Healing Rain (16 page)

“What the hell is the matter with you?” he yells, looking at the blood on the hand he used to wipe his mouth.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Raina quickly states, feeling acute remorse and a little panic from Lawson’s agitated state.

Lawson shoves his hand forward, trying to show her the proof that she did, even if she didn’t mean to, and she jumps backwards.

Lawson quickly lowers his hand, shocked by her reaction, “Damn, Raina, I wasn’t going to hit you.”

The lights flood the room, and Erik steps inside, yelling at Lawson to back the hell away from her. Lawson doesn’t move, seeing the bruises on her face for the first time. “Raina, what happened to you?” he asks, worry quickly dissipating his earlier anger.

Raina stands up, turning her back to him, “I really am sorry, Lawson.”

Erik watches, dumbfounded by the gentleness in the perpetually gruff agent as he gently takes Raina’s arm, turning her around and brushing her hair away from her face. Erik sees Raina’s cheeks flush as Lawson tenderly tilts her chin, carefully examining her face before brushing his thumb across her cheek, “What happened, Raina?” his voice remarkably soft and caring.

Raina stares blankly at Lawson for a few seconds, embarrassed that more and more people are finding out about her life. Erik sees her hesitation, and he steps in, “She was attacked.”

“Are you alright?” Lawson’s rare concern continues.

“I’m fine,” she mutters, grateful for Erik’s intervention.

“Did they find who did this to you?”

“Yeah, they got him,” Erik answers for her.

“Good, I hope they fry his ass.”

Raina’s gaze drops, conflicting emotions attack her at his comment about her father. “Did you need me for something?”

Lawson shrugs, “It can wait.” He turns to go, then turns back around, “If you need anything, anything at all, Raina, just let me know.”

“Thank you,” Raina responds sincerely as Erik’s mouth drapes open slightly, Lawson’s offered kindness being too surreal.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

“Erik, look at this,” Raina exclaims excitedly.

He leans back from the computer in front of him, quickly rubbing his blurring eyes as he stands, glancing over Raina’s shoulder. Erik watches as the complex algorithm she used last is working, decoding the heavily encrypted words. Quickly, they read through the information popping up on the screen, their excitement reaching soaring heights when they see Prizrak mentioned in an e-mail sent by someone named Gavril Nikitin. The tone of the e-mail is definitely heated, the sender warning the owner of the PC, Alan Beacher, that he better not screw up again, or he’s finished.

Erik looks at Raina, “I guess he screwed up again.”

They continue reading the information, discovering that Prizrak wasn’t happy about the few number of girls, or the condition of the girls, when they were delivered to a very important client who is mentioned only as ‘Jefferson’. Erik gets to work searching the database for Gavril Nikitin. Raina jots down names, dates, and places, as the information decodes across her screen. She drops her pen when a partial address pops up. “Looks like this Beacher guy wasn’t the smartest of the traffickers in Prizrak’s ring, he put a residential address on here, next to the initials G.N., no wonder he ended up dead.”

Erik inputs the partial address and comes up with forty eight addresses in the U.S. with the same street name. He adds Gavril Nikitin, and the Maryland address is highlighted. Raina dials Kas, giving him the information recovered.

“Great work,” he praises their discovery, but then his tone changes slightly, “why are you still at the office? When I called you a few hours ago, you promised you would stop and rest.”

“I did rest, I took a nap,” she states quickly.

Erik glances at Raina, noticing how she is absently chewing on her bottom lip.

Raina hears how Kas’ tone softens even more as he praises their work again, stating they are on the way back into the office, and he will call Derrick to see if they want to assist on this.

Raina is checking on the progress with the hard drive that she is pretty sure Lawson was wanting an update on before she cold cocked him. She sighs in frustration at how slowly the process is going, hoping the damage isn’t too extensive. The numerous algorithms they have tried so far haven’t worked. She says a quick prayer and runs the same algorithm she just used on Beacher’s system. Holding her breath, she watches as characters populate on the screen. At first, they seem meaningless, then she notices a pattern. She is working with Erik, trying to piece together the pattern so they can try to decipher it, when Kas walks in, the heavy smell of smoke lingering on his clothing.

