Harlequin Special Edition September 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: Maverick for Hire\A Match Made by Baby\Once Upon a Bride (24 page)

“You don't have to, Kaitlyn, but would it hurt to share a little bit about it? We did sleep together.”

His bluntness surprised her, and she looked embarrassed. He reached over and took her hand. “Was your husband a jerk?”

She shook her head. “No. He's a decent guy. My pregnancy happened sooner than we planned. I was on an antibiotic and birth control failed. But we both did want children. We wanted
this
child. After the miscarriage, he accused me of never putting him first. He accused me of never wanting the baby.”

“I haven't known you that long and I know that couldn't be true.”

The look in Kaitlyn's eyes was pure vulnerability, and he wondered if
anyone
really understood her, if she let anyone really know her.

She shook her head and said in a low voice, “To this day, I don't know if the miscarriage was my fault. Did I not want to see the signs? Was that even possible?”

Sitting around the corner from her, he didn't think twice about dropping his arm around her shoulders, about pulling her closer...about bending his head and kissing her.

Oh, he didn't take it too far. After all, they were in a public coffee shop. But he took it far enough—far enough that she knew he wanted to make love with her again...far enough to show her he might already know her better than her husband ever had.

* * *

On Tuesday morning, Adam emerged from under Marissa's sink, feeling victorious. “You're good to go. You just needed a new shutoff valve.”

Marissa had watched Erica, along with Jordan, while he'd driven to the hardware store to gather everything he'd need. It had been an easy fix.

“Is there a reason you didn't call the landlord?” he asked, curious.

“Yep. It would have taken two weeks for him to get someone here. My kitchen would have been underwater till then.”

Marissa's apartment was charming because of the way she'd decorated it and cared for it, but it was definitely worn around the edges. He could tell the landlord didn't do much with the outside, either.

“How about a piece of chocolate cake?” Marissa offered. “Jase gave me the morning off so you could fix this. I baked it to take some to him and Sara, but there's plenty left.”

“I skipped breakfast. Chocolate cake sounds good.”

“I have a pot of coffee brewing to go with it.”

Jordan sat in a corner of the kitchen, happily playing with pots from the lower cupboard. He banged two lids together.

Startled, Erica gave a little cry from her car seat, but then she settled again.

“I probably keep my place too quiet when she's sleeping,” Adam decided.

“I did that with Jordan, too. Sugar and milk with your coffee?”

“Nope. I take it straight.”

She laughed, and her pretty black curls bobbed around her face. Adam hadn't been around Marissa much, but he liked her. Still, he didn't feel the sparks of attraction as he did with Kaitlyn. As he sat at Marissa's small table for two, she cut a piece of cake large enough to feed two people and set it in front of him.

“This single parent thing is tough,” he said just to make conversation.

“It certainly is. I don't know what I would have done without The Mommy Club.”

“You don't have family?”

“No. My mom passed on two years ago. I never expected to get pregnant,” she said honestly with a little shrug.

“The dad's out of the picture?”

“Way out of the picture. He doesn't even know about Jordan.”

Adam wasn't sure what to say to that. If he fathered a child, he'd certainly want to know about him or her.

She must have seen his dilemma, because she said, “It's complicated. He has a life that doesn't include roots. He left town before I even knew I was pregnant.”

“And he hasn't been back?”

She hesitated a moment and then explained, “Rodeo circuit.”

Adam certainly didn't know anything about that, yet he suspected a cowboy on the circuit was on the road most of the year.

“So how did The Mommy Club help you? From what I've seen, it's mostly a network.”

“Exactly. The first thing they did was help me find a job so I had insurance benefits. That's when Jase hired me. I was living in a boarding house at the time, and they helped find me this apartment. After Jordan was born, I went to a workshop for new parents and that's how I met Kaitlyn. She's absolutely super. And the free clinic she's helping with next week will benefit a lot of moms and kids. Dads and kids, too, I guess.”

He smiled. “I think this might be a little easier for women. I'm not sure why.”

“I don't know about easier,” she responded. “Maybe we talk to each other more. The truth is, I'd rather do it alone and have a network like The Mommy Club than always wonder if a man is going to stay.”

He wondered if that was a fear of Kaitlyn's, too. She knew he wasn't going to stay, and that was preventing them from having an...affair.

“Do you date?” Adam asked Marissa, wanting to know a little bit about a woman's psyche. If he did, maybe he could understand Kaitlyn and Tina better.

