Headstrong Quarterback: A New Adult Sports Romance (5 page)

When he kissed me, he was amazingly serene, peaceful, and warm. I craved his manliness, ached to be in his clutches, and wanted to be his. My jaw didn’t tense and my shoulder’s didn’t freeze. I simply wanted to be with him. I wasn’t afraid. My head buzzed with desire.

Steel pulled me over him. I let my leg fall between his thighs. Even fully dressed, every ounce of me craved him. Only a kiss, insanely simple and sexy, left me needing more. His lips were on mine, his tongue exploring me, only stopping long enough to nibble on my bottom lip tenderly. His mouth, dear God, his mouth tasted, teased, and consumed me. It was the most sensual kiss I’d ever experienced.

His hands slid down my back, then rested on the curve of my ass. He cupped an ass cheek through the denim of my jeans, and secured me in place, as if I was going somewhere. My hips gyrated. I wanted to grind against him. My body took over for my mind in a blissful moment.

Hunger and desire kept us ratcheted tightly to one another, tangled and clinging. His hands groped me gently. My panties went from slightly damp to wet, and I wasn’t ashamed.

“I don’t want to press you,” he said.

“I know, but I want it, too,” I admitted.

It didn’t matter that we were on a dirty, old mattress with cheap sheets. It didn’t matter that we were in a crappy room with walls as thin as paper, and that the only light in the room was a bare bulb with no shade. It didn’t matter that the bathroom was down the hall and rusted and worn. It didn’t matter that people fell into the walls stumbling down the hallway, because the only thing we could see or hear in that moment was each other.

His fingers slid below the edge of my shirt. He caressed me, and in a single moment I froze. I wanted him, needed him, and yet that single second shut me down. Mentally, I collapsed.  

“Shh, we don’t have to.” He sensed my fear, allowed for it, and just held me. I was safe to stay; I didn’t have to run away. He was patient and warm. Why was he so damn patient with me? Why did I deserve such kindness? I didn’t want to be a dick-tease. And yet… the expression gnawed at me.

We fell asleep at some point, but a large crash in the hallway startled us awake.

“We need to get you out of here,” was all he said.

I was tired and groggy.

“Come on,” he whispered. “You can stay at my place for a while. I have extra space.”

I couldn’t just up and leave, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“We’ll come back tomorrow to gather your stuff.”

I didn’t protest. I had nothing left to say. I followed him blindly and climbed into his truck. The large SUV roared to life as he turned the ignition. We drove out of the crappy part of town until we crossed into a nicer section. He pulled up to a large house, then parked in the garage. I followed him into the rented home that his team had set up for him.

In the new accommodations, he brought me to bed and tucked me in.

“I’ll sleep in the other room,” he said quietly.

I whispered. “Don’t leave.”

He nodded, pulled his shirt and shoes off and climbed beside me.

His bare chest was a wall of muscle. My heart raced.

He’d draped the covers over us, and I curled into the nook of his chest and arm. I slept better that night than I had in ages. By the time I woke, he was already in the kitchen. I found him with a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee.

He looked up. “How did you sleep?”

“Good, thanks,” I felt out of place. I didn’t belong here. He didn’t have to rescue me, but I was glad that he did.

He took a sip from his mug, then spoke. “Here, sit down. I’ll make you some coffee.”

“Thanks.” He moved comfortably in the kitchen, not afraid to use appliances.

“I don’t think your place at Phil’s is safe,” he started. “You should stay with me for a while, just until we find you something else.”

I was embarrassed. “I can’t afford anything else. It has to be okay.”

“Don’t let your pride get in the way of your safety.” Point made. “How much do you pay for the space?”

I didn’t want to answer.

“You can rent out one of my rooms if it’s a matter of pride. You’ll stay here,” he finished, as if I had no say in it.

“I’m my own person. I appreciate the offer, but I can take care of myself.” So what if it was pride. My stomach tangled like a ball of yarn.

“I want to take care of you.” His tone changed. “Avery, I know you’ve done fine so far, but just give it a shot. Stick around for a week or two. See how it works out. I have extra space and you need somewhere better to stay.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was caught up in his rescue mission, yet embarrassed I needed to be rescued. I quietly agreed.

“We’ll go get your things in a bit.” He wasn’t asking my approval, he simply told me how it was going to be.

As much as my ego was in a twisted, weird place, it would be a relief to sleep without fear and have a clean bathroom to use.

“Go pick one of the back rooms; take whichever you want. I mean it, no pressure. I’m not putting the moves on you. I want you to be safe.”

“Thank you.” What else could I say? The idea of waking up in a safe environment was a relief. I just didn’t expect his genuine desire to want better things for me.

