Heart of the Druid Laird (14 page)

Lachlan made the exchange. “You told the lass I’d be driving.”

“Aye, so she’ll be in it, won’t she? Take off immediately so she doesn’t have the chance to switch to another vehicle. We’ll follow after I’ve…” He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Begged for forgiveness on your knees?” Lachlan laughed, and Niall joined him.

His stomach in a knot, Dermot followed the men outside and locked the door. He waited until Lachlan and Niall drove off before approaching the Jeep. He tossed his bag in the back and came around to slide into the driver’s seat. Sidney opened her door and exited the passenger side. Resisting the urge to pound his head into the steering wheel, Dermot put the keys into the ignition and lowered the window. “Get in.”

“You said Lachlan was driving my car.”

“Plans have changed.”

“I’ll say they have.” Sidney turned around and headed for the house.

Dermot got out of the Jeep and overtook her in a few strides. “I’m
sorry,
” he snapped.

“For what?” she snapped back.

“For…” He racked his aching brain for whatever it was she wanted to hear, and came up with nothing.

Sidney shook her head and snorted. “You don’t have a clue, do you?”

“No’ a sodding notion, and it’s making me crazy.” He gave her a shake. “Whatever it is I’ve done to upset you, you will forgive me right now,” he commanded.

“Are you nuts? You can’t order me to forgive you.” She knocked his hands off her shoulders. “Put yourself in my place. You’ve careened into my life, pursued me relentlessly, invaded my privacy and made the most outlandish claims about who I am.”

She poked him in the chest. “Do you remember what you said at the gym? Do you? I’m going to make you mine, Sidney.” She mimicked his brogue. “So, we did the deed, and the morning after you hand me a check. A. Check.
Now
you say you never intended or wanted to sleep with me.” Throwing her hands into the air, she shouted, “What the hell do you want from me? I don’t even think you know.”

Her eyes shone with unshed tears, and her chin quivered as she studied his face. What did he want from her?
Everything.
“I want you to look at me the way you did last night. I know that much.” He pulled her against him and tried to breathe. “Gods, you must know I want you. I’ve thought of nothing else since first laying eyes on you. I can scarce keep my hands from your body even now, and we’re fighting.” He tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. “I wanted to protect you,
mo anam.
That’s why I didn’t intend to lose control last night, and why I didn’t want anything to happen.”

She studied him intently. “Protect me from what?”

“From me.”

Sidney’s thoughts chased around inside her head, and he still held her so tight she could hardly breathe. “You want to protect me…from you? What does that even mean?”

He released her, refusing to look her in the eye. “We must be going.”

“What kind of threat are you to me?” He didn’t answer. She followed Dermot to the Jeep, and Scary Faerie’s warning flashed through her mind. Should she fear him? Perhaps ending the curse involved some sort of physical danger.

Dermot helped her into the Jeep and leaned across her to fasten the seat belt. Her senses filled with his delicious outdoorsy scent, and she could feel the heat radiating from his body. How could a man smell so damned good, seem so right and exasperate her so completely all at the same time?

They drove in silence. She fiddled with her watchband and stared out the window into the growing darkness. “What kind of danger does my helping you involve?”

“I must take you to the place where you were murdered on the anniversary of your death.” His hands gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles stood out in stark relief. “That is all I know for certain.”

“How does that morph into my needing protection from you?” She glanced at him. “You’re not the one who murdered Mairéad, are you? Maybe if you told me more about—”

“It has nothing to do with the curse.” He turned toward her, his face an unreadable mask. “I’m no good for you is all.”

“You’re talking relationship stuff here?”

He shook his head. “I was raised by men to be a leader or a priest. I’m no good at…I was never prepared to deal with…”

“Oh.”

“I let Mairéad down in the worst possible way. I’m certain it’s why you feel such anger toward me.”

“How did you let her down?” She gave him a wry look. “I’m guessing you and I weren’t all that ecstatic together in our past life. Is that what you mean?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He stared out the windshield, his body rigid. “I have nothing to offer. That’s why I tried to keep my distance.”

“You have nothing to offer.
That’s
what all this is about? I don’t recall asking for anything.”

“I—”

“Oh, shut up. You’re such an idiot, you know that? Not to mention arrogant.”

“No doubt.”

“Plus, you never really answer any of my questions, which is extremely annoying. There is no such thing as
I’ve got nothing to offer.
That’s just a really lame, sorry-assed excuse for selfishness.”

“Selfishness?” He scowled at her. “You do no’ understand.”

“Sure I do.” She grabbed her purse from the floor and pulled out her iPod. “Where is that check anyway?”

“In my wallet.”

“I’ll take it now.”

He reached into his back pocket and tossed the wallet onto her lap. She transferred the check to her purse and placed the wallet on the dashboard. She put her earbuds in and leaned back with her eyes closed, determined to shut him out.

How dare she call him selfish? He’d never been allowed the luxury of selfishness. His entire life had always been about responsibility for others. Dermot watched the Jeep’s headlights eat up the broken white lines on the highway. Her words preyed on his mind.

