Haze (22 page)

I realized that this was exactly what I was hiding from. This was the reason for the break, the reason for my indecision and fear of getting carried away.
This
was my job, and it sounded like it might not be around much longer if Jack didn't compromise his values and sign with MCI.

I wouldn't beg him either. If I was so concerned about making it on my own, I didn't want to rely on him for that support, especially when I pushed him away so I could think this through.

Why couldn't the answer be more clear?

This was a new curve ball—and it was terrifying. What if I lost this job
and
lost Jack? I'd have literally nothing here. I wanted both things, but what happened if I couldn't have either?

After a few minutes of silence—what the hell could I have said back to Sam, anyway?—I excused myself and said I wanted to get back to work after wishing him the best. Just a stupid platitude.

"Thanks again for the food," I added. Sam gave me a solemn nod as I wrapped up the remains of my giant sandwich and left the break room. This whole impromptu discussion had really put me on edge. I felt especially bad that he had paid for my lunch at all given the state of things.

What the hell was I going to do?

***

My desk seemed lonely, despite the fact that I had plenty of work to keep me company. Every time I totaled up a sales column, I thought about what Sam had said about the numbers being that much greater in the past. I kept imagining the huge number of zeroes extending beyond the page onto the desk and then spilling onto the floor...

This wasn't going to be easy, and frankly, I was going to need some outside perspective—and not Jesse's this time—if I was going to get anywhere. I still didn't want to ask Jack
just
because of this development, especially not when we were supposed to be apart. I actually cared about the relationship more than this, but my professional urges had led me to this treacherous point. Even if it wasn't actually treacherous, it felt that way.

I was sympathetic toward Sam's situation as well. Honestly, I didn't want to take sides in business transactions I barely understood. I wanted everyone to be happy. Why was that so difficult? Wasn't there
something
that would satisfy everyone's requirements? Jack sounded just as bull-headed as Sam, and I wasn't sure if I should be critical of either of them.

I thought about it around two hundred times per hour for the rest of the day, my head like a piece of dilapidated machinery that would soon be permanently out of service at the rate it was working. Sam didn't bother me again, another reason why I got so carried away. And then my phone buzzed. It was a text from Jack.

Him:
Come with me on a quick weekend trip. Please don't say no.

I set the phone on the table like it weighed a thousand pounds. Opportunity had come knocking in the best possible way, but I still felt apprehensive about giving up on my plan. Still, despite my workplace goals, I couldn't stop thinking about him each and every night—that, and my hope that the deal would work itself out naturally was evaporating fast.

Me:
Okay, I'll go. But no tricks.

My eyes were on duty watching for Sam. He never left his office.

Him:
I promise. Pack before work. A car will be there to get you at 5:30 on the dot. See you tomorrow, Effie.

My heart fluttered. I wanted to return the thanks, but didn't feel that it was necessary. Maybe it would give me some extra bargaining chips if I sounded like I was going out of the way for him, bending my very tenuous and wobbly rules just for him.

I wanted him to think that I was going because I wanted to go, not because this situation with Sam had turned my life into a very complex game and I didn't know how to make my next move.

But who was I kidding? Appearing excited would be easy, because
I was excited
. My heart was racing at the prospect of a weekend with Jack after four very long days apart. By this point, I was really craving Jack's professional input. I was certain he'd have something to say that would put me at ease right away.

Well, I hoped it would be the case. And if not, seeing him would be
really nice
.

***

I packed that night, not really sure what I was packing for. The summer weather could be unpredictable—you never know when a storm might pop up and try to drown you!—so I decided to include a full array of outfits, a couple for heat, a couple for if it got cool, and something fancy in case Jack had some extravagant surprise for me that involved an upscale party. Oh, and a rain jacket.

The whole time I packed, I wanted to call him and ask him what was up. But part of me craved a nice surprise more than anything. I think I needed that more than I needed more information.

Even though I didn't know what was coming, I slept soundly, the mere fact that I'd see Jack the next day enough to put me into peaceful slumber. The game had changed, and so had my short-term goals.

It was just the way the world worked, the way
life
worked. Whenever you planned for something specific, there was always some variable you overlooked, some crucial element that transformed the situation into an entirely different animal. The variable might be simple, life-threatening, or somewhere in the middle.

The result might be obvious, or a dreaded gray area. Sometimes not knowing was even worse than the possibility of a bad outcome because you just didn't know what to do. If it was the worst scenario and you knew it, at least you could respond.

Jesse had given me much-needed perspective, for sure. Those were angles I hadn't considered in the least prior to speaking with him. And now, there was the angle of the label going under and everyone losing their jobs. It was probably just Sam being overdramatic, but what if he was right? I didn't have an answer to this, and my desire to act apathetic wasn't going to cut it. I cared, even if I was trying to act like I didn't.

Jack would clear this up. I was sure of it.

Even though there were risks involved with seeing him, what difference did one weekend really make?

Friday went by quickly without any serious incident. Sam seemed at ease, but once again, no talk of a deal. He had a meeting with another artist that afternoon; he didn't let me sit in on that one. I hoped that having a meeting meant good news, but chances were it didn't actually amount to anything.

When I left, I felt something different than I had ever felt before when leaving the office. Something was changing, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. The feeling wasn't good or bad, just significantly present.

I turned to wave at Sam—he just didn't seem to be around. Was he hiding from something? It didn't matter. I was going to solve all my problems starting now, not because I wanted to but because I had to.