“Nope. I don't have time. I don't even want to think about it. Flirting with the wrong man led to Jordan's birth.”

“Is there any way to know when you've met the
right
man?”

“Since I have a son now to think about, he'd have to have a stable life. He'd have to have the same dreams I have. Children
do
change everything. Have you heard from your sister?”

“Once. I call and give her progress reports every day.”

“She's probably scared to come home, scared she won't be enough for her little girl. I can relate to that,” Marissa said, looking down at Erica and over at Jordan.

So the question was—just how could he allay some of Tina's fears? Maybe he couldn't, but maybe Kaitlyn could. Maybe if Kaitlyn left a message for Tina, Tina would understand she'd have a support system when she got back.

He'd ask Kaitlyn this afternoon after he watched her tape her interview.

Chapter Nine

O
n Tuesday afternoon, as the TV production tech made final adjustments to the microphone on her lapel, Kaitlyn kept her eyes on Adam as he held Erica in her baby sling. He was standing just outside the periphery of the activity on a back patio at Raintree Winery, a tall, broad-shouldered reminder that she had plenty of moral support. He was more than moral support really. He was...

He was sexy and determined and gentle and caring. Kaitlyn realized there was a strong connection between them, one that grown deeper ever since they'd made love almost two weeks ago.

Suddenly a woman who looked to be in her thirties was standing before her, extending her hand. “Hello, Dr. Foster, I'm Tanya Edwards. We spoke on the phone.”

Yes, they had. Since she'd agreed to this interview, Kaitlyn had heard Tanya Edwards liked to go deep into personal questioning and that made her a little nervous. But this was for a good cause. If telling her story helped more Mommy Club organizations begin in small towns everywhere, life could be so much better for so many families.

Five minutes later, Kaitlyn and Tanya were seated on the patio facing each other, cameras rolling. The opening questions were easy ones to discuss.

“Tell me a little bit about The Mommy Club, the organization you're involved with in Fawn Grove.”

Kaitlyn did so with alacrity. Her gaze met Adam's at one point and he gave her a thumbs-up sign. She smiled back and Tanya caught it.

“Jase Cramer, the Pulitzer award-winning photojournalist, has written a series of articles about The Mommy Club and the women it has helped. But you chose to write your own account of what the organization means to you. Why was that?”

“I wanted my article to act as a letter to all the women out there who had been in a position like mine.”

“And tell us exactly what that position was.”

Kaitlyn had written her article like a blog, and it had felt therapeutic at the time. But answering questions like this, with the cameras rolling, knowing a public greater than Fawn Grove was going to view her and hear her, was suddenly disconcerting.

Still, she answered the question without giving away much emotion. “I was married, pregnant and had so many dreams about a family. But suddenly everything went wrong. I had preeclampsia and didn't realize it. I had a miscarriage.”

“I'm so sorry,” Tanya said, obviously meaning it. “As you said, only women in your position would understand exactly what you went through. And you could understand what they went through. Is that right?”

“That's true now. That's one of the gifts The Mommy Club gave me. After...” She hesitated. “I had my profession to keep me focused. But going to my practice day after day and seeing children was difficult when I'd wanted one of my own. So I joined a support group through The Mommy Club organization. That helped me get my emotional life back on track.”

“Losing the baby, of course, threw it off track,” the interviewer said, again with empathy. “I can certainly understand that. But then, you lost something else, didn't you?”

For whatever reason, Kaitlyn was tense now, not wanting to go into all of this...her marriage and divorce. But she plunged ahead to get it over with.

“Yes, I lost my marriage, too. After the miscarriage, everything just seemed to fall apart.”

“You and your husband didn't attend counseling together or seek support?”

“At the time we weren't sure where to turn. I wanted to—” She stopped.

“Are you saying your husband had no desire to go to counseling with you?” the reporter asked, digging deeper.

How had she gotten into
this?
Somehow, she had to be diplomatic as well as honest. “Losing a baby is a traumatic time. I don't know if either of us was thinking clearly.”

“So your husband didn't want to go to counseling, but you did, and you grew apart. Maybe cracks that had been in the marriage all along seemed even bigger?”

That had certainly been the case. But this time, Kaitlyn didn't answer, and Tanya Edwards saw that she wouldn't.

So she continued with, “Dr. Foster, let me ask you this. Since you
are
a doctor, did your husband blame you for the miscarriage?”

