Harmonic Feedback (19 page)

“Does he have mail lying around somewhere?”

My knees wobbled as I wandered into the kitchen. A mess of papers covered the table. I fished an envelope out. It was sticky with something.

“Found a telephone bill,” I said. “It’s 1401 Madison Street—apartment 239.”

“Got it. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Someone banged on the door about four minutes later. I was sitting at the kitchen table, still clutching my cell phone. Too early to be Justin—unless he lived on this side of town. Every nerve in my body turned to ice.

Scott barreled out of the bedroom and glared at the phone in my hand. “You call the cops?” He made a move toward me, but the banging continued. He snuck up to the door and looked into the peephole. His shoulders relaxed at whoever was standing outside.

“Don’t pound on the door like that, jackass,” Scott said, opening the door.

This was followed by male laughter. Two guys walked in. One had long, frizzy hair and the other wore a beanie and about a billion facial piercings. Frizz Head made himself at home on the couch, and Beanie Guy followed Scott into the kitchen.

“What’s up?” Beanie Guy nodded at me.

I looked down and hightailed it to the front door. Their eyes burned into me.

“I think she’s retarded or something,” Scott said.

“Dude, that was
cold
.” Beanie whispered something else I couldn’t hear, and they both laughed.

“Hey,” Frizz said from the couch, “you gonna let him talk about you like that?”

“Naomi?” I called, keeping my eyes focused on a hole in the wall. “Where are you?”

“I’m coming,” she said, tearing out of the room. “Sorry.” Her eyes darted from the couch to the kitchen.

“Justin’s coming to pick us up,” I said.

“Hey, Naomi!” Beanie called. “What’s wrong with your friend?”

She rolled her eyes. “She’s got standards.”

Scott leaned toward him. “That’s all she does, man. Stands in corners all hunched over. You say hi to her and she does this twitchy thing like—”

“We can hear you!” Naomi said.

“She’s kinda hot, though,” Beanie said back. Like I wasn’t even in the room. Like I didn’t matter.

Naomi wrapped her arms around me. “Ignore them.”

Frizz switched the TV on, cranking up the volume. Some cartoon roared through the apartment.

Scott walked over and clicked it off. “I got neighbors that bitch if I fart too loud, okay?” Another knock echoed around the apartment. “Who’s that?”

“Maybe you should consider a new line of work,” Naomi said. “You’re paranoid as hell.”

I hoped it was Justin.

Scott looked into the peephole again and yanked the door open. “Yeah?”

“Drea here?”

“Never heard of her.” He went to slam the door, but Naomi shoved him.

“Let him in—it’s just Drea’s boyfriend.”

“But he’s not—” I began.

Naomi put a hand over my mouth and looked back at Scott. “He’s cool, okay?”

Scott opened the door, studying Justin from head to toe. Justin walked in with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. He stared back at Scott before turning to us and smiling. The Björk shirt he wore almost made me smile back. I loved Björk. But I didn’t love this situation.

“Drea has a boyfriend, apparently.” Scott walked back into the kitchen. “And he likes Ba-
jork
.”

“My little sister loves her,” Frizz said.

All three guys looked at Justin and snickered.

Justin rolled his eyes and nodded at the door. “Can we get out of here?”

“Yes, please,” I said, grabbing Naomi’s hand.

“Give me a minute, okay?” She looked back into the kitchen.

“How much for an eighth?” Beanie asked.

“Eighty,” Scott answered.

Beanie Guy shook his head. “I’ll give you fifty.”

“It’s weed, not used cars. Take it or leave it.”

Frizz joined them, and they continued to argue. Eventually, Scott went into his room and came out with a baggy. Naomi leaned against the couch, tapping the heel of her boot against the carpet.

Justin slipped his arm around my shoulders. I stiffened with his touch.

He pulled his arm away. “Sorry. You okay?”

I shook my head and leaned into him. His warmth felt amazing. He wrapped both arms around me, running his hands down my forearms. Naomi crinkled her brow at us, her mouth turning down at the corners. I wished I knew what she was thinking.

“Why don’t you call him later, Naomi?” Justin asked.

“No, he needs to know.” She dug her nails into the back of the couch. “He needs to know he can’t just treat me like I’m nothing.”

Justin lowered his voice. “The guy’s a dealer. Were you expecting love poems and walks on the beach?”

Naomi clenched her jaw again. “Just go. I’ll be fine.”

I looked at her twitching face and hands. In that moment, she looked like a scared child. “I’m not leaving you here alone,” I said.

Beanie and Frizz headed for the door, telling Scott it better not be crap like last time. Scott assured them it wasn’t and escorted them out.

He looked at Justin after he shut the door. “You buyin’ something?”

Justin pulled back from me and leaned against the couch. “No—just waiting on Naomi.”

“Then get out. She’s crashing here.”

“I want you to apologize,” Naomi said.

“For
what
?” Scott asked.

Justin stood up. “This isn’t going anywhere.” He put a hand on Naomi’s shoulder. “Let’s go.”

Naomi moved away. “Back off, Justin.”

Scott walked closer to him, but Justin didn’t move back. For a second they looked like they might kiss.

Justin looked down at Scott’s clenched fists. “Maybe you should stay out of your own stash.”

Scott shoved him into the couch. “Get the fuck out.”

Justin straightened and held his hands up.

Naomi tugged at Scott’s elbow, pulling him away. They moved into the bedroom and left the door open. She talked in a loud whisper, but I couldn’t make out most of the words.

“Because you’re up my ass twenty-four seven,” Scott said.

“Scott, I need you. Scott, come over. Were you checking her out?”

“First you tell Roger you want to hook up with Drea.” Naomi’s voice cracked. “You told me it was a joke—fine, whatever. Then I hear about Kelly.”

