Heading East (Part 2 of 2) (The True North Series) (16 page)

1
9

KAT

When West left Alaska it hurt for a few days—okay, maybe weeks—but that kind of pain didn’t compare to this constant ache I felt deep down in my bones. It went beyond emotional and became a physical kind of hurt that often made my stomach churn or my chest cramp. I hated it, hated that another human being had made me so needy even my subconscious found ways to try and bring him to me every night, a coping mechanism that only made it worse when I left the dream state and woke to an empty bed.

And hell, he’d only been gone three days.

The apartment felt three times its size, especially at night when the lights were off. Without West I was on my own for the first time in a long time. While before I would have loved the isolation, this time I felt almost suffocated by it.

I paced around one night, staring at the pictures taped to the wall, unable to take another minute of sewing. I’d tried burying myself in my final project—a collection that we’d show at the end of the month—but had enough for the time being. The final straw came when I turned to my headless
dressform and asked if it thought the dress fit well.

“I
gotta get out of here,” I said, stomping through to the other apartment to West’s room. Inside his nightstand was his address book and I flipped through it, skimming past a multitude of female names. Finally I found the name I’d been searching for and dialed the number on my cell phone.

“Hello?” Decker answered. “Who is this?”

“Hey, it’s Kat,” I said, walking out to the living room.

“Oh, hi!” he said with a relieved laugh. “I sweat bullets when an unknown number calls me.”

“Now why’s that?”

“You really don’t want to know,” he said. “So what’s up?”

When I remembered what a despicable human being Decker was, how he made sport of women just like the old Luke, I almost hung up. But the thought of spending another night on my own kept me on the line. “I wanted to see if you wanted to grab dinner or a drink or something.”

“Sure, when?”

“Tonight.”

“Well, I already had dinner, but we can meet at The Raines Law Room for a few drinks.”

“The what?”

He chuckled. “It’s a speakeasy bar. You’ll like it.”

“Okay…” I looked around, the dark screen of the television showing my reflection in the empty kitchen. Frankly, I didn’t care where we were going as long as it was far from here. “Just tell me how to get there.”

We met up on West 17
th
Street thirty minutes later where Decker led me down an unmarked stairwell and through a black door. I didn’t know what to expect when I entered the large, dark room, lit only by sconces on the wall. The place had an old-timey feel, with its wood paneled ceiling and leather tufted seats. We sat near the back on two armchairs flanking a small coffee table.

“I’m glad we’re doing this, Kat,” he said with a smile after we ordered our drinks.

“Just to be clear, we’re here on a purely friendly basis.”

He laughed. “You must consider me the world’s biggest asshole if you think I’ll try to make a move on my best friend’s woman.”

“I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.”

“We are.” He lifted his glass and clinked it with mine before taking a drink. “I have nothing but respect for you.”

I eyed him warily. “Why is that?”

“You have made a world of difference to my friend.”

“You think so?”

“Hell yes. I, more than anyone, have seen how much he’s changed. It’s kind of inspiring actually.”

“Does it make you want to become an honest man and settle down with one woman?” I asked with a grin.

“I guess, yeah. If the right woman ever came along.” He chuckled. “But it hasn’t happened yet, and probably never will.”

“Hey, stranger things have happened.”

“Kat, let me ask you something,” he said, sitting up and leaning his elbows on his knees. “Did you really think the entire school was against you?”

The breath caught in my throat. I hadn’t prepared to delve into the past. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Come on,” he urged. “I was there, I watched you turn from a regular student into the outcast of the school. I just want to figure out what happened.”

“What happened is that puberty hit and made everyone into assholes and bitches.” Including myself, now that I think about it.

“I never said or did anything to you.”

“I remember.”

“Though in hindsight, I probably should have stood up for you.”

“It wouldn’t have made a difference. I was different from them, from you, and that made my presence there offensive. Like by simply existing I was ruining their day.” When he didn’t look appeased, I said, “Don’t worry about it. It’s over. It’s done. I’ve made peace with my past.”

“Really?”

“Though if I were to run into that football playing asshole again, I’d probably deck him.”

“Then we’d be calling you Decker,” he said with a grin. “You might not know this, but you’ve come a long way, you know.”

“How so?”

“Well, Luke told me that you had a panic attack just by being at the mall. And now here you are, having drinks with someone from your past.”

I sipped my beer, dwelling on his words. Was he right? Had I changed so much? Was the old Kat still underneath, and if so, did I want her back?

My phone vibrated in my pocket and, seeing
West’s name on the screen, I immediately answered it. “Hey.”

“Hi Kat,” he said sounding a little tired. “Happy early birthday.”

“Thank you.”

“I wish I could be there with you and give you a birthday orgasm.”

I crossed my legs, feeling a tingle going through me. “Me too.”

Decker mouthed, “Is it Luke?” and when I nodded, he held out his palm.

“Decker wants to talk to you,” I said.

“Wait,
what?”

I handed the phone over and Decker held it against his ear with a huge smile. “Luke, I am out with your lady,” he said with a shark’s grin. “Hey, it’s not my fault. She asked
me
out.”

I could hear Luke’s voice but couldn’t make out what he was saying. “Sure, man. I got it,” Decker said after a few minutes and handed the phone back.

