Heart of Texas Series Volume 1: Lonesome Cowboy\Texas Two-Step\Caroline's Child (15 page)

Above all, he didn't want her ending up in a sexual situation she wasn't ready for.

When he could endure no more, he abruptly broke off the kiss and rolled away. His shoulders heaved with the strength of will it had taken to leave her.

“Did I do something wrong?” she asked after a moment.

He waited until he'd caught his breath before he answered. “I wouldn't say that.”

“Then why did you stop?”

He closed his eyes. “I don't think you understand—”

“Don't treat me like a child, Laredo. I know exactly what was happening.”

He felt depleted; he hadn't the energy to argue with her. She made him vulnerable. Much more of this kissing would have sent him over the edge. He knew his limits and they'd been reached.

He sat up and smiled. Or at least made the effort to smile. In an attempt to clear his head, he took several deep breaths.

“I called about the repairs to the truck,” he said, not looking at her. He focused on the tree limbs overhead, hoping she realized why he'd abruptly changed the subject.

His announcement was greeted with silence.

“Paul said the parts were in and all he needed was the go-ahead from me.” Laredo paused and waited for a response.

More silence.

Finally she said, “I know what you're doing, Laredo.”

“Do you?” He doubted it.

“You're telling me that you're leaving Promise as soon as you can.”

So she did know, and if she was that smart, she'd probably figure out the rest. “I don't want to hurt you, Savannah.”

“You couldn't,” she said, her voice small. “You've already brought me such incredible happiness. When you do...leave—” she appeared to have trouble saying the word “—don't worry that I'll do anything to stop you. I'm grateful for each day we can be together. Grateful for each moment...each kiss.”

He didn't see it that way. After all, he was the one in
her
debt. “I think we should get back before anyone misses us.” He was strongly tempted to resume their lovemaking, and he couldn't be sure he possessed the determination to resist.

“Not yet,” she pleaded softly. “I left a note in the kitchen so no one'll worry.”

He didn't know what would happen if they kissed again—and didn't think he could afford to find out. He stood, removing himself from temptation.

“Just a few more moments.” She regarded him with such longing he found it impossible to refuse her.

“All right,” he said, and sat back down on the blanket. “But only a few minutes longer. Okay? And no kissing.”

She nodded and thanked him with the sweetest of smiles.

A few minutes soon became two hours. Savannah closed her eyes and was immediately asleep. Laredo wondered if she'd gotten much rest the night before. He knew
he
hadn't. He suspected that the only one who'd enjoyed the luxury of a night's uninterrupted sleep was Richard.

He knew how Savannah felt about her brother and feared it was only a matter of time before Richard disappointed her. Laredo didn't want to see that happen, but he was helpless to protect her.

Uncomfortable with his thoughts, Laredo sat against the tree and watched Savannah, appreciating her gentle beauty. Each minute was a gift; she'd been the one to express that thought, and he, too, had discovered the truth of it.

The world, his mother once told him, had a way of making all things equal. A divine order.
We receive back what we give,
or something along those lines. He hadn't paid close attention at the time and now wished he had. But it seemed to him that meeting Savannah made up for everything that had ever gone wrong in his life. Every broken promise. Every unmet expectation, every unfair act.

But why did he have to meet her
now?
He snapped off a blade of grass and chewed on the end. Why would he meet this woman—and fall in love with her—when he had nothing to offer but hardship?

Laredo loved Savannah; he'd admitted that early on. He loved her enough to leave her, rather than ask her to scrimp and sacrifice with him. She deserved far better. He refused to cheat her of the comfort and certitude that were her right.

***

Ellie Frasier was busy in the back room dealing with a shipment from one of her main suppliers when Richard Weston strolled in. He wore a crisp pair of jeans, his fancy boots and brand-new Stetson, and looked more like a country singer than a rancher.

“So this is where you've been hiding yourself,” he said. He gazed at her boldly, eyes roaming from her hair to her booted feet, letting her know without words that he liked what he saw. Ellie wasn't opposed to a bit of flattery now and again. Lord knew Glen and the other men in her life were damned stingy with their appreciation.

It had come as a shock to see Richard again after all these years. At first she hadn't recognized him. As a schoolgirl she'd had a crush on him. Richard Weston had been an “older” man, both handsome and charming. That much hadn't changed.

“I thought I'd let you take me to lunch,” he said, glancing over her shoulder to read the clipboard.

“I don't have time today.” She wouldn't have minded spending her lunch break with him, but she was simply too busy. She'd taken on her father's responsibilities, as well as handling her own. Glen had suggested she hire someone to look after the books, and while she knew he was right, she'd delayed.

