Harvest Moon (18 page)

“You think she’ll go?” Kelly asked.

“I’ll take her. I’m not sending her into the lion’s den. I’ll take her and stay in the same hotel…”

“Good,” she said. “I mean, bad for Christmas, but there are other Christmases ahead…”

“It’s my fault,” he said. “I’ve contacted Stu twice in the past year—mostly out of guilt from promising to kill him. I called him and told him we were moving so he wouldn’t accuse me of kidnapping, and I sent him Courtney’s recent school picture. She’s all cleaned up—no more Goth. Her smile looks real. I scribbled a note—that she was doing well and her grades were back up to As. If I’d just left it alone, left him thinking she was a wild, troublesome Goth character, I probably wouldn’t have heard from him.” He took a breath. “But like him or not, he’s her father. I thought I had a responsibility. Damn it. Damn my parents for all that responsibility talk when I was growing up!”

She smiled at him, though her blue eyes were a little liquid. “Well, good for you. And you’ll be just down the hall in the same hotel so you can rescue her if things get crazy.” She shook her head. “I had no idea.”

“There’s been these times recently that amaze me,” he said. “Like when she was showing my mother how to make a twisted French loaf, I saw the old Courtney. I love that kid, Kelly. She’s my daughter.”

Kelly straightened. “She was showing your mom a twisted French loaf?”

He nodded. “I know she learned from you…”

“Wow. I thought she pretty much hated me.”

“I think that’s just her fear and lack of confidence…”

“You realize I can’t help you with any of this, don’t you? I can sympathize and be an ear, but that’s about it. First of all, I have no experience, no insights. Second, Courtney really doesn’t want my help. She puts up with me—that’s all. But if she liked me even a little, I’d go with you. If you had any trouble from the bad people, I’d be happy to kick ass and take names.”

“I think she’d appreciate that…”

“She trusts you, Lief. If you tell her you’re going to be nearby, I’m sure she’ll be okay.”

“I’m sorry about all the melodrama. None of it is her fault, not really.”

She reached for his hand. “I know. Maybe we’ll get through it yet.”

“And I’m sorry about Christmas,”

“Not to worry. I’ll stay busy. Maybe I can help out—would you like me to take care of Spike?”

“He’s a load,” Lief said.

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “It’ll give me something to do. Maybe it’ll get me some points with Courtney.”

Once Lief left Kelly, she immediately started dragging vegetables out of the cooling drawers and refrigerator. After she had a big pile on the work island, she realized that she instinctively did this when she was at loose ends.

So much of what Lief had told her was shocking to her.

Courtney’s problems were so much bigger than hers, that was for certain. That poor kid, just not old enough to understand the dysfunction of the adults who were supposed to take care of her. And who could blame her or fault her? Kelly didn’t have to like her to realize she barely had a fighting chance.

Second, Lief’s commitment and the weight of his obligation kept growing. And yet, for the sake of a troubled young girl, she wouldn’t have it any other way. But this would definitely change things, going forward. It would be very hard for Kelly to be a part of that family. It just might not be possible.

Kelly and Lief had begun to talk a little bit about how they might see each other over Christmas. Jillian and Colin were going back east. One of the Riordan brothers was assigned to the Pentagon; it seemed Luke and Shelby would go also, leaving Shelby’s uncle Walt to check on the cabins in their absence. They had asked Kelly if she had any interest in going along, but she’d declined immediately. She had been looking forward to a rather quiet holiday, some of it with Lief. Perhaps with Lief and Courtney.

But not if they would be in Orlando.

Being a little lonely wasn’t the worst thing. She’d be busy. Perhaps she could help out with chores around the gardens in case Denny, the assistant, wanted to take some time for the holidays. She’d cook, can and bake. That’s what she did if she was lonely. If she was troubled or uncertain.

Why couldn’t she fall for a man who was free to fall for her?

“No!” Courtney said. “No, you can’t make me!”

Lief had talked to Jerry Powell, who’d encouraged him to break the news as soon as possible, not only to give Courtney time to get used to the idea but also time to talk to Jerry about her concerns at her next appointment. The minute he got her home from school that day, he broke it to her.

