Have Gun, Will Travel (The Bare Bones MC Book 5) (20 page)

“Keep up the good work, bro,” said Duji. “We’ve got eyes on this guy.”

That filled Sax with satisfaction. But his main goal, now he’d dispensed with Leo temporarily, was to find Bee. To give her comfort.

BEATRIX

“D
id you make fish for me because it’s Friday?”

I grinned at Sax’s confusion. He was obviously not a religious man and of course I didn’t hold that against him in any way. It was sort of cute, his confusion. “What? Why Friday? No, I just figured you seemed like a fish kind of gal.”

I swallowed my tilapia. “You mean, a sort of fishy type of girl?” We were sitting at Sax’s dining room table enjoying the meal he’d cooked for me. I was so astounded he’d invited me to his house that I was still in shock, afraid to make a wrong move for fear the dream would evaporate. Just seeing his house was a whirlwind of discovery. Once I moved around the rooms of the A-frame nestled under ponderosa pines, I saw that everything fit him to a T, except maybe the Xbox his house sitter had left behind. He had given notice to his old family friend Lila for her to move out, a sign to me that he planned on sticking around on a more fulltime basis.

I loved his smile. “Not exactly. Just that you seem to be conscious of your diet. You’re very…trim.”

“You mean flat-chested. That’s all right. Go ahead. Say it,” I teased.

“I never noticed,” he said, straight-faced, shoveling some rice into his mouth.

I sighed with contentment and sipped the cabernet his roommate hadn’t consumed. He said he used to have quite the wine cellar but over time Lila had cleaned him out. He hadn’t added to the cellar in recent years, not having much room in his saddlebags for anything other than rocks. Of course there was an abundance of those all over the house. He said he dealt in mostly thumbnails, the smaller rocks being easier to transport, but he had several “rock cabinets” brimming with larger specimens. Amazing native copper from Michigan, silver from Nevada, gold from California, and of course plenty of Arizona turquoise, azurite, and malachite. He had fluorite from Namibia, giant cubic pyrite from Spain, and tons of different puffy white things that looked like bunny rabbits. I’d always remotely admired minerals, so I spent quite a bit of time studying his specimens. It was breathtaking.

I guess I thought this was as good a time as any to launch into the subject. “So what’s the next step with Tormenta?” I tried to make light of it. “Hey, it’s some of my money on that bounty. I need to know the status.”

He didn’t seem to mind telling me. “As long as you don’t take it upon yourself and go running out trying to help, little sister. I put a tracker on his car, and kind of a doofus mistake Tobiah made might actually turn out to come in handy. The quadcopter we used, he’d filled out a warranty card on it. Tormenta’s goons shot it down and wound up looking up the warranty information. Unluckily for Tobiah he had it registered to him up at the Leaves of Grass pot farm address, so they’ve got extra guards around the clock up there.”

I had to giggle. Using a piece of equipment on a sting that you’d registered under warranty was a typical dweeb thing for Tobiah to do. He’d done some brilliant work for the club, but I knew a nerd like him couldn’t resist
not
registering an electronic gadget. It had probably never occurred to him he’d be using it in a shootout. He probably just flew it to make sure no one was sneaking into his pot plantation.

Now Sax smiled mysteriously. “But as it turned out, when they were online hacking into Tobiah’s warranty information, an affiliate ad for SizErect, which is exactly what it sounds like, caught their eye.”

I was glad I didn’t have anything in my mouth, because I did a complete spit take. “Our father in heaven! You’ve
got
to be kidding!”

Sax sipped his wine with confidence. “I kid you not. Apparently it has many satisfied customers. Four point five stars overall.”

I held my hand to my mouth. “I’d hate to be the guy putting one star, admitting it didn’t work.”

“I’m sure those guys used pseudonyms.”

“So Tormenta’s goons bought some SizErect.”

