Heart Full of Love (7 page)

Light spilled from the windows of the house, and Josh felt a warm glow of homecoming. He stopped the van in the driveway and got out to lift Katie from her seat. Eden held the front door open for him, then shut it behind them.

Belinda was curled up on the sofa. The fire flickered in the fireplace, and the scent of the apple candle burning on the mantle added to the homey glow of the room.

Belinda put her book down and smiled at them. “There you are. Rick came and took Andi home with him, and the children are all asleep.”

“I found my aunt’s address!” Eden burst out. “She lives in Michigan. That’s where Timmy is.”

“What about your sisters?” Belinda stood and stretched.

“Molly heard Crista went to Arizona, but she has no idea where or who took her. She hadn’t heard anything about Angelina.”

“Well, at least it’s a start.” Belinda hugged Eden, then picked up her coat. “Maybe you’ll find some of your family by Christmas. What a holiday that would be!”

Eden nodded. “I’m almost afraid to hope for that.” She walked Belinda to the hall.

While Eden saw her friend out, Josh carried Katie to bed. She slept heavily, her thumb in her mouth. He pulled her shoes off and slipped her out of her coat. Trying to decide if he should put her in her pajamas and risk wakening her, he didn’t hear Eden come up behind him.

She went to the bureau and pulled out a pink fleece sleeper. Josh lowered the side of the crib and laid Katie down. He watched while Eden deftly changed her without waking the sleeping toddler.

“You’re good at that,” he said. Again, doubts assailed him. Eden knew so much more than he did about raising a child. He’d had no experience. But he had a lot of love. He could learn.

She smiled. “Katie is a sound sleeper. You go on down and see what you can find on the Net. I’ll be down as soon as I check on the other children.”

Josh nodded and went down the hall to the stairs. He almost tripped over a fire truck on the stairs but caught the railing just in time. He picked up the toy to make sure Eden didn’t stumble and carried it with him to the living room. Within minutes he was looking for Eden’s aunt on the Internet.

Eden came in the room, yawning and stretching her back. “Any luck?”

He shook his head. “No trace of her.”

“Could we go to Michigan and talk to some neighbors?”

Her eyes sparkled with determination, and he hoped he wasn’t setting her up for a major disappointment. “I’m game if you are.” Anything to keep that sparkle in her eyes. And as long as he felt needed, he wouldn’t leave. The time of his departure could be pushed back once again. He wasn’t ready to walk away from Eden. Josh shied away from examining just why that was true.

The aroma of roasting turkey filled the kitchen. The tart scent of cranberries mingled with that of pumpkin and cinnamon. Eden had tied balloons everywhere to add a festive touch. She loved Thanksgiving. This year she had something to be even more thankful for. Her heart filled with thankfulness to God for the gift of Katie. Her daughter. The thought sent chills of joy up her spine. This would be their first holiday as a real family.

And Josh would be here as well. Eden knew the camaraderie would soon be gone. One day he would decide it was time to move on, find a job, and settle down somewhere. The thought deflated the bubble of joy she’d been enveloped in, and she sighed. Picking up the wooden spoon, she began to beat the pumpkin mixture for pies.

The doorbell rang. “Samantha, would you get the door?” she called.

She heard Samantha’s footsteps echo along the oak floors. A couple of minutes later Josh’s broad shoulders filled the doorway. He wore black jeans with a garnet sweater. His hair was still a bit damp from his morning shower, and the spicy scent of his cologne added to his masculine presence. Eden forced her attention back to her pies.

He sniffed. “Smells great. I really appreciate your taking pity on me today. This will be the first real Thanksgiving dinner I’ve had in over ten years. Can I set the table or something?”

“Sure. But just set it for four.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I thought the house seemed quiet. Where are the rest of the kids?”

“With their families for the day.”

“Even Cory?”

She’d been trying not to think of that. “I tried to talk social services out of it. Cory’s advocate said his mother had assured her the stepfather wouldn’t be there today.”

“And they believed her?” Josh’s voice raised.

“They want to give her a chance. The goal is always to get the family back together.”

