Harvest Moon (15 page)

“No,” she said as her hands shook. “I can’t. I just
can’t.”

As she cleaned up the mess she had made, Dawn tried to
figure out just what was keeping her from opening up to Jase. She knew she
didn’t want to tell him more, but was that for his protection, or hers?

She’d never admitted to anyone what her stepfather had
done to her for five years. She’d tried once with her mother, but that had
gotten her nowhere because she couldn’t admit the full truth. Even thinking it
made her stomach ache, and she couldn’t imagine saying the words aloud.

And what would happen if she told Jase? She had no
idea what they even were, but she could only picture him running away if she
did tell him the dirty details. Though she’d read enough about victim shaming
and how what had happened wasn’t her fault, it was still too much for her to
even attempt to get past the idea that she was damaged goods.

Will he want you after he knows?
a dark voice
in her mind hissed at her.
What man would? He’s just going to leave anyway,
so let him go.

Dawn hated that voice, the one that only came to call
when she was at her lowest. Yet the voice had a point. Jase was only sticking
around until he killed whatever it was that had killed the hikers. After that,
he was gone, and Dawn was starting to think maybe she should be, too. Jase was
only more trouble that she didn’t need.

But oh, how she wanted him. Just thinking of his lips
on her skin, how safe she felt in his arms; it was like a fantasy come to life,
and she couldn’t just toss that aside. Not yet, at least.

A quick glance at the clock above the stove let Dawn
know she was running out of time if she wanted to get to Jim’s to open. She
quickly tossed the broken glass in the trash before she hopped in the shower to
rinse off the remaining hints of the night she’d spent with Jase.

The cold was a little much on her still damp hair as
she stepped out into the chill of the day. Hints of snow were in the air, and
she knew it would be falling soon.

Maybe I should take off before it snows,
she
thought to herself as she made her way toward Jim’s.

Dawn had never spent a winter out of the snow, and she
was starting to wonder if this was the year to do it. Maybe she could head
toward New Orleans, or Mississippi, or something. Living on the road in the
winter was a harsh reality she’d faced twice now, and she wasn’t keen on a
third go of it.

“Hey,” a familiar voice broke through her train of
thought as she walked. Behind her, Gavin Mosley was jogging to catch up.
Despite the drop in temperature, he was only wearing a t-shirt, and she could
see the tension bandage wrapped around his bicep.

“Aren’t you cold?” she remarked.

“Nah, I run hot,” he said, smiling at her. There was
something about the way his hair flopped over his big brown eyes that reminded
her of an overly friendly puppy, and she couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“Haven’t seen you lately,” she said as he walked
alongside her.

“Been busy prepping the house for snow,” Gavin said.
“It’s taking a little longer than expected with a bum shoulder.”

“I’m not looking forward to that,” Dawn said as she
shivered for effect.

“Are you kiddin’?” Gavin said. “I can’t wait for snow!
I spent the last few years in Miami. It’ll be nice to throw some snowballs and
build a fort again.”

Dawn laughed with him. “Like a five-year-old?”

“You got me pegged,” Gavin said as he lightly bumped
her with his good shoulder.

As they walked, Dawn realized she was having trouble
remembering her distrust for the man who was at her side. Only a week ago,
she’d hated him more than she hated her own stepfather, but now he seemed like
an old, familiar friend. It was a weird shift, but not an unwelcome one.

“I don’t know,” Dawn said as she looked up at the gray
clouds covering the sky. “I don’t think I can handle winter in the mountains.”

“I don’t believe that,” Gavin said as he stepped in
front of her and stopped her. “Why, I bet you look damn cute with your cheeks
all rosy and a pair of mittens on. Come on, you can’t deny it.”

“That might be true,” Dawn said. “But I’m still not
sold. Besides, with another body found, I doubt it’s all that safe.”

“Wait, what?” Gavin said as he stopped her again. “Oh
no, they didn’t, did they? Please tell me it’s not your friend.”

“I thought you would have heard,” Dawn said. “But no,
thankfully, it doesn’t sound like it is.”