“And? We weren’t together.”

They continued to fling words back and forth, voices rising and falling. And then they fell into low whispers.

Justin leaned back against the couch and shut his eyes. His fingers tapped sharply against his jeans. “We can’t make her go.” He brushed his other hand against mine.

That’s when we heard a crash against the bedroom wall. Naomi screamed. We ran around the couch and into the bedroom in time to see Scott slug her. His knuckles made a loud, popping sound when they hit her jaw, and he shoved her to the ground.

“You pushed it too far.” Scott jabbed a finger at her. “Too far!”

Justin lurched at Scott and twisted his arms behind his back. He shoved Scott against the wall, struggling to keep him contained. “Get her out of here, Drea!”

I helped Naomi off the floor. Her lip was cut and her face was stained with tears.

Scott pulled out of Justin’s grip and sent a fist into his face. Justin punched Scott’s nose and rib cage, his features contorting into a mess I didn’t even recognize. The sound of cracking knuckles and struggling feet echoed in my head. Naomi yelled for them to stop. I dropped my lunch box and covered my ears, taking fast breaths.

Scott protected his bloody nose with one hand and kicked Justin in the gut. Justin winced and clutched his stomach. But Scott raised his fist again. He wasn’t going to let up.

I ran at Scott. Mom always said if a guy attacked me, go for the balls. I brought up my foot and kicked him twice, as hard as I could. I just wanted it to stop. It had to stop.

Scott hunched over and screamed a bunch of stuff that blurred together. Justin moved between us and spread his arms wide, shielding me. The room became silent, except for heavy breaths. Sirens wailed in the distance, barely audible over the ringing in my ears.

Scott cursed and scrambled over to his bedroom window.

“I gotta get out of here,” Justin said, heading for the door.

I grabbed my lunch box and ran after him. I thought Naomi was behind me, but I wasn’t sure. The world was nothing but a throbbing pulse in my ears and the impact of my footsteps on the pavement. It felt like a dream. Like nothing was real. All I knew was I didn’t want to stay there.

We piled into Justin’s car, and he took off with the same vigor Scott had during the race. I could see flashing blue and red lights several blocks down the street. The sirens were loud enough to be heard over his music. It was even a song I liked. And then I started laughing. Couldn’t stop.

“Are you laughing?” Naomi asked from the back seat.

Justin shifted with a jerk and tore around a corner. He backed the BMW between two cars on a nearby residential street and cut the engine.

“What are you doing?” Naomi asked him.

“Didn’t want to risk passing them.”

“How do you know they’re even going to Scott’s?” Naomi asked. “I hear sirens all the time over here.”

“Did you want to stick around and find out?” he asked.

I continued to laugh—even though I felt anything but happy. My entire body shook, sweat covered my back, and my temples were throbbing.

“Well, Drea’s amused,” Naomi said.

“I think it’s her way of dealing,” Justin said, looking over his shoulder. A police car screamed by on the main street.

“I’m sorry. I can’t stop.” The words came out in short bursts of breath. I rocked myself, focusing on long, deep breathing through my nose. Back and forth, in and out. A doctor told me to do that once.

Justin reached over and stroked my hair. “It’s okay—you’re just in shock.”

“Laughter is a lot better than tears.” Naomi poked the back of Justin’s head. “Why are you so afraid of cops?”

His jaw tensed. “Besides the potential assault charge and being in a dealer’s apartment?”

“You were defending me—I would’ve told them the truth. And Scott doesn’t usually deal out of his apartment, unless his friends want something small. So he never keeps much there. He probably just flushed anything he had left.”

“You don’t have a lot of experience with the cops, do you?” Justin squinted at her in the rearview mirror. “I could tell you were tweaking as soon as I walked in the door.” His voice sounded different to me. Rougher, angry even.

I wanted to ask them what tweaking meant exactly, but I could guess. The rabid look in Naomi’s eyes was hard to miss. I’d spent my entire life fighting to be
normal
. An array of medication every morning, every six hours, every evening—a prisoner of rashes, headaches, drowsiness, and other fun side effects. All so I could be who everyone else wanted me to be. Nobody ever gave me a choice. But Naomi had a choice, and she didn’t even seem to care.

“Where did you learn to throw punches like that?” Naomi asked.

Justin shrugged, but he gripped the steering wheel harder. I studied their shadowy faces. They were like two strangers to me.

Naomi glanced down at her nails. “I hope they arrest him.”

“Me too,” I said.

She looked up at me and smiled, but I sank into my seat. It wouldn’t be that easy for her this time.

Justin started the car and put a hand on his stomach, wincing. “Let’s hope for the best.”

We pulled up in front of Naomi’s house ten minutes later. Justin didn’t speak or look at us the entire way back. He’d tensed up every time headlights approached from behind.

“Home, sweet home,” Naomi said, shoving my seat forward and squeezing out. “Thanks… Justin.”

He nodded and waved, but kept his eyes forward.

I stared at his profile for a few seconds. His cheek was like marble under the dim streetlights. I swallowed, wincing at my dry throat. “You want to give me a driving lesson tomorrow?”

“I don’t think so, Drea.”

“Why n—”

“I need to go,” he said.

I waited for him to say he didn’t mean
right now
. Like he did when he drove me home the first time.

“Drea, please just go.” He looked at me, but I couldn’t see his expression. Shadows hovered around his eyes and mouth. “And trust your instincts next time.”

The pizza I’d eaten earlier crept up my esophagus. There was something in his words that made me think I’d never see him again.

I climbed out of the car, and he sped off after I shut the door. No second thoughts. His taillights disappeared into the early morning fog.