#Heart (Hashtag #6) (7 page)

So the fact that he was out late racing last night wasn’t anything new. But Trent’s reaction was.

“Yeah, got a last-minute call with an invite, so I went.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Trent swore.

I glanced at B and our eyes met. What was this about?

“Because it was late. You have class this morning. Figured I could handle it.”

Trent pushed off the island. “After all the shit we’ve heard, you go in there alone, without anyone to watch your back?”

Whoa. What?

“Wait, are you saying where you went last night was dangerous?” I shut the fridge door and turned.

“No,” Drew answered, but at the same time, Trent said, “Yes.”

Drew’s eyes narrowed and he gave Trent a clear warning look. He straightened from the island, set aside his coffee, and looked at me. “Everything’s fine, sis. Don’t get all worked up about nothing.”

“Trent doesn’t seem to think it’s nothing.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Trent’s just pissed he didn’t get to see me leave all the other drivers in my dust last night.” Drew’s face turned cocky.

“You won?” Trent asked, shifting a little closer, interest in his tone.

“Smoked em’,” Drew drawled.

“You should’ve called, man,” Trent said low.

Why did he not seem as happy as Drew about this win? Usually, the pair were goofing off and talking shit about my brother’s mad skills.

“I can handle myself,” Drew said tight. Then he looked back at me and smiled. “Don’t you worry about me, Ives. Trent’s just acting like a damn woman.”

Trent either didn’t hear the remark or ignored it as he helped himself to the coffee and cream. Braeden was inhaling his bowl of cereal, no doubt just absorbing the currents running through the room, and Prada was dancing at the back door.

Once she was out, I went back to the fridge and looked around some more.

Romeo and Rimmel came into the kitchen, both of them heading straight for the coffee. Seconds later, Romeo was in front of the fridge, reaching past me for the cream. Before stepping away, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to my hairline.

“How ya doing, princess?”

“I was fine ‘til ya called me princess,” I muttered and looked up at him.

His showed me his teeth with an ornery smile. Then his face turned serious. His voice was low. “All good?”

He was checking in after our talk this morning. And if I was guessing right, he wanted to make sure I knew he was here and he was keeping an eye on me in case I needed anything.

It was really sweet, and I appreciated it.

“Yeah,” I replied quietly. “All good.”

He nodded, satisfied, and then glanced up. His body reacted slightly, and I noticed we’d been standing so close together.

Everyone was staring at us.

Including Braeden.

I felt my cheeks heat, embarrassed for some unknown reason. It was like I got caught doing something I shouldn’t have.

“What?” I said to everyone and no one.

“Did he just call you princess?” Drew cracked.

I groaned. “Don’t even think about it, Drew. I will sneak in your room and shave your eyebrows.”

“Harsh,” he muttered and went to sit by Braeden. “You better sleep with one eye open. Shaving eyebrows is just a gateway into more disturbing behavior. You could wake up with no hair at all, or worse.” He leaned over and whispered loudly, “Missing parts!”

Braeden’s eyes had been bouncing between Romeo and me, but his lips curved up at Drew’s horrific words. He glanced at my brother and drawled, “I think she likes my parts where they are.”

“Dude!” Drew groaned. “I can’t unhear that!”

Braeden smirked and put his dishes in the sink. Prada was at the door, so he let her in and then made his way to my side. “What are you looking for in there?” he asked in my ear.

I shivered at the feel of his warm breath against my ear. “I want some orange juice,” I announced.

It was so random it made even me pause. I hadn’t even realized that’s what I’d been looking for until I said it.

Braeden shifted around so he could look at me. “You never drink orange juice.”

I shrugged. “I want some. We don’t have any,” I said, forlorn.

He laughed. In fact, most everyone in the room did.

Why it was so funny, I didn’t know. I was sort of irritated we didn’t have any.

“Sorry, princess. I drank the last of it the other day. Didn’t know you’d want some,” Romeo said, amused.

I felt Braeden react to Romeo’s nickname for me. It wasn’t so much a physical reaction, but a shift in the energy between us.

I glanced up at him, worried he was upset.

“I got time before class. C’mon, I’ll take you to the store.” He brushed his thumb across my cheek.

“Really?” The eagerness in my voice was apparent.

B was clearly amused. His mouth lifted in half a smile even if his eyes seemed a little bewildered. “Anything for you, Blondie.”

I rushed to get my coat, the promise of OJ just too good to deny. I was pulling it on and wrapping a dark-blue scarf around my neck when B appeared at the front door, wearing his Alpha U jacket with his keys in hand.

I thought for a moment he was going to ask me about Romeo. About the way we seemed maybe a little bit closer this morning.

But he didn’t ask.

And I wondered why.