“Hey, you look terrible,” Erik points out the obvious when they see how his clothing is ruined, and his face is smudged with the same soot on the charred laptop.

Kas gives himself a cursory glance, “Yeah, I know, and this is with the protective suit I was wearing.” He gives Raina a quick kiss on the top of her head, “They are having to identify the remains by his dental records. The name you guys found should speed that process along.” He turns to Erik, “Do you mind taking Rain home, I’m going to be here for a while longer.”

Raina stands up, trying to keep her tone calm even though she is starting to get really aggravated at all the attention, “Kas, I’m fine to stay. I told you that I took a nap.”

Kas slips her hand in his, wishing he wasn’t too filthy to pull her into his arms, “I want you to go home, Raina. I didn’t like the idea of you coming in today in the first place.”

“But we found a pattern on the PC from the warehouse Jioa escaped from, we’re trying to decipher it now.”

Kas struggles with the importance of the information, knowing they need as many leads as they can get, but also knowing that Raina will push herself beyond her limits, and she’s in no shape for this right now. “It will be here tomorrow, Rain.”

She opens her mouth to protest, but Kas gives her a toned down warning look, “I’m not budging on this, Raina.”

Erik grabs her jacket, completely with Kas on this one, especially after witnessing the after-effects of Lawson surprising her. He knows Raina won’t freely offer that information to Kas, but he feels it’s important. Her having nightmares is normal after the trauma she experienced, but he would feel better Kas knowing, so he can help monitor them. He decides he will call him after he drops her off at home.

She reluctantly allows Erik to help her with her jacket as Kas gently squeezes her hand, knowing he’s probably not her favorite person right now.

“I’ll be home by 7:30.” He leans in, brushing a kiss across her cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she whispers.

Raina
is
almost
finished cooking when Kas arrives. He smells the delicious aromas as soon as he walks through the door. He sighs, starving, but frustrated that Raina isn’t resting. Stepping into the kitchen, he studies her for a few seconds. He can see that her movements aren’t as fluid as usual, or as fast. He knows she is hurting right now, and he wants her to listen to reason, to make her lie down, but she hasn’t listened to his pleas so far, and he doesn’t want to raise his voice to her.

“You need to rest, I will finish that,” he offers, stepping to the sink to wash his hands.

Raina angrily pushes the chopping board aside, laying down the knife as she spins towards Kas. “I’m sore, not helpless,” she snaps at him.

Kas pauses, wetting his lips pensively before responding, “I never said you were, Rain.”

She leans against the counter, grabbing the edge tightly in her hands as she tries to tame her anger, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, you’ve been through a lot.”

Her gaze shoots to his, her bright eyes full of fire, “Don’t do that! Don’t make excuses for me. If I’m being a brat, call me on it, don’t treat me with kid gloves, it makes me feel weak.”

Kas shoves his hands in his pockets dejectedly, not knowing how to respond, not meaning, or wanting to make her feel that way.

Raina sees his hooded hurt and sighs. “That’s my issue, Kas, not yours,” she says softly, leaning her head against his chest.

“Your issues are my issues, darlin’, don’t you know that?” he kisses the top of her head, “whatever hurts you, hurts me.”

Raina squeezes her eyes shut, not knowing what is wrong with her today, busting Lawson’s lip and snapping at Kas when he’s only trying to help. “What did I ever do to deserve you? You are so good to me.”

“You deserve to be treated well.” He tilts her chin, “And, there’s not one weak bone in you, sweetheart, I wish you could see that.” He decides to back off a little, not fussing anymore about her cooking dinner, but he will put his foot down if she doesn’t rest after that. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”

Raina is more relaxed when he’s finished with his shower. He walks into the kitchen, slipping her hair aside, kissing the back of her neck, before grabbing the plates and glasses, filling their cups with iced tea.

He digs into the fettuccine covered in a creamy mushroom and sage sauce, before taking a large bite of the tomato Bruschetta, grinning at Raina, “You’re missing Italy aren’t you?”