“It shouldn’t always be. When they hurt the child like that man hurt Cory, they lose the right.” Josh scowled. “I’d like to get my hands on him.”

So would Eden. She forced a smile. “They’ve been warned they’ll go to jail if any harm comes to him. And that would be the least of their worries once you and I found out.”

Josh’s worried frown didn’t dissipate. “We’d better pray for him today, the other kids too.”

Eden had already done just that, but the fact that Josh felt comfortable enough with her to suggest they pray together touched her. She wiped her hands on her apron, then took both Josh’s hands in hers and bowed her head.

The strength of his fingers calmed her heart. Josh cleared his throat. “Lord, we know You love these little ones even more than we do. We ask that You protect them today, give them a good day with their parents, and work in the lives of those families to help them come together again. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

“Amen,” Eden echoed. Josh didn’t release her fingers, and she raised her head, catching his gaze with her own. His dark eyes seemed filled with an emotion Eden was afraid to name, even to herself.

“You have flour on your cheek,” he said in a gentle voice. He let go of her left hand but kept a tight grip on her right. His fingers brushed her cheek, and he rubbed the smudge away with his thumb.

The moment drew out between them, and Eden was almost afraid to breathe. He pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head. It felt right, as though she fit there, as though his arms were made for her. She breathed in the scent of his cologne and wrapped her arms around his waist without thinking. His heart thumped beneath her ear, a slow, steady beat that filled her with confidence. This was a man who wasn’t afraid to be tender, who could laugh at himself yet knew when to be serious. A man who loved children and wasn’t afraid to show it. Her man.

The thought shocked her, and she dropped her arms and would have stepped away, but Josh tipped her chin up, and his lips claimed hers. Eden closed her eyes again and tasted the sweetness of his kiss. Tentative but tender, his lips were firm yet soft. She cautioned herself not to read too much into it. Men kissed women all the time without promising anything. She had to guard her heart.

His gaze flickered over the strands of hair trailing around her face. “Eden, I—”

“I’m hungry!” Samantha stood in the middle of the kitchen, her hands on her hips in a belligerent pose.

She was jealous. Eden could see it in her resentful glance. She smiled at her foster child, but Samantha’s stern gaze didn’t falter. Her defiant gaze flickered from Eden to Josh, then she bit her lip and looked at the floor.

“It’s almost ready.” Eden stepped away from Josh. Trying not to wonder what he had been about to say, she turned and slid the pies in the oven, then set the timer.

“I’ll get Katie,” Josh said. “Want to come with me, Sam?”

The little girl’s face brightened, and she shot Eden a triumphant glance before practically skipping out of the kitchen with Josh. Eden managed not to smile. Bless Josh for knowing just how to soothe the little girl. He had a knack with children that was unusual in a man. Maybe Katie
did
belong with him.

The thought was a stab of agony to her heart. She’d just told him it was important for families to be together if possible. That was the goal she worked for, the aim she always kept in mind for her foster children. Just because she wanted Katie didn’t make it right. She pushed the knowledge away. Katie was hers, she couldn’t give her up. But guilt gnawed at her. God couldn’t want that of her, could He? She wouldn’t believe it.

Her hands trembled as she carried the food to the table. Tears blurred her vision, and she took a deep, calming breath. She was just being emotional because of the holiday. They would enjoy the meal, play some games afterward, and she would forget all about this prick of guilt. It was nothing.

By the time Josh brought Katie down from upstairs, Eden had recovered her composure. She mustn’t let him know she’d even thought about giving up Katie. He would be all over that idea like a duck on a June bug.

Katie snuggled against Josh’s chest like it was made for her. Eden knew the feeling, and a smile curved her lips. She turned away before Josh could see it and ask why she was smiling. Heat bloomed in her cheeks at the thought of explaining herself.

The meal passed slowly and amicably. Katie even managed to keep most of her food on the tray of her high chair. Samantha chattered to Josh and seemed to have forgotten her earlier pique. When the buzzer on the oven went off, Eden took the pies out to cool. They would have dessert a little later in the afternoon.

