Head Start (Cedar Tree #7) (6 page)

Holy schnikes. What a head case.

Looking through the windshield, I see him standing at the edge of the parking lot. His hands on his hips and staring at me through the glass. In just seconds, I have the car started and drive past him without sparing a glance his way. My heart is pounding in my chest. I’m cursing myself for having wasted time on this guy. He’d seemed like a nice enough guy on paper, but obviously a bit creepy and intense in real life. 

Just in case, I circle through a few side roads before driving home. By the time I pull into my parking spot, I’m pretty sure no one could have followed me. For a moment I am tempted to call Neil, but quickly dismiss that thought. I don’t need to encourage him even more.

I quickly get to work on the empty boxes that are waiting for me, packing up my kitchen and loose odds and ends throughout my apartment. By the time I’m done, I’m dead on my feet. It doesn’t take me long to clean up in the bathroom before slipping on my oversized T-shirt and crawling under the covers of my mattress on the floor, exhausted.

Still, it isn’t until I can hear the faint chirping of birds announcing the onset of dawn, that my mind finally lets me drift off.

N
eil

“One americano, one latte, please,” I tell the woman at the Silver Bean. It’s a quaint aluminum Twinkie trailer, converted into a coffee shop, sitting at the start of Main Street in Cortez. “Oh, and add a couple of breakfast burritos and two cinnamon rolls, please.”

I turn my back on the trailer and look out on the road. It’s surprisingly busy for an early Saturday morning. I’m lost in thought, wondering how to capitalize on the time I’ll be spending with Kendra today. Breakfast seemed like a good place to start, which is why I pulled in here. I’m hoping to score points with the Latte, her favored way to drink coffee. I pay attention, making it a point to know as much about her as I can. Too bad all she wants to see is the joking, gaming, young buck. I’ve been trying to eradicate those preconceived ideas for a long fucking time. Of course I worked hard myself in establishing that carefree impression to cover up memories of dark nights on desert hills. Most of the guys at GFI know I served overseas, but they never asked and I never told. Gus is the only one who knows I was a sniper with one of the Special Ops units. It’s not something I advertise. My technical skills weren’t the only thing Gus was interested in when he hired me, but I was happy to play the techie nerd for everyone else. It also worked in my favor that I look younger than I am. The guys know my birthday but not the year, except for Gus, and I never volunteered the information. I made my own bed, regarding Kendra, who has some serious hang up about age, and despite the fact that the difference isn’t as big as she thinks, she
is
still older, and it’s the one thing I cannot change about myself for her.

“Two breakfast burritos, two cinnamon rolls, an Americano and a Latte.”

I turn around, grab the two brown paper bags and slap a twenty on the counter before picking up the tray with the coffees. Hope she’s hungry.

Her apartment is close by. I pull into a parking spot closest to the front lobby and, armed with breakfast, make my way to her front door. I have to knock on the door a few times before I hear the click of a lock being turned on the other side.

“Hey,” she says, her eyes swollen with sleep and hair a mess, barely stifling a yawn. She’s wearing nothing but a large shirt which she tugs down to cover as much of her legs as she can. The pillow creases on her face show me she just woke up. She looks cute, cuddly, like a wrinkly little puppy.

“Let me guess,” I wink at her as I slip by her into the apartment. “The mattress on the floor didn’t quite cut it.” Turning back to her, I see she is still standing with the door partially opened in her hand, looking out over the parking lot below. “Kendra?”

Her head whips around and she quickly closes,
and locks
, the door. What the fuck?

“What’s going on?” I snap, instantly wincing at the loss of my carefully honed control. Kendra gives me a long look before turning down the short hallway toward what I assume is her bedroom. Even though her behavior concerns me, I can’t help but appreciate the sway of her round ass and the shape of her toned, althletic legs.

“So what did you bring?” She comes out a minute later, having put on a pair of worn jeans, likely in an effort to cover up. Her hands are working to pull her hair into her standard ponytail as she throws an inquiring look my way.