“I’m not going to make you, Court. I’m asking you to put up with this one last time and I’ll get my lawyer working on a change in that custody agreement so that you won’t have to do it again.”

“Please,” she said. “Please don’t send me!”

“I won’t send you,” he said. “I’ll take you myself. And I’ll find out where you’re staying in Orlando and I’ll go. I might even go on the same plane, stay at the same hotel. I won’t let him get away with anything.”

She put her hands on her hips. “I bet you’re just saying that. I bet it made your day—freed you right up to spend Christmas with your girlfriend!”

“Why would you say that? No,” he said, shaking his head.

“Why? Because I remember it made you pretty damn mad when Stu decided to stop having custody or visitation—you were pissed. You threatened to kill him for doing that to you!”

“No!” Lief said. “No, Court! I wanted to kill him for treating
you
that way!”

“That isn’t what it sounded like,” she said, turning abruptly to walk away from him.

He grabbed her arm and spun her back. “Is that what you think? That I was mad about getting you back full-time?”

“That’s how it looked. First thing you did after my mom died was send me to Stu. Then Stu sent me back and said, no—she’ll live with you, visit me. Then he said, ‘Just take the little freak’ and you had him up against the wall, telling him you were going to kill him. And then—all the way back to your house, you were like
purple,
you were so pissed! You think I’m too fucking stupid to figure out no one wanted me? That I had nowhere to go?”

Lief sank weakly to the couch in his great room. She’d been a witness to the whole thing. How could she not understand any of it? In his head he heard himself telling her she shouldn’t be saying
fucking….

But she was gone. The door to her room slammed.

He felt like the bones in his body had melted. She couldn’t really have misunderstood to that degree, could she? He tried to run the film of the whole year following Lana’s death in his mind, and it was clear as yesterday, but he couldn’t see it from Courtney’s perspective. His wife had died of an aneurism while at work; he’d been called to come to the hospital, though she was already gone. He’d had to pick up Court from school and try to explain through his own choking tears. It was such a dark blur—holding his little girl, crying with her, burying her mother.

And after that—packing her off to Stu. Hating that son of a bitch as Lief only got her for a quick weekend a couple of times a month. After all, Stu hadn’t raised her; he’d never had her longer than the occasional weekend.

Finally he stood up, forced himself to lift his chin, and went to Courtney’s room. He didn’t knock. He opened the door to find her on her cell phone. “Call whoever that is back,” he said. “I need ten minutes.”

She clicked off and looked up at him expectantly.

“It wasn’t like that,” he said. “The worst day of my life was when your mom died. The second worst day was when your father said, ‘Well, I guess Courtney comes to live with us now.’ I had to fight him, Courtney, to get weekend visitation. I had to pay him child support to get you two weekends a month. That day you called me to come for you, the day I got violent with him, I wanted to kill him for letting you be treated that way, for talking about you the way he did, for shoving you away when he should have put his
life
on the line to keep you safe! To make sure you knew you were loved and wanted. I swear to God.”

She lifted her chin. “Looked like you were pissed off because he told you I was your problem from now on,” she said.

“I should have killed him for saying that. He should never have let you feel that way. He was wrong.”

“And I have to go there? To spend
Christmas
with him?”

“I will take you myself. I’ll stay close, my cell phone on at all times, and if things aren’t perfect, I’ll get you out of there. Please trust me.”

She looked down. “Funny you don’t just take advantage of the vacation,” she said. “You and the girlfriend.”

“And it’s funny you don’t give her a chance. She’s a good person. She wants to come along—camp out in Orlando where you are. She said one false move and she’d be happy to kick some ass.”

She widened her eyes. “She said that?”

Lief nodded. “Not that many people are like Stu and Sherry. I hope to God they’ve changed.”

“I don’t know if I can do it,” she said. Then she shuddered. “They’re awful.”

“Last time,” he promised. “The lawyer is working up some paperwork asking for custody. Permanent custody. And I’ll be close by, I promise.”

“What about Spike?”

“I’ll make sure he’s taken care of. I’ll find someone to take care of him before we go.”

“Okay,” she finally said. “But I think it’s a bad, bad idea.”

