Heart of the Country (22 page)

54

I
EXPECTED TO BE OVERWHELMED
the moment I stepped off the plane. The plane ride alone was an experiment in the steadiness of my nerves. But the airport was easy to navigate, and the cab even easier to find.

Before I knew it, a polite young man named Ahab was welcoming me to the city. “I can tell, your first time, no?”

“Yes.”

“Welcome to the greatest city on earth!” Ahab said cheerily.

“Well, you haven’t been to Columbus County, North Carolina, but . . .” I gazed through the windshield of the car at the wattage. A lot of wattage. All the buildings twinkled
against the dark sky. “I think you’re probably right. We don’t have skyscrapers.”

“Or Broadway,” he said with a side grin.

“Nothing wrong with open fields and fresh air,” I said, but not boldly enough to withstand Ahab’s obvious love for this city. “This is pretty spectacular.” I handed him the address to the hotel Faith said they were staying in.

“Here for business or pleasure?”

“Neither.” Now Ahab was getting a little too chatty.

“Whatever the case, I hope you enjoy your stay.”

“Ahab, you’re nice enough. Well worth the tip I know you’re expecting.”

“What can I say? I like to meet new people.”

“I’m more the kind to keep to myself, but I guess I am in New York. Not a good place to come if you can’t tolerate people.”

“What is your name?”

“Olivia.”

“Well, Ms. Olivia, I think you’ll find our town friendly enough to your liking.”

I sat back, gazed out the window, and let the city take me in. I tried to imagine what Faith’s life was like here. Rich socialite. Hard to grasp. But I had to admit, I might like it for a season. Wouldn’t give up the farm, the girls, Hardy, for anything, but I could play here for a little while.

The traffic alone was a shock. But the horns and the hums of the cars fell into a rhythmic sync, like all the instruments of an orchestra tuning themselves at the same time.

The cab was quiet except for Ahab humming something softly.

“Ahab, thank you for your kind welcome to the city.”

“You’re most welcome, Ms. Olivia.”

“I’m here because my daddy has cancer, and we’re seeing a specialist.”

“Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. I will say a prayer for him,” Ahab said, and I believed that he would.

In an hour’s time, Ahab was pulling to the front of the Holiday Inn. He hopped out and hurriedly opened the door for me. I handed him cash, told him to keep the change, and waited for him to get my suitcase.

My first and only friend in New York City. Ahab. I thanked God for the kind man he sent to drive me here. Now I had to find the room.

I was just pulling up the handle of my suitcase when another cab arrived. I got out of the way and was still trying to figure out why my handle was stuck when I heard, “Olivia?”

I looked up to find Faith walking toward me. “Faith!” I was relieved but caught off guard. As was she. Her eyes were wide. She wasn’t smiling. “I can explain,” I said hastily. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Faith. You have to know that. I just wanted to be here, with you both, and hear what the doc
 
—”

Her arms shot out; she grabbed me by the shoulders, pulled me into a tight hug, and whispered, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Then she burst into tears.

I got her calmed down and we walked down the street to an IHOP. I had something that said “fruit” and “whole wheat” but tasted like dessert. Faith only had coffee. She looked even thinner now that I hadn’t seen her in a couple of days. Her eyes were bloodshot and I knew she’d been crying.

“I caught him with Maria . . . my best friend.”

I lost my appetite right along with her. I set my fork down. “Tonight?”

She nodded. “Dad urged me to go over, try to make some peace. He said any guy that would go to the trouble to help his father-in-law, like Luke did, was worth at least a conversation.” A tear dribbled down her cheek. The waitress was refilling her cup and noticed, but I gave the gal a move-it-along look. “I walked right into our home and there he was in the living room with her.”

“Naked?” I gasped loudly. Too loudly. An elderly couple turned. I guess
naked
shouted in the middle of a pancake joint is weird even in New York.

“Shhh!” Faith said. “No, not naked.”

“Kissing?”

“No.”

“Hands not where they belong?”

“No, no. They were just standing there. But you should’ve seen the look on Luke’s face. Guilt, Liv. Total and complete guilt.”

“What’d he say?”

“That it was nothing, of course.” Faith sniffled. “All these years, I knew Maria had a thing for Luke. I never fully
trusted her, and I hated it because I thought I was just being paranoid.” She looked up at me as she blotted her eyes. “You know, I always measured everyone against you.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I’d meet somebody. A potential friend. I always judged them in regard to how they treated me. I guess all those years I was in New York, I was looking for a sister.”