“Hey, listen, I can’t talk for too long,” West said. “We’re getting back on the bus in five minutes and heading to Atlanta.”

“Okay. How are the shows so far?” I asked.

“It’s been so good, Kat,” he said, his voice lighting up. “Being up there on the stage and performing songs that
I
wrote. It’s amazing. There’s nothing like it.”

I felt a strange gladness wash over me and that’s when I knew—I
really
knew—that this was the real fucking deal. Real love. And the crazy thing was that it no longer scared me. “I love you,” I said. “I’m happy your dream has come true.”

“I wish you were with me,” he said. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you later. I love you, Kat.”

After I hung up, Decker shook his head with a smile on his face. “You guys make me sick.”

I felt my face warm. I’d forgotten all about Decker. “Shut up.”

“No, it’s nice,” he said, holding his palms out. “He even asked me to look out for you.”

“I don’t need looking after.”

“He knows that, but it doesn’t keep him from wanting to protect you.”

“And you’re my great protector?” I asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, unfortunately,” he said with an affable grin.

Decker was true to his duties and walked me home, making sure I was inside the building before hailing a taxi himself. And as I lay in bed later on, going over the night, I counted the ways my life had changed in one year and, in the dark as the clock struck twelve, quietly said goodbye to the old Kat and welcomed the new.

The next day I woke to an annoying buzzing noise and only after several disoriented seconds did I finally recognize it as the
doorbell. “Hold onto your fucking panties,” I grumbled as I walked towards the door. I pressed the call button. “What?”

“Happy birthday!” shouted a male voice.

I stared at the intercom box in shock and pressed the button to let him in. I threw open the door and, in my shorts and tank top, went out to the hallway in crazy anticipation. My heart was thrumming hard as I waited but, when the elevator doors slid apart, the man inside was not the one I was expecting.

“Decker?” I asked. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He came towards me and held out a bunch of flowers. “Happy birthday.”

“Um, how did you know?” I took the bouquet and stared at it, only able to name one of the flowers.
Roses and something white and something else with lots of petals.

“Luke asked me to give you this,” he said and before I knew it he was wrapping his arms around me and giving my back a friendly, if a little awkward, pat.

“Thanks,” I said, stepping back quickly.

“He also asked me to take you somewhere.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, distinctly aware that I wasn’t wearing a bra. “Where?”

“I can’t tell you.” He looked down at his expensive watch. “Go take a shower and do whatever else you need to do, then we can go.”

He came in with me and said he’d wait in West’s apartment and watch TV while I dressed.

“You’re not going to take me out on a date or anything, are you?” I called across the patio. “On behalf of my boyfriend?”

He sat down on the couch, flinging his arms across the back, and shook his head. “No. This surprise is only marginally better.”

“What are we doing here?” I asked an hour and a half later when Decker drove his fancy car past the JFK Airport signs.

“You’ll see,” he said with an excited grin. “But before you get really excited, no, we are
not
here to pick up Luke.”

He drove past the airport then turned onto a back street towards a row of warehouses.

“Um, are you taking me back here to murder me?” I asked, eyeing the rows and rows of trucks and buildings. “Because I have to tell you now, that’s not going to work out in your favor.”

He grinned over at me. “I don’t doubt it.” He pulled in front of an office building. “Okay, sit tight. I’ll be right back.”

I watched him walk into the building, wondering why the hell I was sitting in a fucking expensive car at nine thirty in the morning on my birthday of all days. “I should be in bed, sleeping in,” I mumbled to myself, looking over the shiny dashboard and the wood inlay.

After ten minutes of nothing, when I’d finally got tired of smirking at the expensive car and its audacious accouterments, Decker emerged from the building. In his hand was a leash, and at his side walked a beautiful white German
Shepherd.

“Josie!” I yelled, scrambling out of the car. Upon hearing my voice she strained on the leash until Decker finally let go. I crouched down and she ran into my arms, nearly knocking
me on my ass, then nuzzled my cheek all the while making little whining noises in her throat.

Tears stung my eyes as I gripped her soft coat, not realizing until that moment how much I’d missed her. “Did
West arrange this?” I asked as Decker approached.

Decker stuck his hands in his pockets, looking very happy with himself. “Perhaps.”

I buried my face in Josie’s fur, hugging her to me. I turned when I felt something poking my shoulder, finding Decker’s cell phone by my face.

“Kat? Happy birthday,”
West said as soon as I held the phone up to my ear. “Do you like your surprise?”

“I do! Thank you!” I said, a happy laugh bubbling up from my chest. “How did you do it?”

“Franny and I coordinated it.”

“You guys are the best.”

“Yes we are.” He paused. “It feels good to hear you laugh. I wish I could be there right now to see the smile on your face.”

“Me too.”

“Listen, Kat, I have to go. We’re headed to sound check.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Eight more days,” I said, rubbing Josie behind her ears. “Thank you for my gift.”

“You’re worth it, Kat. More than you know.”

After Decker drove us back to the apartment, I took Josie upstairs and introduced her to the apartments.

“You’d better not piss on anything or West will kill us,” I said, following her around while she sniffed along the floorboards and then took a long leak on the grassy area of the courtyard. She then sat down and cocked her head, fixing me with a look that hurt my guilt-ridden heart.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I sank to my knees and held out my hand. “Come on, Josie.”