Harvest of Hearts (14 page)

How awkward. What would Levi think about this latest indication of his interest in Shanna? Would he make efforts to keep them separate, or would he “discover” opportunities to put them together?

Matthew hoped for the latter, even as he feared it. Too little effort was required to fall in love with Shanna Stoltzfus.

***

Shanna’s breathing was still a bit erratic as she set the bowl of cookie dough aside and went to the cupboard to retrieve five white bowls and salad plates for lunch. Mamm had guided her through preparing her creamy broccoli soup, which still simmered on the stove. Shanna fretted over how it would taste. Would Matthew like it?

It didn’t matter if he did or didn’t. Her cooking skills, or the lack thereof, would mean nothing to him.

He probably hadn’t even noticed his body pressing up against hers, so close that she could feel his heartbeat. Or maybe the thundering pulse had been her own, in response to his nearness. It’d taken a huge effort to keep from turning into his arms. Only the fact that they hadn’t been alone had kept her from doing so.

Mamm began slicing the still-warm loaf of bread on the cutting board. Daed left the room for a moment, while Joseph collected the silverware. “Don’t know what you have been doing all day, leaving me to do women’s work,” he complained good-naturedly.

“How can I help?” Matthew seemed to take his cue from Joseph.

Shanna was glad for the assistance. Mamm had been baking all day to get ready for the sale tomorrow, and Shanna had jumped into the fray when she’d come inside after the disturbing encounters with Matthew and then Daed, followed by the peaceful time of prayer with Matthew.

Her face heated as she recalled how she’d brazenly tempted Matthew by suggesting they make out. What must he think of her? It was fortunate that he hadn’t taken her up on her entirely too forward comment. Of course, his refusal also made it clear that any attraction between them was one-sided. If he were interested in her, he would have….

Then again, he belonged to the church. He held to more traditional values than the world she’d embraced when she’d run away from home.

It was probably a good thing she hadn’t thrown herself into his arms moments ago. He wouldn’t have known what to do with her. Or would he? Her mind flashed back to the awkward hug after her accident, mere days ago.

Deborah looked up at Matthew. “You can get the butter from the refrigerator, if you’d like.”

“Get the cheese, too, please,” Shanna added. “I need to shred some.” She reached for a stainless-steel grater, but her senses screamed with Matthew’s every move. He wouldn’t marry outside the faith. But why couldn’t he be interested in her?

If only she could have it both ways.

Joseph left the room and returned shortly with canning jars full of jam, chowchow, and fruit. Matthew also returned with his arms loaded. He handed the cheese to Shanna, then placed the butter in the middle of the table.

“Sorry we didn’t have lunch ready for you. We didn’t notice the truck leave.” Shanna opened the package of cheese, laid the plastic wrapper on the table, and started grating the cheese into a bowl. “Do you still order your cheese from Mary-Beth Schmidt?” She glanced over at Mamm.

Mamm placed the platter of bread on the table. “Jah. She said this one didn’t set up right, so she gave it to me. I don’t see anything wrong with it, but maybe she felt guilty for being nosy and asking so many questions about you.”

Shanna froze. “Me?”

“You have to know you’re what a lot of people talk about now.”

She supposed that was to be expected, yet the idea of others snooping on her family and asking questions because she’d come home for a couple of months hadn’t crossed her mind. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make things uncomfortable.” Not for her family. She’d never wanted to hurt them.

But she had to leave soon to return to school. And that would cause them even more pain.

She closed her eyes briefly but snapped them open again when she felt a soft touch on her arm.

Mamm pulled away. “We are glad you’re back, even if it’s for just a short while. If they want to know more, they can talk to you.”

No one would dare. The Amish she saw in town eyed her with distrust and kept their distance. As if her Englischness would rub off on them like a contagious disease.

Her eyes flickered to Matthew. He caught her gaze and held it as he moved closer. His focus shifted to her cheek and then to her mouth, but it immediately shot back up to her eyes, as if he thought he’d done something inappropriate. She was still recovering from that too-brief look when he reached over and grabbed a handful of shredded cheese.

“What’s gotten into you today?” Shanna pretended to glare at him. “Did you swallow a mischief pill or something?”

“Or something.” He winked and slid onto the bench next to Joseph as Daed entered the room. Matthew’s gray eyes sparkled up at her like the diamond earrings she’d seen once at the mall.

Space. She needed space. Shanna’s mind scrambled to find a new topic of conversation, one that wouldn’t involve Matthew or this sudden flirtatious trend that had flared up unexpectedly between them. Not that she didn’t like it. She did. Maybe too much. She turned to Mamm. “Is this a church Sunday coming up?”

“Jah. It’s at the Lapps’ haus.” Mamm put the kettle of soup on the table near Daed’s place. “The Zooks are hosting the singing, ain’t so?” She glanced at Joseph.

Joseph nodded, then looked at Shanna. “Want to ride over with me?”

She’d prefer to ride there and back with Matthew—and take the long way. But he didn’t seem inclined to ask. Then, she remembered that he’d even told her she’d have to ride with her brother. “Jah. Danki.”

“I’ll take you home, too, if need be. Just not right away, maybe.” Joseph blushed.

Shanna stared at him a moment before comprehension kicked in. Her younger brother was courting someone. Either that, or he was trying to work up the courage to begin doing so.

Shanna couldn’t imagine that anyone would ask her to ride home with him. Well, except for Matthew, maybe. It’d be nice, but unlikely. How awkward would it be to ride home perched on the buggy seat with Joseph’s girl squeezed in between them?

