Haze of Dusk (A trilogy) (12 page)

“How
did you…find out about me?” His stiff stare makes me nervous.

“It doesn’t take a genius to recognize you are extremely feminine.
Besides, the body doesn’t suit your personality. You are awfully intellectual for your age, but what really gave you away were the movements of your hands when changing the room. The gestures you use are what healers learn, not sorcerers. Lastly, I remember you telling me your brother was a magician, and you are the sorcerer. Things simply add up, and for a person who once met you— easy identification.” I exhale harshly.

“Tell me, who else knows about you? In order for you to get in
side Doomsvell there must be other people around your circle.” I bite my bottom lip. “Don’t do that!” he snaps startling me. I panic, jumping from my spot. “Do what?” I question frighten by his tone. “Your lips, you bite it. Boys don’t do that… that also threw you off. Take my advice, if you want this to continue, learn how to act like a man, and that lip thing…stop doing it,” he hisses, giving me tips. This is unusual. And why is he so bothered by my lips? 

“Very well…thanks for the advice. By the way, rule numbe
r-one in this secret of ours; stop sticking your nose where it does not belong.” I insist in telling him nothing about who are the people in my circle.

Being with the
fellows to me is like being with family. With so many days spending time together, life becomes expectant. I have to admit Ramuso is definitely my closest friend. I don’t know if it’s because he’s my brother’s age, or because he’s sociable, but he constantly sticks with me. Alright, he gets me into trouble maybe every single day, but I no longer mind his trouble-making behavior. As for Osys, most of the time we drag him with us to our square of troubles, but the good yolk would cry his life out because of the terror of getting into danger, his fear of everything makes me wonder, how the bloody hell has he survive the warfare all these years?

Onnet is the grumbler
of the group, and the one who’s bothered by everything. At first, he was annoyed by my appearance, and scolded me a few times for leaving my clothing around, for he’s a neat freak, but as I helped him organized the room we conversed girly stuff, and soon he began teaching me how to knit. His obsession over knitting is not weird at all, as it’s something he observed his mother do when she was alive. A giant killed her, since then, he hasn’t stopped knitting—the eye coloring… still so weird.

My relationship with Ikumus it’
s wholly impossible to achieve. The man still doesn’t have a relationship with the others, except for Corr, so, the new kid can never be included. Especially now that Ramuso played a prank on him including me—of course, after finding worms on his bed Ikumus followed us until the end of the castle. We didn’t go back to our room that night. We slept outside on the castle’s horse farm. I heard from Corr the reason why Ikumus is so dry is because he has lost everyone he cares for, so he tries not to attach himself with others. That way, he won’t lose a loved one. I guess that’s his way of protecting his feelings from ever getting hurt.

Corr and I have a good relationship. He’s more like my guardian, always there, watching over me. He says I remind him of
his little brother, well, Jorsay does. Last night as I sat on the balcony watching the stars, he approached me, and joined my isolation. He confessed the brother I reminded him of was killed in war three years ago. I wanted to embrace him, show him I cared for his hurting, but when I placed my hand on top of his, he stared at me creep-out. I think he thinks I’m a bit odd…

“You should sto
p hanging out with this menace. I see you falling in his same path.” Onnet says to me as we walk down the stairs. I’m so hungry I can eat the entire mealroom. Ramuso chuckles and puts an arm around me. “Too late!” I’m sure he says it because of our secret of poisoning everyone. How the hell did Khysso figure it out anyways? I was so careful.

The
fellows stop moving the moment we reach downstairs. Suddenly, an awkward energy encircles us. Khysso stands in front of us, with him a beautiful girl. I don’t see the big deal, but my roommates stand in a severe silence that concerns me.

“Casandree, you’re back,” it’s Corr the one to become pale. I frown, trying to figure out the mystery. The girl name Casandree partially smiles. She is a true diamond. Her ash-blond hair is capture in a side braid that touches her thighs. Her eyes are round and blue, her lips naturally pink. By the point of her ear and her beauty, I can tell she is half elf.  She dresses in a long light-blue hip skirt with sheers, and a pearl crop chemise that shows a bit of her flat stomach. She partly nods. Khysso
’s eyes move to me. He scoffs, somewhat ridiculing me, and my ambience. Perhaps he mocks my truth; I’m still shaken by our earlier conversation. He walks away and sweepingly she follows. Corr is fuming. He punches a wall near us striking us. In a dramatic rage, he rushes back upstairs. I call his name, and I’m about to head his way, but Ramuso takes my arm and shakes his head disagreeing with my idea.