A lump stung my throat
 
—a big, juicy one that got me all teared up. “Faith, I should’ve never . . . let so much time pass. I’m sorry.”

“I’m the one that ran.”

“But I know I made it hard to come home.” I took my spoon, scooped some whipped cream off my pancakes, and offered it to her. “Pure whipped sugar?”

“Yes.” She smiled and put the whole thing in her mouth. “Gwood.”

“I know.”

“I kind of want to rub it all over my face.”

“Weird by even New York standards.”

We laughed. But her smile didn’t last too long.

“I miss Momma.”

“I know you do, sweetheart.”

“It’s like our life was this beautiful story and her character just disappeared right in the middle of it. Just gone.”

“Faith, the thing that lets me get up each morning without my heart falling into a million tiny pieces is that I know we will see her again. Momma had made her peace with God
long before the accident. She gave everything over to Him, including how long she was supposed to be on this earth.”

“It haunts me,” Faith said, staring into her coffee. “That it can all be gone instantly.”

“Not gone. Just temporarily removed. God promises that one day all of our tears will be wiped away. Until then, we dig our way through this mess with our hands.”

“I have to confess something.”

“What is it?”

“I believe Luke.”

“Believe him?”

“About Maria. I could see it in his eyes.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

“Because that would mean I’d have to forgive him for lying to me. For destroying all we had.”

“Sometimes ‘all we had’ is not close to ‘all that could be.’ Sometimes you have to lose the thing you think is perfect to see the better thing on the other side.”

“You think we can be saved?”

“I think it’s no mistake you’re back in New York.”

“We never fit into his family either. They never accepted I really did love him.” She stirred her coffee like she’d just poured something in it.

“I’m never going to fit back into my jeans if I eat this by myself. Come on, help me out,” I said, handing her a fork. She didn’t even hesitate. I wondered when she’d eaten last.

We finished pretty fast and walked back to the hotel. “Let me get a room,” I said as we approached the front desk.

“Don’t be silly. Two king-size beds in there. Come on, there’s plenty of room.”

“Dad’s going to freak out when he sees me.”

“He’s asleep. And as much as he complains about you mothering him, I promise that he couldn’t live without you.” She put her arm around me. “Neither can I.”

There’s not too much that can make this old farm girl cry more than once in the same month, but that theory was being tested pretty severely.

We got to the room. Dad didn’t even rustle as we entered. “Get in your jammies. We’ll find a late-night movie,” Faith said, and I swear I was transported to the age of ten.

The last thing I remembered was giggling.

55

I
FELL ASLEEP
at ten after five, and my alarm rang at six, blaring out that it was time to wake up and also that my life was as promising as a call from a debt collector. If it was possible to die of a hangover from life, I was in danger. I managed to sit up, get my feet on the floor, and trudge to the bathroom, where I had the unpleasant task of looking at myself.

“No wonder she left you,” I groaned, my eyes swollen half-shut and the left side of my face as red as a blood orange. Except I knew it wasn’t because I looked hideous. Faith was good, and good people love the heart, so I knew I had to dig deeper.

Sure, last night was a misunderstanding, but I had to take responsibility for it. I should’ve never let Maria into the apartment. I should’ve never had drinks with her. I should’ve never . . . the list was endless, wasn’t it?

I’d tried to call Faith, over and over like a crazy person. I’d texted her. But I was only met with silence. And in the face of silence, I realized that I could only control so much in my life. I couldn’t control her or what she thought of me. For many years, I’d controlled my universe, with quite a bit of ease if I was honest. It was what the Carradays did. We controlled. We were in control. We never lost control.

Right now all I knew for sure was that I had a giant mortgage to pay and a reputation to restore. And my father had offered me a way to do both. So I pulled on my favorite suit, a brown Louis Vuitton with a blue paisley tie. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair and tied my shoes. I took this for granted for so long . . . the act of going to work. The act of getting out of bed with something to look forward to. I’d fallen into a lot of things, including the grind.

As I drove to my new job, I wondered how Dad could even take me back. I’d brought shame to the family name, brought disgrace to my marriage, and to top it all off, had to have my brother and dad bail me out of my own mess, literally. I was the cautionary tale with the twist ending.

Except I hoped this wasn’t the end. I couldn’t give up on Faith. I had to keep fighting until there wasn’t anything left in me. The problem was that I didn’t have a game plan. I was at a loss as to what to do next.

At Carraday headquarters, I was surprised to find my parking spot still painted with
Reserved
along with a brown metal sign displaying my name. Surely this hadn’t been there the whole time, since I left?