“You could use some time off,” Richard said, evidently disappointed she'd refused him. “And I'd love the company.”

“I wish I could.”

“Come on,” he said. “It'll do you good.” He sent her an appealing boyish grin. “I can be a fun guy, you know.”

“I noticed.” Ellie didn't bother to disguise her smile. The welcome-home party had been just the tonic her sinking spirits needed. The pressures of holding down the feed store and the worries over her father's health had exhausted her.

Glen stopped off a couple of times a week to offer moral support. He was her best friend, and his down-to-earth humor had gone a long way to bolster her courage and resolve. At Richard's party she'd relaxed and enjoyed herself for the first time in weeks. She'd danced with Glen and with Richard—and Richard had even kissed her. It was the closest thing to a date she'd had in months.

“Maybe I will escape for an hour or so,” she said, surprising herself. “The world won't come to an end without me.”

“Great.” A smile lit up his handsome face.

Not too often was a woman given the opportunity to realize her schoolgirl dreams, Ellie mused. Okay, so she'd been fifteen and impressionable, but Richard Weston had been by far the most attractive boy in Promise. There hadn't been a girl in school who wouldn't have given...whatever for the chance to go out with him. Richard had played it cool, though. He'd never dated one girl for any length of time. In that sense he hadn't changed; he must be close to thirty now and had yet to settle down.

“Where do you want to go?” he asked.

Seeing as there were very few restaurants in town, Ellie didn't figure there were many options. “You choose.”

“How about your house?” He leaned close enough for her to catch a whiff of his musk-scented aftershave.

“My house?”

“Sure, we can rustle up something for lunch and then snuggle on the sofa for a while and talk about old times.”

He had a smile that would charm a snake. “What old times?” Ellie asked.

“We can make that part up as we go along.” His voice fell, heavy with suggestion.

“Richard!” The man was a blatant flirt.

“Why not?”

“First, I'm the world's worst cook. Trust me, you wouldn't want to eat anything I've made myself. Second, snuggling up on the sofa, tempting as it sounds, is the last thing I have time for.”

“I bet I could convince you otherwise.”

“Really?” This guy was too much. She shook her head and tossed the clipboard on a shelf facedown. “And just how do you intend to do that?”

He grinned that boyish grin again and reached for her hand, tugging her after him.

“Hey, where are we going?”

“Someplace private—where I can show you what I mean.” He looked furtively around, then pulled her inside the office and closed the door.

“Richard?”

The next thing she knew he had her pinned against the wall. He'd kissed her at the party; she'd enjoyed the attention—and the kiss hadn't been bad, either. Maybe it was just what she'd needed to revive her energy and enthusiasm. All work and no play had dulled her senses, but Richard Weston had brought them back to life.

His kiss now was deep and sultry. By the time he lifted his head from hers, Ellie's knees felt weak.

“How was that?” he asked.

“Not bad.” Her reply was breathless, despite her effort to sound casual. Her hands were flattened against the wall behind her, as if to prop her up. She took a deep breath. Her emotions must be in a sorry state, indeed. In fact, everything in her life seemed to be in a constant state of upheaval.

“There's a lot more where that came from,” he promised. He ran the tip of his index finger down the V of her shirt, trailing it lower, close to the curve of her breast.

“Unfortunately,” she said, slapping his hand away, “I can't squeeze an affair into my busy schedule.”

“Where there's a will there's a way.”

“Richard, please, I'm flattered but—”

He interrupted her with a second kiss. This one wet and seductive and a little too rough.

Ellie couldn't believe she was allowing this to continue. What she'd said was true—she was flattered, but she wasn't one to indulge in casual sex. Or casual anything.

“I've got responsibilities.”

“Don't we all?”

“Richard!”

“That's my name and I certainly like to hear you say it, but not quite like that.” His hands massaged her tired shoulders. Against every dictate of her will, Ellie closed her eyes.

“I want you to whisper my name when we're in bed...”

She gasped. “I can't believe you're actually serious!”

“I've never been more serious. I thought about you when I was away...and I wondered if you were married. I'm glad you're not.”

“You didn't even know who I was!”

“Are you kidding? Believe me, I knew, but a guy can get arrested for thinking the way I did about you back then.”

Ellie recognized a lie when she heard one. “I appreciate the offer, I truly do, and if I have a vacancy anytime soon, I'll give you a call.”

“Hey, don't be hasty here. We were going to lunch, remember?”