Fourteen

O
n the sixteenth, Kelly arrived at Lief’s house at four in the afternoon, her arms laden with groceries. A second trip to her car brought her back with gifts for Lief and Courtney. While Lief and Courtney were pulling the last of their things together to pack, Kelly was cooking a special farewell dinner for them.

Too bad it couldn’t be a joyous occasion.

Kelly didn’t add her gifts to those still under the tree; she put hers on the table. Then she got busy—Courtney loved pasta, and Kelly had some to-die-for meatballs that she’d made ahead and added to her great-grandmother’s sauce. By the time she was fluffing up a salad, Lief had joined her in the kitchen.

“How can I help?” he asked.

“You can pour us each a glass of wine and keep me company. I brought some gifts—nothing so much. Just a holiday thought.”

“Kelly, you’re an amazing woman, all you’re doing for Courtney and I when you’re being abandoned for Christmas. I’d give anything to take you with me.”

“And you should, too. I was trained in one of the meanest kitchens in San Francisco—I could take the bastard!”

He chuckled as he poured wine. He put a glass in Kelly’s hand and clinked his against hers. “If I play this right, there won’t be any more holidays like this.”

“The most important thing is that Courtney understands she has some security in you.” Spike came prancing into the kitchen, loose again, a pair of folded socks hanging out of his mouth—socks that had been left in Lief’s suitcase. Lief picked him up. “Two important things,” Kelly amended. “That she feels secure and that I keep the dog alive!”

“The big challenge for you will be not killing him. When he’s not whimpering in the kennel, he’s in trouble.”

She leaned toward Lief and, over the puppy’s head, gave him a kiss. “I have ear plugs.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind staying here for him?”

She shook her head. “It only makes sense. That big old house will swallow me up. Besides, I’m going to sleep in your bed. With any luck I’ll smell your after-shave on the pillow.”

“Will you spend some time in Jillian’s kitchen?” he asked her.

“I’ll go over there once in a while. I might do some cooking. And I’ll be sure to keep an eye on things, just to make sure all is secure. Believe me, I won’t have time to be lonely with two big houses and a naughty puppy to manage.”

“I might call you fifteen times a day,” he said.

“There are two landlines and a cell,” she said. “Just be careful you don’t get yourself arrested for stalking.”

Courtney was understandably subdued during dinner. “Will you play with him sometimes?” she asked Kelly.

“Every day,” she said. “By the time you get home, he’ll sit up to shake hands.”

“Well, let’s clear the table and open a few presents. Courtney, Kelly brought you something.”

Courtney shook her head. “I don’t want to open anything until I get back. I just want this to be over.”

Kelly almost said,
As we all do!

“Courtney, Kelly has gone to a lot of trouble for us—”

“No, it’s okay. Let’s all wait. That’s a better idea. Let’s get through this and celebrate a homecoming when it’s behind us. How about that? I like that idea.”

Before the table was even cleared, Courtney stood up. “I think I’ll just take Spike to bed now.”

Kelly stopped her before she could leave the kitchen. “Courtney, listen. I’m sorry you have to do this—your dad told me how hard it is. You’ll have your cell phone, right? Make sure my numbers are programmed in. If you ever wonder how the puppy’s getting along, call me.”

“Have you ever actually
had
a dog before?”

Her tone was so abrasive, Kelly had to fight the urge to stiffen indignantly. Instead she smiled and said, “No, I haven’t. And I thank you for letting me do this. I look forward to it. I’ll be very careful with him.”

Courtney just shrugged and left them alone.

“Maybe when she sees that we’re both on her team, things will improve,” Lief said.

“Maybe so,” Kelly said. But she was thinking,
If it doesn’t improve a lot, I’m not signing on for this.

She didn’t stay late, though leaving Lief’s arms wasn’t easy. She told him to spend that last night at home with Courtney, in case she felt like talking. When she got to her own bed on the third floor of the Victorian, all she could do was toss and turn. She had a feeling this thing she had with him wasn’t going to make it. He had another woman in his life, a more important one. She didn’t mind falling second, but she couldn’t survive as persona non grata.

Lief and Courtney set out for the six-hour drive to San Francisco on the seventeenth, and it was a morbidly quiet drive. He tried to reassure her from time to time with statements like, “I know you won’t enjoy this visit as much as I’d like you to, Court, but it’s not dangerous. Worst case, highly annoying.”

