Healing Gabriel (17 page)

“Maybe I should stay and help you.  You fall in the tub all
the time.”

She flushed bright red.  “No way.  You’re not seeing me
naked.”

“I’ve already seen you naked.”  He pointed out.

“It’s different now.”  She muttered.

His brow creased and she cut him off before he could begin
to protest.  “I’ll be fine.  If I need your help, I’ll call for you okay?”

He nodded.  “I’ll be right outside the bathroom door.”

“Thank you.”

She waited until he had closed the door softly behind him
before stripping off her shirt and bra.  She wiggled awkwardly out of her pants
and underwear, grunting irritably when her underwear tangled around her ankles.

“Morgan?  Are you okay?”  Gabe called through the door.

“Fine!”  She said through gritted teeth as she pulled her
panties from her feet. 

Moving carefully she sat on the side of the tub and lifted
her legs into the tub.  She pushed off, balancing carefully on her good leg and
stood under the hot spray of water.  It felt marvelous and she stood for long
moments before, with a soft sigh, beginning to wash her hair.

“Wake up Gabe.”

Her soft voice penetrated the nightmare, and he grasped at
it like a man drowning.

“Wake up now.  C’mon honey.”

With a shuddering gasp, he tore himself out of the dream. 
He sat up in the bed, staring blankly at her, as she patted his arm.

“You’re okay.  It was just a nightmare.”

Morgan’s heart clenched painfully at the look of naked fear
on Gabe’s face.  She had woken in the night to hear him moaning and crying
out.  She lay in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, for nearly five minutes
before she had climbed out of bed, grabbed her crutches and hobbled her way to
his room.

“Morgan?”  He rasped.

“Yeah.  You’re okay.”  She hesitated and then placed her
hand on his bare chest and rubbed lightly. 

She didn’t like the way he looked – trembling and pale with
tears glinting in his eyes.  She continued to rub his chest, her fingers
tracing the scarred skin, while he stared up at her.  After a few moments, she
smiled shakily at him and stood up.

“Don’t leave me!”  He grabbed her arm with panicky tightness
and she immediately plopped back down on the bed.

She stroked his face and he leaned into her hand.  She
wondered how often he had the nightmares.  They hadn’t spent that many nights
together, but he had slept peacefully each night she was with him.

“Honey, how often do you have nightmares?”  She asked
gently.

He looked out the window at the cold darkness.  “Every
night.”

“I don’t remember you having them when we – we were
together.”

He turned to face her, his eyes naked with fear, and
whispered, “You kept them away.”

Her heart broke a little and she patted him on the
shoulder.  “Move over honey.”

He shifted over and she pushed back the covers and slid in
beside him.  She flinched as she turned on her side, but she reached out and
pulled lightly on his shoulders.

“Come here.”

Gabe hesitated before pressing his body up against hers.  He
buried his face in her throat as she started to rub his back, and breathed in
her familiar scent.  He was surprised to feel himself on the verge of tears and
he blinked them back fiercely.

The nightmare had been particularly terrible tonight.  He
was back in the car, trapped in his seat with the flames licking closer and
closer to him.  He had looked for Tony in the driver’s seat and had been
horrified to see Morgan sitting there instead.  She was staring at him, her
face full of pain and fear, and he had renewed his struggles to free himself.

“Gabe.”  She had whispered.  “Please, help me.”

He had reached for her, his hand stretching out as the
distance between their seats grew to an impossible length.  The flames were
touching her now, her clothes catching on fire and the skin on her face
beginning to bubble and peel as the scorching heat engulfed them both.

He had opened his mouth to scream when her voice had broken
through the nightmare and pulled him out.  Her voice and her sweet face was a
soothing balm to his soul and he didn’t -
couldn’t -
argue when she
joined him in his bed.

He was trembling again and she stroked his back before
kissing him lightly on the cheek.  “You’re okay honey.  Everything’s okay.”

“I’m so sorry.”  He said hoarsely.

“For what?”

“I’m supposed to be taking care of you.”

She squeezed him tightly.  “Don’t worry about it.”

He leaned back a little and looked at her.  “I miss you.”

She bit her bottom lip and blinked rapidly before clearing
her throat.  “Go to sleep Gabe.”

“I’m so sorry I hurt you Morgan.”  He cupped her face and
rested his forehead against hers.  “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“Gabe…” She trailed off and he stared encouragingly at her. 
When she didn’t reply he kissed her forehead and then the tip of her nose.