Now would be the time to tell her he’d disintegrate into dust the moment the curse lifted. Then she’d understand. Maybe she’d even regret her words and offer him some sympathy. He should tell her, and he would.

Not now though, not while so many emotions churned within him. Dermot reached over and took an earbud out of Sidney’s ear. “What do you mean by an excuse for selfishness?”

“We’ve already had this discussion, remember? Right after we had sex for the second time.” With a glare, she put the earbud back and closed her eyes.

He took it out again. “The topic of that discussion was romantic love and cowardice. This is different.”

“Is it?” Her brow rose. “Why should I answer your questions? You don’t answer mine.”

He didn’t
want
to answer her questions. Once she knew the secret he carried from their past, and how he’d failed Mairéad, she’d never forgive him. He couldn’t bear the hurt and betrayal he’d see in her eyes. The temptation to compel her cooperation grew strong. Gods, maybe he
was
selfish. “Please, do me this favor.”

Sidney looked askance at him. “Okay, only because you asked so nicely. Saying you have nothing to offer is a copout. You lusted after me enough to have sex with me, but you don’t care enough about me to take an emotional risk.”

“Nay,” he protested. “It’s because I care about you that I tried to keep my distance.”

She snorted. “Like I said.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Am I? You asked, and I answered.” She shrugged. “Material assets aside, none of us has anything to give anyone but ourselves. It’s a choice. Either you take the risk and become vulnerable with someone, or you don’t.” Taking the earbud from his hand, she smiled at him. “It’s okay. I’m fine with things the way they are. I never asked you for anything.”

“What if I’m no’ fine with the way things are?” Panic exploded in his chest. He didn’t want it to be okay with her.

“Since you’ve offered nothing but money, and asked for nothing other than my help ending the curse, I can’t see why you’d have a problem.” Sidney shrugged. “From what you’ve told me, our previous
association
was all about political and material gain. By your own admission, Mairéad belonged to you in much the same way as your cattle. You didn’t love her. Why should things be any different now?”

“I cared for her.” Her words made him squirm. “You must consider the era and my position.”

“Must I?” She turned to look out her window. “The way I see it, you need my help, and you’re willing to pay for it. Besides the lust, that’s all there is to the story.”

“What if I change my mind? What if I’m willing to take the risks you keep harping about?”

“
Harping
about?” She rolled her eyes at him. “Yep, I’m thinkin’ that ship has pretty much sailed.”

“Aye, but you control the rudder.” Gods, what the hell was he saying? Dermot stood at the edge of a precipice, and everything hinged upon what Sidney said next. Was it possible he wanted to make that leap for her? No. Not an option when death loomed so near. Yet, here he was, willing to beg if necessary and rationalize his actions no matter what. He thought of Thomas. His cousin said he’d remain immortal if he must to stay with Zoe. Was such a thing possible? “Can we start over?”

“Again?” Sidney continued to stare out her window. “How many start-overs am I supposed to give you?”

The hurt he heard in her voice turned him inside out. “When did—”

“Don’t you remember? The night we went out to dinner you asked me then if we could start over.”

“I remember.” He was traveling in a foreign country without a map. “Do you…have feelings for me, lass?”

“What kind of question is that? Do you think I’d fall into bed with a man I don’t care about? Would I be upset about that big fat check if I didn’t have feelings for you? I would’ve helped end the curse for nothing. You didn’t even give me the chance.”

“I know what to apologize for now.”

“Oh?”

“I’m sorry I’m such an arse.”

“I’m sorry you’re such an ass too.” Her laughter filled the SUV, causing the familiar flutter and surge of warmth inside him. Finally he’d said something right. Dermot smiled as thoughts of how she’d slept in his arms flashed through his mind. He longed to make love to her again. He imagined holding her through the night, her naked body snug against his.

“I forgive you, but I’m not going to sleep with you again.”

His smile disappeared.

Thomas held Zoe close while the jet was fueled and made ready for takeoff. He sent a wave of gratitude to Sidney for insisting she needed time to prepare for the trip. They’d had four glorious days of freedom. He and Zoe had made the most of every moment. Hell, they’d spent most of their time together in bed. “You’ve got my mobile number on speed dial. I expect you to use it.” He ran his hands down her back.

“I will. You too. You’d better call me at least once a day.” Zoe glanced around the airport. “Dermot and Sidney aren’t here yet.”

“David is bringing them.” He brushed her lips with his. “It’s only a week we’ll be separated, love.”

“I hope you’re right.”

Lachlan, Niall and Donald exited the hangar and made their way toward the jet. Until now, Thomas had managed to keep them away from Zoe. He hadn’t wanted them to cause her any more distress than she already felt. The three men studied her as they approached. Thomas put his arm around Zoe’s shoulders.

“Who is this?” Lachlan asked, nodding his head toward Zoe. Donald and Niall flanked him.

She stepped out from under his arm and extended her hand to Lachlan. “I’m Zoe LeBlanc, Thomas’s fiancée.”

