HDU #2: Dirt (15 page)

Upstairs, Amanda
could hear Liam still on the phone with either Terrence or his publicist
— he had been going back and forth between their calls since their car
ride from the stadium.
 
During that
time, Amanda’s shaking hands had done their best to text Wendy since she was in
entirely too much shock to speak anymore.
 
She had used up all her words to give Liam a brief summary of how the
hell this had even happened and his wordless disappointment had taken whatever
wind was left in her completely out.
 
And so she texted.

wendy i am so sorry. i know this is bad and
it looks crazy but i can explain. it isn’t fake not anymore at least. i am so
so sorry

It wasn’t the
most convincing or eloquent of her writing samples, but it at least managed to
garner a response from Wendy that seemed far less hysterical than those of
Terrence and Liam’s own publicist.

I walked in on you two on the night of your
birthday.
 
I know it’s not fake.
 
Things are bad but keep calm.
 
I will handle this and I will handle
Tom.

Tom.
 
Shit
.
 
Staring out the window onto Mercer
Street, at the sidewalk full of people who would soon know all about her
contract with Liam if they already didn’t, Amanda swallowed.
 
She had been so concerned with Liam’s
job safety with Terrence that she hadn’t thought about her own with Tom.

Quiet, still
listening to Liam’s rising voice on the phone, Amanda felt her own lividness
gradually building to a peak.

Before she knew
it, her feet were on the sidewalk.
 
She could barely remember stepping out of Liam’s kitchen let alone his
apartment but that was hardly a surprise considering the way her body continued
to move without her consent.
 
Before Amanda could pull her hand from the air, a cab had stopped in
front of her and before she could stop her mouth from opening, her lips uttered
Casey’s Lafayette Street home address.

She’ll be home
.
 
Somehow, Amanda was sure of it.
 
She had had enough experience with
Casey to know that she anticipated everything before it happened and she was
far too much of a sadist to miss Amanda’s in-person reaction by being
unavailable at her apartment.
 
It
was the only place Amanda knew to go.

“Hello, Miss
Nathan — I’ll let Miss Mulreed know you’re on your way.”

Amanda tried not
to scowl at the dutiful doorman in the lobby of Casey’s loft apartment.
 
After all, his big smile could very
well be professional and have nothing to do with the news about her
relationship.
 
He might not even
know yet — the article had been published on Pop Dinner less than an hour
ago.
 
Amanda took the smallest
comfort in the fact that the entire world had yet to know.
 
But only the very smallest bit since
soon, everyone would know, whether they cared about celebrity news or not.
 
It was just how things were.

As she stepped
into the elevator and turned to press the button on Casey’s floor, Amanda felt
her jaw tighten, catching the bright, red Pop Dinner logo on the doorman’s
iPhone screen just before the doors closed.

As the floor
numbers moved up toward Casey’s penthouse, Amanda felt her quiet fury rising
from the knot at the bottom of her throat, all her bottled anger prepared to
unleash the second the doors opened into the stark white apartment.

But once again,
Casey managed to anticipate Amanda.
 
Once the elevator doors parted, Amanda felt herself freeze, too startled
by the fact that Casey stood right before them, smiling and ready for her in a
white tea dress with a yellow flower in her hair.

“I’ve been
expecting you,” she said, giggling at her own line.

Amanda stared,
frozen in the elevator as Casey’s stood in front of the door, managing to box
her in with her petite frame.

“So rude of
me.
 
Come in,” Casey said once she
was finished reducing Amanda back to speechless anger.
 
She spun on the heel of her bare foot,
turning and practically skipping into her apartment.
 
“Tea? Coffee?”

“You were going
to leak the story anyway.”

Casey turned
around, cocking her head with a smile.
 
“Why are you telling me this like I don’t know it?”

Amanda
glared.
 
“Why did you have me say
anything for you to Fleur Magazine if you were going to leak the story anyway?”

Casey plopped
down on a white leather chaise, patting the seat next to her for probably her
entertainment only since Amanda stood frozen and rigid between the elevator and
sitting room.