“Right,” she said.

“Listen,” Lief said, “if there’s anything about this that’s dangerous, you need to speak up! Have your dad or stepmom ever done anything to physically harm you? Ever hit, ever put you in dangerous situations, ever—”

“The only dangerous thing is that I have to stay under the same roof with those carnivorous boys. And no—nobody touches me funny, either! But I have to tell you the truth, it goes way beyond highly annoying. I’ve had medical treatment after a couple of visits with them!”

There was no arguing that. “Do you carry hairspray?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Hairspray,” he said. “Right in the eyes! And fight back! Call the police! Do not let anyone hurt you.”

She sighed heavily. “Are you sure you’ll be close?”

“I will follow you all the way. I got all the information from your dad, booked a ticket on the same flights and a room at the Disney Hotel. We’re solid. He wasn’t at all happy about it, either. He says if I interfere, there will be trouble. The good news is—it’s Disney World. There will be a million people around. If you need help and you don’t see me standing six feet behind you, all you have to do is shout.”

“Thanks,” she said meekly. “You sure Spike’s going to be all right?”

“Sure, honey. Kelly’s not only a good, responsible person, she likes him. And he’s cute. Besides, she’s going to be all alone.”

“What about her sister and all those people?” she asked.

“Gone for the holidays. It’s just Kelly. They invited her along, but she didn’t want to impose. She volunteered to take care of the dog so he wouldn’t have to go to the vet’s kennel.”

“Oh,” she said. “I didn’t know she volunteered. I thought you asked her.”

“I told you—”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s nice,” Courtney interrupted.

“Listen, we’ll have a good dinner in San Francisco, then a little shopping. You might as well have some vacation clothes. We don’t fly to L.A. until midday tomorrow, so we have lots of time to relax. We can enjoy ourselves.”

“Sure,” she said, biting her nail down to the quick.

As much as Lief wished Lana were still alive, he was glad she didn’t have to see this. Watching Courtney suffer ripped his heart out. Lana had somehow managed to get around Stu most of the time, keeping Courtney’s visits to his house down to a bare minimum, but for his life, Lief couldn’t remember how she’d done it!

After checking in to their hotel, Lief took Courtney shopping. It was like dragging a ball and chain, but he managed to get her interested in a couple of shirts, capris and hoodies. Not much, but something. They chose an Italian restaurant, somewhere Courtney could get a cheese pizza and nothing exotic. They shopped a little bit afterward, but she just couldn’t relax and enjoy herself.

For all the times Lief had nearly fallen to his knees to pray she’d just stop sniping at him, he couldn’t bear her silence.

When they got to L.A., he rented a car. He stopped off at her favorite burger restaurant to be sure she had something solid to eat before dropping her at Stu’s, but she only picked. “Look, all we can do is get this over with,” he said. “I have an appointment with the lawyer tomorrow—he’s going to get together the paperwork. I’m filing for permanent custody. We’ll file the second we step off the plane after this ordeal. Let’s try to get through it, Court. I’m sorry, but that’s all we’ve got.”

“I know.”

He carried her bag to the front door. She rang the bell.

“Court?” he said, causing her to turn. He put down the bag and opened his arms to her. She rarely hugged him anymore, rarely showed physical affection. But with watery eyes, she filled his arms and hugged him hard. “It’s going to be all right. We’ll get past this.”

“Promise you’ll be there,” she whispered.

“Promise.”

The door opened and Stu stood there, a beam. “Welcome, Courtney! Long time! You look great! Ready for a little vacation with the family?”

Courtney just looked down and entered the house, pulling her suitcase behind her.

“Thanks, Lief,” Stu said. “Guess I’ll see you late on the second.”

“You’ll see me sooner than that. I was able to get tickets on your flight, reservations at your hotel. I’m going to be nearby in case Courtney needs me. No more bite marks, no more stitches, no more abuse.”

“Whatever,” he said dismissively. “Kids have their issues. Siblings fight sometimes. I can’t be on top of ’em every second.”

“Well, you’d better be, Stu.”

