Haunted (Wolf Lake) (5 page)

It didn’t matter.  There had been enough empty beer bottles down at Wolf Lake to convince investigators that he’d been good and drunk.

Amelia didn’t fault him for that – at least not on the good days.  She just hoped his state of inebriation had made his demise less frightening.  She hoped he hadn’t felt any pain. 

How could she blame him for getting drunk and losing his life?  After all, she was the reason he’d been drinking alone at the lake that hot, humid night last summer.
  It was all her fault.

Up ahead of her, Amelia could see the water of the lake gleaming in the moonlight.  Fog rose up off of it in an eerie manner.  She looked around.  The place was deserted.

“H – hello?” she called, feeling stupid for going out to the lake alone.  Was she seriously expecting her dead husband to show up? 
Hi honey, I’m home!
  What an idiot.  If anything, she was probably going to be dismembered by a psychopath who thought it was funny to torment mourning widows by impersonating dead people.

No one answered Amelia’s call. 

Clutching the lamp tightly in her hand, she was all set to turn around and go back to the cabin – but now that she stood at the edge of the lake, she felt compelled to pay her respects.  Or maybe she wanted to rage at the lake and unleash her pent-up fury on it.  It had killed her husband.

“
I
killed him,” Amelia whispered aloud, her confession breaking through the silence of the forest.  “I’m the reason he’s dead.”

She walked to the edge of the water and looked out across the lake.  Jake had been a good swimmer.  She’d never quite been able to understand how he’d drowned out there.  Even if he was angry with her, she couldn’t imagine he’d get so drunk that he’d lose all coordination and sink to the bottom of the lake like a stone.  That didn’t seem like him at all.

She dipped a toe into the water.  It felt cool against her heated flesh.  It seemed wrong that such an inviting, beautiful lake held such dark secrets and had inflicted so much pain on her. 

Part of her wanted to walk out into the water and die the same watery death her husband had.

“Amelia,” a voice whispered through the fog.  “You came.”

Amelia felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up.  Her eyes darted around nervously.  “Where are you?” she demanded, straining to see through the fog.

“I’m right here beside you,” the voice that sounded an awful lot like Jake’s assured her.  “Don’t be afraid.  I’d never hurt you, Sweetheart.”

Her breath caught in her throat.  “How do I know it’s you?” she demanded.  Her guard was still up and she still clutched the lamp tightly in her fist.  It was too strange to be true, yet she desperately wanted it to really be him.

“Ask me anything.  Ask me something only I would know.”

Amelia thought for a moment.  “What’s special about the last New Year’s Eve we spent together?” she asked, not expecting to get the correct answer.

There was a pause and a twinge of regret in his voice.  “We decided to start trying for baby that night,” he replied. 

She could have fallen over.  Never in a million years did she expect to get that response. 

It was something no one else could have possibly known. 

They’d opted to spend a quiet night at home in front of the fire instead of going out with friends.  They’d reflected on the past year and had talked about their hopes and dreams for the future.
  Then they’d decided the time was right; they were ready to start a family.

Amelia made Jake promise not to tell anyone they were trying.  She’d seen the heartache her cousin had suffered after miscarrying, when well-meaning people had unknowingly asked painful questions.  She’d
also been glad to avoid the barrage of teasing and “helpful” baby-making advice, particularly when she and Jake hadn’t been able to get pregnant.

She believed with all her heart that Jake wouldn’t have told anyone they were trying.

But she asked a second question just to be sure.

“
What was our last fight about?” she asked in a trembling voice.

“
Socks,” he replied without hesitation.  “I mean, maybe it went deeper than that and I probably should have helped out with the housework more but…on the surface of it, our fight was about me leaving my socks on the floor in the middle of the bedroom…sorry ‘bout that.”

