Havoc (28 page)

The hot red eye in the center of the pulsar's bore filled her vision.

Then: “I can't. I can't fucking do it.” Elion dropped the weapon to his side. Sayal let out a heavy breath, and Kels put his hand on his friend's shoulder, then took the weapon from him.

"Of course you can't,” he said. “Because she's still our Sayal. It doesn't matter if she's half-Prime or half-Quitza; she's still the girl we love."

Shifting from one foot to the other, Elion shook his head, his expression tortured. “I don't know. Is she? Is anything real anymore, or did she just brain fuck us?"

Risking his wrath, Sayal lifted her hands a little and said carefully, “I do not have the power to make people love me."

Kels set the weapon aside again. “Sayal, precious, I'm going to put you away for now, in my quarters, all right? I'm going to lock you in. I'm sure you understand. You'll be safe there. El and me have to talk things over, decide what we're going to do next.” He put out his hand, and she took it, rising shakily to her feet. Her legs had no strength at all. Without another word, Kels put his arm around her and walked her from the com deck, leaving a fractured Elion behind. Sayal glanced at him one last time before they left the deck.

"Elion...” she murmured.

"He'll come around. Don't fret."

She glanced up at Kels's serious, thoughtful face. “You're not afraid of me?"

He looked down at her. “No."

"You believe me?"

They turned a corner and paused in front of the door to his quarters, where he let her go. “Yeah, I do. Your story's too crazy to be anything but truth. Besides, it fills in a lot of empty gaps I've been ruminating on, like who was after us on Aleut."

"Yes. The Prime. I've been trying to think of who it might be."

"Do you know?"

"Perhaps Asheni, my tutor. Not Sorush. He would never leave his ship.” She stepped closer to him. “I never would have knowingly put you or Elion in danger. My plan seemed so simple, and now it's gotten so complicated."

"Plans have a way of doing that.” He leaned a shoulder against the door, hands in his coat pockets. “How long have you been on the run?"

"Approximately four months."

"Four months in a universe you know little about?"

She gave a small shrug. “I knew from vids and my tutor's teachings."

"How'd you get to Aleut?"

"I stowed away on a supply galley leaving Sorush's liner; then from there, I kept jumping ships. If there were many humans aboard, it wasn't hard to blend in. Otherwise, I hid. I wanted to get as far from him as possible."

"And that's how you landed in the Dregs."

"Yes. But I do believe Fate led me to you. I don't believe our meeting came by chance."

His eyebrows dipped. “Fate? Are you religious?"

"No, but...I do think there's a force that may guide us, watch over us. My mother taught me it was so."

"Your mother, the Prime worshipper?"

"She gave that up when she learned the Primes’ true intentions.” She dropped her gaze to his boots, still red dusted from the moon's surface. “I've learned things—felt things I never knew were possible since I escaped. Perhaps there is nothing, no greater meaning to all this.” She met his eyes again. “Even if that's true, there's still you and Elion. And for that alone I would complete my mission."

"To kill this Sorush."

She nodded.

"What happens after you kill him?"

"I will destroy his ship and all records of what he's done."

He seemed skeptical. “And you know how to do this?"

"Yes. I've studied the ship's holomanuals. There are overrides I can set in place."

"Hm. All right. What if he kills you?"

"Then again the mission is complete. If my body is destroyed, he must begin again, and women like my mother, true empaths, are one in a billion if that."

He crossed his arms and pulled on his lower lip. “So when we got to the high games, and let's say this Sorush did see you, he'd politely invite you back to his place. Is that it?"

She tried to decipher his tone. “Perhaps not politely..."

"And me and El? He'd just say, ‘'Scuse me, fellas. That's my bird you've got there. Mind if I cut in?’”

She rubbed her arms. “I don't know. It's not you he'd be after."

"But we know about you. At least now we do."

"He wouldn't know that."

"Would he take the chance?"

A chill ran through her. “Oh. I hadn't thought... Oh, Kels..."

