Heart in Hand: Stitches in Time Series #3 (25 page)

“Wherever you want is fine,” she said before he could suggest someplace else.

Gideon wondered if it was a good sign that she was being agreeable. But she didn’t smile and didn’t say anything. He didn’t think that boded well for their discussion.

They spread a quilt on the grass. He put sandwiches he knew were her favorites and a pile of potato chips on paper plates. But she didn’t eat.

His mouth suddenly dry, Gideon twisted off the cap on a bottle of water and drank. Okay, this wasn’t going to be easy. But it had to be done.

“Anna, I’m sorry for what I said last week,” he said simply. Taking off his hat, he ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve been feeling restless lately. It didn’t seem that things were moving as fast as I was hoping. So I figured you were holding back because you weren’t ready.”

“Gideon, we talked about taking things slowly right at the start.”

“I know.”

“And even when everything was moving smoothly and we were madly . . .” she hesitated, then lifted her chin and looked at him directly, “even if we were madly in love, we couldn’t get married until the fall, after the harvest.”

“I know.”

“You hurt me,” she blurted out. “You decided something about me that wasn’t true based on what someone said about me. That wasn’t fair. You told me. You didn’t ask.”

“You’re right.”

“One person’s not supposed to be the sole decider in a relationship.”

He hadn’t ever heard the word
decider
used before, but what he remembered of her in school was that she loved to read. Besides, he knew what she meant. He’d decided—he’d assumed—something that day when he’d
told
and not
asked
if she went to the cemetery to visit Samuel’s grave often.

That assuming . . . suddenly he thought he might know how to get her to forgive him.

“I made an assumption,” he told her, emphasizing the first the three letters in the word. “So we know what I made of myself.”

He saw the corners of her mouth lift just a little. But then she pressed her lips together, and he knew she wasn’t going to let him off the hook so easily.

“You always were good at charming your way out of things.”

“Just our teacher. Not Mary. She didn’t let me get away with anything. And I can tell you won’t, either.”

She lowered her eyes, then looked out at the pond. “You talked about feeling restless. About being impatient. Maybe it’s because you should date someone else.”

“
What
?”

“Maybe you should date someone else.”

“Why would I want to do that?” Feeling panic rise up inside him, Gideon searched her face, trying desperately to understand what was going on.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” she told him. “Maybe you’re feeling restless because things aren’t going as well as you’d hoped, and you’re worried you won’t have someone to marry in the fall.”

“Now don’t go putting words in my mouth!” His voice was sharper than he wanted it to be, but he couldn’t help it.

She smiled slightly. “How does it feel?”

He scowled. “That’s not funny.”

“Can you understand how it felt to have someone just decide?”

“I didn’t think,” he admitted.

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” she said quietly. “I wouldn’t let you think I cared about you and still be pining for Samuel.” She sighed. “You know there’s never a point where you say to yourself that you’re over someone you love and you’re ready to
move on. But I did open my heart to you, Gideon, and it feels like you just handed it back.”

She got to her feet and walked down to the water’s edge, standing there with her arms wrapped around herself.

Her words hung in the air between them, damning him. He sensed that what he said next would make all the difference between them, and it terrified him. She’d said he was good at getting out of trouble, and he had been when he was younger and got into trouble at school.

But he wasn’t as charming, as glib as she thought—at least not as she seemed to think. Maybe he’d settled down a bit because he’d married Mary and they’d made a home on the farm and started a family. Losing Mary had shaken him to the core, sobering him, making him appreciate the life they’d created together. Making him know that he wanted the joy and yes, even marriage again.

But Anna hadn’t seen that side of him. They’d bonded in the beginning over shared pain of losing a spouse and her helping him figure out how to deal with Sarah Rose’s difficulty with losing her mother.

Then he’d wanted to get past that and be a couple starting their own story. Their late spouses would always be a part of them, but it was time to write a new chapter.

He wondered whether he’d been a little jealous of Samuel, wanting Anna to think only of him once they started dating. So he’d jumped to the conclusion that she’d been visiting Samuel’s grave often. He was surprised that she hadn’t said he had a double standard—he visited Mary’s, but maybe she realized that lately it was more for Sarah Rose’s sake so that she could leave cards and flowers for her mother.

Gideon got to his feet and walked down to join her. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “It wasn’t fair of me to question whether
you’re ready to be dating. You’re right—you wouldn’t do that to me or to Sarah Rose.”

He held out his hand, hoping she’d take it. To his relief, she did, although he sensed her reluctance.

“And I don’t want to hear any more about maybe I should date someone else,” he said. “You’re the one for me. I’m going to prove it to you.”

When he saw her eyes widen with surprise, he knew he was going to win her trust again.

And there could be no more worthy pursuit.

“I can climb up myself,” Sarah Rose told him as he lifted her into the buggy. “I’m a big girl.”

“You are,” he agreed. “But let your
daedi
enjoy helping you. After all, your hands are full carrying that basket and your tote. By the way, what do you have in it?” It was too small for her knitting—that was why she had the tote bag slung over her shoulder.

“Kitty is going with us to the store,” Sarah Rose told him. “I put a ball of yarn in the basket for her so she could play with it while we knit.”

He didn’t know what to say. No matter how he’d talked to her she was firm in her belief that she had a new kitten. She talked to it, played with it, even said she was taking it to bed with her at night. Since it was imaginary, he could hardly tell her she couldn’t tuck it in with her under her quilt . . .

And he couldn’t tell her the kitten couldn’t go into the shop, either.

Anna just smiled when he came into the back room where she was taking a break before the lesson.

“I think that’s sweet,” she told him, pouring him a mug of coffee before she turned back to stir a pan of hot chocolate.

“What’s sweet?” asked Thelma. “Other than that adorable little girl of yours, Gideon.”

