HDU #2: Dirt (32 page)

“Casey is the
one who hurts people, Connor.
 
She
hurt me.
 
And Liam.
 
And Ian.”

“What about
Jake?” Connor challenged.
 
“What
did he do to you to deserve this? You using the most painful memory in his life
to get your first writing credit and a little bit of validation at work?”

Amanda swallowed
hard, without an answer.

“You do realize
what’s going to happen when Casey sees the season finale, right?”

Still, no words
had made themselves available to Amanda’s lips.
 
His stare steely on her, Connor continued.

“She’s going to
pull out all the stops.
 
Whatever
you’ve got now, Amanda, be prepared to lose it all in five weeks because
Casey’s going to take it and destroy it.
 
She’s fucked with entire lives for reasons much smaller than getting her
family’s dirty laundry aired out on national television.”

Amanda fought
the knot in her throat.
 
“What do
you want me to do, then? Not write the episode?”

Connor rolled
his eyes at her lack of comprehension.
 
“The episode’s going to be written with your idea, whether you or Fish
does it.
 
I’m not suggesting a
solution for you here, Amanda.
 
I’m
just telling you for the las time to go away, disappear or at the very least,
leave Liam.
 
Leave him the hell
alone.
 
Break up.
 
Because something tells me that
whatever shit you’ve gotten yourself into with Casey, he’s going to get dragged
into it somehow.
 
And with
Soldier
premiering in two weeks, now’s
kind of really not the time.”
 
Reaching into his back pocket, Connor retrieved his wallet, opening it
to pull out a twenty.
 
“You can
actually stop here,” he told the cabbie, handing the bill over before getting
out.

Chapter 20

LET’S
TALK ABOUT HOW LEGACY SUCKS ALL OF A SUDDEN

The Durt

September 21
^st

Oh my goodness, guys.
 
Either I dropped a ton of acid or
Legacy
turned into a completely different show within two weeks.
 
It is an
actual
shit show.
 
To the point
where ratings are dropping dramatically.
 
This past episode notched just under 1.5 million viewers, which is about
half of that of their season premiere.

So, what’s going on? How does something start sucking so abruptly?
Usually, shows will dip in quality by Season Two or Three but we’re talking
episodes
two and three here.
 
You
didn’t even give us a chance to get obsessed, Case! And we wanted to considering
how fantastic the pilot was.
 
Audiences were treated to snappy, witty dialogue, shocking but natural
plot developments and a fresh, effortlessly edgy vibe that had us quickly
starved for more.

By episode two, the story plateaued as writer/director Casey seemed to
favor pointless scenes of hardcore drug use rather than moving the actual plot
along.
 
Also, the dialogue was
suddenly comprised of 60% F bombs and 40% of try-hard banter.

By episode three, strange new characters we had no interest in were
being introduced and Mulreed seemed to have no idea what to do with the plot
lines from the premiere that were actually interesting, taking them into flat directions
that always ended in party scenes with cliched shock factors, like doing coke
off of someone’s wang.
 
Sewww edgy.

It’s fine, I’m not that disappointed.
 
Why, you ask? Well, I may have been playing double agent and
keeping track of
Leadoff
simultaneously and whattayaknow,
the “old person” show is actually really damned good and not just because
breakout star Kyle Laurie is gorgeous or because Zoe Mercury’s body is out of
this world.
 
It’s just a heck of a
solid show.
 
And thank God.

Because
Legacy
, girl, you’re about to get
canceled.

For the very
first time since starting at
Leadoff
,
the writers room was beginning to feel something like Amanda’s haven.
 
Like the rest of the guys lately, she
hardly left it.
 
She ate two to
three meals a day within its walls, drank up to four intern-delivered coffees
and rolled her eyes at Skip’s bad jokes or Fish bad bets on a pitching
match-ups.
 
She wasn’t quite one of
them yet but at least she was getting there.

And at least
Connor had stopped showing up to work as much — Tom had said something or
another about how he’d only been around to consult and offer ideas here and
there.
 
So it was perfect.
 
Amanda didn’t have to face him, she
didn’t have to run into Jake at Starbucks and Casey probably couldn’t watch her
if she was within the safety of the Waltman Global building.

Also she had an
excuse to avoid Liam.
 
Not that she
actually wanted to.

She just
couldn’t quite bear to speak to him let alone see him.
 
With the beats of the script coming
together for
Leadoff’s
season finale,
Amanda was beginning to see how truly identical the story was to that one
incident from Casey and Jake’s actual childhoods, down to the hiking trip gone
wrong and the fact that leaving home hadn’t quite been voluntary.
 
In a few weeks, a reenactment of
Casey’s past would be airing on television, and to an audience probably larger
than that of the season premiere considering the show’s climbing ratings over
the past few weeks.

So basically,
Amanda was screwed.

And if she was
screwed, so apparently was Liam.
 
