Haunted Ever After (12 page)

‘Now that’s what I like to see, enthusiasm for my initiative.’ Lorena placed the parcel on the floor in front of me and tried to kiss my forehead, but couldn’t bend enough to reach me so sounded a ‘mwah!’ instead.

Lorena sat on the velvet couch with her iPhone and played some music:
The Wedding March
. She really should leave retail management and go into event management, the woman thought of every little detail.

Mel and Georgie sat on the floor too, in as much of a circle as three people could manage.

‘But you won’t get any gifts, Lorena,’ I said.

‘I know what they all are anyway.’

‘But still, how can we play so that you get to keep some pressies too?’

‘I’ll take her spot!’ Red exclaimed, leaping onto the floor and sitting between myself and Georgie.

I shuffled a little closer to Georgie to try and nudge her away, then gestured to the gap between Mel and I. ‘Why don’t we pretend you’re here, and place the parcel on the floor during the game. If the music stops before Mel or I get to pick it up then that means you get to open one of the layers?’

‘Umm…’ Lorena didn’t seem overly fussed about playing. Maybe the gifts weren’t that great, perhaps only two-dollar lipsticks and other little novelties. I looked at her luscious fuchsia lips and realised that nope, she wouldn’t stoop to cheap gifts.

‘Yeah, but you have to turn away when you play the music so you can’t see who has the parcel when the music stops,’ Mel instructed.

‘Alright then. I officially declare that spot of rug to be my proxy.’ She pointed, and when Red looked like she was about to jump over there I glared at her. She pouted and crossed her arms.

I accepted a slice of Turkish bread covered with marinated feta and roasted red peppers, and gulped it down. I passed the parcel to the invisible ‘Lorena’ then Mel picked it up and passed it to Georgie, then Georgie passed it to me. The situation repeated, until the music stopped when the parcel was in my hands.

‘Perfect timing, Lorena!’ Mel said. ‘Bride-to-be gets first gift.’

I wriggled in anticipation and unwrapped the first layer, revealing a lavender eye pillow. ‘Oh, how nice! Thanks,’ I said, placing the pillow over my eyes as I leaned back a little. ‘I might have to have a nanna nap before dinner so I can try it out.’ And maybe it would stop me seeing Red for a while. I rested it on my leg and as the music resumed I passed the parcel again. Next was Georgie who got a decorative metal bookmark, then me again with a small sachet of heart-shaped chocolates.

‘I’ll swap you,’ Mel said.

‘But you don’t have anything to swap,’ I replied.

‘Exactly.’

I chuckled and handed her a chocolate, which she wolfed down in one hit. Eventually the music stopped on her turn and she got a small pocket book called
Ten Steps to Happiness in Love
by a Dr Reginald Bloomschneider.

‘With a name like that, he must have women falling at his feet,’ she joked, flipping through the book and forgetting to pass the parcel. ‘Oops, sorry! I’ll read this tonight. Wonder if it advises having no more than three kids.’ She laughed, as she always did, about anything to do with serious issues. I wondered if she truly was happy with her marriage. Was she just being lighthearted about it or did she really have some concerns? I made a mental note to catch up with her after the wedding, just the two of us, to find out how things were
really
going.

Lorena finally got a gift; a pair of dangly earrings, which I was glad about because they weren’t something I would wear. When the music stopped again with the parcel in my hands, I wondered what other treats she had hidden in this bundle of generosity.

I pulled out a slip of paper and read it:

This voucher is for one truth or dare
.

I glanced up at Lorena with inquisitive eyes. She shot me a knowing look. ‘Truth or dare?’

I nodded.

‘Oooh, goodie!’ said Mel. ‘So which one do you want: truth or dare?’

‘Hang on, let’s save up the truth or dare’s till the parcel is all unwrapped,’ said Lorena.

‘You mean there are more of them?’ I asked.

‘Yep.’

‘I’m up for that,’ Georgie said. ‘Already spilled my guts to you yesterday about my sex life, why stop now?’

But she never got a truth or dare. By the time the game was complete the four vouchers had been received only by Mel and I, two each. Maybe we could do one truth and one dare. The other gifts shared between us were a heart-shaped silver photo frame (which I would put a wedding photo in), a sachet of gummy bears (which now ceased to exist thanks to Mel’s appetite), and various accessories and novelty items. Oh, and a twenty-five percent discount voucher for an online ‘adult’ store, which Mel placed next to her on the floor and smiled at.

