Harrowing Hats (35 page)

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Authors: Joyce and Jim Lavene

BOOK: Harrowing Hats
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“
I
think you’re going to have an interesting evening—without me. Step aside and I’ll go quietly without reporting you for this.” I tried to look as fierce and tall as I could.
“You think I went to all this trouble to simply release you? Think again. And while you’re at it, fetch me some ale from that table over there.”
Crystal poked her head through the tent flap. “My Lord? May I assist you?” She saw me standing there and dragged the rest of her body inside, too. “Jessie? What are you doing here?”
“This does not concern you,” Stewart told her. “Go to the women’s tent and I’ll call you when I need you.”
“Why is she here, Stewart? If you needed someone, you should’ve called me.” Her voice was unsteady, filled with anger that he’d brought someone else here.
“I do not answer to you, woman!” he roared back at her. “I shall summon you when I desire. Leave us at once.”
I really couldn’t picture Crystal the Pirate Queen backing down from him—but it happened. She meekly left the tent after glaring at me like I had something to do with this. What was wrong with her anyway?
“Now,” Stewart turned back to me, “fetch me that ale.”
“Or what?” I demanded, grabbing an apple that had been left for him on his bedside table. There was also a beautiful red rose. “I’m not fetching anything. I’m not a dog. And you’re dangerously close to being charged with kidnapping in the
real
world. Remember that place? No cute little black suits or horses to play with.”
He stamped his foot. I’m not kidding—he really stamped his booted foot. Nice boots though.
“You will do as I say or you will pay the consequences.”
I took a bite of the apple. “Make me.”
He was so angry that it contorted his face. “You think I don’t know what you had planned for tonight? You think I’m stupid? I know what’s going on. The Templars serve each other. Did you really believe Robert was your friend?”
I was a little concerned about poor Robert at that point. Whether he talked or not, he could be in trouble. Item number one to look into—after I escaped.
“Do you really think I care?” I bluffed. “Robert was a tool to use. I don’t care whether he was my friend or not.”
“Your plan has failed. Your friends can’t help you now. Acknowledge me as your master and I’ll be lenient.”
I dropped the apple on the floor. “Okay. That’s enough playacting. I put up with kids like you all year at school. I’m done here. I’m going home. Stop me if you feel motivated.”
He took a knife out of his boot. It didn’t have a safety tip on it. I didn’t know if it was real or not—I didn’t care. I glanced around for a weapon and grabbed his sword from the sheath near his suit of armor. We faced each other across the tent while the lightning flashed around us outside.
“You’re a
girl
,” he reminded me. “You can’t wield that big heavy sword. Give it up.”
My sword was not safety tipped either. I moved in quickly and made a few cuts to his black practice outfit. Parts of it fell from him, leaving his side and one shoulder bare. He obviously didn’t realize how long my reach was. “What? I couldn’t hear you for all of the thunder outside.”
That totally enraged him. He came at me with all the skill of a man who’s had no formal weapons training. He thrust his knife around like a little kid. I used the sword to cut at him several more times. By then, his chest and one leg were uncovered.
“You fight like a demon,” he managed to get out through clenched teeth.
“Thanks. You fight like an idiot. I can’t even imagine why I was so worried about Chase. That’s probably why he wasn’t worried. He’d seen you fight. He knew you were just a bunch of sound and fury signifying nothing.”
This wasn’t part of my plan to prank him. On the other hand, maybe he’d be so humiliated at being beaten by a girl that it would do the trick. By my estimation, I was hours ahead of the rest of the residents who were coming to join me. Oh well, the best laid plans and all that.
Stewart looked like he wasn’t sure what to do. Not surprising. It’s different when you only battle people who let you win.
“I’ll give you one last opportunity,” he snarled. “I’ve shown you mercy so far. You won’t find that the case any longer.”
“Have at it,
boy
!” I encouraged him. “In case you haven’t noticed, mine is bigger. Not that it would matter, since I know what to do with it and you obviously don’t.”
That did it for him again. He came at me with his little knife, and I made the most of the opportunity. By the time I got done with him, he was down to his boots and some of his skivvies. I played with him like a cat with a mouse. It was almost too easy.
“That’s enough!” He threw his dagger on the floor. “There are laws that protect people from things like this. My father has a lot of money. You’re going to jail.”
I laughed at him. “I don’t care how much money he has. I might go to jail, but not before you and I take a walk outside in the rain.”
“What? Have you lost your mind? You’ve managed to undress me. At least have the dignity to hand me clean clothes.”
I leveled the tip of the sword with his throat. “I lost my mind a long time ago and I have no dignity whatsoever. College professors can’t afford dignity on what we make. Outside,
now
!”
I thought a nice walk around the encampment would be good for him—maybe enough to help him see the error of his youthful ways. I held the sword steady and urged him out the door with it. He stepped through the tent flap with me right behind him.
A chorus of huzzahs greeted us, punctuated by several non-Renaissance handheld spotlights. I couldn’t see who was there, but I could tell it was quite a crowd.
Stewart started screaming and grabbed his private parts before running into the dark woods that surrounded the encampment. As he ran I heard several slapping noises—I could only guess that some of the residents wanted to get more hands-on in his punishment.
The huzzahs continued, a little party starting up despite the rain. Knights and followers began to peek out of their tents to see what was going on. Someone started playing music from a local radio station, and before I knew it, everyone was dancing.
“Jessie!” Chase grabbed me and swung me around. “Since you were determined to do this, I hope you didn’t mind if I gathered your faithful here before midnight.”