Which was precisely why she had to stay away from him — which
wasn’t extremely hard considering how much time he’d spent in L.A in the last
week to promote the film.

But when he
returned, Amanda knew she’d have to prepare an excuse to avoid him.
 
She couldn’t quite explain her logic to
herself or figure out how long her plan would have to last, but in the back of
her head, she figured that if Casey truly had eyes everywhere, seeing a sudden
lack of regard for Liam might save him from being targeted after the premiere
of
Leadoff’s
season finale in two
weeks.

I should just pretend to love Fish or Skip
or Connor.
 
Then Casey will go
after them and I won’t care one bit
, Amanda had thought to herself with
amusement one day before deciding to actually have Wendy spin a story about her
possible new romance with Fish or Bird, which was ultimately picked up by Celeb-o-Matic.
 
They were the youngest
Leadoff
writers and there existed enough
pictures of them for the story to be believable to people — and hopefully
Casey.

“Alright,
guys.
 
Let’s go pretend to be
normal human beings for a little,” Tom said as always to announce their break.

As had become
custom for her lately, Amanda headed for the elevator so she could take it down
to the thirty-fourth floor.
 
The
cafeteria was on the third floor of the building and she was definitely in need
of an actual sandwich but Amanda didn’t quite dare to venture there.
 
There were too many people and she was
fairly certain she’d run into Jake, whose text messages she had been ignoring
since their long conversation in Chinatown.

And so it was
the thirty-fourth floor Amanda ventured — a mostly vacant floor with a
moving tenant and a single, amazing vending machine.
 
It was perfect.

Amanda bounced
on her toes as she waited for the elevator, anticipating her usual post-dinner
snack of flavored almonds and M&Ms that she usually shared with Bird, since
he was the only one of the writers who was openly nice to her, attempting to
include her on plans or their Thursday night happy hours.

Maybe I’ll get us some Skittles tonight too.

The thought of
her vending machine food actually made her stomach kind of flutter with
excitement lately, which she noted was pretty sad.
 
But simple things were what she had to take pleasure in now that
she was forcing herself away from Liam, forcing herself to give short excuses
in her text messages for missing his calls.
 
The premiere of
A
Soldier
was in just days so she couldn’t take a chance.
 
She couldn’t go to the event anyway so
she figured she might as well not risk some rendezvous that could be caught by
Casey or perhaps Terrence, considering he’d essentially been holding Liam
hostage for pre-premiere press junkets and publicity.

More sad than
the vending machine giddiness was the fact that Amanda now got her fix of Liam
through the TV.
 
Thanks to
Terrence’s Oscar-hungry publicity campaign, he was on pretty much every
entertainment news program and even some nightly news programs.
 
It was torturous to watch his smile
through a screen but it was better than nothing.
 
For the most part.
 
Sleeping alone had become suddenly that much harder lately after a night
of watching Liam on Access Hollywood.
 
But Amanda could never bring herself to change the channel.

Ding
.

Stirring her
from her thoughts was the arrival of the elevator.
 
Snapping her completely out of them was the blue-shirted kid
who stood inside when the doors open.

“Amanda?”

Shit
.
 
“Hey.
 
Jake.”
 
The fact that she
tried to fake delight only made Amanda’s tone sound stranger as she greeted
him.
 
Her eyes darted around to
check for witnesses, any unfamiliar faces who might’ve gained access to Waltman
Global in order to spy for Casey.
 
Fortunately, there were only Vogel’s writers around at the late
hour.
 
Her hesitance the slightest
bit relieved, Amanda stepped stiffly into the elevator.
 
Watching her, Jake’s face immediately
crumpled with apology and embarrassment.

“Sorry you’re so
weirded out by me,” he said.

“Oh geez,
dude.”
 
Amanda’s shoulders
immediately slumped and she heaved a guilty sigh, pressing the button to the
thirty-fourth floor.
 
“Jake, I am
not weirded out by you,” she insisted, looking at him genuinely.
 
“Really.”

“It’s okay, I
think I weird people out a lot.”

“I doubt
it.
 
You’re probably imagining
it.
 
I do that too sometimes.”

“Well.
 
I don’t think you’ve chased as many
people away as I have.”

Amanda made a
strange face as the doors closed.
 
“Maybe you just… text a little too much,” she offered lightly with a
strained smile.
 
Jake grimaced at
himself.

“I’m sorry.
 
I didn’t mean to text like crazy… I
just really wanted to know why you decided to tell Casey I was here.
 
And I kind of wanted to talk to you
before I went back to Missouri.”

Amanda blinked
at him as she pressed the button to the thirty-fourth floor.
 
“You’re going back to Columbia?”

Jake shrugged.
 
“Casey’s making me leave.
 
She talked to my mom and they’re
booking me a flight back.”
 
He
tried to hide the hurt in both his expression and tone.
 
“She said now’s not the time for me to
be here ‘cause she has a lot going on and I’m going to distract her if I’m
here.
 