“Right. Because the system thought they were Tobiah, he was able to get their credit card information. The gangsters didn’t charge Tobiah—they were honest about their impotence. Right now he’s tracking the card’s usage. It was used once at a gas station in Payson, the biggest town close to where he was hiding a few days ago. We doubt he’s at the same hideout, although he’s got them all over. But if nothing pings before noon tomorrow, we’ll go back up there.”

I sat back in my chair and admired him. “Makes sense.” My heart actually swelled in my chest, causing me pain, I was so full of love for Zane Saxonberg. I’d never dated a guy who was brave enough to storm a major cartel kingpin’s hideout. Baldy Avery was a small-time hoodlum back in high school, and he hadn’t gotten much farther lately, either. If he couldn’t shoot his adversary, he’d run. I just knew it. And Roscoe didn’t even pretend to be a hoodlum. He was a cable guy. Yes, a cable guy. Thinking on it now, I couldn’t believe I had ever hooked up with him. I still hadn’t heard from him, but I cared less and less. He hadn’t even given me the satisfaction of breaking up with him.

Yes, Sax was damaged goods, but not in a bad way. He was vulnerable. His feelings were so close to the surface they sometimes bubbled over, but that was a good thing. I felt I’d always know where I stood with him. He was a good man trying to do the right thing.

“Tobiah said he’s got an even better tactic to use the next time. I dread what the hell it could be.”

“A rocket-propelled grenade launcher?”

“Sarin gas? Actually, Wolf’s got the tactical smoke grenades covered. Anything that slightly sounds like something a cop would use, he’s on it.”

I grinned. “And he’d
say
that, too. ‘I’m on it.’ Like they do in cop shows.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that in real life, but Wolf Glaser does all the time. I think Ford’s getting some kind of retribution on me, or I did something to him in a past life, but he’s really out to get me, sticking me with Wolf Glaser.”

“He’s harmless. Wait, I don’t mean against the enemy. I think he can be pretty bloodthirsty against the enemy.”

“That’s what’s scary about him. I’ve seen gung-ho guys like him before. Sure, they’re effective killing machines. But it’s the
way
Wolf goes about it that’s frightening. He just seems gleeful, like a kid playing video games, like it’s not real.”

“Yes, he’s definitely got that unreal sense about him. Like he’s just a 3D participant in everything going on around him, and nothing he does has any effect on anyone.”

“Let me refill your wine. Polish this bottle.”

Sax obviously didn’t want to discuss Wolf anymore. He seemed to have something else on his mind as he handed me my glass. He stood, indicating I should follow him to the outside deck, where a clearing of blonde buffalo grass swished quietly in the early evening breeze. I doubted he wanted to admire the view, and I was right.

“Bee. I wanted to ask you about the abbey in Colorado. Seems like everyone other than me knows why you left.”

“You’re not going to ask me why I joined to begin with?”

He cracked a smile. “I presume you felt the calling.” He added ominously, “If I can understand these things, I think I can cut loose those other women.” He was bribing me. It worked.

“Yes. I enjoyed the ceremony, the rituals, the formalities. I gave up my desire to marry and married Jesus instead. You have to understand I thought it would last a lifetime, Zane. Otherwise I never would’ve made it as far as novitiate. Giving up everything and allowing ritual to take over absolved me of all responsibility for my life. It was a giant burden off of me. I saw how God was with me every moment of every day.”

“But you don’t anymore.” He seemed to want to skip past the God part. But I guess I would rather have talked about anything other than why I left the convent.

I looked at my hands. There was no getting out of this one. “No. I’m completely chagrined with their hypocrisy. The sisters were sneaking booze and popping pills right and left, but they dared to point the finger at me.”

“Because…”

I flashed Sax a look of irritation. I didn’t like telling this story. I’d do anything to avoid telling this story. But he was dangling the hope of giving up those sluts. I believed he’d do it, too. He’d given me the
PROPERTY
patch—Maddy and I had raced right out to find me a jean jacket to iron it onto. Maddy was looking into having a company make me a matching “SAX” patch. He’d given me a glimpse of the bejeweled collar he’d been ready to give me, if only I hadn’t been so demanding. The least I could fucking do was to fucking tell him the fucking story about the convent.

