Healing Love (Love to the Extreme) (7 page)

“No. Was just curious as to why.”

He’d actually asked himself the same question, since Kelsey struggled so much with it, but there was something not right about the way she reacted. A part of him was determined to help her get past it. The other part was simply intrigued. The freezing went against everything he’d learned about the woman in the short time they’d known each other. Fuck, she’d taken Ralph down in an impressive rear-naked choke hold. A couple of taps from him shouldn’t be affecting her so negatively.

“Something’s holding her back. I’m just trying to help her work past it.” Lance popped open his locker and dug out a change of clothes. “You’ve seen her. She’s capable of anything she puts her mind to.”

“That session with Amber was extraordinary.”

Yes, it was. She’d been breathtaking up in that ring.

“She’s got skills,” Lance muttered.

As Lance tugged on his clothes, Mac studied him.

“I’ve noticed some chemistry there.”

Lance paused in buttoning his jeans and closed his eyes. He hoped the whole goddamn gym hadn’t noticed that. When he reopened them, a huge smile had broken across his friend’s face. Seeing the man smile was still taking some getting used to.

“Yeah. Maybe.” Lance finally answered. No reason to deny it. At least not with Mac.

“That’s awesome, man. I’d like to see you find someone.”

Lance yanked on his shirt with more force than was necessary. “I don’t have time to date. Remember, I have a loan I’m paying off. That takes a lot of my free time.” With agreeing to fight for the McNealys, he’d also be spending more time in the underbelly of Kansas. He didn’t want Kelsey around that. Besides, he couldn’t tell her what he was doing, and he sure as fuck wasn’t going to lie to her about where he was. So it was best that he leave it alone, and they stay training partners.

“Make time. You work too fucking much.”

Lance spun on his friend. “Goddamn it. Just let it go, would you?”

His friend frowned. “What’s up your ass?”

“You are.” He regretted the words as soon as they shot out of his mouth. Mac had been through hell and back, and he was finally happy and at peace with his past. He obviously wanted the same thing for Lance. “Look, man, I’m sorry. I’m stressed out and have a short fuse these days.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like you haven’t been on the receiving end of my shit. Anything you want to talk about?”

“Nah.”

“You know the offer—”

“Don’t.” He couldn’t stand having Mac offer him money, which he knew was coming next. “My bed. I’ll lie in it, okay?”

A long pause followed and then a heavy sigh. “All right. At least start making time for yourself. You can’t keep going like this.”

“I’ve been doing it this long.”

Shaking his head, Mac walked toward the door, then stopped and twisted around. “Let me share a piece of invaluable advice I once got from a close friend. You need to live a little bit, and she seems like she would be good for you.”

Lance was left alone with Mac’s parting words. He’d been the one who’d given Mac that piece of advice just months ago when he’d been fighting his attraction to Gayle. Maybe he did need some fun. He enjoyed every minute he trained with Kelsey—looked forward to it.

For the past three years his life had revolved around work, fighting, paying back the loan, and his daughter. While he loved every single second he spent with his little girl, he hadn’t relaxed in a long time. Maybe Mac was right. Maybe it was time to live a little. Kelsey was the only woman who interested him. They could go out. It didn’t have to be a date. Just hang out.

His cell beeped. Grabbing it up, he pressed the text button.

Tonight.

So this was how it would work. He’d get a text and he’d have to show up. Sighing, he dropped the phone on his gym bag and raked his fingers over his face. Right there was the reality check he needed after Mac’s pep talk.

What if he’d asked Kelsey to go out tonight? He’d have to cancel, have to lie about why.

Damn it. He yanked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He fucking hated being at the McNealys’ beck and call, but he had to focus on the end result. Tonight, win or lose, he would be five thousand dollars less in the hole. Five thousand dollars closer to refocusing his business, to more free time.

That was all that mattered.