We sat and talked over breakfast. Little bits of his life slipped out. He told me about the odd jobs he took growing up, and how he cut lawns and delivered newspapers when he was young, then went onto other jobs as he got older.  He spoke of his neighborhood and growing up with his sister, and the silly things they’d do to pass time. It was the most he’d ever said at one time, but it was wonderful to see him laugh and smile.

When Steel asked me for stories of my past, I had none. I couldn’t find a single memory I wanted to share. It’s not that I didn’t have good memories; I just couldn’t pull them up on demand in the moment.

I took a long look at his face. You could see swelling where my step-brother’s fist connected the prior day. His nose was fine, so I assumed it was the monster’s nose that crushed. I heard bone crunching. Maybe it was his cheek. I didn’t look.

It hit me fast. Unexpectedly, tears washed down my face. I’d brought nothing but problems and pain to Steel. I didn’t want that. He’d been so good to me.

“Avery, it’s going to be okay. Every day gets a little better. I’m sorry you had to see him, and that I couldn’t control myself, but time heals a lot.”

“I’m crying out of gratitude, not pain. You’ve been so good to me.”

He looked at me with curiosity.

“I’m not used to somebody taking care of me.”

He stood and pulled me into his arms. “It’s okay, baby, let it out.”

I’m not sure how it happened, one thing led to another… we were in his room, our clothes were coming off, and I wanted him as much as I’d ever wanted anything or anyone.

Steel lifted my shirt over my head. I watched him as he took in my naked image.  I could barely breathe. My heart lodged in my throat.

Steel’s gaze was intense, almost smothering me. Would I be who he wanted me to be?

His confidence spoke for both of us. He was in charge. He wouldn’t lead me astray. I could trust him. Goose bumps shot up my arms.

With slow and steady movements, we connected. He traced my skin, his fingers etching over me, barely grazing my flesh. Lazy circles traced around my breasts. He teased my nipple, and I thought I might collapse on the spot. I closed my eyes, getting lost in the sensation. They were painfully, slow intoxicating movements, he knew how to please a woman. I was safe in his hands.

His hot breath close to my skin brought tears to my eyes.
They were tears of joy. I didn’t rebel at his touch. I wanted more.
His mouth was warm, and as he latched onto my nipple I knew I was ready to take the next step. My head and heart were in agreement. Steel Brickman was a man I could trust.

He milked me, lulling me into a soft place. His mouth and fingers tempted me. Slowly, his fingers moved lower. He wrapped his big bear paws around the button and zipper, and drew my pants down. I held my breath and waited. I shifted, helping him push them over my hips and past my thighs.

Then they were off. I stepped out of them and stood in only my panties. It didn’t matter that there was still cloth on my body; I felt naked and vulnerable under his eyes. With my consent, we continued. With a leap of faith, I let my panties hit the floor.

My hands shot up instinctually, covering my body. He placed his hands over mine and pulled them away. “You’re safe.”

“Steel,” I finally whispered before we went any further. “I want this, but I’m afraid I’ll stop us again.”

“And if you do, we’ll stop.”

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” I admitted.

“I don’t have any expectations.” He soothed my concerns.

“Okay…” My voice was small.

He slipped out of his jeans and led me to the bed. He left his underwear on for the time being, not wanting to overwhelm me. His cock was pressed tight to his boxer briefs, trying to make an escape.

In his willingness to bend, I saw his maturity. He had the confidence to lead, but allowed me my faults. He’d help me advance, take a step forward in reclaiming my life.

I sucked in my lower lip, as he caressed my naked body with kisses. Gently grazing my skin with his fingertips, I buzzed with excitement and arousal. His movements were cautious and slow.  I’d never had such a generous and patient lover.

As his fingers danced closer to my nether lips, my body stiffened. I didn’t mean for it to happen.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.

“No, don’t stop.” I was sure of it.

His fingers moved over my lips, tender and soft. I breathed in the moment. My body felt wonderful, my brain was seized in panic. There was a fire I needed to put out. In the mist of my confusion, the tip of his finger slipped between my lips and I let go.

A sigh of relief, a moan.

A hurdle. I was over the hurdle. My heart sang. He pressed inside of me, and I let him in. With a final exhale, I parted my legs and let him know I was okay.

***

Making love to Steel that day was unlike anything I could have imagined. How could I not fall in love? He saved me from myself. I feared I might retreat at some point, scramble and hide, but I’d stop myself. I had to, Steel was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Collapsing beside him, I curled against my lover. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” he said.

In the crook of his arm, I snuggled in.

The words felt so natural, and the talking came easy in those moments. The new intimacy drew us closer, bonded us. I shared a story from my childhood, a silly one about skipping and tripping on a curb. I still had a tiny scar if you looked closely.

He spoke of the arrest, and wishing he could control his rage. It’s not like he snapped over tiny things, but when he got to that point, it was hard to shut it down. He said his mother would be upset with him for not acting like a man in those moments. She would have wanted him to walk away, not use violence. I saw that while he had raw power, he wanted more choice on how he used it. Once it was flipped, it was hard to go back.