I kissed him hard on the mouth. “I was never so glad to see everyone!”
“Did you see that little terror take off?” Robin Hood asked, doing one of his head-back guffaws with his gloved hands on his hips. “Methinks we won’t be hearing from him any time soon.”
“Don’t be so sure,” Chase warned. “He might be pranked, but that might only be the beginning.”
“You’re such a downer,” Fred the Red Dragon told him. “Enjoy the moment, man.”
“Somebody told Stewart what was going on,” I said to Chase. “I think it was Lord Robert. Have you seen him around?”
“Not recently.” He grabbed the sword I was still brandishing. “Maybe you should look for him without this. I’ll help you.”
We found him trussed up and gagged in the back of the camp followers’ tent. Chase cut the ropes that held him while I removed the gag.
Robert looked up at us with genuine fear in his eyes. “I didn’t want to tell him. Really. He made me tell him. He threatened me.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “It all turned out fine. The prank worked out, thanks to Chase being fast on his feet.”
“And Stewart?” Robert asked.
“He ran off,” Chase said. “I’m sure he’ll be back with a bad case of poison oak. But he’ll be fine.”
“Well, as good as anyone can be after I prank them.” I smiled and enjoyed my success. “I think we should visit the party, don’t you, Sir Bailiff?”
“Thank you, Lady Jessie.” Robert groveled at my feet again. “I believe there may be a need for a successor to take Stewart’s place within the knights. I would be honored to do this.”
“That is much appreciated, Lord Robert,” Chase told him. “But there was word today that Sir Karl, one of the castle knights, will be the new leader out here. Stewart is welcome back if he can adhere to the new rules being set by the Village guilds for the Templars. You may continue in your present position, if you see fit to do so.”
Robert bowed his head. “Thank you, Sir Bailiff. I will do so.”
Chase and I left him in the tent to get himself together. “You didn’t tell me Karl was taking over,” I said. “I didn’t even need to prank Stewart to save you.”
He laughed and pulled me close. “Just the idea that you wanted to save me is sweet—and frightening. I didn’t know about Karl until someone told me about you being picked up by a Templar Knight. Rafe had already told me about your plans for tonight, after you conveniently forgot to. That’s why I decided to move the timetable forward.”
“Well, at least it will all be cleaned up for Karl to take over,” I said, proud of my accomplishment. I saw Merlin gyrating with two of the Stage Caravan belly dancers. “I guess the overall answer is the guilds rewriting bylaws for the Templars.”
“I think so,” he agreed. “And I’m free of that, thanks to you.”
“Not a problem. I’ve pranked people for less.”
I knew there would still be repercussions—the chances were Stewart’s father would want to complain about what happened. But the reign of Templar Terror seemed to be over. We could go back to our semi-normal lives again.
We stayed awhile with the others, dancing and laughing in the warm summer rain. The ground got kind of squishy from so many people dancing on it, and I decided it was time to go home.
Chase and I called good night to everyone and headed down the dark path that led back to the Village. The rain had slacked off enough that the leaves from the trees kept it off us like a big green umbrella.
“Detective Almond told me he gave you the photos of that hat pin you wanted,” he said, his arm around my waist. “Did you show them to Andre?”
“Yes. He looked through his collection.” I didn’t want to lie to Chase—not if I could help it. But I didn’t want him to give Detective Almond the information I found about Belle and Marco.
“Did he find anything?”
“We’re still trying to decide.”
“Is there something wrong?”
“No. Why do you ask?” I hoped he wasn’t going to try to get the information out of me. It had been a rough night. Besides, I wasn’t very good at keeping things from him.
“You sound kind of funny. Usually that means you’re not telling me everything.”
“I don’t think it happens often enough for you to make generalizations like that,” I countered.
Chase stopped walking and turned me to face him. We were close enough to the lights from the Village that I could make out the contours of his face, if not the details. “Jessie, what’s going on?”
“If I knew for sure, I’d tell you. I don’t, so I can’t. I hope that makes sense.”
“Does whatever it is have any kind of imminent danger to you involved with it?”
That was easy to answer. “Absolutely not. And really, I’m only thinking about a hot shower and something to eat. Nothing more is on my mind.”
It wasn’t exactly the truth. But it was enough to get by for now.
Forty-two
T
he sun was out again the next morning. It was wonderfully cool, though, with strong breezes blowing in from the Atlantic. Some of those strong breezes took Chase out first thing—a few of the tents had blown over and a few more of the awnings and canopies had followed.
It always seemed like a waste of Chase’s time and energy to help take care of such small things. But when anything went wrong, they called him. Sometimes it was only to delegate the task of cleanup to the right person. Being the bailiff in the Village meant doing a little bit of everything.
I went to trade my slightly damp gown for a new, hopefully dry one. Portia didn’t even yell at me—I was amazed. She handed me a pale green gown and moved on to find costumes for the three fairies behind me in line.
“I hear Portia is going to marry the hatmaker,” the slightly disheveled purple fairy said. Her wings must’ve been caught out in the rain last night. They were drooping badly.
“No wonder she’s so happy!” her pal, the pink fairy said. “I love weddings! Portia and the hatmaker were made for each other.”
“Which one is the hatmaker?” the blue fairy asked. “I don’t think I know him.”
All three fairies did a three-hundred-sixty-degree turn, didn’t see the Hat House, and started giggling. It was time for me to walk away. Fairies! They never get things right.
After changing clothes at the Dungeon, I ran to see Andre, waving to the Three Little Pigs and Crystal the Pirate Queen. I slowed down to talk to her.
“How are you this morning?” I asked. Crystal and I were never very close. I have nothing against her—it’s just one of those things.
“I’m fine. On my way home finally.” She didn’t sound very fine.

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