Haunted (19 page)

The blue water, the Grenshire pool, the lanes defined by bobbing buoys, shouts of kids echoing off the high ceiling . . .

I pulled myself back. I had to see this through.

Why was I lying to Tabby? I wasn't saying good-bye forever. How hard would it be for me to tell her—and only her—the truth? She could handle it better than Mom and Steven.

I came back to the living room to the pure, loud melee of Tabby's tantrum, and Mom and Steven's bewildered, confused attempts to control it.

“Okay, Tabby, here's what's going to happen,” I said, squatting down next to her. “You can sense me. They can't. I'll keep coming to see you . . . but Mom and Steven can't know.”

She stopped sobbing abruptly.

“It hurts them too much to know I'm here,” I said. “I'll explain it better when you're older. But you'll still sense me, Tabby. I'll still be here.”

“Okay,” she said. She ran her fist under her nose to wipe away the gunk.

“What's okay?” asked Mom. “Tell us what she said.”

“Phee go bye,” said Tabby.

My eyes narrowed. Toddlers tell lies! They do!

I walked around the room, bending to give kisses to each of them. Only Tabby raised her head for hers.

“All right,” I said. “We should go.”

“Good-bye, my sweet, my love, my girl. My firstborn,” said Mom.

“Good-bye, my mom, my love, the person I love best in the whole world,” I said. She didn't hear me, but on her face I saw the smallest indication of a smile. She'd known that in the pause after she spoke, I would have said some loving words in return.

“Good-bye, dear Phoebe,” said Steven. “I love you as if you were my own daughter.”

“You, too, Steven. And in every way that matters, you
are
my dad,” I said.

“Bye,” said Tabby offhandedly when it was her turn. She was already okay with the idea, knowing I'd be back.

“You're special,” I told her. “I protected you from Madame Arnaud, and I'll protect you as best I can in the years to come.”

Eleanor and Miles came to me. “You did very well,” Eleanor said to me.

“You did
great,
” said Miles.

With our arms intertangled in one another's, in a triad of a hug, we left. For now.

We left as my mom's skin burned from all her hot tears, and she took ragged breaths to calm herself down, alternating between fresh tears and huge, tremulous smiles of incredulity. We left as Steven replayed the entire disjointed conversation in his mind, dissecting it like a scientist. There'd be many, many discussions in the future, with he and Mom polishing the words that traveled from my mouth to Tabby's, remembering them, savoring them. Figuring them out. My last glance, however, was for Tabby, sitting back down to her puzzle with all the nonchalance of infancy.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Thanks for a wide variety of reasons to Alan Howard, Jenny Phillips, Nikisha Vashee, Abby Heiser, Joe Quirk, Ki Longfellow, Traci Foust, Jessy and Deborah Krant and Tamim Ansary, Cinda Meister and Brad Jones, Kelly Young, Marly Rusoff and Michael Radulescu, Julie Mosow, Ariana Rosado-Fernández, James Davie, Kathryn L. Rizqallah, Susan Spann, Jenny D. Williams, Alison McMahan, and Michelle Gagnon. Sometimes you are lucky enough to make a writing friend who will read your novel not just once or twice, but
three
times: huge thanks to Jordan Rosenfeld. Finally, thanks to Michaela Hamilton, Randie Lipkin, and the wonderful team at Kensington.

Don't miss the next novel in the Arnaud Legacy series
by Lynn Carthage

Coming from Kensington in 2016!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

L
YNN
C
ARTHAGE
is the pseudonym of an acclaimed fiction writer who has been a Yaddo fellow and a Bram Stoker Award finalist. She lives in California and teaches novel writing. Her website is
www.lynncarthage.com
.

KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by

Kensington Publishing Corp.
119 West 40th Street
New York, NY 10018

 

Copyright © 2015 Erika Mailman

 

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

 

KENSINGTON and the K logo are Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.

ISBN: 978-1-6177-3626-1

 

First Trade Paperback Printing: March 2015

 

 

First electronic edition: March 2015

ISBN-13: 978-1-61773-629-2
ISBN-10: 1-61773-629-5