took a long sip of my coffee and watched the customers and staff. Everyone was busy. Everyone was preoccupied. They were completely oblivious to the situation I was in. I guess, in the grand scheme of things, one bad date wasn’t exactly the end of the world. People had been through much worse. Maybe I was overreacting.

I started typing again.

“You chose to watch porn instead of having sex with me.”

“I know. I’m screwed up.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I watch too much porn. Sometimes I get addicted.”

I rolled my eyes. Was porn addiction even a thing? Or was it just an excuse for not being attracted to me?

“Well, have a good life, loser.”

I pressed send and threw my phone back in my purse. I was really determined not to read any more of his messages. I was so ashamed of what had happened that I wasn’t even going to tell Faith about it. I couldn’t tell anyone. I just had to suck it up on my own.

There was a vibration in my purse. I had no willpower. I read the message immediately.

“Give me one more chance. You won’t regret it.”

*

A
ND THAT IS HOW,
six hours later, I found myself driving back into the city to meet Rob for the second time. Judge me if you want. I know if I heard from one of my friends that she was meeting up with a guy like Rob for a second time, I’d want to slap some sense into her. I know I should have had more self-respect than that, but the truth is, I didn’t. I didn’t have any self-respect. I didn’t have any sense of self-worth. My confidence was at an all-time low.

I don’t even know how it happened. When I was a little girl, the apple of my daddy’s eye, I felt as if I could take over the whole world. I was sure I’d be a force to be reckoned with. But somehow, things didn’t turn out that way. I often thought of the seven year old Lacey, the little girl I’d been, and whether or not she’d be proud of the woman she’d grown up to become. I was certain she’d be dismayed if she knew the truth.

Rob was just the latest in a long line of guys who had completely and utterly let me down. My last real relationship had been with a guy named Matt. Most girls think the worst thing in the world is to find out that their husband is cheating on them. Well, I’m here to tell them, there’s one thing that’s a whole lot worse. Imagine finding out that you’re actually the woman that he’s cheating with. I’d dated Matt for two years. I’d committed everything I had to that relationship. I’d believed we were working toward building a life together.

And then I found out he was already happily married and I was just his bit on the side.

Yup.

Plus, as stupid as it sounds, I didn’t want to give Grant the satisfaction of knowing that I wasn’t seeing Rob again. I wanted him to think things were going great, that I had a new boyfriend, and that he’d royally screwed up when he let me go.

Chapter 15

Lacey

R
OB ASKED ME TO MEET
him at his clinic. He wanted to go out for dinner right after he was done, and he was really adamant that he was going to make the entire evening about me this time. He called me while I was in the car and spent about twenty minutes apologizing for his behavior the night before.

I finally told him to forget about it. We all had our little hang-ups and quirks and I was willing to move forward if he was. I was really glad I hadn’t spilled the entire story to Faith the night before, because I knew if I’d told her how he’d treated me, she’d have completely forbidden me from ever seeing him again.

Naturally, his clinic was in the fanciest part of the city, and as I drove through the security gate into the parking lot, I felt as if I was entering a top secret government research lab. People sure did take their cosmetic surgery seriously around there. The building was all glass and steel, and the sign on the side read Crawford Beauty Technology.

Rob met me at the door. I was a little awkward, but when he leaned in to kiss me, I allowed him to give me a little peck on the cheek. It was seven-thirty but the place was still open for business.

“I’m really sorry about this, but my last appointment of the evening is running a little long,” he said. “Would you mind waiting out here in the reception for a little while? I really didn’t expect this to happen.”

He was so apologetic that I couldn’t hold it against him.