“Breakfast. And don’t think for one second you can distract me. Something’s going on and you
will
tell me.”

She frowns and presses her lips together, while looking over my shoulder at nothing.

“Kendra.” I use my most threatening voice, which sounds more like a growl. Her eyes snap to mine immediately. “What has you spooked? You open the door in a sleep shirt, looking like you’ve barely slept at all. It’s obvious something has you shaken. What is it?” I pull the lid off her Latte and shove it toward her. It was that or pull her in my arms, which I’m not sure would go over well.

“I didn’t sleep well,” she mumbles, her lips around the rim of the coffee cup, her hair falling from the haphazard ponytail to cover her face.

“I can see that, babe. Talk to me.” This time I don’t hold back, I reach out, wipe her hair off her face and tuck it behind her ear. Her eyes come up and I can see a hint of surprise there.

“It’s nothing, I’m just tired,” she says, and I know right away that she’s not telling me everything. I observe her as she sips on her coffee and distractedly picks at the bun I handed her. 

“Kendra.” I make every effort to keep my voice soft. “Did anything happen?”

The question startles her, and I can see her visibly shake off whatever is on her mind before she turns to me with a smile. “I’m fine, I just really need a quick shower.”

And just like that, I’m distracted. I try to keep my breathing steady as I imagine Kendra, naked, a stream of water cascading down her body. The thought causes my body to react, and I step sideways behind the counter to hide the evidence.

“After,” I tell her. “First finish your breakfast. Then I’ll start loading up while you get ready. We’ll get you into your new place in no time.” And close by in Cedar Tree, within easy reach, but I don’t add that. I’ll keep those thoughts to myself for now.

“Sorry I wasn’t ready.” Her words are muffled by a mouthful of burrito. She looks at me with an apologetic smile on her face.

“Don’t worry, Pup, I’m in no rush.” I allow myself to lean in and kiss her forehead. She smells like sleep and Kendra. A scent I wouldn’t mind waking up to every fucking day.

“Pup?” she questions when I turn my attention back on my burrito.

“Breakfast is getting cold. Eat,” I tell her, hoping to distract her.

I’m thinking it’s probably not a good time to tell her a pup is what she reminds me of, with those sleep-swollen eyes and lines still creasing her face. Not a good idea.

K
endra

“Are you hungry?”

We’ve just finished unloading the bed and couch at my new place. A couple of beautiful baskets hanging on hooks off the porch welcomed us when we pulled into the driveway earlier. Beth had also left a nice welcome-home card on the kitchen counter with a friendly message and a bottle of champagne in the fridge. The rest of the fridge is empty, though, and the cooler with food I brought over won’t be enough. I’ll need to make a grocery run. Neil looks over my shoulder into the empty fridge.

“I don’t have much in the way of actual food. I should head back to pick up the last of the boxes and stop in at Safeway.” I try to duck underneath Neil’s arm which he has casually draped over my shoulder, but he moves right along with me. Both his hands end up on my shoulders and he slowly turns me around until the small of my back is wedged against the counter. His hands drop down to brace on either side of me and his face is mere inches from mine.

“I can wait,” he says in a low voice, keeping me trapped with his eyes.

“Neil, I...” I barely get the words out before his mouth is suddenly on mine. Soft, gentle, pulling my bottom lip between his. With a languid stroke of his tongue, he traces the contour of my lip before letting it slowly slide from his mouth.
Oh boy
. Somehow my hands have fisted in the front of his shirt, and time has ceased to exist.
I’m in trouble
. “We can’t...”

“Hush,” he says, leaning in for a soft brush against my mouth. “I’m going to hook up your Internet and put together your bed while you get your groceries. Take that time to wrap your head around what just happened here, because the way you just responded to that kiss tells me a much clearer story than the crap you’ve been feeding me for the past year. Not gonna let you push me away after that, Pup.”

