Hawthorn (15 page)

I am so excited. I got so many sweets. I’m gonna share them with all the pretty fairies, but I’m more excited about being turned into a fairy princess. I’ll have my own wings and everything. I can imagine the look on mum’s face when she sees me in my fairy dress. I wish I could tell Jules now, but I have to keep the secret, or else I won’t be able to go tonight.

Jules tucked me into bed ages ago, but I’m so not sleepy because I’m waiting, and it’s almost time to go. I was jealous of Gemma’s big party. I wanted to go to and dance and eat cake, but mum said it would be boring, and I guess she’s right ‘cos I’m gonna be in fairy land soon and that’s so much better than a stupid party.

The door makes a squeaky noise and I pretend to be sleeping. I know its Jules checking up on me. The door closes and I open my eyes and look at the wardrobe and wait.

I wait and wait and my body feels heavy and a big yawn comes and I close my eyes for a minute ‘cos they are burning.

“Wake up. It’s time, Heather.”

My eyes pop open and I remember what I was waiting for. I climb out of bed and take Elsa’s hand and together we creep out the door and down the corridor to Danny’s room.

We slip in and I creep over to his bed. He is fast asleep with his mouth open. I glance at Elsa. I don’t want to do this, not really, but Elsa said if I don’t then I can’t be a princess. So I reach under the covers and grab a hold of Buster’s leg and I pull. Danny holds Buster tighter.

I’m getting cross now, and my feet are cold. I should have put my slippers on.

“Hurry, Heather,” Elsa says.

I press my lips together and try again. This time I pull hard and Buster comes free. Danny says something in his sleep but I don’t care. I have Buster and that’s all I need.

“Come on.” I turn to Elsa and hold up Buster, but Elsa isn’t smiling. She looks upset with me and I don’t know why. “Elsa?”

“The bracelet, get the bracelet.”

Danny sighs and rolls over, his sleepy hands are looking for Buster. “I can’t, please.” I back away toward the door, but Danny is awake. He’s staring at me then at Buster in my arms.

“Heather?” He sits up and then he sees Elsa and he screams.

I turn and run toward the smelly room. Elsa is right behind me. She’s giggling and I start to giggle too. We get to the room and open the big wardrobe and climb in. I can see fairy land in the mirror. It’s so pretty and bright with so many flowers and birds and little flying fairies like Tinkerbell. One of them waves to me then does a spin thing.

I take Elsa’s hand, ready to step through and be made into a princess for real.

The door opens behind me and I turn to see Danny.

He’s crying and calling my name.

“Go away, Danny! This is my secret. I’m gonna be a princess.”

“Please, Heather, please! Can’t you see? Please! Look at it! Look at it!” He’s pointing at Elsa and I turn to look at her and she is so pretty and smiling at me.

She tugs at my hand and we step through the mirror.

I’m awake and she is asleep, but it feels all wrong. I have a job to do, someone important to see, but I’m not where I need to be. I hear music and gravitate toward it and then I am in a room filled with human children, adolescents is what they are called, the sweetest of the sweet. But the shocking thing is that they see me!

“Nice costume, Mrs L!”

“Wow! MILF!”

I glance down at my clothes, tight pants and leather vest, beads at my throat and wrist, my weapon belt, empty until I will it to be filled. I suppose to them it seems strange.

A young boy walks up to me, his face arranged in a frown as he glances about. “Have you seen Gemma?”

I shake my head slowly and he mimics me, his eyes look dazed. I sniff the air and catch the lingering scent of roses.

My heart stutters. My blood is ice and I notice the little things. The muddy hoof prints on the floor, the pile of clothes on the sofa and the semi-nude state of most of the humans.

“What happened?” I ask the boy, even though I know the answer.

The frown melts and he tilts his head back, showcasing the pinpricks of blood at his jugular. “Something wonderful…” He rubs his crotch almost absently and then blinks up at me in confusion.

Its wearing off, thank goodness, but there’s still time. They could be back.

“Have you seen Gemma?” he asks again.

I know that name, that name means the world to me, it is my prize, it’s what I fight for.

Gemma… Gemma!

I burst out of the cottage, sniffing the air. I have to find her. I catch her scent but it is ripped away by the breeze and replaced by another, one that screams of fear and death.

I break into a run.

We’re almost at the steps when Jen stumbles. The jacket she’s thrown around my shoulders is yanked away and her hand is torn from my grasp.

Sam, himself again, is holding her captive, his arm wrapped around her neck. “Please, Gemma. I need you, please don’t run. I won’t hurt you, I would never hurt you.”

I glance behind him to the sea, my body is shaking with cold and fear and the shadows are getting nearer.