…

It was too dark. Too many shadows, too many places to hide. Ella slowly spun around the dark room. He could be anywhere. A creaking noise came from behind her. Heart in her throat, she whirled around. More endless darkness. Strong fingers wove into her hair and yanked back hard. She cried out at the sharp pain, seconds before her face slammed into the wall. White stars swam before her eyes. Unable to stand, she slid down the wall to her knees. She touched her face. Sticky wetness coated her fingertips. Her mind was numb. She couldn’t make sense of what was happening, couldn’t process thought. A kick to her stomach sent her all the way to the floor, onto her side. She cowered against the wall, arm shielding her face from the relentless punches that followed.

“Stop,” she begged, barely above a whisper. “Please stop.”

The dark mass lowered until his face was right before her. The stench of beer invaded her nose as the madness in his eyes terrified her even more.

“If you tell anyone, I’ll fucking kill you.”

Ella jackknifed up on the couch, taking in ragged, anxious breaths as her gaze ricocheted around the living room. The nightmare slowly faded and her surroundings registered. She wasn’t in Maine. She wasn’t in a dark room. She was in Kansas, over a thousand miles away. She flopped back against the cushions and covered her sweaty forehead with her arm.

Damn it. Until two weeks ago, it’d been a long time since she’d woken up covered in sweat from a nightmare. Now they seemed to be a regular occurrence. All it had taken was being informed Randy was about to be released back into the wild like the animal he was.

She lay there for a few minutes, trying to slow her racing heart. The quiet of the house was unnerving, suffocating. She needed to talk to someone, needed to feel connected and not so alone. She reached for her cell phone on the coffee table then dialed her best friend.

The phone rang one time before Brooke answered. “Ella?”

She closed her eyes at the familiar voice. Longing to be back home, to be living her life, almost overwhelmed her.

“It’s me.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just missing you.”

“I miss you, too.”

“So…” She hedged, knowing that today was the day, but uncertain if something may have happened that had stalled it.

A long silence passed before Brooke sighed and said, “He was released today.”

A cold lump formed in Ella’s stomach, causing her belly to churn and unpleasant tingles to erupt over her body. Her vision tunneled and she closed her eyes, taking small breaths to calm the panic. When she had herself level again, she said, “Seems unfair, doesn’t it?”

“What does, hon?”

“He’s walking free and I’m—” Her voice cracked, and she clamped her teeth together. She waited a moment to make sure she had her composure back then added, “Hiding. How did I resort to this, Brooke?”

“Oh, Ella. I can’t even begin to imagine what’s going on in your head, and I respect you too much to even try.”

“The moment I learned he was getting released, all the terror I thought I’d gotten past came rushing back. I don’t feel safe anymore. I’m scared shitless that he’s going to hunt me down now that he’s out, and finish what he started. He told me he would. Told me if I ratted on him, he’d make me pay. That’s all I can focus on—the possibility he could hurt me again. And it makes me so angry, Brooke.” Hot tears burned the back of her eyes as she fisted her hands and forced out, “And so goddamn scared.”

A sob rushed out of her mouth, and she pressed her hand to her lips, trying to keep more from escaping and failing.

“God, Ella, I wish I could hug you right now,” her friend whispered.

“I-I just want my l-life back. I miss the hospital. I miss you, my home, m-my ladies.” She scrubbed her face with her palm and took a deep breath. “What kind of example am I setting for the center?”

She’d been volunteering at Healing Hands Women’s shelter for a couple of years. The women who walked through those doors were trying to find a safe haven to escape their abuser. They were at the beginning of their journey. Ella had been far into hers, had picked up the pieces of her life, and had been living proof that a person could start over. And what had she done the moment she was faced with the fact that her abuser was back on the streets? She’d run.

“There isn’t a woman there who doesn’t understand,” Brooke said.

This was true, but it didn’t relieve the disappointment she felt in herself.

“I feel like I’ve let them down by letting my fear take over. I have to get past this, find my way back home, so I can face them.” She paused for a moment. “Have you…”

She couldn’t finish the question, but thankfully Brooke knew what she was talking about.