‘Damn, and I was hoping I’d get that one,’ said Lorena with a wink.

Apart from the truth or dare vouchers, which were causing an uncomfortable, nervous sensation in my chest, I was quite impressed with my loot. ‘You’ve really put a lot of thought into this, Lorena.’ I stood and gave her a hug. ‘Thank you. The gifts are perfect.’

She smiled. ‘It was fun! I loved putting the parcel together. And it was good to get in some practise before my gorgeous girl is born.’ She patted her belly and smiled again, then her jaw dropped.

Mine did too. ‘You’re having a girl?’ I asked, eyes wide, my hands grasping one of hers.

She covered her mouth. ‘Oops.’

Mel whooped and Georgie placed her hand over her heart, and that, combined with Lorena’s expression which had morphed into something softer, something motherly, made tears pool at the back of my eyes. ‘A little girl! I’m so happy for you.’ I kissed her cheek and hugged her again, and Lorena wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

‘Please don’t tell anyone, we agreed to keep it secret until the birth. My parents don’t even know.’

I formed a cross over my heart with my finger. ‘Secret’s safe with me.’ I was used to keeping things confidential; it was second nature, and a legal requirement of my job.

‘Don’t worry, hun,’ said Mel. ‘What happens in Barron Springs…’

‘Stays in Barron Springs!’ we chorused, then collapsed into a group embrace on the couch with a glossy-eyed Lorena.

* * *

‘Okay, enough, girls, I believe we have some truth or dares to get through?’ Lorena ushered us away and we each took a seat, me next to Lorena on the velvet couch, Mel sprawled on the rug, and Georgie in the armchair.

‘You go first, Mel,’ I said. ‘Truth or dare?’

‘Well it looks like I have to do both anyway, but let’s get the ball rolling with a dare.’

Mel and I were opposites; I’d rather start with truth. I’m an honest person, so that wouldn’t be a problem. Except for the little white lie about what the palm reader told me. Oh, and if they asked me if I’d ever seen a ghost, I was screwed.

I racked my brain for a suitable dare, one that would be a bit challenging, or embarrassing even, but not in a totally life-ruining way. I considered telling her to put a cushion down her top and walk down the street and pretend she was pregnant, then go into fake labour in front of people, but that could be tricky if someone called an ambulance. Then again, being a nurse, I could always say I’d take her to hospital and assist her on the way, or deliver the baby myself. Nah, better to do something here, something we didn’t have to leave the house for. There’d been enough public excitement for one day.

The pink voucher lying on the floor next to Mel caught my eye, and my mouth curled up at the corner. I whipped out my phone and typed in the website of the adult store.
Aha! Perfect
.

Mel eyed me curiously. ‘Do you want me to order something with my discount voucher now, is that it? Because I can do that, no problem.’

‘Not exactly. I want you to call customer service and ask them to explain the difference between some of the products so they can help you select the um, toy, or whatever those things are, that’s right for you.’ I nodded in satisfaction and handed her my phone. Then I pulled it back. ‘Actually, better use your own phone, in case they track phone numbers or something and try to call me with special offers.’

Mel took a deep breath and Lorena and Georgie egged her on, chanting, ‘Do it, do it, do it!’ with Red joining in too, as though she thought she was one of the girls. I was even starting to get used to having her around, and she was behaving a little better at the moment.

‘But it’s Saturday, they’re probably closed.’

I shook my head. ‘Customer service open nine to five, seven days a week.’ I handed her my phone so she could see the website.

‘Okay, I can do this. Sure thing.’ But she looked a little nervous and scrolled through the website on my phone so she could prepare herself. Every now and again she’d chuckle, or gasp, or laugh out loud at whatever she was coming across on the site. She rested my phone on one of her crossed legs as she sat on the floor, and held her phone to her ear. She cleared her throat and dialled the number.

‘Ah, yes, good morning. I mean good afternoon,’ she said, and I wished I’d asked her to put it on speakerphone so we could hear the other side of the conversation. ‘Yes I would like some help actually. I’m trying to um, choose a…product. Could you let me know what the difference is between The Enhancer and The Illuminator?’ She held back a grin as she listened to the voice on the other end. ‘Oh, I see. So The Illuminator is an advanced version of The Enhancer?’ She waited. ‘It has what?’ Mel’s eyes bulged and she covered her mouth with one hand to restrain a laugh. ‘So it actually lights up and plays music when it detects heightened sensitivity?’

My jaw dropped open and Lorena was silent-laughing and slapping her thigh.