She laughs, “A little.”

“This is delicious,” he compliments her, studying her as she quietly eats. Stress has ruled their lives since they’ve returned from Italy, it seems like it’s been months rather than weeks since their wedding.

They finish dinner, and he insists on doing the dishes, sending her off to the couch. He smiles when he sees that she has fallen peacefully asleep, thankful that she doesn’t appear to be having another nightmare. Erik’s call didn’t surprise him, he remembers her nightmare in the hospital after Chris had beaten her, but hearing she decked Lawson both amuses and worries him. Her ingrained defensive mechanisms had greatly relaxed, but now, it seems they have returned. He decides he will go by Chase’s practice tomorrow, he had called anyway, wanting to discuss his assessment of the recording with her father. Flipping on the television, he slips her head onto his lap, running his fingers through her hair as she sleeps.

Kas calls Chase while Raina is in the shower, agreeing to meet him after he drops Raina off at the office with Erik. He tells him he will bring him breakfast, wanting to do at least something for everything Chase has done for him lately. Kas walks into Chase’s immaculate office, putting his biscuits and gravy on his dark stained oak desk, laughing as Chase quickly slides some papers underneath the plate and coffee cup. He sits down on the comfortable, overstuffed, soft mocha leather arm chair as Chase takes a few bites.

Taking a sip of his coffee before beginning, Chase sighs, “That recording was the hardest thing I have ever had to listen to. Her father’s intent to completely deprecate her is astounding. Since Raina was five years old, all of her discipline has been grossly inappropriate. No clear safe boundaries were set. Anything, sometimes everything, set her father off. Children are taught growing up what is safe for them, what is acceptable, through discipline. She didn’t get that, she wasn’t disciplined, she was beaten, and she was never taught safe boundaries by her father. Raina is very intelligent, socially adept, able to handle various scenarios and respond appropriately when it involves other people, but not when it involves herself. Obviously, that can be very dangerous for her. Since she wasn’t taught the boundaries growing up, essentially, she needs to learn them now.”

Kas shakes his head, his expression quizzical, “You’re not suggesting that I discipline Raina? Teach her the boundaries she never learned? Because there’s no way in hell that I am going to punish my wife.”

“And I stand behind you one hundred percent on that. You know that I would never suggest that,” Chase continues, “but, the talk your father had with Raina was very eye opening to her. Having her see how your father, a loving father, interacts with you, with her, especially after she did something that put herself in danger, was beneficial. Obviously, I’m not suggesting any disciplinary actions from your father either, but her spending time with him, hearing how he would handle some scenarios regarding her choices can help her heal. Cognitively, she knows your father is different than her father, but experiencing the drastic difference between the two with how Cliff interacts with her when he is upset about a choice she has made, can be a monumental step in overcoming her childhood trauma. Seeing and hearing how she doesn’t deserve to be hurt, or berated for making mistakes or dangerous choices will help the path to her healing, allowing her to move forward with her life.”

Kas leans back in the chair, “I can invite Dad over more, or take her to visit him more often.” Kas leans forward again, “What about the nightmares?”

“Raina has adjusted exceptionally well to everything that she has experienced in her life, but I do see some signs of mild PTSD, like her nightmares. To be honest with you, I am very surprised she hasn’t shown any more issues with the significant level of abuse and the various types of abuse she has been subjected to. Her not crying for all of those years was very troublesome to me, and I am extremely relieved that is no longer an issue. Her self-image needs to be stronger, but it’s not what I would call harmful, just diminished, understandably so with everything I heard her father calling her and telling her on the recording. Her father more than likely severely emotionally abused her from the time her mother died until she left. That kind of abuse sticks with you.”

“What are you not telling me?”

Chase smiles slyly, knowing he couldn’t keep anything from the human lie detector. “I’m just a little perplexed that she hasn’t had more issues.”

“You’re going to have to explain that one to me, doc?”

“She’s still holding a lot inside. Not nearly as much as before, but it can be dangerous repressing emotions for too long.” Chase’s gaze becomes sobering, “Everyone has a breaking point, even Raina.”