Heart of the Diamond (41 page)

With an inaudible murmur, Mina leaned forward and bolted past Teddy as though expecting him to give chase. Nicki watched her for a moment, then with a deep breath returned her attention to Teddy, who continued to watch Mina curiously.

“We were merely being nice. It is time for Simms' evening tea and he has not been feeling all that well lately.”

“Whatever is the matter with him? This morning I could have sworn he was the color of lilacs, but I just spotted him in the hall a moment ago and he was blue.”

Nicki nibbled at her lower lip. “It is not contagious, Teddy, so you need not look so worried.”

“Then what's wrong with him?”

“He—well—he ate one of Em's blueberry pies and—and the berries were not quite ripe—and he . . .”

A frown creased Teddy's brow. “I should say they were not ripe. Are there any on the vines at all?”

“Actually—they were from last summer. Yes, they were from last spring and Em tried to dry them—and they were not ripe when she picked them. At any rate, Simms had a reaction to them.”

“I should say he did. I hope Em is not planning to feed the pie to anyone else.”

“Oh, no. Simms ate the whole pie.” Nicki silently said a prayer that she would not be struck dead for such blatant lies, or for her relative skill in rattling them off.

Teddy glanced toward the open door leading into the ballroom, then down the hall where Mina and Simms were intent on the tea tray. “I must speak with you, Nicki. I've waited too long as it is.”

Nicki clenched her hands into fists as Mina poured the tea and handed the cup to Simms, holding her breath as he sipped the tea, then added a spoonful of sugar. With a sickly smile, Mina backed away, then darted into the drawing room. Simms settled into a chair near the study door, the saucer balanced on one crossed knee, the teacup in his hand. He seemed to be enjoying the drink immensely. Nicki hoped his pleasure still remained an hour from now.

“Nicki? Did you hear me?”

She flashed Teddy a guilty look. “I am sorry. What did you say?”

“I said I need to speak to you in private. Should we go outside?”

Nicki shook her head. “No, it is much too cold tonight and a deucedly thick fog has settled in. Let us retire to the breakfast room. But you must be quick, Teddy. I have been away too long already.”

Teddy pushed the door open and stood aside to allow Nicki to pass. A single lamp cast a weak glow throughout the room. Teddy hurried to turn up the wick. The atmosphere still seemed entirely too intimate, so Nicki retrieved two candlesticks from the table and used the flame in the lamp to light them, then returned them to their place on the long table.

Satisfied with the added illumination, she gave Teddy her undivided attention. “So what is it you needed to tell me?”

He pulled a chair away from the table and rested one booted foot upon the seat. “I wanted to again try to dissuade you from marrying Dylan. I know you believe in him, Nick, but he's not worth your regard.”

“I will not listen to this on the night before my wedding, Teddy. This conversation is over.” To prove her words, she marched toward the door.

“Nicki, wait!”

The harshness of his voice halted her mid-stride. Nicki looked around at him in surprise. “Whatever is the matter with you?”

“It's you I'm worried about. I thought you would've seen through him by now and call off this farce of a wedding. But you become more enthralled with him each day.”

After stepping closer to the chair, Nicki rested her hands on the carved back. Her grip tightened as she searched for the proper words to convince Teddy once and for all that she loved another. “He is my future, just as you are my past. I want to continue our friendship, but you make it impossible by maligning Blake at every turn. Why will you not leave well enough alone, Teddy, and trust that I am going to be happy?”

He covered both her hands with one of his. “Because I know him. I know what he's capable of, and I know the code you live by, Nick. You've placed him in your heart as a knight, a great warrior. He is neither.”

She jerked free. “You have said nothing thus far to convince me he is not everything I believe him to be.”

“Why do you refuse to trust me?”

The plaintive cry touched her heart. Once, she might have listened to Teddy without doubt, but she no longer felt the blind adoration of a child for an older, wiser friend. She had left that little girl behind and was now a woman. A woman in love with a man who would be her husband by this time tomorrow.

“He is my destiny,” she said simply.

Teddy thrust himself away from the chair with such force he sent it clattering backwards to the floor. He faced her, frustration and anguish twisting his handsome features into a mask of despair.