Braeden

After classes, I went to the team’s gym on campus and worked out hard. I thought I didn’t have the energy for a workout like that today. I’d been fucking tired lately, but the tension in my body needed an outlet.

So I gave it one.

After I showered and changed, I realized I was running late for the meeting I had with Anthony. I drove straight from campus to Rome’s place (he might not live there anymore, but it would always be his place to me) and parked the truck right beside the Hellcat. It had been running shitty lately. I knew it was because of the sugar Zach poured in the gas tank. It didn’t matter that I’d taken all the lines out and flushed them, made sure everything was clean. It just wasn’t the same.

I curled my lip in disgust. The guy was dead, yet he was still causing trouble.

The slamming of a nearby car door caught my attention, and I looked up. Romeo had been sitting in the Cat, waiting.

“What the hell you doing out here?” I walked to the back of his car where he met me on the pavement.

“Waiting for you.”

“You couldn’t do that in the house?”

The tension between us was palpable. The easy way we always had with each other was there, but it was overshadowed by a conversation we’d yet to have.

“I wanted to talk to you. Alone,” Romeo replied.

“Yeah,” I said, feeling my hackles rise. “I want to talk to you, too.”

Romeo’s eyes narrowed. “You got an issue?”

“Apparently, we both do.”

The door to the house opened, and Rome’s mom stuck her head outside. “What are you boys doing out here in the cold?” she called.

Whatever was bothering Romeo seemed to drain right out of him. The air around us seemed to clear some, aside from the irritation I was projecting.

“Coming!” Romeo yelled.

He turned back to me. “Look, let’s do this first,” he said, motioning toward the house. “We can talk after.”

I shrugged and started past him.

“B.”

I stopped but didn’t turn around.

“I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was sitting out here just waiting for a fight. I’m not. I just wanted to talk.”

“You want to tell me why you kissed my girl this morning in the kitchen?” I asked, swinging around to face him.

Fucker actually suppressed a smile. “Someone’s jealous.”

“Fuck you,” I spat.

A chuckle slipped from between his lips, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Frankly, I’m offended,” he said mildly. “You know I’m engaged.”

“You and I both know if I thought that little kiss and nickname you pulled on my girl this morning was anything other than brotherly love, I’d be pounding your ass right now.” I couldn’t stop the half smile from forcing the corners of my mouth upward.

“Now you know how I feel when I see you with Rim.”

I felt my eyes narrow. “That was some kind of payback? A lesson? You’re my bro, man, but not even you can treat Ivy like some weapon.”

Romeo rubbed a hand over his head and swore. “Fuck, you’re prickly today.”

I just stared him down. Yeah. Maybe I was being an asshole. I didn’t much feel like being any other way right now.

He sighed. “I just thought Ivy could use a little extra… support this morning. That’s what family’s for.”

Concern delivered a swift uppercut to my asshole nature. “Why? Something wrong with her?” I pulled my phone out of my jeans, thinking about calling her.

Romeo stepped forward and put his hand over my phone, pushing the screen down. “She’s fine. I talked to her early this morning.”

And then I understood. She wasn’t in bed when I woke up. She’d been with him. “She told you.” The words sounded hollow to my own ears. Shame burned the back of my neck.

“She didn’t tell me anything.” Rome corrected, his voice a little harder, like he really wanted me to listen. “We just had a conversation.”

“Roman Anderson, Braeden James!” Moms yelled across the yard. “Your father is waiting!”

“Aww, shit,” I drawled, smiling. “She’s pulling out middle names. She means business.”

Romeo laughed. “Come on. If we don’t listen, you know she’ll find some way to punish us.”

“Grown-ass men and we’re still being bossed by our mothers,” I said, forlorn.

We walked toward the house, side by side. I definitely didn’t feel as on guard as I did just minutes ago. If anything, I felt a little relieved.

Maybe some time with my best friend was exactly what I needed.

Ivy

The warm, rich sent of coffee was welcome as I stepped into LOTUS and out of the cold. The coffee shop wasn’t busy, but it wasn’t empty either. It was afternoon, the time when a lot of people were finishing up classes and would start filtering in to get an afternoon pick-me-up.

I could use one. I stepped up in the line and perused the menu, even though I already knew everything they served. The line moved up, and I went with it. When the door opened behind me, I glanced around, thinking it might be Rimmel, but it wasn’t.

She was probably running a little late. I decided to just order for her; that way she wouldn’t have to stand in line when she arrived. Then we could get right down to girl talk.

Rimmel and I lived together, but we didn’t get as much talk in as we used to in the dorm. Living with three guys made it hard to get exclusive girl time. Not that I was complaining. I liked living in a full house. I hadn’t realized how much I missed it until I moved into the place Romeo rented us all and was suddenly surrounded again.

It was funny because when I first came to Alpha U, I was intent on getting some independence and space from my large family.