“There goes his patience.” Ikumus murmurs, and continues to the mealroom. I frown, unaware of the circumstances. Seeing I’m lost, Ramuso waits for the others to go upfront to tell the gossip. “That girl is Casandree, the woman Corr loves,” my heart sinks down a hole of emptiness. Now I too want to hit the wall and run off in a rage-burst. My chest tightens my heart. The bitter taste in my mouth is random and repelling. I want to take it tough. I don’t want to demonstrate how my legs wobble and my body aches to hear the man that has touched my feminine side belongs to somebody else. Away from the others Ramuso starts from the beginning. He explains how Corr and Casandree grew up in a small-town called Everleaf, a town where most of the natives are elves and are married to humans. It's a lovely town, filled with trees that are green, and a fascinating grass anyone can sleep on. Their town is maintained by magic, and their only concern is the earth.  However, to the collectors that didn't matter, and as every other town, people were collected and taken to the war castle. At that time, Casandree and Corr were seventeen, and they were dating, planning to marry. Once they arrived in the castle… everything changed.

For the first years, their relationship and love remained the same. But
suddenly, Casandree pushed herself away, telling Corr he had changed since his brother’s death. She stated he was angrier, and had become addicted to war—careless for the people around him. She alleged he was selfish, and couldn’t be with him, but soon Corr found out the truth, the real reason for her rejection, something that altered his emotions. Casandree fell in love with Khysso Shorewen. And because of Khysso, she joined the lecturing profession, for an instructor and an apprentice could never relate unless professionally. Being one of the most powerful healers, and very intellectual, the leaders allowed for her to be a substitute for sorcery and healing. The puzzle has come together, and I comprehend why Corr hates breaking rules. Why he’s so obsess with regulations. It’s so he can get the woman he loves back, by him becoming an instructor. “So Khysso and Casandree are a couple?” for some unexplainable reason, it bothers me to think it. I thought he was sire isolation; nobody deserves him because he’s just too damn perfect, but then again, that girl is beautiful. Any man can easily fall for her. “Prick likes no one. That girl is a moron. She kisses his arse, but he neglects her. If they are a couple, hah…I highly doubt it.” I can’t believe Ikumus too calls him
prick
. Hell… isn’t there a man in this world that likes him. We sit on our spot, although I was hungry, it vanished the moment I heard of Corr’s love affair.

I try to see things positive, if Casandree and Khysso are a couple, then Corr is free to love another person. Who are you kidding Judyala?  You don’t have a chance with Corr,
or anyone in this damn castle. You’re in a boy’s body
.
“Jorsay…Jorsay,” I hear a distant voice, but I ignore it. My mind is set on that beautiful girl who is loved by Corr. A shade covers my light, from the corner of my eye, I see someone standing. I tilt my head to confront my nuisance. I scowl to see Azania is the one who seeks me. Great, not the weird girl, that girl acts so strange with me; it freaks me out.

“Hi,
Azania,” I feel uncomfortable by her shyness. She presses her lips together.

“Umm…would you lik
e to sit in my table?” she asks. For some strange reason, her cheeks are on fire.
She must be hot
.
Weather seems fine inside the castle
. I grimace. Ramuso and Osys tittering worries me. “No thanks. I'm good here,”
why invite me to her table
? Onnet’s elbow meets my ribcage. I gasp for air. “What!” I hiss, but he smacks his forehead, as the others again laugh. I just don’t get it. Is he trying to tell me something?

“Oh-no,” she bows down her head. I can see shame in her. “He’ll go, go buddy!” Ramuso insists. I frown,
damn you Ramuso.
“Please… I have spare food,” enough is said, to hear spare food I run to her table. I forget all my concerns the moment she hands me a tray full with black bean soup, cheese and slice potatoes, so much better than the unflavored crap they give us. But as I eat in the table for two, I can’t help but notice Azania’s eyes don’t move from me.