“Just wanted to
remind the world of our roles,” Casey answered with a dainty shrug, gazing down
at her lap as she smoothed her A-line skirt.
 
“I mean let’s be honest, doll, I
am
the reason you have your silly job at
Leadoff
right now.
 
I
introduced you to Wendy — at a party that you couldn’t buy your way into
if you weren’t so-called dating Liam.
 
Basically, the only person who’s more of a nobody than you is your crackhead
friend, Ian, so I really don’t think it’s appropriate for anyone to be drawing
comparisons between the two of us.
 
Don’t you agree?”

Amanda blinked
hard, shaking her head in disbelief.
 
“You did all this because you were mad that one or two random entertainment
bloggers compared me to you? Are you kidding me?”

“No, I had you
remind Fleur that you were a little nobody because of the comparisons.
 
I leaked your contract to Pop Dinner
because your quote about rehab got…” she blew her cheeks up with air, “
Way
more attention that it should have
for someone who’s a little nobody.
 
It’s like the world is forgetting that you’re not an actual
celebrity.
 
Like, your word should
mean literally nothing — all you’re known for is being a Hollywood
girlfriend who wears like, a size eight in jeans,” Casey laughed, shaking her
head.
 
“And yet you get mentioned
in the same breath as someone who’s spent half of her life in this
industry.
 
Doesn’t it seem kind of
ridiculous?” she asked Amanda, batting her lashes.

“Only as
ridiculous as the fact that you’re letting it get to you,” Amanda replied
through gritted teeth.
 
“You have
your acting credits, your Oscar nomination.
 
Your last name.
 
Nothing I do should intimidate you.”

Casey burst out
laughing, covering her mouth with both hands.
 
“Holy shit, doll, you do not intimidate me.”

“Then what are
you doing?” Amanda demanded, taking an angry step toward the white leather
chaise.
 
Casey raised her eyebrows,
delighted.
 
“Why are you
still
bothering me? I shouldn’t be any
of your business anymore.
 
You
already have your show and your buzz thanks to what you did to Ian.
 
We’re both keeping our mouths shut
about it because he’s been through enough so what the hell do you want from
either of us anymore?”

Casey made a
silly face, as if Amanda’s question were completely laughable.
 
“I was just trying to close the circle
here, duh.”
 
When Amanda narrowed
her eyes, she clarified.
 
“You can
say it’s Liam all you want but
I
was
the one who made you famous.
 
And I
had my reasons but now that I don’t need you or Ian anymore, it’s time to close
the circle and…” She pushed her tiny lower lip out and shrugged.
 
“…make you
not
famous,” she said, giggling at her ineloquent wording before
throwing her hands up with whimsy.
 
“Already did that with the crackhead.
 
Now I’m just waiting it out till you’re just as
irrelevant.
 
Can’t have you saying
anything else that gets even the tiniest bit of attention!” Casey said with a
silly pout on her lips, as if she were talking to a baby.
 
Her laugh winding down into a sigh, she
then clicked her phone on to look at the screen, giving a shrug.
 
“I anticipate it’ll take a week.
 
Basically a few days after you’re fired
from
Leadoff
.”
 

“Well, now that
you’ve outed me and I’ve got nothing to lose, what’s to stop me from saying
everything?” Amanda challenged, feeling her face grow hot.
 
“Whether or not people believe me, I’ll
drag the name of your show through embarrassing headlines for as long as I can
and judging from the amount of attention you’ve given me today, that could be
awhile.”

Casey
smirked.
 
“Go ahead.
 
I just have a feeling you’re not going
to do that.”

“Oh really.
 
Why?”

“Because whether
or not you two are fake, I know the type of person you are.
 
You’re a
nice
girl,” Casey said with a mocking out.
 
“You’re the type to feel bad about
prolonging Liam’s embarrassment over this whole situation.
 
I mean considering he has a legitimate
career to lose whereas you…” Casey squinted, as if taking her time in order to
word herself eloquently.
 