Josh and Samantha pitched in to help wash dishes, and Eden couldn’t help imagining what it would be like for them all to be a family. She had to stop that kind of thinking. Josh would be appalled if he knew where her imagination had taken her.

When the kitchen was clean, they all went to the living room. Eden flopped onto the sofa. “I’m pooped,” she said.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Josh said. “You know what was always traditional at our house on Thanksgiving afternoon?”

“Resting and playing games?” she asked hopefully.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. “Nope. Putting up the Christmas tree.”

She started shaking her head. “I always buy a live tree. There’s nothing open today.”

“Wrong again.” He pulled her to the front door and opened it. A magnificent Christmas tree leaned beside the door. It was at least nine feet tall with full branches and no holes.

“Where did you get that?” Eden held her breath in awe.

“I bought it yesterday and brought it over when I came. You get the decorations out, and I’ll bring it in.” He lifted the tree and carried it through the door Samantha held open for him.

“He told me about it,” Samantha said smugly.

“You kept the secret well.” Eden squeezed her shoulder as she passed, and Samantha smiled, all traces of her earlier fit of temper gone.

Samantha kept an eye on Katie while Eden hurried up the stairs to the attic. The attic steps were steep, and she paid attention to her feet as she climbed them. She’d stumbled many times on them. Josh came up behind her.

He looked around. “I love these old attics. They don’t build houses like this anymore.”

“Sometimes I come up here and imagine these boxes are filled with things from my grandparents. Silly, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not.” He draped an arm around her. “Family is important. And you’ve made a family here, Eden. This is a great thing you’re doing, something to be proud of.”

Heat touched her cheeks, and a matching glow filled her. Sometimes she wondered if she should give up the fight, get a real job instead of working for the state with these children. She’d seen the way people looked at her when she said she was a foster parent. The abuses in the system were legion. But she cared too much about the children to abandon them.

She turned away and began loading his arms with boxes. “I have so many ornaments the children made. Samantha will be glad to see the one she made for me last year.”

Josh carried a load downstairs, and Eden followed with her arms full of boxes too. Samantha was nearly bouncing in her excitement. Eden put her load down and held out her arms for Katie.

“You’ll want to help Josh decorate,” she said. “This little munchkin needs to be up and out of the way.”

Katie came to her willingly. As she watched Josh and Samantha decorate the tree, she wished this could be the first of a lifetime of Christmases spent together. She nearly gasped at the realization. She loved him! When had that happened? She couldn’t love him. He would leave her just like everyone else in her family had done. It wasn’t safe to love him. But how did she kill love once it began? He had the ability to rip her heart out and take her daughter as well. But what would he say if she asked him to stay, to find a job here, and help her raise Katie?

Josh couldn’t figure Eden out. Thanksgiving she had been so warm and sweet. Since then she’d kept him at arm’s length. She avoided being alone with him, and her green eyes warned him to keep his distance.

He didn’t want to keep his distance. Those minutes in the kitchen on Thanksgiving had awakened him to the fact that this emotion he felt when he looked at her was love. He was in love for the first time in his life. With a woman who smelled of baby powder and formula instead of expensive perfume and hair spray. A woman who thought watching a video with a roomful of kids more fun than going out to dinner. The realization astonished and delighted him. Eden was what he’d been looking for all his life. But how did he break through that wall she had around her?

Today might be a start. He glanced at Eden sitting beside him in the SUV. They had the whole day to themselves in their search for Selma Johnson. Belinda was holding down the fort, and it would be just he and Eden together today. They were nearly there, and Eden hadn’t said two words to him.

She didn’t look happy. Staring through the window, her profile was somber with no evidence of her dimples. Josh hadn’t seen them since Thanksgiving. Had he gone too far with that kiss? Maybe she wasn’t interested in him that way. His spirits sank at the thought.

“Penny for your thoughts,” he said.

She turned and gave a halfhearted smile. “They’re not worth that much. I wasn’t really thinking, just staring out the window.”

“Scared about your aunt?”

She shook her head. “I think I’ll find my family eventually. I’m content with that.”