“This is very good.
” I say eating my soup. She looks down, and awkwardly nods, even though she hasn’t touched her food.
Why the heck is she agreeing?

“Jorsay,
have you ever been to the swan garden?” I scowl,
what the hell is that
. I shake my head. “Neither have I... I heard there are thousands of swans, and they fly in a strange pattern. It’s here, in the castle’s meadow…wouldn’t you like to go… with me…see it,” she mumbles. I smile, and rush a nod. I’ve never seen swans, so why not. Thus, I promise to join her later today for dinner time.

It breaks my heart to see
Corr isn’t well. He lies silently on his bed, not saying a word. We all know better not to talk to him when his temper is intense. I can’t believe he reacts in such a way because of that girl. He really must love her. His feelings are rather fresh. It has been fifteen days since he hasn’t seen her, for she was sent to the west-castle for temporary lecturing. In those days, Corr was a happy man. Ramuso said he’d sometimes worried for her, but he was never broken, not like now. It’s the fact he believes Khysso and Casandree share a relationship that gets him mad.

“So
, how was your date with that girl? She’s cute. You two look good together.” Ramuso says. I scowl. Why is he saying idiocy? “Look good together…” I repeat and groan.
“Are you indicating we have something going on because we don’t.” I assure with attitude, folding my sheets and organizing the room, something only Onnet and I do. The others just arrived from doing who-knows-what, now they sit on their beds doing nothing. I was studying when they came from their hang out. I stood in the room with Corr, still, in those few hours, he never said a word to me. Ramuso makes more mess with his blocks. I pick it up, and angrily throw it back at him.

“Then, why did you say yes to her, on going to swan garden?” Osys asks impatiently. I sneer. “It’s
only
a garden. What’s the big deal?” They crack up in laughter, including angry Corr, his smile eases my sunken heart. “You dumb kid. Everybody in this castle knows swan garden is a decent name for the
kissing
garden,” my relax expression immediately changes, and I stop what I’m doing—
holy crap,
kissing garden
. Azania sees me that way…no way! I can’t let her kiss me. I have to break the date, fast.

Twilight set
s. The hour of the date arrives and I plan not going. I stay in my room wasting time when Ramuso, Onnet and Osys snatch my arms and force me to the garden. I struggle and strive. I beg them to stop, but they don’t care and call me a silly-girl—if they only know my truth. Alone,  I anxiously saunter through the swan garden as everybody else remains in the mealroom. I sigh in relief as she’s nowhere to be seen. “Great, I’m going back.” I say cheerfully, heading back.

“Jorsay!
” a voice says from my behind dropping my poise to the ground. I turn to face her. She looks adorable in a girly, fluffy short gown. She holds a basket. I gulp, her nice looks alerts me of her deadly intentions. The garden is as beautiful as everyone says. Swans fly high in the sky, reaching a lake nearby.  The trees bloom, and wind rushes the tiny dimples of flowers to us. Azania takes my hand, and pulls me to the garden’s labyrinth, a green lofty hedgy place that is forbidden to go profoundly.
I struggle and yank away from her, but she’s persistent. All she has to do is miserably pout her lips. Her innocence instantly hauls me.

We walk deeper
into the hedge. So deep I lose track.  Finally, we reach an area with many fireflies. It's there we stop, away from the rest of the couples that walk by the garden. She lays her basket and takes out the food she prepared for us.
Holy shit, she’s devious. She planned this to the extreme. I can learn from this girl.
  Azania passes me slice breads with turkey and lettuce inside. I contemplate on whether to take it, but feeling terribly uncomfortable, I accept it. “Isn’t this place beautiful?” She whispers looking at the fireflies.
Yes, it is. For a boy and a girl, this is too damn romantic.
I start eating with small bites. We eat silently. Just a bit longer, a bit more and you can go back to your room and ignore this ever happened. If something happens with her, I’m forever going to question my sexuality. “You know. Every girl in class really likes you…they say…you’re the cutest of all,” she mumbles as she eats her bread in an odd form, she holds it with both hands, observing the grass. I grimace.