He pushed off the door and waved his hand over the panel to open it. “I don't mean to make you feel guilty, luv, but this is a serious situation for all of us. I'm still going to aim us toward the Zone, but we have a bit of time before we get there, and we all need to put our heads together and puzzle out a solution. Else we're all goners, most likely. I'm sure I don't have to remind you how powerful Primes are. The closer we get to the Zone, the more pull they've got too.” He put his hand on her back, the familiar pressure like a balm on her guilt-racked soul. “And forget the high games in any case. They have much better scans. They'd pick up your alien DNA same as Canto's, but they'd filter out the source. You'd be handed over to the military for dissection or back into the same tangle you left."

Sayal shuddered. “Fates, I'm so stupid."

"No, you're not.” He compressed his lips at her dour self-assessment. “Just naive. Let's concentrate on what we do know for certain, and not beat ourselves up over whatever mistakes we've made, eh?"

She thought a moment, shaking her head at her poor planning. What a fool she'd been. “Leave me, Kels. Drop me somewhere, anywhere. Take off. Forget you ever knew me."

He threaded his fingers through her hair and cupped her cheek. “I'm afraid that's not going to happen neither, princess. My mate's in love with you, and I have to say I've grown fairly attached as well. We don't abandon the folks we take into our hearts. There's a lesson for you.” And he smiled. Tears welled in her eyes. He thumbed them away. “Don't cry. Nothing undoes me like a woman's tears, and I need my brain on straight."

He bent to kiss her, and she lifted to the balls of her feet to meet him. She put her arms around his neck and held on tight, and he did as well, holding her to him with strong arms. If only he'd hold her forever, make her feel safe and wanted. Despite his admonition, she sniffled against his chest. “Kels?"

"What is it?"

"I don't think Elion loves me anymore."

He pulled back to look at her. “Why? Just because he almost vaporized you?"

She nodded, wiping her tears away on the back of her hand.

"Now, luv, if you let a little thing like that get in your way, you'll never find your happiness. He didn't do it, did he?"

"Well, no."

He found a scrap of tissue somewhere in one of his deep pockets and handed it to her. “And he never would have. Do you honestly think I would've handed him that pulsar if I'd thought he'd pull the trigger?"

She had, without a doubt. Blowing her nose, she tipped her head ambiguously.

He smoothed his palm over her hair. “Be strong, Sayal. We'll muscle our way through this. You'll see.” He waved her ahead of him into his quarters. “Can I get you anything? Hool? Cigs? More hool?"

She actually found herself smiling a little, though sadly. “No, thank you."

"All right, then. You sit tight while me and El ponder. Probably best you don't leave until we come and get you."

"I understand."

He gave her another little peck on the lips before the door slid shut between them, and Sayal dropped to the edge of his bed. No matter what he said, there truly seemed to be only one way out, and that was to turn herself over to Sorush. She'd have to escape the ship as soon as they landed.

Fates, how had she gotten herself into this? Sayal stripped out of the canvas gear down to her own clothes and lay back on the cool sheets. Her mind whirling, she tried to make plans that would work this time and save the men she loved.

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Kels took his time walking down the corridor to return to Elion. He raked his hands through his hair and breathed out heavily. What a tangle. He thought of his mate fuming on the com deck and opted to shed his protective gear first, maybe give El a few more minutes to cool off.

But when he rounded the bend into the gear room, he found Elion sitting on a weapons locker, already back in his white T-shirt and khakis and securing the lovely, lethal pulsar Kels had acquired during the fight.

"'ello, mate,” Kels said, gauging his friend's mood.

Elion said nothing, just fixed the locks on the pulsar and set it into a rack along with their other weapons that then disappeared into the wall unit. He looked up at Kels, and yeah, he was still pissed.

"What are we going to do?” he asked bluntly.

"Well,” Kels said, sitting opposite him on a second locker and hauling off his grimy boots, “I say we kill the bad guy, rescue the girl, and save the SenVerse."

"And how do you propose we do that?"

He stood and slid out of his pants. “I'm open to suggestions."

"Fuck, Kels.” Elion stared aside, his mouth set in a grim line. “A Prime."

"Part Prime,” he reminded him.

"Which part?” He laughed unpleasantly.

"Not the girl parts,” Kels said, not liking his mate's tone. “Primes are all male. Most of her's got to be human."

"No human kills with a touch."

"Oh, I don't know. I've seen you rip ‘em up pretty good with that martial training of yours. Nice job on Corsair's gangers by the way."