“Maybe it’d be best if I didn’t go.” Shanna tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice. She’d been looking forward to an outing with other young people. Pretending not to notice the buwe watching the girls as they walked into the building. Feeling the thrill of suspecting that a certain bu had his eye on her.

Guess that probably wouldn’t happen to her, though. She’d made the decision to jump the fence. Returning wasn’t in her immediate plans. Maybe not even in her future plans.

“You should go.” Daed folded his hands in front of him, indicating the conversation was finished, and it was time to ask God’s blessing on the meal. “Go and have fun. Don’t worry about how you’ll get home until the time comes.” He cleared his throat. “Shall we pray?”

***

When lunch was over, Matthew pushed his dishes away. He’d had three helpings of soup and two slices of warm wheat bread. “It was wunderbaar, Deborah.”

She smiled. “Shanna prepared the soup.”

Matthew glanced at Shanna and gave a nod of recognition. “Really gut.” He wished he could think of something else to say, but his forwardness had disappeared almost entirely once he’d realized her family had watched the flirtatious exchange and formed opinions. Not that any of them seemed to be opposed to the idea of him courting Shanna.

“Danki.” Shanna seemed equally shy. She avoided his gaze and dipped her head as she scooted out of the chair to collect the dishes. “Koffee?”

“Jah.” Matthew swallowed the lump in his throat.

Levi nudged his mug closer to the edge of the table. “I’d like some too, please.” He turned to Matthew. “What are your plans for this afternoon?”

“I made an appointment to go take a look at that ranch again. The realtor’s supposed to meet me there around three.”

Levi nodded. He’d already offered to come along and give his opinion, but Matthew didn’t think he wanted the older man there. At least, not yet. It would imply that he was serious about the property, an impression he wasn’t prepared to give right now. When he made his decision, or when he was close to making one, he would certainly value Levi’s opinion.

“I have some paperwork to do, so I’ll be working on that.” Levi stretched his legs out.

Shanna brought over the coffeepot and filled her daed’s mug, then Matthew’s when he held it out.

“If it’s okay, Daed, I thought I’d get some fishing in this afternoon.” Joseph shook his head when Shanna started to fill his mug. “Nein, danki.”

Matthew watched her place the coffeepot on the back of the stove and then begin piling dirty dishes in the sink.

He mustered up some courage. “Shanna, would you like to see the ranch?” He hoped she’d say “Jah.” At the same time, he expected a “Nein, danki.”

Levi set his mug down and turned in his seat. Matthew cringed under the sharp assessment. It reminded him of when he’d first arrived, accompanied by the bishop. The man seemed able to see clear into his soul.

He wanted to tell Levi he had nothing to worry about. But maybe he did.

His intentions toward Shanna? Undecided.

Until he did decide, he needed to keep their relationship at the friend level. That would be difficult. He wanted to push past that stage.

He looked in Shanna’s direction, watching the sway of her skirt as she scrubbed the dishes. Ach, why did she have to make it so clear she’d be leaving? That meant the decision had already been made.

He fought the disappointment that washed over him and opened his mouth to take back his invitation. She’d have no need to see the ranch. It would never be her home.

Levi picked up his mug and took another sip of coffee, apparently satisfied by whatever he’d seen in Matthew’s expression. Yet, which expression had satisfied him? Matthew’s wistful smile to think that Shanna might be the one for him? Or the frown of disappointment when the unlikelihood of that reality sank in?

“Actually, Shanna—”

Shanna turned away from the sink, wiping her hands on her black apron. “I have baking to do. Mamm needs me. Danki, anyway.”

“Do the baking when you get home,” Mamm said, picking up a dish towel and joining her at the sink. “It’ll keep. Or, I could have the girls help when they get home from school. We’ve nearly finished everything, so go and have fun. It helped to have both of us working. Danki.” She wrapped Shanna in a hug.

Matthew looked away. He pulled his watch out of his pocket and glanced at it. “I need to go. By the time I get the horse hitched up to the buggy and get out there, it’ll be time to meet the realtor.”

“I guess I can go. If you want, I’ll drive you.” Shanna came up beside him and touched his hand.

He looked up and to the side, not quite meeting her eyes. “Nein, we’ll take the buggy. I’ll get it ready.”

“Okay. That’ll give me time to finish the dishes and get the kitchen cleaned up. Danki for inviting me. I love going through houses. Sometimes, my girlfriend and I go to open houses in Springfield. It’s fun.”

Matthew blinked. “Fun” wasn’t at all how he would describe going through buildings. It was just a necessary step when one was looking to buy. “I’ll be right back. Give me a moment.”

Shanna waved him off, then scampered back across the room and plunged her hands into the soapy water in the sink.

For a few seconds, Matthew couldn’t stop watching her. He finally forced himself to turn and follow Levi out of the house.

“I’m willing to take a look anytime you want,” Levi reminded him, a hint of teasing in his tone, as if Matthew was courting Shanna and wouldn’t want him to intrude on their outing.

Matthew ignored the implication. “I know. I’m not sure I’m that serious about this particular piece of property.” He shrugged. “When I decide, I’ll certainly ask you to kum.”

Levi nodded and pulled a key out of his pocket. “I’ll see you later, then. You and Shanna have fun.”

Matthew couldn’t imagine being in Shanna’s company and not having a good time. Unless she became defensive about something. He’d do what he could to keep the conversation pleasant.