I took the elevator up to the seventieth floor. Observed the new TVs that had been installed in the elevator, tuned to CNBC, the stock market ticker tape rolling brightly across the bottom. The doors swished open and I stepped out gingerly, like the floor might fall out from underneath me . . . or the room might start to boo. I was hoping I could make it to Dad’s office without being noticed.

Then I heard a pop. That’d be just like me, to get shot in my own dad’s office by a disgruntled employee. I realized that I had indeed not been shot but greeted by Mona, who stood at her desk and clapped for me. My face flushed so badly that I was certain I was about to spontaneously combust. I was just about to give the cutoff sign to Mona when several other of Dad’s inner circle employees stood and clapped.

“What are you clapping for?” I think I actually said it out loud. If I did, nobody heard me. I tried a gentle, amiable wave, but that didn’t seem to calm it down. All I could do was walk forward, smile pleasantly, hope there wasn’t a cake.

Finally it died down and I got to Dad’s office. I rounded the corner and stepped in. He was at his desk. He rose with a wide, open smile and hurried to . . . hug me? Like bear-hug me. The kind that embarrasses you in front of the elementary school. I patted him on the back.

Then two hefty arms grabbed me from behind and I was
lifted off the ground. I didn’t even have to turn around. I knew it was Jake.

“Wow,” I said, out of breath from shock, among other things. “Thanks . . . I don’t know why everyone is clapping.”

“They’re glad you’re back!” Dad said. “So am I. Welcome home, Son.”

More clapping. I thanked everyone, stepping out of Dad’s office to give them a grateful smile. Closing Dad’s door, I put my briefcase down and sat in one of his chairs. In fact, it was the same chair I’d sat in to tell Dad I wanted my money and I was leaving him.

“Dad . . .”

“I know
 
—we have a lot to talk about. I’ve scheduled in an hour and a half to
 
—”

“I can’t . . . Don’t give me a job, Dad.”

“Of course I’m going to give you a job.”

“I thought better of it
 
—” Jake grinned
 
—“but he wouldn’t hear of it. He wants you back. So do I.”

“That was a chapter. A painful chapter, sure. But it’s over now. Time to start a new one,” Dad said.

A rush of relief squeezed around me like another bear hug. I resisted a good tear-up by rubbing my hands together and switching subjects. “How did you get me that immunity deal?”

Dad had his reading glasses on now and he peered at me. “Don’t ask questions like that, Son.”

I looked at Jake, who I knew couldn’t resist the inquiry. “We cut a deal with the SEC the minute you left our company and started with Michov.”

“What?”

Dad dropped his glasses to his desk and looked resigned to explain. “We knew they were after Michov, and so we offered a few of our most trusted clients to pose as investors in exchange for your immunity. As long as you never invested anyone else’s funds, the deal was in place.”

I am certain my jaw dropped. I looked at Jake. “That’s why you cut me off at the gallery that night.”

Jake nodded. “That whale wasn’t on the protected list.”

Dad looked unsure that I was processing what they wanted me to understand . . . that even when I wandered off to do my own thing, they were watching over me. “We protected you, Son, because we love you.”

I sat there, wondering how much control I ever really had in the world. But how much did I want? “You never really let me leave, did you?”

“I let you go where you wanted to go, but nothing passed to you that didn’t first pass through me.”

And I knew it to be true because even at my lowest moment, I always felt my dad’s hand on my shoulder.

“Dad?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

Jake, who was leaning against the wall, walked forward, uncrossing his arms. “Okay, we better get this guy back to work before he turns into some sort of sad sack.”

I nodded.

Dad said, “Jake, give us a minute, will you?”

Jake left and Dad stood, put his hands in his pockets, the way he did when he was about to dole out wise advice to me as a kid. “Where do you and Faith stand?”

“She won’t take my calls. I’ve tried everything. I think she’s done with me. I’ll probably get served any day now.”

To my surprise, Dad looked disappointed. Upset, even. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“You are?”

“I am. You and Faith are more alike than you realize. But she’s got a good heart. I hope she finds forgiveness for you, Luke.” Dad returned to his desk. “Your office is set up. Time to focus.”

“Okay.”

I walked out, turned right, and went to find my office. I assumed it was the far back one, near the utility closet. The one nobody wanted. The one I deserved. I walked past the corner office with its bright sky view and its spacious bookshelves. I glimpsed the name on the door.
Luke Carraday
.

How could this be? I nearly ruined the family name and I got a corner office? I reached up to touch the nameplate, to make sure it was real, when my phone rang.

It was Faith’s number. I quickly answered. “Faith?”