“Let her go, Sam. Please, just let her go.”

“Her for you,” Sam says.

The figures are climbing out of the sea. I see Jen’s frightened face, her trembling lips.

“Fine, okay, just don’t hurt her.”

Sam holds out his free hand, keeping Jen pinned to his body with the other. I take it.

In one smooth move, he yanks me to him and pushes Jen aside.

I hear her hit the sand and cry out.

“Run!” I scream.

Jen scrambles to her feet, but instead of running away she runs toward us. I feel Sam’s body tense, sense what he is about to do and I scream for her to stop, but she doesn’t. She flies toward us, right into the kick that Sam delivers that sends her flying backwards toward the red-eyed snorting creatures that are bounding across the beach.

The closest one catches her in its jaws. I hear her scream, see the blood that spurts from her body, sprays from her mouth, hear the crunch of bone and sinew as it bites down, and I fight, I scream and kick, but he holds me firm, whispering over and over, “A boon to the sea, a boon to the sea, not you, not me, a boon to the sea.”

The light in her eyes dims and winks out, her body limp as the creatures turn away and gallop back into the sea, taking their feast with them.

I’m crying and I can’t stop. His hands are all over me, hungry mouth on my neck. I don’t care. All I see is Jen, all I see is my best friend, and I don’t care anymore.

They tooked her and they tooked my Buster. Its dark inside but I can see the dark one with Heather. It’s holding on to her. It’s gonna eat her, I know it.

I’m so scared. I turn and run down the stairs. I have to get Jules. I find her on the sofa. She’s fast asleep and I shake her and shake her and scream at her but she won’t wake.

I’m on my own and they’ve got my sister and Buster. I have to save them.

I wipe my tears. I have to be brave and I have to get her back. I have to make her see what they are.

I climb the stairs again. My legs feel wobbly and I feel like I need a wee, but I ignore all that and walk into the smelly room. The wardrobe is open and I can see inside. They are dancing and Heather is dancing with them. But every time she turns away they snap at her like hungry doggies. I climb up into the wardrobe.

“Heather!” I shout. “Heather!” She can’t hear me, but they do and they laugh. One of them, Heather’s friend, runs toward me. I jump back and fall onto the floor.

“You want her, come get her. We promise we’ll let her leave if you come.”

Her voice makes my stomach hurt.

“P-promise?”

It shows me its teeth and I realise its smiling at me.

I squeeze my eyes shut and nod. I stand up and climb into the wardrobe. Her eyes go to my wrist. “Take it off first.”

I look at my bracelet. Why does she want me to take it off? Then I remember. Heather lost her bracelet the other day. Before that, the dark ones had gone away. They’d gone away when Gemma gave us the bracelets… Maybe the bracelets are magic! But she wants me to take it off.

I have an idea. I take it off my wrist and lean outside the wardrobe and pretend to throw it but really I slip it into my underwear at the back.

She looks excited. Her eyes look bigger, like she wants to eat me. I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to go, but if I don’t then they’ll eat Heather. They’ll eat her and it’ll be all my fault.

I take a deep breath and step into the mirror.

I won’t let them have her. Like fuck will she be a boon to the friggin’ sea! She’s mine. She doesn’t qualify because she is mine.

I reach the steps and I see them retreating. They have a girl, my heart is in my mouth, then back in my chest when I realise this girl is too small, not my prize, not my Gemma.

My attention is drawn to the sobbing silhouette at the bottom of the steps and I see that my fears have been misplaced.

I take the steps three at a time. I am a shadow. I am the wind and then I am on him, tearing his mouth from her delicate skin, grasping his neck in my hands and squeezing.

His eyes are wide and frightened. He sputters and coughs and tries to speak and I realise I need to hear what he has to say for himself. I relax my grip enough for him to push out the word. “You! What are you doing here?”

“She’s mine, Shame, mine and untouchable to all fey. You dare to break the oath? You dare to challenge The Mother?”

He shakes his head, or tries at least. I have him gripped tight and I’m fighting not to snap his neck there and then to be done with it.

“You brought her to the revel didn’t you?” I ask.

“It could have been a mistake. I could have thought her human.”

I pull him close so my breath fans across his face. “Could have? Still playing with your words to weave a lie, you know it doesn’t work that way. I can smell your deceit. Your words are whispers on the wind.”

“My, my, getting poetic in your journey toward true death, aren’t we.”

His words hit home, so I rear back and head butt him in the nose, smiling at the satisfying crunch and high-pitched yelp.

“Tybical,thu albays those bilance ober words”

“You sound ridiculous.”

