“I don’t really care right now if they are.” He swiftly takes hold of my hand. “I like being with you,” he quietly express’s
I look down at our collided fingers and smile. “I like being with you too.”
Before I can react he grasps onto my waist with his other hand and sweeps me into his chest. We thump together. He cups my face and intently whispers, “Then let me kiss you.”
I don’t know what to say. I am caught off guard, the mood changed so drastically. “Danny -”
“I have never felt like this with anyone. There is something about you that makes me want to be a better person, I don’t know why that is. I can’t describe it. We have some sort of connection, don’t you feel it too?”
More than anything yes!
“Of course I do, but -”
“No buts,” he clips at me. “You know it’s me who you want. Don’t deny it.” My heart will never deny wanting him.
His lips are so close to mine, I want him to kiss me. It can’t happen though. “Like I told you the other night, I can’t be with you.”
I am such a liar!
I want to be with him so badly it’s killing me inside. “There is too much inside you that is in pain. Your anger over Faith, your father -”
He immediately unlocks our bodies and steps away. “Why do you have to bring her up and ruin the evening?” He irritatedly asks.
I move my way back up to him and bring his face into my hands. He needs to hear me out. “Because you have a lot to deal with right now and you need to see that. She’s not your enemy.” Danny flinches. I am not letting my hands go free from his face. “If you want to be a better person, you need to work on getting over this anger and jealousy with her. I’m not judging you, I’m just trying to make you open up your eyes and to see that you have so much goodness happening around you. If you get rid of these ancient feelings for her, for your dad, your life could flourish with happiness, so much so you’ll wonder how you ever lived in such anger in the first place. Holding on to this pain is not good for you.” I am not sure if anything has sunk inside his head, but hopefully a piece of what I said will eventually help him. I let go of his face and step away. “I need to get home.”
“Wait,” he panics. I can see he’s not ready for this be over. “Look, I’ll try. For you I’ll do anything.” He takes hold of my hand again.
I shake my head. “Danny...I want you to try for yourself, not for me.”
Things between us were quiet when he drove us back over to his new apartment. We listened to more music and every so often we would look at one another and smile. He’s got a great smile. A smile I have fallen for.
Once Danny parks the car, he takes me in the backway of the apartment complex lobby. He asks me to come back up to see more of his place, but I turn him down. “I think I’m just going to head home.” I’m afraid if I go back upstairs with him, things could get heated pretty fast. I can’t let that happen.
He swipes a hand through his hair. “Right….so, I’ll see you around? I hope?”
I want more than anything to see him again, I just have to keep this charade up. For how much longer though? Will he despise me in the end? Will I lose him and the friendship we are building? “I’ll be coming to your rehearsal in a couple days. Wayne invited me.” I bite my lip, waiting to see what he does.
He shakes his head and scowls. “I really hate you two together. He’s going to break your heart.”
“I’m having fun with him. It’s nothing serious,” I laugh nervously. Maybe saying we’re not serious will help calm the storm. “Walk me to my car?” I hold out my hand. He grabs onto it and we head across the lobby.
As we reach the doors that lead out front, out of nowhere a swarm of paparazzi come barreling around us; up in our faces, flashing pictures, shouting out questions. We are suddenly swallowed up by lunatics!
“Danny, are you and Harmony now an item?”
“What will Wayne do, seeing you two together?”
We try to push ourselves away from these people, but it’s very hard to do so. Danny keeps a tight hold on the small of my back and tries to lead me to my car. I am about to panic when the security guard from inside the complex comes pushing inside the bubble we are trapped in and demands everyone to move back. Unfortunately it doesn’t help much. We are still being bombarded with questions and accusations. One in particular makes Danny abruptly stop in his tracks. “How does it feel to be associated with a stripper?” I suddenly lose my footing and almost hit the pavement, I’ve become lightheaded.
Danny is livid and gets up in the man's face. He yells, “What the fuck did you just say?” I have never seen him so angry.
“She must give you a good show every night!” The man accuses with a disgusting smirk.
“You sonofabitch!” Danny is about to punch the guy, but the security guard gets a hold of him before he does anything.
I scream, “Danny, leave it alone! He’s not worth it!” I am about to lose it; tears brimming up, on the verge of crying. I cannot believe my dirty laundry is now hanging out to dry. This can’t be happening!
I quickly walk to my car, as fast as I can, desperately holding back the tears. “What the fuck was that about!” Danny meets me at my car door and grabs onto my shoulders. The paparazzi finally disappear as if they were never there.
“I don’t know, but you can’t play into their game!”
“Why did they mention you being a stripper?” His voice lowers, yet he’s still very much angry and confused.