But once I had it, I realized it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I realized I was a family kind of girl. Even though Rim and I were sorely outnumbered by testosterone, I still loved it.

Once I ordered, I moved down to the pick-up counter to wait. Rimmel bustled in, looking like a miniature snowman in a puffy white coat and a scarf around half her head. I giggled and waved when I saw her. She pointed to a table by the window, and I nodded, so she went over and snagged it before it was taken.

The drinks appeared, and I grabbed them up, tucking one of my selections beneath my arm, and went over to the table.

“Hey,” I said as Rimmel untangled herself from her scarf.

“I think I’m trapped,” she said, dropping her arms and turning to me.

I laughed. The scarf was somehow twisted around her neck and in her hair. I set everything on the table, came to her rescue, and straightened out the situation, handing her the scarf so she could pile it on top of her coat.

“A girl tries to wear her hair down and this is what happens. If you hadn’t been here, I’d be in the back, begging for a stick of butter to get myself out of that contraption!” Rim gestured toward the scarf.

I didn’t even bother to hide my enjoyment of her clear fashion handicap. “Hmm, I think you just gave me an idea for my style channel.”

“Butter as hair detangler?” Rimmel flashed a smile.

“How to properly wear a scarf.” I corrected.

“Better include a segment on how to get the hell out of one if you can’t put it on right,” she muttered.

I laughed some more and pushed a cup toward her. “Got you a cider.”

She made a sound of appreciation and gripped the cup. “Thank you.”

I pulled my mocha in front of me¸ along with the small bottle of orange juice I’d grabbed out of the cooler near the register.

Rimmel gestured at the juice. “Couldn’t make up your mind?”

“It’s a girl’s prerogative to want more than one thing at once.” I uncapped the juice and took a sip. The slightly tart but sweet orange flavor burst over my tongue and slid down my throat.
So good.

I reached for the mocha and wrapped my hands around it, letting the heat from the coffee seep into my chilled fingers.

“You’ve never been one to drink juice,” Rimmel said, sipping her drink.

I shrugged. “I think I need the sugar. I’ve been tired lately.”

“How’s things going?” she asked, lowering her voice a little, as if she were keeping our conversation private.

I was used to talking about my feelings, used to being asked about them, too. It seemed like that’s all I’d done since discovering Zach raped me and then tried to kill Braeden and me. The thing was I didn’t mind talking about how I was doing. It would have been perfectly natural to never want to talk about it. I think a lot of people go through that.

And yeah, at first it had been hard. But it helped. And I think by just getting it out there, by not holding it in, it made me stronger.

Rimmel and I had talked a lot in the weeks following the car accident and Zach dying. I hadn’t been the one to tell her about being raped. Romeo told her. I was glad he had so I didn’t have to. Sure, talking about it now wasn’t as hard as it used to be, but having to tell someone you were raped… especially a friend who cared about you…

I hated watching the horror and then the pity that always flashed in their eyes. By the time Rim and I were able to talk, Zach was already dead and I was just out of the hospital.

She was a good friend.

A
best
friend.

She never judged me. She never tried to tell me whatever I was feeling in a particular moment was wrong. It was like she knew emotions, even some feelings were fleeting, and experiencing them was all part of the process of healing.

Having a girl to talk to about what happened… well, it was easier talking to her about it than Braeden or Drew. They were too hotheaded for that. They got too upset.

Rimmel never wanted to punch things when I got teary eyed about being forced into sex. She just held my hand and let me cry.

“I’m good,” I answered, leaning in a little. “Therapy really helps.” I reached out and laid my hand over hers. “Having good friends—family—really helps, too. I finally feel like I’m getting back to normal, you know?”

She squeezed my hand supportively. “Minus the exhaustion inspiring the OJ consumption?” she asked, a teasing note in her voice.

I tilted my head to the side. “I think all the mental turmoil I had to work through is finally catching up to me physically, if that makes sense?”

Rimmel nodded. “Totally. It’s hard to focus on everything at once. For you, dealing with the inner stuff was way more important than the physical stuff. So now that you’re stronger mentally, it’s easier to notice how you are physically.”

Of course she understood. She might not have been raped, but she’d been attacked by Zach. She’d been through a lot with her family, too. Rimmel knew what it was to try and heal.

“I think…” I began and paused. Just because I was able to talk about what was inside didn’t mean it was always easy. Rimmel sensed my hesitation and gave my hand another squeeze. “I know rape is a physical violation.” I paused again to pull my hand away and wrap them both around my coffee. “But I think the bigger violation is emotional. The scars he left inside are so much larger than anything he ever left on me physically.”

Just coming to terms with being used in the way I was, in being treated like something other than human was something I might always struggle with.

“I’m really proud of you,” Rimmel said.