“You were
always a joke.”
 
She giggled.
 
“I mean look at you, doll.
 
You’re so funny.
 
You always think you have something to
say to me but it always turns out you’ve got nothing.”
 
Rising from the leather chaise, Casey
stretched her petite arms, letting go of a sigh.
 
“Anyway, cutie pie.
 
I need to get to the office,” she said casually, as if it were any other
conversation — at least until she looked up at Amanda, her icy eyes sharp
and her lips twisted into a smirk.
 
“Which means get the fuck out, silly.”

~

When she
returned to Liam’s apartment, Amanda stepped out from the elevator to see him
hunched over on the leather sectional in the sitting room.
 
The second he caught sight of her, he
rose to his feet with an urgency that contradicted his tone.

“Where were
you?”

“Sorry.”

“I’m not asking
you to apologize, I just want to know where you were,” Liam said, his tone
surprisingly even as he slipped his hands into his pockets as he watched her
walk slowly to him.
 
She peered at
him.
 
He stood straight, tall but
there was a tenseness in his jaw and his shoulders slightly slumped.
 
He was trying to hide his anger and
total disappointment but she could still detect a few signs and it made her
heart wrench.

“I mean I’m
sorry for all of this,” Amanda clarified.
 
“For ever giving you this idea to bring me here.
 
For trying to be friends with
Casey
.”
 
She spoke her name with utter revulsion.
 
Liam shook his head, as if her
inflection said it all.

“You went to see
her.”

“Yes.”

“Do me a favor
from now on, Amanda,” Liam said promptly, his tone making her eyes fly
anxiously up from the ground.
 
“Stop with Casey.
 
Everything.”

“What?”

Liam ran his
hand over the top of his head before letting it fall hard and angrily to his
side.
 
“Listen, if Casey were a guy
things would be different right now.”

“What do you
mean?”

“I’d have put
her in the hospital, Amanda, but she’s not so I’m going to deal with my own
shit and leave her alone,” Liam replied, his cheeks flexing.
 
“Which means you should too.
 
The more you provoke her, the more she’ll
screw with you and trust me, she has all the resources to do that
thoroughly.
 
It may be hard for you
to believe, but this isn’t her at her craziest so do me a favor from now on,
Amanda, and don’t get involved in anything more that has to do with Casey.
 
Trust
me this time.”

This time
.
 
Amanda swallowed with guilt.

“Promise you’ll
leave it alone, Amanda.”

But it doesn’t make sense to
.
 
Casey had just ruined everything.
 
She had first gotten Ian and now she’d
gotten Amanda and Liam.
 
It didn’t
make sense to promise to leave her alone, at peace.

But it was the
least Amanda owed Liam considering how much the first chance she’d given Casey
had royally screwed them.
 
Knowing
she’d regret the words, she nodded, avoiding his eye for only so long as he
tipped her chin up to look at him.

“I promise,” she
said.

Chapter 8

WHAT ELSE ARE THESE TWO BITCHES
LYING ABOUT?

And other speculations about the integrity of Liamanda
and the Hollywood folks they work with

Pop Rock Gossip

July 17th

Posted by Bitty

As you can see, this is a
guest post because my poor friend and your usual columnist, Jessie O., is still
rattled to the core and devouring entire boxes of Birthday Cake Oreos as she
recovers from the discovery that her entire life has been a lie.
 
And by her entire life I mean the past
five months or however long it’s been since January, when the world was
introduced to the false glory of Liamanda.

Shame on us.
 
We were all so dazzled by the fact that
a gorgeous, serial model-dater could fall for a Plain Jane non-celeb that we
didn’t realize a gorgeous, serial model-dater would never fall for a Plain Jane
non-celeb.
 
Honestly, what in the
ever-loving f*ck were we thinking? Don’t we know this industry well enough by now?
Apparently not.
 
And because we
obviously need one, let me rattle off some prospective slogans so we never
forget that we can’t trust a single bitch in this town ever again:

*
HOLLYWOOD
: YEP.
 