Jesse wasn't home when I got back to the apartment. I was early, but not by much. I spent those extra minutes double-checking what I had already packed and having a quick snack. Giddiness went through me in waves that were almost painful. I needed to figure this out.

I was super excited about whatever the hell this trip was. Jack had a natural talent when it came to surprises—and gobs of money to make them happen. At 5:28, I looked out the window and saw the long, black limo waiting.
The usual.

I smiled as I carried my suitcase down the stairs. This was some treatment I got, and I couldn't deny how good it made me feel. I was like faux-royalty when I got carted around like this.

When I got to the stairs outside, I noticed Jesse walking up the block. "Effie!" he called.

"Hey, Jesse," I said quietly. "I'm leaving for the weekend."

"Really? Where are you going?"

"I don't know, actually. It's with Jack." I lowered my head, feeling mildly ashamed. He noticed.

"God, Effie, don't feel like that. It's cool. Have a great time. I just want you to be happy. I'm not judging you at all."

I couldn't prevent myself from smiling. "Thanks, Jesse. Any big plans for you?"

"Playing catch-up with work stuff. Laura might come by tomorrow."

"Well, I hope it's fun." I noticed the limo driver eying me. "I
gotta go." I pointed sheepishly at the limo. "My ride is here."

Jesse shook his head and laughed. "That's for
you
?" he asked. "Damn, maybe I was wrong about this guy." He started to climb the steps, but stopped at the top one. "I'll see you Sunday, Effie. Have fun."

"You too." I watched him disappear into the entrance.

Slowly approaching the limo, I waved at the driver as he stepped out and came around the back. He opened the door and patiently waited. Jack wasn't here, but that was okay.

"Hello again, ma'am! So glad to see you. I'll take that." He grabbed my bag and put it in the back for me. It was Percy, the same driver that had taken us to the Broadway show.

"Percy, right?" I asked, my cursory guess causing his face to light up.

"That's terrific that you'd remember an old man like me. Really makes your day when the pretty ones pay attention."

He laughed, the sound just as booming and deep as I remembered it. I immediately felt at home and gave him a smile in response. He raised the window, but left a small space at the top in case we needed to communicate.

"Thanks! Nice to see you too." This was already off to a nice start.

I tossed my suitcase on the seat across from me; it was the only other guest I had in back with me, so I decided to pick it up instead of leaving it on the floor. Relaxed and ready to go, I got comfortable and put my legs up and my head back. My phone vibrated as soon as the car started moving, Jack, of course.

Him:
I can't wait to see you.

I smiled and put my phone back in my purse. I tried my best to zone out, thinking about my situation in the most passive way possible. Soon, I wouldn't be worrying about it so much and that would be a very good thing.

After about ten minutes of driving, my curiosity got the best of me. "Percy?" I shouted. "Where are we going?"

"JFK airport, ma'am," he said matter-of-factly.

"Thanks, Percy." I lowered back in my seat and felt a little upset all the sudden. I didn't pack appropriately to get through airport security if my bag was a carry-on.
Why hadn't Jack told me we were flying somewhere?
I guess I had assumed it would be a car ride, but I didn't know why.

I convinced myself it would be okay, whatever
it
was. I didn't want to throw away my full bottle of shampoo and conditioner, but if I had to, I would—and I'd make Jack front the bill to replace them. Or I could just check the bag.

Traffic was heavy around rush hour, but Percy was a damn good driver, even though he was driving an enormous luxury vehicle. On top of that, he obviously knew the streets well. When we got to the airport, he drove right past the arrivals area and stopped at a checkpoint, showing a badge to the man on duty.

After the gate rose, he started driving down a private drive that led toward the busy runway.

What the hell was this?

He kept driving, but I didn't say anything. We were approaching slowly-moving planes and it made me a little nervous to be so close to them in a car while they frolicked around the airport. They were so loud and huge from down here.

But when we pulled up to a cute private jet, all of my uncertainty faded away, evaporating into thin air. Jack was standing there on the steps in a pilot's hat, grinning from ear to ear.
Could he fly planes, too?
He was the very sexy gatekeeper to this aircraft.

The limo slowly rolled to a stop. After it was parked, Percy hopped out and again met me at the door, pulling my bag out ahead of me. "Have a safe flight, ma'am. Hope to see you again soon."

"Thank you, Percy." I met his eyes and couldn't help smiling. He seemed so unbelievably happy in the most contagious of ways, happy to spoil me with his outstanding etiquette. It was clear why Jack liked him so much.

I grabbed my suitcase from the ground and started to walk. As soon as I did, a gust of wind hit me and knocked me off balance, but I remained steadfast and continued toward Jack.

"Jack! What the hell is this?"

"It's a plane, ma'am," he laughed.

"Very funny," I said. I got to the step in front of him. He didn't move. "Are we going to board, or what?"

"You didn't go through airport security. Hands up."

I shrugged and played along. Jack patted me down starting with my feet. "Hmm, what do we have here?" He gave my ass a firm grip and a nervous chuckle escaped me. "Is this some sort of contraband, ma'am?"

"No, sir," I said quietly.

He nodded and then continued up my body until he was at my breasts. After fondling them mechanically—and extracting more laughs from me, of course—he asked what they were for.

"Floatation device, I guess." I was mildly impressed at my spontaneous, goofy answer.

"All right, ma'am. Go on ahead."