Which is legit, actually,
and I should’ve known.
 
My
fault.”
 
He shook his head at
himself.
 
“I’m too eager.
 
It’s probably for the better that I run
people away.
 
Once I start talking
I just talk too much.”

“Psh.
 
No,” was all Amanda could think of to
offer.
 
Pausing in the silence, she
eyed the sheepish, downcast look on Jake’s face that always made an appearance
when he mentioned his lack of friends.
 
“So,” she cleared her throat, her mind once again racing to think of a
change of subject.
 
“Ever been to
the thirty-forth floor?”

Jake looked up,
appearing grateful for a new topic of conversation.
 
He managed a small smile.
 
“What’s on the thirty-fourth floor?” he asked curiously.

“Oh,
nothing.”
 
Amanda laughed, mostly
at herself.
 
“Just a secret vending
machine that might be the best one in this building.
 
Maybe in all of Midtown.”
 
She looked up to see Jake’s tension melting at the mention
of food.

“Really? I
should check it out one day,” he said with real enthusiasm.
 
Amanda gave him an odd look.

“Well, what are
you doing now?”

“Going back to
my apartment to pack.
 
I’m leaving
in two days.”

“Then you have
time to check it out now, can’t you?”

Jake looked up
at her with a hint of confusion.
 
“Oh.
 
I was just… gonna give
you your space ‘cause… you’re trying to avoid me.
 
I thought.”

Amanda winced
with guilt.
 
“No, no.”
 
The lie came out instinctively.
 
She waved her hand in the air, nodding
out the elevator doors once they opened at the thirty-fourth floor.
 
“Come on.
 
I have half an hour and a ton of quarters.
 
Let’s have a feast.”

~

More furniture
had apparently been taken off of the thirty-fourth floor since the prior night,
leaving just the vending machine and a single chair, the seat of which Amanda
and Jake arranged with an array of Famous Amos cookies, Skittles, M&Ms and
mini towers of Starburst.

“I’m sorry I
didn’t answer any of your texts,” Amanda said, her voice echoing on the empty
floor as she watched Jake build a colorful paper chain from the Starburst
wrappers.
 
“We’ve just been so busy
at
Leadoff
.
 
Figuring out the season finale.
 
And I was probably so swamped that I just slipped to Casey
that you were here.
 
That kind of
thing.”

Unwrapping
another piece of candy, Jake looked up at her, seeming to know well that she
wasn’t telling the truth.
 
“That’s
okay,” he still said genuinely.
 
Amanda tried not to make a face as her heart wrenched.
 
He seemed entirely too accepting of
things like lies and avoidance, as if they were just everyday things to accept
in life.

“You said you
had some questions though?” Amanda asked gently.
 
She had already gone against Casey’s orders to stay away
from her brother.
 
She figured they
might as well talk.
 
There was no
way anyone was watching, anyway, unless it was through telescopes in the
neighboring high-rises.
 
Amanda
knew she probably shouldn’t put something that ridiculous past Casey but at the
same time, she sensed they were safe on the thirty-fourth floor.

“Oh.
 
Yeah.
 
Just some… stupid questions.
 
No biggie.”
 
He
looked up from his color coded Skittles to catch Amanda’s odd look.
 
“Sorry I’m being weird.”

Amanda let out
an exaggerated groan.
 
“Stop.”
 
She flicked a yellow M&M at him,
cracking a smile when he looked up with surprise.
 
“Seriously, stop dismissing everything you do or say as
‘weird.’
 
It’s not.
 
Whoever called you ‘weird’ growing up
was the weird one,” she added, assuming that someone had put the word in his
head at some point.

“Well...” Jake
furrowed his brow.
 
“If I’m not
weird, why do people always run from me?”

“Who runs from
you?”

“My sister.
 
My only girlfriend.
 
You.
 
And you’re just someone I met like, twice.
 
It only took you two times to know that
I was a weirdo.”

Amanda held
another M&M in the air.
 
“Don’t
make me throw this.”

“Fine, not
weird.
 
But like…
something
.”

Amanda popped
the piece of chocolate in her mouth, chewing.
 
“Well, I can tell you
I
wasn’t talking to you because of work and according to your stories, Casey left
because of your mom, not you.
 
So
why don’t you tell me about this girlfriend of yours and I’ll tell you what you
probably misinterpreted about her breaking up with or whatever it was that
happened.”

Jake raised his
eyebrows.
 
“Okay.”
 
He paused, his lips turning up
sheepishly.
 
“I’ve never really
talked about her with anyone but my mom.”

“What was her
name?”

“Angel,” he
replied before giving a laugh.
 
“My
mom called her my angel because I couldn’t really make friends in school ‘cause
the kids made fun of my leg thing all the time.
 
But she came up to me randomly one day in third grade and
decided to be my best friend, I guess, since I had no one else.
 
And then it was just me and her from
that day on.”