“I hate to say that’s a relief,” Gavin said with a
heavy sigh. “But I can’t deny that it is.”

“I felt the same way,” Dawn said with a nod. “God, I
just hope she ran off with her ex, but...”

“It’s getting harder?” Gavin finished for her.

“Yeah,” she mumbled.

God, he’s so sweet,
Dawn thought as they
started moving toward the bar again.
How could I have thought something so
horrible of him?
Even the memory of the accusations seemed so long ago.

Another thought crept into her mind then:
Why don’t
you just make a move?

Though it wasn’t actually what she wanted, she was
starting to wonder if it was a good idea. Gavin was sweet, and he seemed pretty
set on staying in Goosemont, unlike Jase. Even better, it seemed the man had no
clue that what was lurking in the woods wasn’t just some animal, but a monster.
He was a sane choice, a safe choice...

But not the choice Dawn wanted to make. Even as he
escorted her to work, joking and flirting all the way, she couldn’t bring
herself to force that spark, that connection.

As wrong or impulsive as her choice was, every time
she tried to picture herself with Gavin, the only man who came to mind was
Jase.

Snow had been threatening to fall for the last two
days, but as long as Dawn stayed inside Jim’s bar, she didn’t need to be too
concerned over it. The old man always had the heat cranked, and as the scrapes
on her arms healed, she could get away with rolling the sleeves of her plaid
button-down shirt up to her elbows.

“Take a spill?” Gabe asked as Dawn came back to hand
over an order.

“Uh, yeah,” she said. “Little bit of ice on my way
home the other day. I guess I’m not as smooth as I thought I was.”

“None of us are,” Gabe said as he looked up from the
flat-top. “I just about cracked my coccyx last winter from the damn ice that
covers the roads. Still, I was here every day, grilling away.”

Dawn smiled at him. “I’m sure you were.” The image of
Gabe slipping and falling like a child in a snowsuit was funny as hell, and it
was nice to find herself laughing again.

“How’s it looking out there?” he asked as he looked
over the pink order slip.

“The weather, or the customers?” Dawn asked.

“Both,” came his reply.

“Still looks like it’s about ready to snow,” Dawn
said. “And it’s steady out there, but not busy. The guys seem pretty glum.”

“They’ve been here the better part of a week,” Gabe
noted. “And from what I’ve heard, they haven’t seen much of anything, except a
couple days ago when that one fool idiot got himself bit by whatever it is.
They ain’t been the same since.”

“Yeah,” Dawn agreed. She had to wonder just how the
man who’d been bit was doing, it was still two weeks before a full moon, but
she hadn’t seen anyone bandaged up. Well, besides Jase.

“I’d better get back to it,” she sighed as she dragged
her heels back out into the bar. While most of the tables were full, no one was
having much of a good time at all. Sure, they were drinking, but they were
drinking slowly and only picking at their food. No one was eating or chugging
beers to drown their sorrows, and most groups were keeping close to themselves.

And still, there was no sign of Jase.

It had been nearly two days since she’d asked him to leave
her house, and she hadn’t heard from him since. She’d thought about calling,
but she didn’t know what to say. He wanted answers she wasn’t sure she was
ready to provide, and besides, he had enough on his plate. Why add more to it,
especially when there was nothing he could do about it?

Dawn made the rounds while Jim hid in his office.
Stopping by each table, she asked if anyone needed a refill, another order of
food, or anything at all, but the answer remained the same at each and every
stop.

It was when she neared a table by the door that her
feet slowed. Hushed conversation came from the table, and she recognized the
men sitting there. They were the ones who were with the man whose gun she’d
asked to see what felt like an eternity ago, the one who had said those obscene
things that she chose to ignore. Except that guy was nowhere to be seen, and
the other three looked like they’d seen a ghost.

“God, I just… poor Clyde,” one of the men, a large guy
with a graying beard, said. Dawn moved to look like she was checking the
parking lot through the window and tuned her ears to their conversation.

“What was he thinking, running off like that?” another
asked.