She lifted her chin as if challenging Lachlan to deny her claim, and his chest swelled with pride. He should’ve known his lass would no’ be intimidated. Three pairs of eyes turned his way, all holding varied expressions of shock and disapproval.

Lachlan scowled at him. “His…fiancée?”

“Aye. We plan to marry shortly after the curse is lifted.” Thomas glared back. “Here’s the rest of our party. Zoe, don’t you want to say goodbye to Sidney?” He pointed to the Jeep. She shot him a questioning look. “Go on, love. I’ll join you in a moment.”

“Okay.” She studied his face, and then glanced at the three men before walking away.

“What are you playing at?” Lachlan asked. “Have you told her your life will end in less than a week’s time?”

“She knows it’s a possibility. I’m not taking the antidote to immortality if the only outcome is death.”

“It’s no’ likely Áine will give you a choice.” Lachlan shook his head. “You’re treading on thin ice, and your
fiancée
is the one who will suffer.”

He raked his hand through his hair, and glared at Lachlan. “You can’t say for certain what Áine will do, and I’d appreciate it if you’d stay the fuck out of my business.”

“Oy, what are you on about?” Donald took a step closer. “Have we no’ been waiting for an end to this cursed existence for nigh on two millennia? Now you tell us you’re engaged, and our laird spends—”

“Wheesht.”
Lachlan put his hand on Donald’s shoulder. “This is a conversation best left until we have more privacy.”

“Donald is right to be concerned,” Niall added. “We’re depending on Dermot. He’s the only one who can return Sidney to the place of Mairéad’s murder.”

“I’m no’ disagreeing,” Lachlan said. “I’m only suggesting we talk about it once we’re home. This involves all of us. The others need to hear it as well.”

“I want the curse ended as much as anyone.” Thomas watched Zoe as she linked her arm with Sidney’s. “I’m only saying we’ve all been robbed of a normal life. I’m asking Áine for mortality, aye, but no’ if the result is instant death. My love has returned. I mean to have the lifetime with her that was stolen from me.”

“You think Áine cares one whit about what you want?” Donald shot him an incredulous look. “Do you believe the passage of time has somehow made her more agreeable?”

“Nay.” He shook his head. “I’m hoping once she reunites with her reincarnated daughter, she’ll soften a bit. Maybe I can have Sidney plead my case. Wouldn’t you choose a normal life over instant death if it were offered?”

“I’ve lived long enough and seen enough. Haven’t we all suffered far too many losses already?” Lachlan stared out over the airfield. “I have no wish to continue. This is no’ our time.” He shook his head. “None of us was meant to live beyond our century. Everyone I loved is long gone. It’s time I joined them on the other side, or to meet them again in another life. My kin no longer know who I am.”

“Aye.” Donald nodded. “I’m with Lachlan on this. My descendants are spread all around the globe. Even though I’ve followed many through the span of our years, and helped them to succeed when I could, none even know I exist.”

“It is well past time for us to leave this world.” Niall started up the steps to the cabin of the jet. “We were cursed together, and we’ll die together. Áine’s father made the conditions clear enough.” He glanced at Thomas from the door. “We’re cleared for takeoff in twenty. Get everyone on board.”

Thomas’s insides twisted. He had hoped for support from the other men. Without it, his situation became far more uncertain. Taking a deep breath, he shored up his determination. There had to be a way, and he would be the one to find it.

“You have to tell me where this castle of theirs is located once you get there.”

Sidney frowned at Zoe. “What’s the urgency? Didn’t Thomas promise to come back right after the curse is lifted?”

“Yes, if he—”

“Come, Sidney. They’re waiting for us to board.” Dermot took her elbow.

“Call me.” Zoe reached for her hand. “Promise.”

“I will. Relax, Zoe.” Sidney allowed Dermot to lead her toward the jet, and Zoe headed for Thomas. Sidney had to turn away as she saw the two of them hold each other close while they said their goodbyes. She suffered a stab of jealousy. Thomas and Zoe didn’t have any ambivalence about how they felt about each other.

“Listen, Sidney,” Dermot said. “The anniversary is eight days away. We lose a day in travel. That gives us a week together. Can we call a truce? I want you to enjoy Scotland. I’d like to show you my home and some of the sights.” He stopped and put his hands on her shoulders, his gray eyes boring into hers. “I want you to be happy.”

God, this was hard, pretending she didn’t care, trying to maintain her distance. The conversation they’d had on the way back to the Cities had almost unhinged her. One minute he warned her away, and the next he begged her for a start-over. Being with him was like riding an out-of-control emotional roller coaster without the safety bar. Sidney searched his face and waited for the other shoe to drop. He looked truly desperate. Her heart melted. “All right, a truce.”

His whole body relaxed, and the smile on his face transformed him, causing her breath to catch in her throat. Dermot reached for her hand, and her heart did that pinball routine.
I’m in so much trouble.
“Don’t get cocky, MacMud. You’re on probation.”