A loud knock sounded on the office door. “Ellie, are you in there?”

Glen Patterson. Arriving like the cavalry the minute she needed rescuing. His timing couldn't have been better.

“Come on in,” she called, moving toward the door.

Glen let himself inside and frowned when he saw Richard.

“I was trying to talk Ellie into getting away for an hour or so. To have lunch,” Richard explained, his smile as friendly as if they'd been involved in harmless conversation instead of a kiss.

It might have helped if Glen had displayed a shred of jealousy, but he didn't. “Good idea,” he said, glancing at Ellie. “You need to get out more.”

“I can't today. Maybe some other time,” she said, and scampered past the two men.

Ten minutes later Glen found her in the storeroom going through the order. “Richard's gone?” she asked.

“Yeah. He hasn't changed much, has he?”

“How do you mean?”

Glen didn't answer until she glanced up from the clipboard.

“He's a wheeler-dealer.”

“So I noticed,” she said with a chuckle. She fanned her face and deliberately expelled a breath.

“Hey, what does that mean?”

“What do you
think
it means?”

Glen thought about that for a moment, and either didn't get it or wasn't willing to say it out loud.

“Let's put it like this,” Ellie said. “Richard Weston was interested in a whole lot more than lunch.”

Glen's eyes widened considerably.

“Why does that shock you? Does it surprise you to realize other men might look on me as more than one of the guys?”

Again he took his time responding. “Not really. You're about the best damn friend I've ever had. And you're game for just about anything.”

“Within limits,” she said, thinking of Richard's proposal.

“Within limits,” Glen agreed, then laughed. “Hell, maybe it isn't such a bad idea, after all.”

“You and me?”

He looked stunned. “Hell, no. You and Richard.”

Nine

S
unday morning Maggie slipped into Savannah's pew and leaned against her just as Wade McMillen approached the pulpit. Slipping an arm around the child, Savannah pulled her close, acknowledging just how much she'd come to love her friend's daughter. They'd formed a special bond, and it wasn't unusual for Maggie to sit with Savannah during church services.

A talented speaker, Wade often used humor in his sermons. The theme of this morning's talk revolved around the opportunities God presented. Savannah found herself laughing along with the rest of the congregation as Wade relayed the story of a man stuck on a rooftop in a flash flood.

Three times a rescue team had come for him, and each time the man insisted that God would provide. The man died and went to heaven and confronted the Lord, demanding to know why his faith had gone unanswered.

“I sent the Red Cross, a boat and a helicopter,” God told him. “What more could I have done?”

Wade had a way of communicating truth without being obtrusive, dogmatic or self-righteous. Savannah often wondered why he remained unmarried when any number of eligible young women in Promise would have been thrilled to be his wife. It was a frequent source of interest, gossip and speculation at any gathering of church members.

Maggie squirmed as the sermon drew to a close. She smiled up at Savannah and silently turned the pages of her hymnal, waiting until the choir stood to sing and she could see her mother.

The love she felt for this child poured through Savannah's heart, and with it a desire so deep and so long denied that it bordered on pain. Until she'd met Laredo, she'd relinquished the dream of ever becoming a bride—and, of course, along with that, a mother.

The yearning to bear a child of her own burned in her heart now. She closed her eyes and her mind instantly filled with the image of a young boy of five or six. He was dressed in jeans, a shirt, hat and boots, a miniature version of Laredo. The child trailed after him as they headed toward the corral. Father and son. Their child, hers and Laredo's. The thought moved her so strongly, she battled back a sudden urge to weep. Savannah felt a thrill of pure happiness at the sheer wonder of having found Laredo.

What a wonderful husband and father he'd be. Laredo had been patient and gentle with Maggie from the first, while Grady groped clumsily in his effort to make friends with the little girl. Laredo was a natural with children, and it was easy to imagine him surrounded by a whole brood of them.

Most important of all Laredo loved her. She was confident of that. Not that he openly confessed his feelings. But Savannah didn't need a formal declaration or flowery words to know how he felt. A hundred times, more, he'd shown her his feelings.

Laredo was protective of her, his manner traditional in the very best way. He was thoughtful and considerate, sensitive to her moods and needs. As far as Savannah was concerned, his actions spoke far more eloquently than anything he could ever say. Last week, for instance, while she was working on the design for her catalog, he'd brought in a cup of coffee, set it on the desk beside her, kissed her cheek and silently left the room. Another day he'd seen her carrying a heavy load of laundry outside to hang on the clothesline, and he'd rushed to her side and carried it for her.