I glanced up, surprised. That was the last response I expected.

She smiled, noting the shock on my face. “You’ve changed a lot since we first met back at the beginning of sophomore year.”

I grimaced, and she shook her head.

“There was nothing wrong with the way you were back then,” she clarified, then went on. “You were always nice to me, even when I tried to be invisible to you. You’ve always been fun and carefree in ways I never will be. I always admired that about you. But you’re so much more than that. Instead of being a victim, you became a fighter. Instead of letting the pain of what happened eat you up inside—something I’ve done—you let it out so you could heal. You’re so strong, Ivy. Strong for being the person you are, for facing everything you’ve faced. I wanted to tell you that you really inspire me. I might not have been through the same things you have, but even so, I’ve learned a lot about having grace from you.”

Tears welled up in the backs of my eyes, and I blinked furiously. “I’m not wearing waterproof mascara,” I hissed low. “Now I’m gonna look a mess!”

Rimmel laughed. “I’m sure you have an arsenal of products in your bag to fix yourself.”

“Of course.” I sniffled and waved away the silly makeup talk. “I’ve definitely had a lot of support the past few months, a lot of it from you. You’ve taught me a lot about self-acceptance and how to be the real version of me. Thanks for always being a real friend.”

Rimmel pushed at her glasses and sniffled. “I’d been wanting to ask you something. I think now is a really good time.”

“Of course,” I said and dabbed under my eyes.

“Will you be my maid of honor?”

Well, there went what was left of my mascara. “Really?” I said, my voice wobbly.

Rimmel nodded. “There is honestly no one else I’d rather have standing there with me when I marry Romeo.”

“What about B?”

Rimmel laughed. “I think he’ll look better in a tux on Romeo’s side than on mine in a gown.”

“Seriously, though.” I deadpanned. “You should totally ask him to stand on your side. Can’t you just see his face?”

Both of us dissolved into a bucket of giggles.

“And the best part is he’d totally say yes because he’d never tell you no!” I added and laughed some more.

We laughed so hard people started to glance our way, but I didn’t care. It felt so good to laugh.

Once the laughter subsided, Rimmel groaned. “Speaking of. I haven’t even thought of dresses. Or flowers. Or anything.”

“I’ve got this,” I said, sitting up. “I can totally help you with everything.”

“Would you?” Rimmel’s eyes were hopeful. “Because Romeo’s mom is totally on me about everything. What do I want for this? What do I want for that…? That woman is like in total wedding mode.”

“Things any better between you two?” I asked.

Rimmel made a face. “I’m trying. But you know…”

I nodded enthusiastically. “I get it.”

“I really would appreciate your help. With my mom not here…” Her voice trailed away, and sadness squeezed my heart. I hadn’t even thought about what it must be like for her to plan a wedding without her mother. “And my grandma is so far away. I’ve kind of been on my own with it.”

“You’re never on your own,” I insisted. “I’m always here. And so is B. And Drew. Trent, too.”

Her eyes grew soft and she smiled. “Thanks.”

We launched into a full-fledged wedding planning conversation. From the look on Rimmel’s face every time I brought up another detail, she looked more and more overwhelmed.

Finally, I sat back and said, “Are you sure you want a big wedding?”

“Honestly? I’d go to Vegas in a heartbeat. But Romeo wants me to have the fairy tale, and I think his mother would be heartbroken if we didn’t include her.”

I nodded. I understood that. My mother would be heartbroken if I went off and got married without her. Especially since I’m her only daughter and my brothers are boneheads who will likely never find women to put up with them. But I didn’t say that out loud because I didn’t want to make her feel worse about her own mother not being there. And on that note, I was going to have to come up with some way to make Rimmel’s mother a part of her day. It would mean so much to her.

“Well, let’s keep it simple, then. We’ll give his mom some things she can control and you can pick out the rest.”

“Really?”

“Simple can be very elegant.” I smiled. “I can’t wait to go dress shopping!”

She grimaced. “Oh, and don’t forget the engagement party his mother insisted on throwing us is next week. I need to come to the boutique and get something to wear. I know she’s gonna have press there. I think she invited the entire NFL.”

She said the last part with trepidation, and I laughed. “Sounds very formal.”

Rimmel put her head in her hands.

“You know what?” I said.

She glanced up.

“What you guys need is a real engagement party. One for you and Romeo, not for his mother’s society friends.”

“It’s been a long time since all of us went out to have fun.”

Months. It had been months and months. Christmas passed quietly, with B and me splitting our time here and at my parents’. Romeo and Rim were spread thin while he finished up his first season. Drew had been MIA a lot because of his job and racing.

And now here it was midwinter with spring coming fast. Things changed so fast. Pretty soon, it would be our senior year and then we’d be all be pulled in different directions. We needed to celebrate now.