Hawks Mountain - Mobi (26 page)

As he watched the lights of the helicopter approach slowly and descend toward them, he said a silent prayer that Becky had survived the trip unharmed. Perhaps he’d still have time to have that talk with her that she’d warned him was coming after this was all over. But before he could answer her questions, he had to make peace with his haunted past.

Silence cloaked
the once bustling town square. It had been a long time since the sound of the retreating helicopter had faded into the night sky. The searchers had dispersed as magically as they’d appeared. The fire truck had been returned to the apparatus bay and the door closed. A few stragglers remained behind to clean up and wish
Lydia
well as she climbed into Sheriff
Ainsley’s
patrol car.

Now, Becky stood beside Granny Jo in front of the firehouse and watched the sheriff’s car carrying
Lydia
to the hospital disappear around the bend in the road leading out of town.

“The sheriff said that Nick went with Davy.
Seems the boy wouldn’t let him out of his sight.”
Granny placed a hand on Becky’s shoulder. “Let’s go home, child. Davy and
Lydia
will be fine, and we can’t do anymore here.”

Worry about
Lydia
’s and Davy’s welfare was not what concerned Becky. She knew that Nick had taken very good care of the boy and soon he’d be in good hands at the hospital. Once mother and son were reunited, they’d be fine.

What troubled her was the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach that she’d never see Nick again. Would he even come back to the mountain after the ultimatum she’d handed him in the woods? Had she cornered him and, in doing so, driven him away?

Granny Jo steered Becky toward her car. She went along without protest, her thoughts about Nick in too much turmoil to object. Once settled in the passenger seat, Becky leaned back and closed her eyes. But, when all she could see were kaleidoscopic images of Nick charging like an enraged bull through the woods in search of Davy, she opened them quickly. Something had been pushing him, something that had to do with his dark moods.
Crazy?
Perhaps.
But perhaps not.
She had no proof except a gut feeling. No concrete connection. But the certainty of her convictions remained with her all the way home.

Inside the house, Granny put water on to boil. “I’ll make us a nice hot cup of tea and while you’re drinking it, I’ll fix something for you to eat. You must be starved.”

“Not really.” Just the idea of putting food in her mouth made Becky’s stomach churn.

“Not eating is not going to bring Nick back here any faster.” Granny began pulling items from the refrigerator.

“If he comes back.”

Granny paused and stared at Becky. “Now what on earth makes you say that?”

Becky hadn’t meant to say that out loud, and she certainly didn’t want to admit how stupid she’d been by shoving Nick into a corner. Instead, she shrugged and gave her grandmother the first explanation that sprang to mind. “He’ll probably stay overnight in
Charleston
.”

“More than likely.
I’m sure he’ll want to be there when
Lydia
arrives and then stay with her until they know Davy’s been seen to.” Granny began slicing the roast beef and arranging the slices on the bread she’d coated with mayonnaise.
“Seems like things turned out good after all.
Davy’s
gonna
be fine, once his leg mends.
Lydia
is keeping custody of her son.” After halving the sandwiches, she put them on plates, and the set them on the table and took a seat across from Becky. “You and Nick did
good
.”

Granny Jo’s praise dragged Becky from her thoughts about Nick. They had done
good
, and this time there was a happily ever after ending. “Yes, I guess we did. I just wish I could have done the same for Timmy and Maria.”

With her sandwich half way to her mouth, Granny stopped.
“Who on earth’s Timmy and Maria?”

Becky looked into the loving face of her grandmother. The time had come for Granny to know why she’d come home to
Hawks
Mountain
.
Time for her to share her shame.
At least most of it.
She’d leave out the part about Sonny’s betrayal because that didn’t matter anymore.
Hadn’t for a long time.
Not since she’d met Nick.

“Timmy and Maria were one of my cases in
Atlanta
,” she finally said. “Their situation resembled
Lydia
’s and Davy’s in a lot of ways.”

Once she’d started talking about it, the words poured from her like a spring flood. She left nothing out: the squalor in which Maria and her son had lived, how much Maria loved the boy, how diligently Maria had worked to support them, how desperately Timmy wanted to be with his mother, how despicably her ex had behaved, how hard Becky had fought to keep mother and son together and, ultimately, how she’d failed miserably.

“Right after the judge announced his decision, Maria fled from the courtroom sobbing hysterically. I went after her, but she’d disappeared. It wasn’t until a few hours later that I found her in her
apartment .
 . . on Timmy’s bed.” All the guilt and sorrow came rushing back. Becky stopped talking and swallowed hard against the lump of tears filling her throat. “
She’d .
 . . slit her wrists. If only I’d done more,
maybe .
 . . ”

“Oh, my dear Lord!”
Granny gasp was the first sound she’d made since Becky had begun talking. She clutched Becky’s hand in hers. “That’s a real tragedy, but you can’t blame yourself, child, and there’s no way you can expect to win them all.
It’s
just not
gonna
happen. You did all you could. What that boy’s momma did
had
nothing to do with you.”