Wiley had teased Laredo unmercifully that day, pretending he was in dire need of assistance, mincing around and flapping his hands in a ridiculous imitation of a woman in distress. Laredo had paid no attention to his antics.

After the Sunday service was dismissed, Caroline met Savannah in the front of the church. “I thought you said Richard was coming with you this morning,” her friend said.

“I thought he would.” Savannah was deeply disappointed in her younger brother. Grady was barely speaking to her, which was nothing new, and all because she continued to champion her brother's cause. Despite Richard's reprehensible actions, he
was
their brother. No matter what he'd done, she wouldn't allow Grady to throw him off the ranch. He had nowhere else to go. He'd told her he was still waiting for the money that was supposed to be in the mail; he seemed so sure it would be arriving any day. Because she believed him—
had
to believe him—she'd lent him money herself, although she didn't let Grady or Laredo know that.

“Do you think he's ever going to change?” Caroline asked. “I'm just so afraid that if you trust him, you might be setting yourself up for heartache.”

“He's my brother,” Savannah said simply. She was convinced that their mother, had she been alive, wouldn't have allowed Grady to kick Richard out, either.

“There's something different about you,” Caroline said when she reached her car.

“Different?” Although she formed the word as a question, Savannah knew what Caroline meant. And it was true. She wasn't the same woman she'd been as little as a month ago. “I'm happy,” she said, blushing profusely. “Really truly happy.”

“Laredo?” Caroline asked.

Savannah lowered her eyes and nodded.

“I like Laredo,” Maggie announced. “And Richard.”

“What about Grady?” Caroline coaxed her daughter.

Maggie pinched her lips together tightly. “Grady's...okay, I guess, but he yells too much.”

“I don't think she's forgiven him for shouting at her over the phone. I've tried to explain that he's—”

“A beast like from
Beauty and the Beast,
” Maggie supplied. “I don't care if he
is
a handsome prince. When he yells I have to cover my ears.”

“Oh, Maggie,” Savannah whispered, feeling wretched. “Grady likes you very much and wants to be your friend, too.”

“Then he shouldn't shout at me on the phone,” she said in an eminently reasonable tone.

Savannah wanted to shake Grady. She didn't know what had possessed him to explode at Maggie. His only excuse, weak as it was, had something to do with not knowing who was on the other end of the line.

It was getting to the point that she barely knew what to think of her own brother. She wasn't sure who'd changed the most in the past few weeks, Grady or her. She knew having Richard around troubled him, and while Grady talked about throwing Richard out, she sensed that he struggled with what was right the same way she did. Richard was a charmer, but of the two men, Grady was the one with heart.

“Would you like to join us for dinner?” Savannah asked her friends, thinking it might help Maggie feel more comfortable with Grady. “I've got a huge roast in the oven, and fresh strawberry shortcake.”

“Mmm.” Maggie licked her lips. “Strawberries are my favorite.” Wide-eyed, she looked up at her mother.

“Not today, Savannah. I'll take a rain check.”

“But Mommy...”

Maggie's disappointment was a soothing balm to Savannah's own. Since the phone incident Caroline hadn't been out to the ranch. Whenever Savannah suggested she visit, her friend came up with a convenient excuse, or in this instance, just a polite refusal. It bothered Savannah and she hoped the uneasiness between Grady and Maggie would soon resolve itself.

When Savannah arrived back at the ranch, she discovered Richard sitting on the porch, strumming his guitar and singing softly. He stopped and waved when she pulled into the yard, then strolled over to the truck.

“Where were you all morning?” he asked as if her disappearance had worried him.

“Church. I thought you said you were coming with me.”

“I would've if you'd woken me up.”

“You're an adult, Richard.”

His fingers stilled, the pick poised above the guitar strings. “You're not angry with me, are you?”

She sighed. “No.”

He grinned boyishly and continued his song while Savannah went into the house. She set her Bible aside and checked the oven. The noonday meal was the primary one on Sundays. In the evening they all fended for themselves, giving Savannah time to pursue her own interests.

An hour later Savannah served the roast, and dished up hot-from-the-oven buttermilk biscuits, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, a large green salad and strawberry shortcake for dessert. The meal vanished in minutes with lavish compliments from Richard and quiet appreciation from Laredo, Wiley and Grady.

Everyone disappeared afterward, leaving Savannah to herself. The afternoon was lovely, the sky blue and bright, the sun warm without the intense heat of summer. Spring was Savannah's favorite time of year. After spending an hour in her garden, she arranged a vase of roses and set them in the kitchen, allowing their fragrance to fill the room.