“He’d been acting squirrelly since that damn thing bit
him,” the first man said. “First he punched that nurse at the hospital, and
then he took off into the woods.”

“What if it was rabies?” the third man said as he
slurped his beer.

“Rabies doesn’t affect ya that quick,” the first man,
their de facto leader, it seemed, informed them. “I think the old fool just
finally snapped.”

“Maybe he was
worried
about rabies,” the third
one tried again.

“Well, whatever it was, it got his ass shot by someone
out there,” he said, and it took everything in Dawn not to react.

There was no denying that the shooter had to have been
Jase. He’d made it perfectly clear about his intentions to shoot the man who’d
been bitten. Now she just had to wonder if anyone else knew it was him.

“Those cops seemed to think it was us,” the second man
said. “I’ve been hunting since I was a pup. There’s no way I could have made a
mistake like that.”

“None of us did,” the first said, his voice turning to
a growl. “But they’ll do their ballistics or whatever the hell they do and
figure out who did. That said, the way Clyde was acting, it doesn’t shock me
much.”

Dawn was intent to stand and listen for as long as
should could. Any hint to confirm what she already knew was what she was
waiting for, but instead, a voice got her attention.

“Hey, you,” the leader of the trio called in her
direction. “I think me and my boys could use another round of beers.”

“Coming right up,” Dawn said as she pulled herself
away from the window and walked back toward the bar.

As she poured, she couldn’t help but wonder about
Jase. Was he willing to risk his own life in order to kill a creature like
that? Even scarier, what if the man wasn’t going to actual turn into some kind
of monster? What proof did he have? What if he had murdered an innocent man?

Part of her knew she should call Jase, even if it was
just to make sure he was okay. He had been so banged up the last time she’d
seen him, and though he had insisted he was fine, she still worried.

But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Her own
stupid pride got in her way, as did her fear.
Why couldn’t he just let it
go?
she asked herself as she poured the beer into a pitcher.

He’d pushed and pushed until she thought she was about
ready to break. Instead of giving him an inch to go on, she’d thrown him out.
She didn’t regret that, not really, and she didn’t know if she was quite ready
to let him push her again. Somehow, she just knew he would.

She wasn’t ready, though. There was enough heat on the
town, and with a hunter getting shot, she was starting to think that leaving
before the snow started to fall was in her best interest.

With the pitcher of beer filled to the top, Dawn
weaved her way through the tables of morose men and set it down on the trio’s
table. She hoped to hear more of their conversation, to get some kind of proof
it really was Jase that pulled the trigger, but they’d moved on to planning the
funeral.

“We were the only family Clyde had,” the leader said.
“It’s up to us to see he’s put to rest.”

Dawn thought about hanging back and listening a little
more, but Gabe stuck his head out of the galley doors to the kitchen and waved
her over with his food covered hand.

“What’s up?” she asked him once she got within
earshot.

“Someone’s here to see you,” he told her, keeping his
voice so low that she couldn’t help but be suspicious.

For only a second, a hope glimmered deep inside Dawn
.
Courtney?
Maybe her friend
had
taken off for some stupid reason, and
now that so much had happened, she was worried about being seen and everyone
hating her for making them worry. Maybe she only popped in to make sure that
they knew she was alive and well before she moved on.

Dawn had done the very same thing before.

Without speaking, she followed Gabe into the kitchen
to the back door that they used for deliveries. Gabe held the door open while
she stepped out into the cold afternoon air, but he didn’t step outside.

“Jase,” she said, failing to mask her disappointment.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see him, but she’d wanted to see Courtney,
even if it was just to say goodbye.

“Still mad, I see,” he said. He wasn’t in his FBI
disguise, but in the casual clothes that Dawn had grown to find so sexy. Faded
jeans, hiking boots, and that same green jacket he never seemed to be without.
He was dressed like every other man that was sitting in Jim’s bar, but there
was something decidedly different about him.

“No,” Dawn said as she shivered. The cold was cutting
through her like tiny blades, and she wrapped her arms around herself in an
effort to stay warm.