“Sweet, stubborn Nicki. It was not so long ago your faith belonged to me!”

“I was a little girl, Teddy. You have not set eyes on me for six years. How can you think to now know my heart?”

“I know your goodness and that part of you that searches for the best in everyone. It only proves your youth and inexperience that you believe you love Dylan.” He strode around the fallen chair to take her shoulders.

Nicki stiffened beneath his touch, then relaxed slightly when his fingers remained gentle.

“You know nothing of men. You could never imagine anyone like him. It's not in you.”

“The local boys have come around and I enjoyed their company. They tried to sneak a kiss in the gardens on a summer night. I never wanted anything from them but friendship. In my heart I believed I waited for you. I always thought 'Teddy will give me my first kiss.' But you stayed away. When Blake came, I did not want to care for him. I tried to maintain loyalty to you. But he touched something deep inside me even you never reached. And what he brought out was not the girl you knew, Teddy. She was the woman I have become. I cannot say it any more clearly than that. I love him. With all that I am and will ever be, I love him.”

Teddy spun away from her and strode to the window. Nicki watched him, her chest filling with pain that echoed his. “He doesn't deserve you.”

“Yes, he does.”

The silence stretched between them. Nicki sighed, went to the window and leaned against the opposite casing. The moonlight shimmered in Teddy's tawny hair and his profile appeared angelic in the pale light. Then she saw tears streaming down his cheek and cringed inwardly from the extent of the harm she had done him.

“You leave me no option.” He looked down at her, one side of his mouth curving upward, though the smile avoided entering his eyes. “I must tell you everything.”

Nicki raised her chin. “Nothing you can say will change my feelings.”

“We'll see, I suppose.”

“Say what you will. I have been gone from the party much too long.”

“I told you once that I had known Blake here in England.” When Teddy returned his gaze to the window, Nicki felt a chill and crossed her arms. “It was an understatement. Blake and I were at college together. We were best friends.”

“But you brought home so many friends. I think I would remember Blake.”

“He never came home with me, though I think he would have liked to. His father kept him on a short tether. You see, Blake liked women. He never gave his attentions to just one, though. His taste was discriminating. He preferred them unusually beautiful, wealthy, cultured, and—married.”

Alarm jolted through Nicki, followed closely by denial. “Impossible! Blake is much too honorable.”

“He wanted no attachments, Nick, and he went to great pains to avoid them—something to do with his mother abandoning him as a child, I think.”

Thoughts spun about in her head with no order, but she grasped for one in desperation. Blake had been young and unable to deal with the feelings of betrayal and loss.

“Is that all? If it is I must return to the party. Blake will have missed me.”

Teddy leaned his head back to stare at the moon. “God, I wish it were all, Nick. For your sake.”

“Tell me, Teddy!”

“He and I were close. As I said, we were best friends. One day he came to me more excited than I had ever seen him and said he had found the ultimate prize. She was married to a duke and appeared to be in love with the man. Blake said she was exquisite, with eyes like emeralds. He planned to seduce her, saying she would be his greatest challenge.”

Chills fluttered up Nicki's arms and she clutched her arms tightly about her waist. The desire to run from this room, find Blake, and never delve into the past nearly overcame her.

“He wanted me to deliver a note to her bedchamber. He said he'd bribed her maid and learned which room belonged to her. I refused. He was furious. Said he would take it himself. The duke and duchess were supposed to be at the theater, but they returned home early and caught Blake in her bedchamber. He was nearly home free. He had left a note on her pillow and was just leaving through the window. The duke grabbed him and dragged him back into the room. When Blake refused to tell him why he was there, the duke became enraged. He saw the note—read it. He recognized Blake because he knew the old earl, Blake's father. Blake was hauled from the house like a naughty child. Barrett Dylan was awakened and Blake was tossed at the feet of his father. The earl was furious, but he still might have let the matter go. It was the woman's husband who insisted on satisfaction. It was then that Blake's father sent him away from England.”

Tears streamed down Nicki's cheeks. Blake's unbending pride—something that was not learned, or adopted as a young man, but inbred over generations. To have been treated so must have humiliated him. And to be forced to face his father in disgrace when he had worked so hard to please him . . . 