TOTALLY SCRIPTED

*
HOLLYWOOD
: I DID IT FOR THE PUBLICITY

*
HOLLYWOOD
: WE ARE ALL A BUNCH OF SOULLESS LIARS

Which one do you like best?
I’m partial to number three.

Anyway, now that it’s been
twelve hours since the Liamanda sham was revealed and most of us have gotten
past the initial stages of shock and carb-bingeing, let us play a little game
of True or False regarding some other things that we were led to believe aside
from the whole “Liam totally bumps nasties with Amanda” thing.

1
.
T or F
: Amanda Nathan is your everyday sweetheart from a little
town in Missouri and she had no idea what the f*ck she was doing when she got
here, none at all.

False
.
 
Come on, y’all.
 
Not only did this girl basically
blackmail Liam Brody into casting her as his fake-ass girlfriend, she also laid
down a whole damned contract full of terms for their fake-ass
relationship.
 
The bitch is cold.
 
And calculated.
 
And kind of bad to the bone if you want
my honest opinion here, but let’s face it: she tricked the shit out of us and
she didn’t even feel guilty doing it.
 
“Oh,
I’m so innocent and new to New York! Ohh, I have no idea how to dress and I’m
super duper shy! Ohhh, I am so not a premeditated bitch with a genius plan all
along!”
People.
 
In less than half a year, this girl came to New York, got
the world to love her for being a total noob, befriended big names like Casey
Mulreed and Wendy Krentz, landed a job at June Magazine, broke up with Liam
Brody for Dylan Hardy, landed a job at ZINC for new show
Leadoff
and got back together with Liam Brody.
 
That is all basically impossible to
accomplish in such a short amount of time unless your lying ass knew exactly
what it was doing the entire time.

2. T or F
: Liam Brody
is a reformed womanizer who has the mental and physical strength of a Navy SEAL
and Pararescue jumper combined.

False
.
 
These are things that Liam Brody and
Terrence Rambis want you to believe but know that they fall under the
respective and oft-used Hollywood categories of “Lies I Told to Land a Movie
Role” and “Lies I Told So They’d Give Me an Oscar.”
 
Again, people.
 
Liam Brody’s penis is as famous as he is and about ten thousand times needier
than the average dude’s.
 
If he
wasn’t actually dating Amanda Nathan, then he wasn’t actually sleeping with her
and if he wasn’t actually sleeping with her, there are probably around twenty
swimsuit models between Amman, Jordan and Manhattan who have pocketed some fat
paychecks for keeping their nasty-bumping with Liam a total secret throughout
his five-month fauxmance.
 
Also,
regarding Terrence Rambis’s claims that
A Soldier
was
insanely authentic in its making and that he trained Liam alongside actual SEALs
and PJs so he would possess the actual same skill? Buncha unpatriotic
lies.
 
Really though, are you
really shocked? The whole concept of “Liamanda” started so Liam could land the
part of John Camden in
A Soldier
.
 
The mere foundation of this film is
based on lies! So no, A Soldier isn’t the intense, raw, backbreaking, method-acting,
shockingly real biopic that Rambis wants you to think it is so he’ll sweep the
Oscars in February.
 
It’s just
another regular-ass war movie with body doubles, publicity stunts and probably
a lot of scenes with inaccuracies that would make the Air Force cringe for days.

So basically, kiddos, the
lesson here?

Amanda Nathan is a liar,
Liam Brody is a liar, Terrence Rambis is most likely a liar and Hollywood is as
full of shit as it’s always been — we just need to stop forgetting the
fact every time there’s a story that’s feel-good enough to remind us that once
upon a time, we were compassionate people who wished the best for others and
not total bloodthirsty sadists who stalked Pop Dinner for embarrassing videos
of drunk and/or heartbroken celebs.

Which, I’ll be honest, is
exactly what I’m doing right now because the Liamanda Sham is entirely too good
not to eat up till its gone.
 
Sorry
not sorry.