“Here,” Jase said as slid his jacket off and draped it
over Dawn’s shoulders. “Sorry to have to meet you out here, and I’m sorry I
didn’t call. I figured you were still pissed.”

“I wasn’t pissed,” Dawn said, though she wasn’t sure
how honest that statement was. “Okay, maybe I was. Maybe I still am. I don’t
know.”

“I pushed you too hard,” Jase said. “I just wanted to
help.”

“I know,” Dawn said over the howling wind. “It’s just
too much, all at once, at least. It’s not something I’m used to talking about.”

“That’s fine,” Jase said as he looked her over. The stitches
above his eye looked like they were healing well, but Dawn couldn’t really be
sure if that was right. Either way, it was nice to see that he didn’t look as
beat up as he had before.

“Is that why you came here?” she asked him. “To
apologize?”

“Sort of,” Jase said. “That, and to at least try not
to be an asshole and just disappear.”

“What?” Dawn said, unease flowing through her like a
roiling river. “You’re leaving?”

“Not yet,” Jase said, shaking his head. “But I’ve got
a lead and I need to follow it. I’m so close, Dawn. I’ll need to make myself
scarce for a while, lull it into a sense of security. I can’t let myself be
seen.”

“Oh,” Dawn said. “What if...?”

“It kills me, too?” Jase said with a smile that didn’t
touch his eyes. “There won’t be a missing persons report on me. Someone might
come poking around, another hunter, but that will probably be the end of it.
Although, nothing’s got me yet.”

Jase seemed so nonchalant that it nauseated Dawn. He
was chasing his own death, yet he was still going to go down that path, and she
knew there was no stopping him.

“Jase,” she said, breaking his gaze.

“Yes?” he asked, still so achingly casual.

“Did you kill that hunter? The one who was bitten?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah, I did. There was no denying
he was infected. I followed him for twenty-four hours, just to be sure. When a
man is bitten, he doesn’t change right away, but he is different—reckless,
aggressive, angry, and not himself. I had to put him down.”

Dawn thought she would be horrified at that confession
when it came, but she couldn’t find it anywhere in herself. Her own acceptance
of that fact surprised her more than his confession did, and she could only
nod.

“Yeah,” she finally said. “It’s probably best that
there’s only one werewolf in Goosemont, huh?”

“Sounds about right,” Jase said with a hollow laugh.
“I hate to do this. Honestly, Dawn, I hate it,” he said, finally showing
something beyond his easygoing and confident façade. “But I have to go.”

“I know,” she whispered, and it was the truth. As much
as it hurt, something in Dawn knew that Jase had to do this. Not just for the
town, not just to kill the beast, but for himself. “Be careful, okay?”

“I could say the same to you,” he said. “Don’t do
anything stupid. Even if you don’t hear from me, don’t come after me. Don’t go
looking for trouble. Don’t go to anyone’s house.
Anyone
, got that? Don’t
trust anyone, and don’t walk alone at night.”

It was a lot of don’ts, but the only one Dawn wanted
to hear was one that would have to come from her own lips.
Don’t go,
she
wanted to say, but she knew she couldn’t. There was no stopping him. She knew
that.

“Okay,” was all she could muster. “Yeah, okay. Is
this... is this goodbye?” she made herself ask.

“I sure as hell hope not,” Jase said, and with that,
he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. His lips were hot coals against the
ice of her cheeks, and his kisses wiped away all her fears. In that moment,
there was no goodbye, no apologies, and no fear. Dawn wanted to stay locked in
that kiss forever, but it wasn’t to be. As abruptly as Jase had taken her into
his arms, he released her again.

“When I kill it,” he said, his green eyes burning,
“you’ll be the first to know.”

Dawn could only nod. If she spoke, she knew she’d ask
him to stay.

She stood silently as she watched him walk to the red
and white truck parked at the end of the alley. He didn’t look back as he
stepped into the vehicle, and for that, she was glad. Another look, and she
would have been lost.

It wasn’t until the truck roared to life and pulled
away that Dawn realized she was still wearing his familiar green jacket.