“Say it Morgan.  Just tell me that you hate me now.  You’ll
feel better.”

She shook her head.  “I don’t hate you.”

“You should.”  He whispered.

She stared at him.  Their faces were very close now and she
could feel his warm breath on her mouth.  She took a shuddering breath and then
her mouth was on his, and she was kissing him with a deep and frantic need.

He groaned and kissed her back before pulling away
abruptly.  “Morgan, wait.  This isn’t – I didn’t mean for you to – “

“Kiss me Gabe.  I miss you too.  Please, I miss you so
much.”

He lowered his mouth to hers, and they kissed with slow and
tender strokes of their lips and tongues.  He cupped her breast through her
t-shirt, teasing her nipple into a hard point as she arched her back and moaned
softly.

“Naked.”  She whispered.  “I want you naked.”

He yanked his boxers down his legs, kicking them off his
feet impatiently and then helped her shed her clothes.  As he pulled her
panties down her legs, he placed a gentle kiss on the bruised and stitched
flesh of her leg.

“Honey, maybe we shouldn’t do this.  Your leg is – “

“No.”  She rose up on her elbows and he groaned at the sight
of her breasts thrusting forward.  “It’s fine.  We’ll go slowly.”

“Are you sure?”  He placed a kiss on her knee and she
nodded.

“Very sure.”

He gave her a searching look before kissing his way up her
inner thigh.  She spread her legs, he frowned at the way she winced, but she
tugged lightly on his hair and he dipped his head and kissed the soft curls
between her legs.

She sighed lightly and he licked her soft folds and warm
flesh until she was soaking wet and moaning his name.  He traced her swollen
clit with the tip of his tongue and she dug her nails into his scalp.

“Please Gabe.  I need you inside of me.”  She begged.

He kissed his way up her body and carefully positioned
himself between her thighs.  She wrapped her left leg around his hips, leaving
her right one flat on the bed, and ran her fingers across his mouth. 

“Tell me if I’m hurting you.”  He whispered.

Morgan smiled and raised her head to place a soft kiss on
his mouth.  She could taste herself on his lips and it made her legs tremble
with desire. 

“You won’t.”  She reached between them and guided his cock
into her tight opening.  He groaned and she made a soft noise of pleasure.

“It feels so good Gabe.  You feel so good.”  She whispered
against his mouth.

He moved in her with slow, controlled movements and she
arched her hips upwards, relishing the feel of his large, thick cock sliding in
and out of her.

He stared down at her and kissed her tenderly.  He thrust
back and forth before stopping with his cock buried deep inside of her.  After
a moment, she wiggled under him.

“Gabe, please.”  Although she knew he was moving slowly in
deference to her injured thigh, his measured, unrelenting pace was driving her
mad with need.  Having him stop completely was pure torture.

“I love you Morgan.”

She stiffened under him and looked at him with wide, shocked
eyes.

“I love you.”  He repeated softly and began moving in her
with gentle, steady thrusts.

She was going to climax soon, she could feel it building in
her belly and pelvis, and as the pleasure built to an almost unbearable level,
she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed her mouth to his ear.

“I love you too Gabe.”

At her softly-uttered words, he cried out and came deep
within her.  His climax triggered her own and she shook and shuddered beneath
him.  Her thigh protested but the pleasure overpowered the slight pain, and she
arched her body into him and whispered she loved him again before collapsing on
the bed.

He kissed her mouth, her cheeks, her throat and her upper
chest before easing off of her and lying on his back beside her.  He gathered
her into his arms, pressing her head against his chest.  She listened to the
steady thump of his heart and stared into the darkness.

* * *

“This was a mistake.”

They had been lying in the darkness for over an hour, and he
thought she had fallen asleep.

He pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead. 
“It wasn’t.  Don’t say that.”

“It was.”  She insisted.

He sat up and reached for the bedside lamp.  As the light
illuminated the room with a soft glow, he turned to face her.

“I love you Morgan.  It wasn’t a mistake.”

Her lips were trembling as she sat up, and he reached for
her.  She shied away from him.  “Please don’t Gabe.”

“Morgan – “

She started to cry and he gave her a helpless look.  “Please
honey, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She swiped at the tears almost angrily.  “I know.”  She took
a deep breath.  “I want you to know that what I’m about to say doesn’t change
the fact that I love you too okay?”

