Havoc (Los Desperados MC) (7 page)

I stood shakily to my feet and, once I was standing, Julian pulled me back so I was pressed against him. He wrapped his hands around my stomach and I let my head loll back onto his chest. I was breathing heavily and felt suddenly rather lightheaded in the steamy bathroom. “We should turn the water off in here,” I said. “I can barely see.”

He pulled himself away from me and complied, turning the water off. He took his condom off and threw it in the trash and then came back with a towel. Gently he brought it over my arms and my breasts and my back, letting the soft fabric caress my still-tingling skin. Finally he wrapped me up in it and took one for himself.

“Come to bed,” he said to me and I nodded in response.

I felt so exhausted at that moment. I couldn’t imagine doing anything other than sleeping. We walked the short walk from the bathroom to the bedroom. He had a simple queen-sized bed with a black bed frame and a matching dresser. There were two windows with bright afternoon light flowing in. Julian quickly went over and closed the curtains darkening the room.

He handed me a clean pair of boxers and a large t-shirt and I dressed quickly as I dried my hair as best I could with a towel. The clothes were too big for me and the shirt hung to my knees, but they smelled lovely and were very soft, exactly what I wanted to be wearing at that moment. Julian had a blue bedspread and I pulled it back to reveal white sheets and soft-looking pillows. I climbed into bed and he climbed into the other side and lay down on his back.

He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me down until I was lying on his chest. He stroked my back with my hands as I closed my eyes and dozed in and out. I didn’t want to think about what this meant or what the ramifications would be.

“You know,” Julian said. “When I walked into the bathroom I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I was really worried that you were going to kick me in the balls and knock me out.” I laughed out loud at that and brought my fingers up to stroke the thick dark hair on his chest. “So now what?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m too tired to think.”

“Then go to sleep,” he said. “It’s been a crazy. Wow, it hasn’t even been a full twenty-four hours yet,” he chuckled and I could feel it under my head. But my eyes were quickly closing and I was falling asleep tucked away safe in his arms.

When I woke the next morning I was on my side and Julian’s arms were wrapped around me. I snuggled back against him and he gave out a quiet moan and held me tighter. I looked at the clock on the dresser and was thoroughly confused. It said seven forty-five, but the PM light wasn't lit up. Was it really seven forty-five in the morning? We had gone to sleep in the early afternoon and I had certainly been tired enough to sleep for more than ten hours, but could hardly believe I had.

I managed to free myself from his arms and I got up quietly to walk to the bathroom. I did my business and then rinsed my mouth out with mouthwash. I would have to have Julian get me a toothbrush, but the thought froze me in my tracks. A toothbrush meant I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon; had I already resigned myself to that? I walked out into the living room and stared at the door. I could open it and go down, but what would greet me, and what about Julian? Could I really be the kind of girl who would use a guy like that? I hadn’t had sex with Julian to get something out of it. I had slept with him because I wanted to, because I wanted him.

I moved past the door and got a glass of water and walked back to the bedroom where Julian was sitting up in bed looking worried.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as I slid back between the covers.

He looked at me and then gave a short laugh. “You were gone a while. I was worried you had made a break for it.”

“I thought about it,” I said with a smile as I handed him the glass and he took a hearty sip.

“But you didn’t?”

“It seemed rude to fuck and run,” I said and he laughed. “But I’m not...” I trailed off, unsure of what I was or wasn’t anymore.

“You don’t have to pledge your loyalty today,” Julian said. “But why don’t you just spend some time with us and see what we’re about. I think you might like us.”

“So a trial run in your gang?” I asked.

“Basically,” he answered. “But the thing is, no one can know about what happened yesterday. They can’t know about you stealing my bike or us hooking up.”

“Why, are you married?” I asked.

“No,” he said.

“Are you embarrassed of me?”

“No,” he said, pulling my chin so I facing him and he kissed me gently. “Definitely not. But people will think that my judgment is compromised and they might take you away from me. I would never let that happen, but it’s probably best to avoid a fight.”

“Yeah,” I agreed sadly. “And if The Bandits found out, I don't think I’d be welcome back into the fold.”

“Well that’s a reason for us to tell everyone,” he said with a smirk and I rolled my eyes and leaned against his shoulder.