He drops his gaze, concentrating on the healing process. I watch as his bone knits and straightens, until he is whole again.

“She has something that belongs to me and I intend to retrieve it.”

“What in the world could she have of yours? She knows nothing of our world. I made sure of it.”

He grins, a sly, knowing grin that makes me want to shake the truth from him. But I know Shame; older than the hills and wilier. He won’t give up his secrets easy, and right now I don’t have the time for my special brand of persuasion.

“Give me your oath that you will not harm her again, that you will not approach her again, and I’ll spare your grey arse.”

He raises his lids to meet my gaze and defiance smacks me across the mouth. “I don’t have to do shit! You’ve been gone for too long, Mary. You hold no sway over me or any other lesser fey. We will feast on whomever we deem fit, be they your kin or no. The Mother cut ties with you long ago. You are no longer one of us. Soon you will cease to be, and then I will have what I crave. I will fill her with all that I love, and while you fight to protect your first treasure, another close to your heart joins us. It seems I will be fed tonight after all.” His visage shimmers and then he is gone.

I glance down at Gemma, unconscious and so beautiful.

I move to gather her up, to cover her naked flesh, but my time is running out. I can feel the tug calling me home, and I’m filled with impotent rage. I need to be here, I need to be whole. If what Shame says is true, then I have lost one of my own and my time is running out.

I hear footsteps approach, sense a friendly presence and melt into the darkness.

College on Monday is painful. Jen’s disappearance is all anyone can talk about. Only Justin and I know what really happened, and the reality is so crazy that neither of us has talked about it yet. That is a conversation I know is coming and I’m dreading it.

So far I’ve succeeded in avoiding him. I see him coming and I run the other way. Nothing unusual there, except the pained look on his face, the flash of hurt in his eyes. I hate myself for doing it after all he did for me.

I remember coming to after they took Jen. I remember the blood, my blood and his face, pale as the moon. He gave me his shirt, long enough to save my modesty. When my legs had refused to support me, he carried me all the way back to the house.

Thank god Jules and the twins were asleep. Thank god we got there before mum did. I managed to change and get into bed and Justin left, promising to catch up with me the next day.

But on Sunday, Danny was real sick, so sick he couldn’t get out of bed, so sick that he slept and slept and slept. When Justin popped round to see me, I used it as an excuse not to talk, because I couldn’t, because by then it was all over the place; Jen’s disappearance. Her mum was frantic. My mum was frantic. All I know is that a police report was filed and some of the kids set up search parties and such. I know I should have gone too, but I couldn’t bring myself to take the lie to that level; to search for her when she was gone, truly gone.

I still can’t bring myself to think the word, the word that explains what has really happened to her, so I dodge Justin. I run away because I’m not ready to face it, any of it.

“Hey, Gemma! Over here!” Stephen waves wildly. He’s sitting with Patrick and Eloise at our usual table. I plaster a smile on my face and pretend I didn’t see them, that I wasn’t deliberately headed in the opposite direction. I carry my lunch tray to their table and slide into the plastic seat next to Eloise.

“Where were you going?” Eloise asks.

“I, um…”

“Leave her alone, El. I’d be all fucked up too if I was her. Has there been any news?” Patrick asks.

I shake my head and pick up my fork, but I’m no longer hungry. In fact, I don’t think I ever was or ever will be. I drop the fork and put my hand in my lap and Eloise slips hers into it, giving mine a squeeze.

“She wouldn’t just wander off,” Stephen says. “Jen’s not like that.”

They all fall silent because they’re all thinking the same thing; that if she didn’t wonder off on her own, then someone took her, something bad has happened. They all suspect it but only I know the truth. I contemplate blurting it out, just saying the words right here. It would feel so good to relieve the burning in my chest, the throbbing in my head. I almost convince myself it’ll be okay, that they’ll believe me. I open my mouth to tell them and a shadow falls over me.

I glance up to see Justin looking down at me, his expression tight. “Hi, Gemma. Can we talk?”

I can feel Eloise’s eyes roll. “Bleedin’ hell, Justin. You really know how to pick your declaration of love moments. Don’t you know Jen’s missing? The last thing on Gemma’s mind is sucking face with you.”

Justin flushes, the white of his hair making the tinge of embarrassment brighter.

I can’t do this to him. I won’t.

I push away my tray and stand up. Justin walks off and I follow. He leads me to the lockers.

“Grab your coat and stuff.”

“What?”

“Just do it, Gem.”

I don’t know how I feel about him abbreviating my name, but I go with it. I get my coat and my bag and follow him outside to his new, old car.

We get in and he starts the engine. I don’t bother asking him where we’re going because anywhere is better than pretends-ville.