Elion shook his head. “What if Jalanna'd taken you up on your generous offer? Do you really think I've got twenty thousand iron lying around?"

"'Course not. I was feeling out how much she was getting paid."

"Quite a lot apparently. And by who? Sayal's
creator
?” He spoke the word with such venom that it gave Kels pause.

"She can't help being what she is. And you can't blame her for not telling us. She spoke truth, even it if was a bit after the fact. She's frightened, not just for herself, but for us. Believe me. If I know her, she's meditating in my quarters right now, trying to figure a way out of this mess, same as we are."

"Could be one lie on top of another."

"You know it's not.” He sat again and put his elbows on his thighs. “You'd feel it if she were lying. We're bonded together, our minds linked, like she said."

Elion bolted to his feet. “Don't even say that.” He dragged his hands over his head as if he could squeeze her out of it. “I don't want to be brain fucked by a Prime. Who knows? Maybe she already made me...” He trailed off, his expression agonized.

"Made you fall in love with her?” Kels finished quietly. “No, El, that was natural. She's a special girl, no matter her genetic makeup.” He stood to pull on his pants, then hung his protective gear in the storage locker.

"It does matter, though,” Elion said after a moment. “I can't love a...an alien. It's not right."

Kels put his hand on his shoulder. “Mate, not that long ago, people would have said you weren't right for loving a man, but you love me, eh? And I love you, and we both have feelings for Sayal. It's just the wheel turning. It's inevitable. Take the time you need to wrap your head around it, but don't even try to deny it. I've never seen you so smitten with anyone. Not even with me,” he said, raising his eyebrows as if amazed and trying to make a little joke out of it.

Elion's eyes softened, and he shook his head. “There's an Old Earth saying. A bird and a fish might fall in love, but where would they live?"

"I guess that's what we have to figure.” Kels turned to stomp his feet into his grav boots. “First we have to look at this whole situation objectively, which means stripping our emotions out of it and separating what we know for sure from what we only think we know. There might be gaps Sayal can fill in for us, but as far as knowledge about the SenVerse in general goes, we're light-years ahead of her. She's only been out on her own for about four months, she told me."

Elion stood with his hands in his pockets, his gaze downcast. “Why us, though?” He brought up his eyes to peer at Kels. “Of all the beings in the SenVerse, why'd she pick us?"

Kels tipped his head. “Fate."

"You believe in that?"

"Dunno. Got to play the hand you're dealt, though, eh?"

He nodded slowly. He seemed to be coming to grips with the situation, thank the saints. All this emotional turmoil was fucking exhausting. Kels said, “When you're ready, I'm sure she'd want to talk with you."

Elion rubbed his cheek and sighed. “Crack, the things I said... She's got to hate me.” He crossed his arms over his chest, shoulders slumped, the picture of abject misery. “For fuck's sake, I held a pulsar on her. Why'd you give it to me? What if I'd shot her?"

"I knew you wouldn't."

"You take such chances."

"When are you going to learn to trust me?” He held his friend's gaze, though it pained him to see Elion in such heartbreak. “Now, listen. Sayal's tucked away for the moment, and we've got to fold and fly. Then I need a run to sort my head.” He often did his best thinking on the ship's treadmill and looked forward to sweating out some of the tension since no one was likely to be up to fucking it out. “Let's you and me meet on the com deck around six-hour, and we'll compare notes. What do you say?"

Elion nodded and looked at him thoughtfully. “You know, that's the first time you've said you loved me when you weren't drunk."

"Yeah, I do feel bad about that. I've taken you for granted. Just figured you'd always be there for me, like you always have been."

"And I always will.” Elion leaned into him and kissed him. He hadn't shaved, and his light beard felt scratchy rubbing over Kels's lips, but Kels's body hummed with welcome and familiar sexual anticipation. He slipped his arms around his friend, drawing his lean, hard frame against his own. Yeah, he really did love Elion. It might not be exactly the same kind of love he had for the birds, but if El needed a cock up his ass now and then, Kels would be more than happy to oblige. He wouldn't mind it right now in fact, but this kiss had more of a “glad we're in this together” vibe, and Elion seemed far too sad for sex.