I wished we could just stay here like this in bed. I didn’t want to have to think about tomorrow or the people downstairs. I just wanted to be with Julian for as long as I could.

“Are you hungry?”

“Famished.”

We pulled ourselves apart and I watched as he stood and dressed quickly. “Here,” he said, throwing me a pair of sweatpants. “I forgot I still had these.” He looked sheepish as he said it and I pulled the pants on and found that they were way too long for me.

“An ex-girlfriend’s?” I asked, rolling the pants up.

“Very ex,” he said. “She’s long gone.”

A giant t-shirt and baggy sweats wasn’t the most attractive outfit. But I figured no one would see me in them, at least.

“You should put shoes on,” Julian said as he laced his boots up. He had put my clothes in the wash so I could at least be dressed normally soon.

“Why?”

“We’re eating downstairs,” he said. “Marco’s called a meeting.”

“In the clubhouse?” I sputtered. He wanted me to go downstairs and eat and drink with the members of Los Desperados? Didn’t he understand everyone down there hated me and would sooner stab me in the face than give me a plate of eggs?

“You’ll be fine. You’ll be with me,” he said. “Lets just not mention you stealing my bike and what we did last night. If anyone asks, we checked out the drop-off site and then went for a ride and we came back here. Nothing else.”

“What did we do on the ride? What did we talk about?” I asked. It was always good to get your story straight before the questioning started. That was criminal enterprise basics.

“We talked about you joining the gang. You’re considering it,” he answered. I was considering it. Just thinking about it. I hadn’t made up my mind yet. But Julian had been right. Los Desperados were good, very good. How good your gang was mattered. If you were going to put your life and your freedom on the line for a gang, they needed to be worthy of it.

“Can we wait until my clothes are clean?” I asked holding my arms in my giant t-shirt and rolled up jeans. “I look like a high schooler who overslept.”

“You look great,” Julian said. “If anything, I’m more worried about what you’re going to say than how you look. I am powerful in Los Desperados, Daniela, but I’m not God. If you insult someone, or insult the club, or steal anything, there is only so much I can do to protect you. You have to be on your best behavior and not for me, for you – for your own safety.”

I nodded in understanding and slipped into my boots. Keeping my mouth shut had never really been a skill of mine, but they stakes had never been higher.

The bar downstairs was full. Tables that had previously been locked away had been opened up and set up around the floor. There were about eight people to a table and I could hear them laughing and talking as we walked in. There were older men in their seventies and girls sitting on their boyfriends’ lap and even a few kids running around. There were a few single men eating along at the bar, having a beer with their eggs, but, overall, it looked nice. It felt more like a country diner than a biker club at that moment.

Julian walked in and I followed him. At first I thought about trying to hide behind him, but they were going to see me either way and I would rather go in with my head held high than sulking like some coward. When we walked in you almost had to shout to be heard over the din, but one by one the people in the bar saw me and silence took over. People stopped eating, talking, and chewing as they all turned their heads to look at me.

I felt like I was under a spotlight. All eyes were on me. I was in their territory and they knew it. They didn’t trust me and I was getting the feeling they didn’t like me much either. I stood and looked around the room, searching for a friendly face, but there was only anger and distrust everywhere I looked. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do; should I try and explain myself, ask them what they would do in my place? But that wouldn’t do any good. Finally, Julian took me gently by the elbow and guided me to a table where a few men sat eating silently.

Slowly the conversation around me picked back up and someone appeared over my shoulder with coffee. I added cream and sugar and then closed my eyes as the warm liquid slid over my tongue and down my throat. I focused on the smell of the coffee and tried to ignore everything else around me. Julian was next to me and underneath the table, where no one could see, I felt him rest his hand on my knee and give me a little squeeze.

I resisted the urge to smile at him as breakfast was brought to us. It was scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and hash browns. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten anything and my stomach rumbled as the food was put before me. I couldn't help myself and I dug in, taking a big bite of the eggs and bacon.

“You should take a picture; it’ll last longer,” I said to the man across the table from me. He had dark hair and dark eyes and was watching my every movement.

“That is true,” he responded. “No one expects you to last very long.”