“Lighten up, man! I’m taking her on a goddamn vacation! And I can’t keep you from following us, but you’d better keep your distance or I’ll be calling my lawyer!”

Great,
Lief thought.
He can talk to my lawyer.
“I won’t get in the way unless she needs me.”

“She isn’t going to need you. Stay out of my face while I vacation with my family!”

Courtney waited inside the door until Stu turned to her and told her where she was to sleep. Turned out she got the guest room—bed and everything.

“Want anything to eat?” he asked her.

“No, thank you,” she said. She pulled her suitcase to the bedroom and closed the door behind her. The house was fairly quiet; no greetings from the stepwitch or the boys, which suited her just fine. She checked her iPhone for messages and shot a text to Amber.
Haven’t been beaten or fed to the dogs yet. Off to a good start!

Amber wrote her right back.
Don’t be so dramatic! Try to have some fun!

“Shows what you know,” she said aloud.

She didn’t even open her suitcase; she was a little afraid to get comfortable, to let her guard down. She put in her earbuds and listened to some music from the phone. Every now and then she’d hear one of the boys shout or run down the hall, but she was left strictly alone. Maybe they’d just let her tag along, enjoy a little of Disney on her own. Lief had given her money and the emergency credit card—one that he had in her name in case she ever ran into a worst-case scenario and needed cab fare or even a plane ticket. If Stu and Sherry just left her alone, maybe she would enjoy a little trip to Orlando.

Late that night she texted Lief. “I’m sleeping in a bed and no one has bothered me.”

He texted back immediately; he hadn’t been asleep either. “Just do your best and let me know if you need me.”

She decided she
was
going to give it her best. Maybe when this was over Lief would be really proud of her and that would be the end of this back and forth crap. She didn’t want to ever go through this again! With her earbuds in her ears, she fell asleep listening to the music stored on her iPhone; she slept in her clothes. She didn’t leave her room once, not even for the bathroom. Sunlight was brightening the room when she woke up; the battery in her iPhone was dead from having it on all night. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She’d slept on top of the covers, not even burrowing into the bed. She rooted around in her bag for her recharger and plugged in the phone before even walking out of her room to the hallway bath.

There was an awful lot of activity in the house, but she thought that was probably normal. When she finally made her way to the kitchen, she saw there was luggage by the front door.

“Well, sleepyhead,” Sherry said cheerfully. “I was just about to wake you. You must have been awful tired to sleep so late.”

“What time is it?” she asked. She didn’t wear a watch; her iPhone was almost permanently attached to the palm of her hand. That was her time source.

“My gosh, it’s after seven, and we have an early start today! I hope you didn’t completely unpack! We need you and your suitcase ready in fifteen minutes!”

Courtney frowned. “For what?”

“For our trip, silly!” And then Sherry grinned.

“We’re not leaving till tomorrow,” Courtney said.

“Last-minute change of plans, pumpkin,” Stu said as he came into the room, holding his coffee cup. “It’s all good—we’ll get there a day early.”

They were awful dressed up for a travel day. Sherry was wearing a designer sweat suit—it might’ve been silk—gold sandals and lots of jewelry. Her red hair was teased and spiky, her fingernails long and coral, her toenails matched. Stu looked pretty slick himself, for a short bald guy. “You told my dad the twentieth.”

Stu immediately frowned. “Okay, now, that really hurts. I’m your dad, pumpkin. I know the guy’s important to you, but could you cut me some slack here? I’m taking you on a first-class vacation. I want you to enjoy yourself and your family. Can you let me be the dad?”

“You told Lief the twentieth,” she persisted, thinking
what is this pumpkin shit?

“Last-minute great deal on tickets, that’s all,” he said, standing up to his full five-foot-six. “I’m sure he’ll figure it out.”

She decided she’d just call Lief from the airport if her phone had charged enough. So far things weren’t disastrous.

“I don’t have time to shower,” she said.

“Just wash up a little and change,” Stu said. “We have a car on the way. We’re going to get the fun started!”

Courtney had a very bad feeling about this, but she was also backed up to the wall. Their bags were sitting at the door, they were all being nice to her, and all Stu seemed to want was to be referred to as her dad. She could do that. But the bad feeling just wouldn’t go away.