Mel cleared her throat again. ‘And it glows in the dark? Wow, so that’s how it gets its name then.’ She smirked. ‘But the cost, I mean, it’s not exactly cheap, how do I know I’m getting my money’s worth?’ Georgie clapped her hands towards Mel, quietly, applauding her inquisition. ‘I take it you can’t exchange it for something else?’ More waiting. ‘Oh, so you do have a satisfaction guarantee? How does that work?’

My torso trembled in giggles as she spoke, it was as though we were teenagers and she was making a prank call to a boy she liked.

‘So you refund my money within fourteen days if I’m…unsatisfied. What happens to the item?’ We perched forwards, waiting for each development in the conversation. ‘Melted down, sanitised, and recycled? Wow. Talk about environmentally friendly.’ Mel was enjoying this now; she’d relaxed back on one hand. ‘Is that so?’ she continued. ‘A bonus instructional DVD? That
is
a good deal.’ She glanced at us and smiled. ‘Um, well I’m not one hundred percent sure I want to order yet, I may need to do some more research… What’s that? Put me through to a recording of testimonials from satisfied customers?’

No way. Who would be prepared to do such a thing? The company must have paid them big bucks.

‘Okay then, sure. Go ahead.’ Mel pressed speakerphone and we listened as a woman’s voice talked about her experience and mentioned things like ‘most prized possession’, ‘better than having a husband’, and ‘my inner goddess has been illuminated’. Her tone was like a normal, everyday, super-happy woman, like those cheesy ones on TV commercials for laundry detergent where they smile and glow as though their life’s purpose has been fulfilled because their whites are whiter than ever.

After listening to a couple more testimonials, I couldn’t bear to hear the words ‘inner goddess’ or ‘illuminate’ again, and Mel ended the call and collapsed in hysterics. ‘Oh Sal, that was a blast!’ She slapped her thigh. ‘You should have heard her explaining the science and mechanics behind it, as though she was telling me how a new vacuum cleaner worked. To be honest, she spoke so methodically I can’t even be sure she was human.’ She laughed and snorted. ‘Maybe she’s really a robot, made of the same technology and recycled plastic and metal. Probably has her own in-built Illuminator!’

Lorena’s laughs were audible now, as were all of ours, and as laughter filled the room, tears ran down our faces, and I reached out and high-fived Mel for her efforts. Red raised her hand for a high-five too, and I went to reciprocate. Lorena furrowed her brow between laughs.

‘Oh, I thought you were about to put your hand up,’ I falsely confessed. ‘My bad.’

‘Here, hun,’ she said, holding up her hand. I high-fived it and snuck another warning glance at Red. She knew how to catch me off guard and I couldn’t let her get in the way of my hen’s weekend with my wonderful, supportive, comfort-zone-busting friends.

‘Great dare, Sal, how about yours now?’ Georgie asked, having recovered from laughing and now digging in to the antipasto.

Damn, with all the laughs I’d forgotten I hadn’t had my turn yet. ‘I think I’ll go for a truth first,’ I said, though I was only delaying the inevitable.

‘Okay, okay, time to think,’ Mel said, wiping tears of laughter from her red face and shuffling on the floor to get comfortable. ‘Truth time, baby.’

I raised my eyebrows in waiting.

‘Rightio, got one.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Have you ever felt unprofessionally attracted to a male patient in your care?’

I thought for a millisecond and shook my head. ‘No.’
Gee, that was easy
.

‘C’mon, Sal, think carefully. You’ve seen hundreds of patients, done countless examinations, administered tons of treatments, there has to have been the odd good-looker. Think!’

I thought. After years of nursing, everything sort of blurs together — time, experiences, and patients. It’s hard to remember exact details. Sometimes I see people in the street who look vaguely familiar and I wonder if I’ve nursed them and forgotten. Had I been doing this too long, become too detached, that I was starting to forget people and see them as just another patient? I hoped not. I liked to treat each as an individual and get to know them a little, so I could help them feel at ease and recover as quickly as possible. Like that forty-year-old man I nursed back to health after he’d broken bones in a motorbike accident. He was in top form, and I could still remember the firmness of his muscles as I tried to find good veins on his tattooed arms. Oh, and there was that nice young swimmer in for an infection who required IV antibiotics back when I’d started nursing. He was always smiling despite the fact he must have felt like death warmed up, and he always had a compliment for me. Oh yes,
him
. Him with his soft, green eyes, his gentle smile, his…