Amelia’s shoulders heaved.  No one else would have known that. 
After that explosive argument that had escalated too much too fast, he’d taken off.  Jake had left in such a hurry that he’d forgotten his cell phone on the nightstand beside the bed.  He’d driven straight to the cabin, stopping only to buy a few packs of beer. 

“Amelia,” he said gently, “It wasn’t your fault.”

She began to cry.  “How can it be you?” she sobbed.  “I want to see you.”

“It doesn’t work that way in the afterlife, Sweetheart.  I’m with you all the time.  Those first few days when you could barely get out of bed?  I didn’t leave your side.  I crawled into bed beside you and tried to hold you but my arms went right through you.  I’m sorry for putting you through all that, Amelia.”

“You mean I can’t see you?” she bawled, unable to fully comprehend what Jake was saying.

“No.  I mean, if you stare into the water you might see a glimmer of my re
flection,” he said.  “Sometimes you might even think you see my reflection behind you for an instant when you look the mirror.  But I can’t touch you or hold you or kiss you.  God,” he said, his voice cracking, “I want to kiss you so bad right now.”

“Why haven’t you ever talked to me before?” she asked, feeling hurt as she struggled to regain her composure.  “It’s been over a year, Jake.  If you’ve been with me all along the way you say, then why didn’t you tell me you were there?”

“I tried, Sweetheart.  God, I tried more times than I can count.  I’d scream until my voice was hoarse and raw.  Sometimes you’d turn and look my way and I’d be sure you’d finally heard me.  But you never did.  Sometimes at night when you’re sleeping I can get through to you for a few seconds, I think because your walls come down when you’re dreaming.  But it’s never long enough.”

So Jake really had been visiting her in her dreams.  “I know,” Amelia sniffled
as she thought of those brief, precious nighttime visits.  “It’s never long enough.”  Then she asked, “Why can I hear you now if I couldn’t before?”

“My presence is stronger here
,” Jake explained.  “Wolf Lake is where I died…and it’s where I
lived
, too.  I visit you no matter where you are, but my calling now is to be here at the lake.  I’ve been waiting so long for you to come here.”

“I’m sorry.  I wanted to.  I thought about it so many times, but it was so painful…”  She wrapped her arms around herself tightly, wishing they were Jake’s instead.  “I miss you so much, Jake.  I’m so sorry for –”

“Shhh.  Don’t, Sweetheart.  Don’t apologize.  Don’t beat yourself up any more.  It wasn’t your fault.  Every couple fights.  We both said horrible things to each other that night, but I never doubted for a moment that you loved me and I never stopped being crazy about you for a second.  I just needed some time away to cool off so I came out here and…”

“And drank yourself into a stupor?” she demanded. 

Amelia didn’t know what was wrong with her.  She was getting the chance most people can only dream about – the opportunity to speak with her dead husband.  Yet all she was doing was getting angry at him.  She didn’t understand.  Maybe it was simply easier to be furious than heartbroken.

“Amelia.”

“They didn’t find your body for
two days
, Jake! 
Two days
!  Do you know what that was like for me, waiting by the phone and worrying and hoping you’d walk in the door?  Then…then I got that phone call,” she spat, her blood boiling.  “They told me you were dead, Jake.  You’d drowned in the lake, they said.  My idiot husband got drunk and decided to go swimming.”

She threw the lamp into the lake with as much force as she could muster.  Water splashed up viol
ently and a loon that had been sleeping on the water a few meters away flew away, startled. 

“Amelia,” he said more forcefully.  “Listen to me.”

“No!” she interrupted.  “You listen to me!  Do you know what it was like to have to break the news to your parents that their son was dead?  Do you know what it was like to see the expressions of grief and sorrow on their faces and know that I was breaking their hearts by telling them?”

He was quiet for a moment.  “I’m sorry you had to do that.”

“Jake.”  Her voice was a whisper now, all the rage drained out of her.  She felt small and defeated, standing out there staring at a massive lake and talking to an invisible ghost.  “Did you do it on purpose?” 