He nodded and, unable to help himself, reached out and
snagged her hand.  She stared down at their clasped hands.  “I’ve been doing a
lot of thinking the last couple of months and I’ve realized that you’re right. 
I’ve been in love with you for a while now, and at first I thought that it
would be enough.  That everything else didn’t really matter and just loving
each other would be enough to make it work.”

She raised her head and gave him a trembling smile.  “Except
I’ve realized that – that this isn’t some fairy tale.  It isn’t a stupid Beauty
and the Beast story where my loving you fixes your pain and gives us a happy
ending.”

She reached out and traced the scars on his face.  “This is
real life, and our problems can’t be solved with a kiss and a declaration of
love.  No matter what I say or do, no matter how much I love you, there will
always be a part of you that thinks you’re not good enough for me.”

She sighed.  “You’re right you know.  I keep saying that it
won’t bother me if you want to keep cutting yourself off from the rest of the
world but the truth is, I don’t know if it won’t.  I – I want to believe that
it won’t bother me.  I want to be the person who understands your fears and accepts
you for exactly who you are, because you deserve that Gabriel.  You’re a
wonderful man and I know you think you’re not good enough for me but honestly,
I’m not sure that I’m good enough for you.”

“You are Morgan.”  He said fiercely.  “You’re the sweetest,
kindest person I know and I love you.”

She brushed at the tears spilling down her cheeks.  “I’m
worried that I’m not the person I think I am.  That, five years down the road
or two years or ten years, I start to resent you for not joining me at parties or
weddings or even the grocery store.  I’ll break your heart.”

“Morgan – “

She shook her head.  “I can’t stand the thought of hurting
you like that Gabe.  I – I think it’s better if we end this now before we start
to love too deeply.”

It’s too late
, he thought bleakly before he squeezed
her hand.

“I’ll try Morgan.  I’ll make an effort to – to rejoin the
world.  I can’t make any promises but I’ll do my best to – “

“No.”  She sniffed and wiped at her nose with the heel of
her hand.  “I won’t ask you to do that.  It isn’t fair.” 

She stroked the side of his face again.  “I know you want to
try.  I can’t tell you how much I love you for that but Gabe, don’t you see
what will happen?  You’ll be miserable and eventually you’ll start to resent
me.  Our love for each other will just disappear under a cloud of anger and
resentment.”

She suddenly leaned forward and gave him a hard kiss before
reaching for her t-shirt and slipping it over her head.  “I should go back to
my room.”

“Stay the night with me Morgan.”

“I can’t honey.  And I know I said I would stay until Sunday
but I think it’s better if you take me home in the morning.  I’ll be fine and I
promise I’ll text you if I need anything okay?”

“So that’s it?  You’re not even going to let me try?  I’m
just supposed to walk away from the woman I love?”  He said angrily.

“Yes.”  She replied.

He glared at her.  “What if I don’t want to?  What if I can’t?”

“Two months ago you told me this wouldn’t work and asked me
to leave.  I did, even though it broke my heart.  Now I’m asking you to do the
same for me.”

His anger deflated like a balloon, leaving him feeling cold
and empty and sick to his stomach.  He watched as she sat on the side of the
bed and reached for her crutches.  Without looking at him, she thumped out of
the room, closing the door softly behind her.

* * *

“Hey look at you!  No crutches!”  Lacey grinned at Morgan
and pulled her into a brief, hard hug.

“Yup.  And no stitches either. The doctor removed them
today.”

“That’s wonderful!”  Lacey said as Peter and Natalia joined
them.

It had been a week since Gabe had driven her back to her
apartment, carried her up the stairs, and given her a slow and thorough kiss
before leaving her.  She had wanted to cry but she had held the tears back
fiercely.  It didn’t matter how much she loved him, she needed to let him go.

“Hi Ms. Wilson.”

“Hi Natalia.”

“When are you coming back to school?  I miss you.”

“As a matter of fact,” Morgan lifted the little girl into
her arms and kissed her smooth cheek, “I’ll be back on Monday.”

“Really?”  Nat gave her a delighted grin and Morgan nodded.

“Yes.  My leg is much better now.”

The little girl wiggled against her as she looked at her
mom.  “Mama, Jade and Chris are at the monkey bars.  Can I join them?”

Lacey nodded as Morgan set Nat on the ground.  “Yes you may,
but you have to stay at the playground equipment and not go anywhere else
unless you tell me or daddy first.  Do you understand?”

“Yes mama.”  Natalia skipped away to the playground
equipment as Lacey and Peter stared after her fondly.