“But—”

“You’re comparing strawberries to acorns.
Lydia
and that woman are two totally different people, Becky. You have no power over how anyone is deep inside, any more than you can change Jake’s love of chasing squirrels. It’s a part of who they are, who they’ve grown to be over the years because of circumstances. And that’s not your fault.” She placed a finger under Becky’s chin and raised it, forcing her to make eye contact. “
You hearing
me?”

Becky nodded, although she wasn’t convinced, but there was no sense in keeping Granny up with her problems any longer tonight. “You’re right, Granny.”

“That’s my girl.” She sighed tiredly, stood and gathered her own dishes, leaving the untouched sandwich in front of Becky. “I’m going to bed. It’s been a very long day. I suggest you eat that sandwich and then you do the same.”

Becky forced a smile. “I will.”

Under Granny’s watchful eye, she picked up the sandwich and took a bite. It tasted like straw, but she chewed and chewed, then swallowed it. Granny kissed the top of Becky’s head, patted her shoulder and then shuffled off to bed, leaving Becky alone to consider their conversation. While a myriad of feelings swirled within her, Becky continued to munch on the sandwich until, to her surprise, she’d eaten it all.

Picking up her tea cup, she went to the front porch and dropped into one of the rockers. She leaned back and set the chair in motion with a push of her foot. A soft breeze carried the perfume of Granny’s roses to her. She smiled. The smell reminded her of many other nights when she’d come out here to work through a problem. Somehow, out here with the stars scattered across the heavens like the thoughts running through her mind, she could think, sort through her thoughts and put them in order.

Had she really been to blame for the outcome of Maria and Timmy’s fate? Why had she been successful with one family and such a tragic failure with the other? What had been the difference between Maria and
Lydia
? Was she comparing strawberries and acorns, as Granny had said?

In her mind, the two scenarios had seemed so similar, but where they really? There was one way to actually see it for
herself
.

Becky slipped into the house, grabbed a pencil and paper from Granny’s writing desk and after flipping on the porch light, returned to the rocker. She drew a vertical line down the center of the sheet. At the top of one column, she printed
acorns/Lydia and Davy
. At the top of the other, she printed
strawberries/Maria and Timmy
. Then, she began listing what she knew of each family.

Both moms loved their boys, and their boys adored them. Both were single parents with belligerent
ex’s
determined to gain custody. Becky stared at the paper trying to come up with other similarities, but she soon realized that this was where any similarities ended.
Lydia
had done everything she could to keep Davy, while Maria had virtually given up before the fight even began and then gave up totally when she took her life.

Granny was right.
Lydia
had been a fighter, always had been, and would have battled with George until her last breath. While Maria, despite having loved her child, just didn’t have it in her to go head to head with her ex, even though it had come down to her losing her child forever instead of staying alive and continuing to fight. She’d taken the only way she could think of to end her misery.

Becky leaned back in the rocker and stared at the sparkling heavens. A glorious sensation of relief enveloped her. For the first time in months, the awful guilt she’d been carrying around had lifted. It hadn’t been her fault after all. She’d done everything she knew how to keep Maria and Timmy together, but without Maria’s help and determination, Becky had lost before they’d even got started. But the biggest loser of all had been Timmy.

Suddenly, the mental and physical expenditures of the day took their toll, and she could hardly keep her eyes open. For the first time in a very long time, she’d be able to go to bed and sleep with a clear conscience.

Tomorrow, she’d go to Nick’s cabin and they would have that talk.

As Becky neared Nick’s cabin the following morning, a large ball of dread settled in her stomach when she saw the empty driveway. Hopefully, he hadn’t come back from the hospital yet, and his truck was still parked in town. But the stillness surrounding the cabin only served to make the ball of dread grow larger.

She took a deep breath and climbed the front stairs. Her heavy heartbeat pounded in her ears. Twice she raised her fist to knock and twice she lowered it. What would she do if her fears of last night were right, and Nick hadn’t come back?

You’ll never find out if all you do is stand here hemming and hawing.

At last she knocked.

And waited.

Then knocked again.

And waited some more.

The knot in her stomach grew larger. Nervously, she glanced at the vacant spot in the driveway where he normally parked. Maybe, by the time he got back to town, he was too tired to drive, and his truck’s not here because someone drove him home. Maybe—

Who was she fooling? Face it. He’s gone. Her prying had chased him away.

Get a hold of yourself, girl! You’re jumping to conclusions.

Feeling a bit better, she tried the doorknob. It turned, and the door swung open. Cautiously, she entered. The silence inside the house was even more deafening than it had been outside. She listened for any noise that would tell her Nick was home, but none came. He might still be sleeping. After all, he’d had a very exhausting day yesterday and a long night at the hospital with
Lydia
and Davy.

Starting to leave, she spotted an envelope propped against the bowl on the coffee table. She walked close enough to read the name written across the front –
Becky
.

Had there been a basement in the cabin, her heart would have been in it. For a long time she stared at it, terrified to find out what waited inside. All kinds of possibilities ran through her mind.