“I was there yesterday. I really didn’t have to say much about where you were. They’re all aware that Randy was being released. They wanted me to tell you to stay strong.”

Stay strong.
Tears threatened her eyes again. The motto they used to encourage each other in moments of weakness. Their words only made her more determined to gain control of her fear of Randy and return home. With Lance’s help, she’d get there.

They talked for a few more minutes before Brooke had to get off the phone to pick her kids up from school. As soon as she laid her cell down, the silence in the house started to close around her again. She stared at the pink pigs on her phone case as she debated calling her mom next.

The sudden ding-dong of the doorbell exploded in the quiet house. She jumped, her heart crashing against her ribs.

She slowly rose and inched toward the door, cursing the tightness constricting her throat. The fear angered her. She hadn’t felt like this over a doorbell in years. She wrapped her fingers around the baseball bat she had leaned against the wall.

“Who is it?” she called.

She peeked out the peephole. A man with a bandage on his forehead stood before two other men. Icy fear washed over her as it sank in that two of the men on the other side of the door were the Soprano wannabes who’d ganged up on Lance. Their ringleader—Ralph, if she recalled correctly—was missing, most likely because he was still recovering, as it’d only been a few days since the accident. That obviously hadn’t stopped the second in command from stepping forward to take his place.

Leaning against the door, she hugged the bat to her chest, mind racing with so many questions she could barely keep up. How did they know where she lived?

“What do you want?” she yelled through the door, glad to hear that her voice remained steady, even though everything else was shaking.

“We need to talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“I think you will…
Ella
.”

At his use of her real name, her lungs ceased to function, and a cold sweat broke out over her body. The bat fell from her grasp, clattering to the floor. Closing her eyes, she inhaled, then slowly released her breath and opened the door to an arrogant smile, belonging to an equally arrogant man.

“We thought that would make you a little more willing to talk,” he said.

“How?”

One word was all she could manage. All her careful planning, her need to disappear for a while, destroyed. Someone knew who she was.

“Did you think we haven’t been watching you…investigating you? You involved yourself in McNealy business.” His gaze went to the bat lying on the ground then back up to her. “As long as you cooperate, we won’t hurt you. All we’re here to do today is give you a job.”

“A-a job?”

He stepped closer, into her personal bubble, and even though every cell of her being screamed for her to put distance between them, she stood stock-still.

Never show weakness. Never allow intimidation. Always exude dominance.
She repeated her mantra, using the words to anchor the fear quickly rising up.

“We need a doctor.”

The mention of her occupation was so unexpected, all she could do was blink at them while her mind tried to make sense of what was happening. They needed a doctor. She was a doctor. Somehow they’d found out her name and what she did for a living, and now wanted to involve her in whatever illegal shit they operated. That final thought clicked her into focus.

Not happening. She didn’t care who they were or why they needed a doctor; she wasn’t getting pulled into some dark underground world.

“I believe there are plenty of doctors within a fifty mile radius who’d be thrilled to help you. I’m not one of them. Go find someone else.”

The man crossed the threshold and charged at her so quickly, her mantra flew out of her mind, and she stumbled backward until the wall prevented her from going any farther. The feeling of being trapped caused white spots to form before her eyes, and she sucked air into her lungs as he pressed his face into hers.

“You’re under the mistaken impression you get to refuse. You don’t.”

He was too close. Too intimidating. She wanted to crumble. Cry. Run. Hide.

Tears blurred her vision and enraged her. If this man could make her feel like this, then she’d never get to return home, because she would all but crumble the moment Randy came at her. Between clenched teeth, she forced out, “You need to back up.”

“Or what?”

Before she thought about that question too long, she shot her hand out and karate whacked him in the front of the throat. He fell to his knees, gagging as he clutched his neck. Her victory was short lived, as the two other guys raced across the threshold. One closed the front door, while the other pulled a gun on her. The barrel inches from her face. She froze.

“That was fucking uncool, bitch,” the one with the gun said.

She raised her hands in surrender, heart pounding so hard and fast she worried she’d pass out.