“My poor Blake,” she whispered.

“Poor Blake! Dear God, were you not listening, Nick? The woman he intended to seduce was Angelica. The duke was your father. Now you know why Blake hates him so much. It was because of him that the old earl finally washed his hands of his son. But within two years Blake had earned a fortune of his own. He began bleeding Jonathon dry. When I came to America, I fell into his hands as well. He blamed me because I had refused to deliver the note that night. If I had been a better friend, he never would have been caught.”

Nicki shook her head. No, it was too much. Tears choked her. She would not believe it. Not Blake and Angelica. But so much suddenly made sense. It explained her father's unholy rage the night he came after her to Rosewood. She remembered thinking that Blake could well have murdered her father that night, so tangible was the animosity between them. Words flashed through her mind, then spun away. Blake telling her he never wanted to befriend her father. Her father trying to explain how dangerous Blake was. So many words, yet they had not spoken the ones that mattered: the simple truth.

She collapsed against the cold glass as the extent of their betrayal washed over her. Sobs rose from some dark place within her where everything most precious to her had lain safe and protected, and was now broken and bleeding. These people had turned her world upside down with their deceit. And she had let them.

Teddy pulled her into his arms, but Nicki refused the comfort offered by his embrace. This nightmare belonged to her alone and she would endure the pain alone. Nothing Teddy did now could take it away. She heard his voice, but she had passed beyond coherence. The hoarse murmur grated across the frayed and jagged edges of her consciousness and Nicki thrust him away.

“Leave . . . me . . . ” Nicki fought his hands. She would go mad if he did not stop touching her.

The image of her mother's still face returned to haunt her. She had failed again. Failed.

From far in the distance she heard a soft click, like a knob snapping back into place after a door has been closed. Nicki slipped along the glass to the floor, drawing her knees close to her chest. She closed her eyes and her soul drifted into the colorless void of the past. If only she could go back—back to the time before her mother had died. Somehow, she would find a way to change whatever it was that made others not love her as deeply as she loved them—whatever flaw in her personality that drove them to hide their pain from her.

Was she weak? That must be it. She had to be stronger. Strong enough to prove she could take care of anything, could meet any obstacle head on. But it was too late. Too late to help her mother. Too late to . . .

To what? Nicki tried to remember. She searched frantically in her mind, but her head hurt so badly. The pain sliced a swath behind her eyes, until Nicki reached up to hold her temples. She could no longer gather her thoughts. But she had to. She had to decide what to do.

What to do.

“Nicki? Nicki, it's Mina.”

The soft voice drifted across the piercing ache in her head and Nicki opened her eyes. Mina. Mina kneeling before her and looking desperately afraid.

With a supreme effort, Nicki summoned a reassuring smile. Her face felt stiff and swollen. “I . . . I am not feeling very well, Mina.”

“What happened? What did Teddy do to you?”

Nicki shivered with reaction. That was it. Teddy. Blake and Angelica and her father. Too late. “He did nothing. Nothing at all. What time is it, Mina?”

Confused, Mina glanced across the room to the clock. “One o'clock. Most of the guests have retired. Blake has been looking for you.”

“Would you do something for me?”

“Anything, Nicki.”

She felt so brittle inside, as though she would shatter into a thousand tiny fragments. “Give me just a few minutes to . . . to tidy up.” She reached out to grasp Mina's hand. “Then bring Papa, Angelica, and Blake here to me.”

Blue eyes welled up with tears that spilled over. “Nicki, tell me what has happened this instant. If Teddy has hurt you . . .”

“Please, sister. Bring them here. I promise I will tell you everything tomorrow. But not now.”

After a moment's hesitation, Mina stood and backed several steps. Her lip trembled and she fled the room. Nicki reached out for the window casing and pulled herself up.

With her eyes closed, Nicki concentrated only on breathing in and out. She forced all other thoughts from her mind. Gradually, the trembling in her arms and legs lessened. The first time she had practiced this trick had been after her mother's funeral. That thought she quickly banished to hide with the others until she could deal with each in turn.