They were the words she’d never dared utter aloud before. 
Jake’s death had been ruled an accident, but she’d never been able to completely silence the tiny voice in the back of her head that wondered if Jake’s death had been a suicide. 

“What?”

“I told you I hated you,” Amelia reminded him, despising having to relive the awful things she’d screamed at him.  “I told you not to bother coming home and then…then you didn’t.”

She heard him sigh.  “Sweetheart, I said things I regret, too.  We were both angry.  And no, my death was an accident.  It was muggy out that night and I needed to cool off.  I dove into the lake for a swim, but my foot got tangled on some seaweed and I couldn’t get loose.”

A whoosh of air escaped Amelia’s lungs.  She hadn’t even noticed that she was holding her breath.  “That must have been awful for you,” she said sadly, simultaneously horrified and relieved to learn of her husband’s last moments of life.

“
It was quick,” he assured her.  “Death isn’t so bad…but God I hated leaving you, Sweetheart.”

“I wish I could hug you.”

He hesitated.  “There’s a way you can, if you want.”

“Of course I want to – how?”

“I was there listening when Harold was telling you about the legend of Wolf Lake,” Jake told her.  “It’s true, what people say.  We, the dead, do come back, rising up from the mist.  I’m the most energized at night, which is why I’m able to talk to you.  My voice is at its loudest and strongest while the moon is rising.  But once it reaches its peak, well…”

“What?”

“I change into a wolf.”

Amelia blinked. 
She had a million questions.  “So you’re sort of like…a werewolf?”

Jake laughed.  “Yeah, something like that I guess.”

It had been so long since she’d heard that laugh.  She felt her heart skip a beat.  “That wolf I keep seeing…?”

“It’s me
,” he affirmed.  “I tried to tell you in a dream but I think we got our wires crossed.  I’m sorry for scaring you.  I was only trying to protect you.”

Amelia looked up at the sky.  It was a full moon.  “You can really take the form of a wolf?” she asked uncertainly.  The whole thing sounded too far-fetched to be real, but then again here she was standing in a lake talking to her dead husband. 

“Yeah,” he replied.  “It’s almost time for me to change.  I can’t seem to communicate when I’m in wolf form – it’s as though animal instinct takes over.  But you can get that hug if you want?”

“Yes,
” she told him without hesitation. 

Amelia stood there at the edge of the lake looking around uncertainly. 
It was completely dark out now, the moon her only source of light.  The crickets that had been chirping in the forest abruptly fell silent and the breeze suddenly died down.  She felt a shiver pass through her as she waited anxiously.

Then she saw the beautiful grey and white wolf emerge from the forest
next to her.  It was the same one she’d seen before.  Its brilliant green eyes focused intently on her as it walked toward her, stopping a few feet away.  It stared at her patiently, waiting.

Her reflex, of course, was to run.  How did she know it was Jake and not
an actual wolf?  It sure as hell
looked
like a wolf!  She wished she hadn’t thrown the lamp into the lake, just in case she needed it to fend it off. 

But she trusted Jake – dead or alive.

She stepped toward it apprehensively.  “Jake?” she asked softly, holding out her shaking hand.

The wolf stepped forward and licked her hand.

She sunk to her knees in front of it, her trembling legs no longer able to support her body.  “It’s really you!” she gasped, reaching for the magnificent beast.  She wrapped her arms around its muscular body and buried her face in its soft, shiny fur. 

It nuzzled her neck in response.

It obviously wasn’t quite the same as hugging her husband when he was in human form, but she could nonetheless feel
Jake everywhere.  His presence was so strong and felt so comforting.  It was overwhelming.

They remained like that for quite some time, the wolf shielding Amelia from the cold with its
sturdy, strong body.  She closed her eyes and listened to its heartbeat –
Jake’s heartbeat
.  It was almost like he was alive again.  She didn’t dare move lest the moment be lost.