I can barely think. The deep timbre of his voice and the way his nose rubs against my cheek as he talks has me mesmerized. That’s why, when he steps back, I almost lose my balance. My eyes fly to his face and I see he has a hard time not smiling.

“I tripped,” I lamely say. Naturally, now he chuckles.
I’m an idiot
.

“Of course you did,” he teases before touching the tip of his finger to my nose and walking out of the kitchen, leaving me wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do now.

Groceries, that’s what. I dig in the cupboard under the sink where I stuffed some grocery bags, grab my purse and head out the door. I’m about to get in the RAV when I hear Neil calling.

“Kendra, can you bring back some True Blonde Ale? Those yellow cans. I think Safeway carries it.” Neil is hanging out of the window of my bedroom toward the back of the house.

“Sure.” With one last look at his ear-to-ear grin, I slip behind the wheel. I’m in trouble, all right.

All the way back to my apartment, I practice what I will say when I get back. It’s not original. I’ve said all of it before and he’s made it clear he doesn’t consider those good enough reasons. Not anymore. Regardless, there’s no way I can start anything with him, however tempting he is. I know in my heart I don’t have it in me to recover if he breaks me. And I have no doubt he will. Before long, the hot fling with the older woman will lose its shine, and I’ll just be alone again.

Walking down the hall to my apartment, I’m so wrapped up in my thoughts, I don’t notice something leaning against the front door. Not until I pull out my keys and look down. A beautiful field bouquet, in yellow and purple. Wrapped in clear foil, I can see the edge of a card stuck between the tulips and heather. I pick up the bouquet, unlock the door, walk in and drop it on the counter.

I don’t like this. The card is printed on one side with the word
Sorry
, and I carefully peel back the wrap to pull it free. On the inside, written in tidy small letters is a note:

-

I
t was wonderful meeting you, and I hope you’ll forgive my enthusiasm.

I would like to see you again.

Lars, xox

-

I
mmediately, my eyes scan the hallway. That’s a little freaky. I don’t remember telling him where I live and I don’t think he could’ve followed me home last night. Closing the door, I notice my heart is beating a little fast. I toss the flowers on top of a box by the door and do one last walk through of the apartment. Confident I’ve got everything, I load the remaining boxes in my SUV and go back to pick up the last one. The flowers are still on the last box by the door and, on impulse, I tuck the little card in my purse, before dumping the bouquet in the garbage can in the lobby. The whole thing leaves me a little rattled and I have no intention of hanging on to them.

Luckily, Safeway is around the corner from my building, and I’m in and out of there within twenty minutes with my bags stuffed. I even remembered to pick up Neil’s beer. But I notice myself checking the rear-view mirror the entire drive back to Cedar Tree.

I find myself feeling relieved when I pull in behind Neil’s truck. I turn off the engine and rest my head on the steering wheel, letting go of the tension caused by last night’s fiasco and this morning’s flowers. Done with that. Done with blind dates. It’s not worth the stress.  A loud knock on the window right beside me has me jump clear across the console. Before I can even get my bearings, Neil yanks open the door and leans in.

“What happened, Kendra?” His brows are drawn together and his eyes express concern. “What happened?”

I close my eyes and lean my head back, blowing out a deep breath in relief. His hand comes up to stroke my cheek with the back of his fingers.

“You’re fucking shaking,” he mutters, grabbing my hand and pulling me from the car straight into his arms.

“Because you scared the crap out of me. I’m fine. Just a little jumpy.” I gently push back on his firm chest, trying not to get too comfortable in his arms. Reluctantly, he loosens his hold on me. “Really.” I plaster a reassuring smile on my face. “ Let’s just get this stuff inside.” Although still showing concern, Neil lets me step out of his arms.

Once the last of the boxes are inside, I start putting away the groceries, leaving the makings for sandwiches on the counter. It’s damn near two-thirty and I’m hungry as all get out.