“I have to go,” I whisper. I lightly push him out of my way and climb in my car. As I start up the car I hear him yell, “Harmony!” and I drive off. When I reach the corner and turn, I park my car and break down. He’ll never look at me the same way again; I’ve got this humiliating past that will now forever haunt me. Plus what about my job? What will happen once everyone finds out? What about Faith? How will she react? How will this affect the hotel’s business? I don’t know what I’ll do if I am let go all because my skeletons have come out.
“Because of You”
By JINKS, Written by Danny Jay, Sung by Lucky Jones
You’re all that I think about, yesterday and tomorrow
Heal the demons crawling through my soul, I am in deep sorrow
Take me to a place and time to gather my strength
I’m not sure how long you can keep me at arm’s length
My wall is tumbling down, crashing to the ground
All because of you, all because of you
My eyes are no longer closed, everything is so clear
All because of you, All because of you
Harmony’s tune is deep within my soul
I want to find that place to explore and make you my whole
Finding you with another man and in his arms, it’s crushing me
Crushing me to no ends, crushing my sanity, I am begging my plea
My wall is tumbling down, crashing to the ground
All because of you, all because of you
My eyes are no longer closed, everything is now exposed
All because of you, All because of you
Harmony….Music off my tongue.
I HATED HOW THINGS ENDED
between me and Harmony yesterday. Those damn scumbags accusing her of being a stripper. What the fuck was that all about? Why would they stoop to such levels? Okay, yeah, to get a reaction out of me.
Damn….it fucking worked.
I walked right into their trap, embarrassing Harmony. What I don’t get is, why she wouldn’t deny it? How come she won’t answer my calls or my texts? Why is she fucking avoiding me? I am overheated with rage and worry, it’s affecting everything I say and do today. I just want some answers from her. I don’t give a shit if she was a stripper or not, she’s important to me, more so than I thought. If she’s hurting I want to be there for her, but I don’t even know where the hell she lives.
I’ve slept like crap the last couple of nights. The band was meeting for rehearsal and I couldn’t get my ass out of bed. I was still worried about Harmony, I haven’t heard back from her. Wish there was a way to find where she lived; the only person I could ask was the last person I wanted to talk with, Faith.
Before I went over to the studio, I called and accepted the contract to rent the new apartment. I would move in right after Christmas. I seriously cannot believe this is my life now. I am finally getting a break and making things happen. Myself and Lucky have come such a long way and deserve every fucking penny. I finally get to help my mom out and make things easier for her. It’s my turn to take care of her.
My neck is killing me, I’m in a shitty mood and every time we start rehearsing
Forbidden Faith
, someone plays off key. Or is it me and it just sounds that way? I am just a pissed off, overtired ass wipe who needs Harmony more than anything. “Cut! Lets start from the beginning!”
Wayne slams his guitar down, frustrated. “That’s the third time, bro, what the fuck?” He throws his arms in the air and takes a seat on the ground with a huff. I am definitely not easy to work with today.
“Guys, lets take ten, yeah?” Lucky suggests. The guys agree and put down their instruments. I place my guitar against the wall and blow out a defeated breath when Lucky lays a hand on my shoulder, “Come outside with me for a smoke.” It wasn’t a question. I had no choice, but to take a breather.
We stroll down the hallway toward the outside terrace just as June comes barreling around the corner. “Hey, you two, is everything okay?” She crosses her arms and leans on her left foot, showing off her gold, sparkly heels. She’s got a great set of legs too and the perfect rack. If I wasn’t so into Harmony I would have tried to pursue June a long time ago. Though I am certain Harmony has killed me for all women. There is no other woman I want more than her.
“Yeah, just taking a small break,” Lucky says.
“Oh, okay!” She’s about to walk past us when she snaps her fingers and excitedly announces, “Oh hey, I’m looking forward to our dinner tonight!”
Lucky smirks. “Yeah, see you then.” He gets out his smokes as we walk out onto the terrace. “If you’re wondering -”
I interject. “No. Don’t care.” I already know they’re having a dinner party up in Faith’s suite, he doesn’t need to explain. We lean our elbows on the railing. Getting some fresh air is just what I needed.
Lucky inhales a slow drag off his cigarette, then blows out a puff of smoke along with his question. “We have a big show tomorrow, Danny-boy, you gonna be on top of your game?”
I jerk my head in his direction and scowl. “What makes you think that I won’t?”
He turns around and leans his back up against the railing, crossing his arms. “You just don’t seem as focused. You gonna tell me what’s up?”
“So, we’re back to telling each other everything again, huh?” I snap at him. Back before we went on tour, Lucky made it very clear we were not to talk about each other’s business, not until I made nice with Faith. It’s not something I’ve been wanting to do. Yet Harmony…..she’s…..
Fuck, I need to talk to her
.
“Look, I’m trying to help. I miss what we had, brother.”