“Easy, Rick,” Julian said, taking a sip of his coffee. “She’ll last, you see.”

Not going to last long? Was that what Los Desperados thought of me, that I wasn’t going to last? They didn't know me very well. Then again, I had come very close to ending it all several times yesterday. But after hearing that, it made me want to outlive every person in this bar just to show them I could.

“Oh yeah,” Rick continued. “You got some vested interest you’re not telling anyone else about?” His glance went from Julian to me and then back to Julian as he raised his eyebrows in a challenge.

“My only interest is what’s best for Los Desperados, and she’s good. We don’t throw away useful things. That’s very wasteful,” Julian said as he ate. His voice was calm to the point of bored as if he had this argument many times.

I wondered how often he had come to my defense since my capture. And how had I thanked him for it? By stealing his bike and almost getting him arrested. If he hadn’t been the person to jack my rig in the first place, it was possible I would feel bad about what I had done.

“Sometimes things, and people, are more trouble than they're worth,” Rick said. “Unless there’s some other benefit you’re getting that you aren’t sharing with the rest of us.”

I could see Julian barely containing his anger. There was a vein throbbing in his neck that looked very dangerous and as he opened his mouth to speak, I cut in: “Are you asking if we’re fucking?” I said taking a ladylike sip of my coffee. “Because we’re not. I guess not everyone is as desperate as you are.”

The two other men at our table snickered into their food as Rick rolled his eyes at me and leaned back into his chair. I wanted to look at Julian to see if that had been too far, but when I glanced over at him, he was eating as if nothing had happened. But then his hand moved up and down just a little on my leg and I knew I had been right.

“A lady at the table. What did I do to get so lucky?” a voice said. I turned around and saw a tall bearded man as he placed his tray next to mine. To my surprise he lifted my hand and with some pretty impressive theatrics he bowed and kissed it. “You must be the lovely Daniela who has the whole club freaking out.”

“People are freaking out?” I asked.

“No, David is just being dramatic,” Julian said, shaking his head.

“That hurts my feelings, Julian,” David said as he added about half the saltshaker to his eggs. “I’m just speaking the truth here. You are literally the only thing anyone’s talked about. I kind of thought you would be taller. The way the guys on the raid were talking about you, it’s like you were the She Hulk or something. What are you, like five feet tall?”

“I’m five four,” I said indignantly.

“Yeah well, I’m five nine and I’m a little scared of you if the stories are true.”

I hid a secret smile, I hadn’t known that I had a reputation amongst Los Desperados, but I didn’t mind. A little mystique is never a bad thing.

“She coming with on a heist soon?” David asked over me as he spoke to Julian.

“It’s a little early for that,” Julian said. Rick shrugged his shoulders and dug into his food shovel eggs and potatoes into his mouth like it was his last meal on earth. I tried to keep my face a blank mask. I was still worried that word would get out about me stealing Julian’s bike. If the other men found out about it they might retaliate. It was a huge insult to steal a biker’s ride.

“What heist?” I asked. I couldn’t help myself. I was curious about what they were doing and I was itching to get behind the wheel again.

“Why are you interested?” Julian asked. “I thought you didn’t want anything to do with Los Desperados.” The talk around the room had got louder again and Julian and I were able to speak quietly enough so only we could hear.

“Trial run,” I said with a shrug of my shoulders. He gave me an inquisitive look and I finally understood the damage I had done the other day when I had run. I wasn't sure how Julian could ever trust me again after that and I don’t think he knew how he could either.

“We’re always planning heists, always watching and waiting. When they happen, they’re usually last minute. We get a tip, decide if it’s real, and then release the hounds. We have a few that are ready to go. We’re just waiting for the perfect opportunity. You gonna ride with us?”

I knew he wanted me to say yes, needed me to say yes. But I just couldn’t do it yet. I was a Bandit and I had sworn my loyalty to death. It’s not an easy thing to do away with that, to just take something you once held as the most important thing in your life and then toss it aside.

“I guess it depends who the hit is,” I said. We were sitting closer together than we probably should have. Our heads were leaning towards each other and we were whispering. It looked very conspiratorial and not good if Julian didn’t want people to know we were sleeping together. I sat up straight and moved away from him focusing on my food.