She nodded when Anna held up the coffee pot, silently asking Thelma if she wanted a cup.

He rolled his eyes. “Well, thank you, but she’s a bit mischievous this past week. She’s decided she has a kitten.”

“Oh, well, that’s nice. It’s good for a child to have a pet. Teaches them responsibility.”

Anna chuckled. “It’s an imaginary one. Gideon doesn’t want her to have a kitten yet.”

“Oh, I see,” Thelma said. “Well, one of my kids had an imaginary pet, too. But as I remember it, it was a dragon, and my son said it ran away about six months after it moved into his room.”

She poured a generous amount of cream into her coffee and turned. “Well, hello, Sarah Rose.”

“Hello,” the girl said politely. “Anna, can I have some hot chocolate?”

“May I?” her father prompted automatically.

“May I?”

“Of course. I’ve already started it for you.”

Thelma sneezed. She plucked up a paper napkin from the coffee tray and dabbed at her nose.

“God bless you,” Anna, Gideon, and Sarah Rose told her.

“Achoo! Achoo!” Thelma said loudly.

“Goodness, are you all right?” Anna asked her.

Thelma nodded. “Why, yes,” she said, nodding. “Hmm. I don’t usually sneeze like this except when there’s a cat around. I’m allergic, you know.”

Anna and Gideon exchanged a look. “No, I didn’t know,” Anna told her.

Sarah Rose moved the basket she was carrying in one hand to behind her back.

“Well, I’m going to go sit down out in the shop,” Thelma said. “Lettie’s here and I’m dying to find out how her vacation was.”

Anna set the cup of hot chocolate on the table for Sarah Rose. “Be careful. It’s hot.”

Nodding, Sarah Rose took a seat and blew on the hot drink, smiling when her breath made the little marshmallows Anna had added bob and swirl around on the surface.

A few minutes later, after the three of them had finished their hot drinks, Sarah Rose stood. “I’m going to leave Kitty here, so Thelma won’t sneeze.”

Anna and Gideon looked at each other, and he nodded. “Good idea.”

They waited until she walked out of the room and then turned to each other and laughed.

“
Kinner
,” said Gideon.

“
Kinner
,” she agreed.

He reached for her hand and held it, smiling at her until Leah came into the room to tell them that all of the class had arrived.

17

Anna!”

She glanced up from her knitting to see where the voice was coming from.

“Anna!”

Getting up, Anna walked toward the front display window where she found Naomi kneeling inside.

“An—oh, there you are!”

“Why are you yelling?”

Naomi grinned. “Didn’t know where you were.”

“So instead of going to look for me . . .”

“Hey, I’m tired. I saved myself some steps by not going to look for you. It’s been a long week helping Nick with some paperwork for his business. Do you have the knit caps for the display window?”

“I’ll get them. I just finished another one last night.” She went for the box and returned with them. “You decide which ones to use. I can’t. I don’t know if I like the ones with the bunny ears or the cupcake hats better.”

“Let’s do some of both.” Naomi handed her a doll they used to display the hats in the window. “Has Mary Katherine come in yet?”

Anna shook her head. “She had a doctor appointment this morning, remember? She should be here soon.”

“Can you help me?”

“Sure.”

They worked together to place Mary Katherine’s woven vests—perfect for
Englisch
women to wear for warmth over blouses and turtlenecks. Naomi had made several special quilts that were lighter weight and a couple of tote bags with a quilt square on the front. Anna’s baby hats that looked like little cupcakes were always popular, but she added more of the little Easter-themed hats after the few she’d knitted last year had sold quickly. The little hats with bunny ears were quick and easy to knit, and she enjoyed thinking about the babies and toddlers who’d wear them.

Naomi sat back on her heels in the bay window. “Mary Katherine should have been back by now.”

“I know.” Anna frowned, then she turned to pick up the fabric wall hangings Jamie had made that were like little seasonal pictures composed of fabric scraps.

“Here are the new dolls I promised you for the window,” Leah announced. She handed over a box filled with them and glanced at the contents of the window. “Nice work. Should get the attention of people walking past.”

The bell over the door rang as a customer walked in. Leah hurried over to help her.

“How’s Gideon?”

“Fine. Busy with spring planting. I haven’t seen much of him lately.”

Naomi touched her arm. “Is everything okay?”

“Fine. I’m just taking things slowly. It’s a big step.”

“You don’t have to tell me that.”

Anna went still. “Should I be asking you if everything is all right?”

“With Nick and me? Yes, things are great.” She smiled. “He’s sweet and thoughtful and very gentle with me. Nothing like John.”

It was a narrow miss
, Anna thought as she watched her cousin arrange her grandmother’s dolls in the window. Naomi had almost convinced herself that she had to stay with her former fiancé even though he was showing signs that he’d be an abusive
mann
.

“How did you do it?”

Naomi’s eyebrows went up. “Do what? Break things off with John or marry Nick?”

“Both.”

“I wasn’t willing to be in an abusive marriage,” Naomi said. “I deserve more than that.”

“But it can’t have been easy to trust after being with someone like John.”

“It wasn’t. You know that. It took a long time.”

“Are you having trouble trusting, Anna?”

Anna’s mouth nearly dropped open. She shouldn’t have been surprised at her cousin’s perception. The three of them had always been closer to each other than the many cousins in the family.

Looking up, Anna met Naomi’s concerned gaze. “Yes.” She sighed. “It’s hard when it was Samuel and me for so long.” She hesitated. “I think Gideon’s concerned that I’m not ready for a relationship yet. That I’m not over Samuel.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “I hate when people talk like you can ever be over someone who was such an important part of your life! How can you be? They’ll always be a part of it. You just learn that you have to go on. You have to find a way to live without them.”