I spoke all in a rush. “Because I got knocked up by the same boy I dated in high school.”
There
. I said it. Not even Brenda or Cassie knew that about me. I’d fucking gotten pregnant
while studying to take my first vows at a convent
. There. How much worse of a person could I be? Could I possibly be any sluttier? I called Sax’s subs “sluts,” well shouldn’t he who is without sin cast the first stone?
I
was the god damned slut,
I
was the fucking whore who had run from Baldy, then run right back
to
him when he rode into Boulder on his Harley. Well, the sisters had every
right
to point fingers at me! What I did was
much
worse than sneak a little brandy here and there, or take some prescription pain pills. That was just my feeble attempt to take the focus off myself.

Sax put his hands out patiently. “Wait. You became
pregnant
while living at the abbey? Aren’t novitiates supposed to—”

“Yes, become married to Jesus, yes, yes. I screwed up, Zane! After years of discernment, I gave up all my possessions and committed to poverty, obedience, and
chastity
. Well, I didn’t follow through on that very well, did I?” My hands flew to my face. “
God!
I’ve been the worst sort of hypocrite!”

Sax’s large warm hands were on my bare shoulders. I had sexed things up a bit tonight in celebration of my first invitation to his house, and I wore a strappy dress of Madison’s that was too large in the bosom. “Bee, Bee. Anyone can make that sort of fuck-up. You don’t think I fucked up when Leo booted me out of Flagstaff? I’m sure you’ve wondered why I was kicked out to roam the highways for ten years. It can fucking happen to anyone.”

Well, yes, I
had
wondered what sort of dark family secret lurked between those two. I had heard about the showdown out in the parking lot while I was up in the game room dealing with my sub-drop after our intense scene. Wolf Glaser had gone streaking down there to get the story, and he’d raced back up to gleefully tell everyone how Sax had punched Leo one to the jaw after accusing him of being a snitch. That was a heavy accusation, and no doubt Sax would never be allowed near the Flagstaff clubhouse again, although a lot of brothers were in agreement with him. Seems most everyone imagined Leo couldn’t hold his mud.

But I didn’t want Sax to think I was changing the subject. I knew this had to come out eventually. All the better if Sax was the first one I told. I took my hands from my face and breathed deeply. “Baldy. Don’t laugh at the name. He was a member of The Dotards”—Sax nodded, probably knowing one of The Bare Bones’ nemesis clubs—“and, well, I just couldn’t resist him. I’ve always had a weakness for bad boys.”

He smiled. “Obviously.”

“So he used me and callously dumped me in high school. That was one of the reasons I became a postulant. I knew I couldn’t bear that sort of pain again. I was sacrificing a lot, which was good, because I really
wanted
to marry and have kids. If you don’t want that to begin with, you’re not giving up much, are you? So over the years the pain faded. Then Baldy rode into town again. I managed to hook up with him a few times in his hotel room before”—I choked on my laugh—“he rode off again and never got ahold of me, not once, ever again.”

Sax snorted. “Sounds like a heck of a guy.”

“Oh, just a regular jewel. But you know how you can’t help who you’re attracted to? Is it my destiny to forever be attracted to the bad ones?”

“I’m not that bad. Am I?”

I laughed through my tears. “Of course you are. You’re bad to the bone. Look what you did to me in the game room, you bastard! Forcing me to sit on your face and come all over you? Dear God, I’m still recovering from that. No, I haven’t finished telling you the story. I could’ve gotten an abortion and lived in penance the rest of my life. No one would ever be the wiser. But I couldn’t bring myself to do that, so I…”

Sax seemed surprised by this part. “You gave birth.”

“Yes. There was a section in the abbey anyway for unwed mothers, so I just moved over there, with the knowledge that I’d never be allowed back into my habit, that I’d never be part of their club again.”

“So you became part of a better club.”

I knew Sax was really dying to know the answer to the big question. I put him out of his misery by getting it over with—quick and painful, like tearing off a bandage. “I had the child and gave him up for adoption.”