When she'd finished, she picked up her knitting and sat on the porch, Rocket stretched out beside her. There was silence all around her, except for the soughing of wind in the greening trees and the occasional distant sound of traffic from the highway. Without informing anyone of his plans, Richard had disappeared. Grady had vanished into his office to catch up on some reading and Wiley was visiting his widow friend in Brewster. She didn't know where Laredo had gone, but she hoped he'd join her, as he often did.

Enjoying the Sunday-afternoon tranquillity, Savannah lazily worked the yarn and needles. It didn't take long for Wade McMillen's message to make its way into her thoughts.
God-given opportunities.
She mulled over the opportunities that had recently come her way. Quickly, inevitably, Laredo sprang to her mind.

Deeply absorbed in her thoughts, she wasn't aware of his approach until he stepped onto the porch.

“It's a lovely afternoon, isn't it?” she said, delighted when he claimed the empty rocker beside hers. For as long as she could remember, her parents had sat in these very chairs, side by side, lifelong companions, lovers and friends.

Laredo watched her hands moving the needles and the yarn. “My mother knits, too,” he said.

“My grandmother was the one who taught me.” She reached for the pattern book and showed him the cardigan she was making for Maggie. The needles clicked gently as she returned to her task.

“Church this morning was great,” she went on. “I enjoy Wade's sermons.” She told him about the man in the flood, and Laredo laughed at the punch line, just as she knew he would. Someday she hoped Laredo would attend services with her, but she hadn't had the courage to ask him. Not yet.

Courage. She'd missed opportunity after opportunity in her life because she was afraid. Afraid of what, exactly, she didn't know. No more, she decided then and there.

“Wade got me to thinking,” she said. If she didn't tell Laredo what was in her heart now, she'd always regret letting this opportunity slip by. She used her knitting as an excuse to avoid eye contact.

“Thinking?”

“About the opportunities that have come into my life...lately.”

Laredo leaned back in the rocker and relaxed, closing his eyes.

“I've never dated much,” she said. “I suppose it shows, doesn't it?”

He lifted his hat brim enough to look at her. “It's not a disadvantage, if that's what you're asking.”

She
felt
at a disadvantage, though, talking to him about such things, but forged ahead anyway. “It's a bit of a detriment,” she said, trying to disguise the trembling in her voice. Her heart beat so fast she felt nearly breathless.

“I wouldn't want to change anything about you, Savannah.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, encouraged by his response.

He apparently thought their conversation was over, because he sat back in the chair once more, stretched out his legs and lowered the brim of his hat.

“There's something I need to say and I'm not sure how to go about it.” Her fingers felt clammy and stiff, and she let the knitting lie idle in her lap as she composed her thoughts.

“You can tell me anything, you know that.”

Despite the turbulent pounding of her heart, Savannah felt a sense of calm. “Since I don't have much experience in this kind of situation, I hope you'll forgive me for speaking frankly.”

She had his attention now, and he lifted the brim of his Stetson with one finger. “Situation?”

Gripping the knitting needles tightly, she continued, “I need to know if there's a proper way for a lady to speak of certain...matters with a gentleman. Matters of the heart,” she added nervously.

Laredo's position didn't alter, but she thought she saw him stiffen. “That part I wouldn't know.”

“I see.” Her mouth grew dry with anxiety.

An awkward silence followed while she carefully weighed her words. “Considering that you seem to be as much at a loss as I am, perhaps the best way to discuss this would be in a straightforward manner. My mother used to say, ‘Nothing works better than the truth.'”

“Savannah...”

He tried to stop her, but she wouldn't let him, not while she had the courage to go on. Inhaling deeply, she began to speak. “I love you, Laredo. My heart's so full, some days I don't think I can contain all this joy. I want to thank you, to let you know how grateful I am to have met you.”

Her words appeared to stun him. Slowly Laredo sat upright and stared straight ahead, not responding to her words at all. If they'd brought him any pleasure, he wasn't letting it show.

She waited, her hands trembling now at the bold thing she'd said. “Perhaps I've spoken out of turn, but it seems that when a woman loves a man she—”

“Savannah,” he interrupted quietly. “Don't say any more. Please.”

The color of acute embarrassment erupted in her cheeks. “Is saying I love you improper?”

“There's nothing improper about you. It's me.”

“You?” She was utterly confused, completely on edge. She feared what would happen next.

“I'm not the right man for you.”

The relief was so great she nearly laughed aloud. “Oh, Laredo, how can you say such a thing? Nobody's ever been more right for me in my entire life.”