We talked about his career and the first time he met the agent. He was shocked to hear the offer, but had to turn it down. His sister convinced him that he needed to take the deal. He seemed close to her. I was glad that she’d healed from whatever she’d been through.

I told him how I wanted to be in the circus when I was small, but then realized that I’d have to move all the time, and decided it wasn’t for me. I then wanted to be a veterinarian until I realized I wasn’t good with science. Now I had no idea what I wanted to do, though I was going through the motions of getting a degree. I’d be graduating soon and had zero clues what direction to go in.

It was wonderful. I could have stayed there all day, but we had things to do. I felt free for the first time in ages. I’d been caged inside of myself, trapped in a mental prison, and I was finally handed the key.

We showered and redressed, then went to collect my things. Steel smoothed things over with the owner, and gave him money to cover my leaving on short notice. He’d find another tenant. I’d still work there, so it’s not like Phil’s was out of my life. Besides, I liked working there. My customers knew me. Nobody wanted to talk. They didn’t care, as long as I kept their drinks and shots filled. They weren’t there for the entertainment value.

“You’re sure you want to do this?” I asked, giving him the chance to back out.

“There’s no reason not to.”

We moved my few items into a back bedroom at his place. Having my own bathroom excited me more than anything. It was clean. I could take long, hot showers. It was safe. It’s not like I could stay there forever, but instant relief was mine for the taking.

I’d sleep without fear. Nobody would slam down the hallway. I wouldn’t have to barricade the bathroom door. I felt like a thrown away teddy-bear that had been picked up and cherished after being found on the side of the road.

I wasn’t sure where our relationship was going, but having my own room gave us both space. I was certain I’d sleep in his bed as often as my own. I’d been alone for such a long time, it felt odd saying I was in a relationship. That’s what it was, right?

***

The following day, his mood changed. He’d been charged with disorderly conduct. That wasn’t the issue, since it was basically a fine in this case, but my step-brother was pressing charges. With a slew of witnesses… Well, he was unprovoked, and Steel shattered part of his cheekbone and his nose. Things didn’t look good.

When I got home from work, I found him grumbling and already slurring his words.

“What happened?” I wasn’t used to seeing him this way.

“My fucking life is ruined is what happened. It’s all over the news. I got a warning that the team might dissolve my contract.”

“Oh, shit,” I said. This was my fault. Not really, but it felt that way. I closed my eyes and searched for answers, grasping for straws. I found nothing. The strong and powerful man I knew had been crushed beneath a heap of legal trouble. Bad publicity could be scarring to the Red Hawks. People didn’t like it when players went rogue. If they kicked him off the team…shit.

“I defended your honor,” he started. “Your rape is going to come out in all of this. You’re going to have to press charges in return.”

I panicked. My heart leaped to my throat. I could barely breathe. “I can’t do that. I don’t want to relive it.”

He looked at me, annoyance on his face.

I snapped. “I didn’t ask you to jump him.”

Steel jumped up. “You’d let them hang me for this?”

I immediately felt bad for the last comment. I’d hidden my pain under the table for so long. It was easier to ignore what happened. I didn’t want to go back and think about the details again. I didn’t want to relive the experience. And yet, Steel was trying to protect me, to right a wrong. I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”

“I have a lawyer. She’s going to need details. It won’t be easy, but I need you to do this.”

I felt the color drain from my face. It was as if somebody was choking me, and all life slipped out of my body.

He continued. “There’s no going back. The allegations are on the table.  They’ll say I was protecting you from your former rapist. We might stand a shot. My reaction was natural in the circumstances.”

I barely recognized my voice. I paced like a trapped rat. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

He answered, without emotion. It was cut and dry in his eyes. “You have to.”

“The wound will split open again. My family will be in my face…I don’t think that I can…”

“I’ll be by your side, Avery. You can do this. I’ll protect you.”

“How, by jumping on him again?” I shot out, unapologetically.

Steel growled. “I did it for you.”

“I didn’t ask you to.” Hot tears stained my face. He wanted to tear off my scar and let it bleed fresh again. What he was asking me to do was go back to the past and…no.

Steel braced himself on the back of a chair and slurred. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? What do you want from me?”

“What do you want from me,” I challenged.

“For you to have my back, like I had yours.” His glare said it all.

He was right. He had my back, and I wanted to run and hide in response. I dropped my head, the shame of the words kicked me in the gut. “Fine.”

The tension in his jaw relaxed as he sat back down.

I had no idea what that would mean. If I could follow through, but it was time to have his back. He shouldn’t suffer for my mistakes.

“My sister’s flying in later this week. I told her what was going on. She wants to be here.”

Great; somebody else to judge me.