Kaitlyn had already told Adam that she knew Tom blamed her. He blamed her for more than the miscarriage. He blamed her for not seeing the signs. He blamed her for not being the woman he'd expected her to be. And she blamed him, for being nonreactive, for being cold, for being matter-of-fact when he should have held her in his arms and cried with her. To Kaitlyn's dismay, she felt tears prick in her eyes now and her throat practically closed.

Tanya laid her hand on Kaitlyn's. “Take your time, Dr. Foster, I know this is difficult.”

“It's past,” Kaitlyn said, swallowing hard.

“The experience might be past, but your feelings obviously aren't. Maybe what's keeping them alive is the way you still feel about your ex-husband.”

Kaitlyn was stumped and stunned. If she said she felt nothing for her ex-husband, that wouldn't be the truth. She and Tom weren't enemies, though at the end they'd been barely civil. They'd had good times. No, they hadn't had the burning love star-crossed lovers are made of, but they'd had affection and companionship and—

All the excuses in the world couldn't make up for their broken marriage. All the help in the world couldn't have put it back together again. Not if Tom was going to blame her for the rest of his life for what had happened. She could accept his blame because she'd blamed herself, too.

She still did.

She reached for the glass of water sitting on the table by her elbow. Her hand was shaky as she lifted it to her lips. When she brought her gaze up to the crowd, not only the interviewer was watching her, but so were Adam, Sara and Jase. They were watching her lose her composure. She
never
lost her composure. It was the protection that kept her stiff-lipped and firm-hearted. But today, something had happened.

Somehow Kaitlyn finished the rest of the interview, driving the crux of it into her practice now, and how that played into The Mommy Club.

“I'm on call for them. The day care run by The Mommy Club has volunteers who call me when they have a sick child or a crisis. With my hospital rounds, my practice, my home visits and other Mommy Club volunteer work, I don't have time to dwell on the past. I move forward each day, helping any way I can. I want to extend an invitation to everyone who's listening. Get involved in your community. Become a part of some organization that makes you realize you're not alone. If you're not alone, others aren't, either.”

The interviewer wrapped up the interview with an ease that told Kaitlyn she had done it many times before.

As the tech divested Kaitlyn of her mike, her heart was still beating way too fast, and she felt trembly from the emotions that had been excavated...that she'd thought had been put to rest long ago.

Adam came up to her, but he didn't have Erica now.

“Sara says she'll watch Erica this evening. I'll drive you back to your place.”

“I'm fine, Adam. Really,” she said brightly.

Adam held his knuckle under the tip of her chin and looked deeply into her eyes. “Now, without that fake steel in your voice, tell me that you're fine.”

Maybe it was that she'd had to face too much honesty today. Maybe it was the fact that since Adam had arrived in her life, she'd had to face too much honesty altogether.

Whichever it was, she just didn't feel like she could spar with him right now.

“I'm not going to collapse or cry because of an interview.”

“Of course you're not. Do you still go to that Mommy Club group?”

“No. I stopped about a year ago.”

He arched his brows. “My point exactly. Come on, we can order a pizza and relax at your place.”

Kaitlyn didn't feel like fighting him...and maybe she
did
want to feel his strong arms around her, holding her close.

* * *

Adam liked Kaitlyn's place as soon as he walked in. The couch was blue and yellow flowers, and the pattern was repeated on a valance above a huge picture window. The living room was filled with natural light, and Adam was suddenly struck by the fact that that's what Kaitlyn brought with her whenever she entered a room. She brought clarity and helped so many people.

Right now, however, he felt she needed a little clarity herself. Maybe he did, too. She'd told him her husband was a good guy. She obviously hadn't wanted to spill the beans in that interview. Though she wouldn't admit it,
was
she still in love with him? Did she have the hope of getting back together with him? Was that why she couldn't let herself fall into passion?

His gaze returned to her living quarters. There was a huge, comfy cream leather chair with a giant ottoman. Arranged on either side of the couch were stained-glass lamps fashioned in jewel colors.

But more than the furnishings, he was struck by the mementos, the kinds of things he didn't have in his condo. He spotted a photograph of her with Marissa and Jordan, and another with her, Sara, Jase and Amy. On the wall, there was a grouping where a very young Kaitlyn stood with her arms around what he imagined were her parents. Those photos were surrounded by others of the ocean and he wondered if that was a favorite place she used to go with them. She didn't talk about her parents and he wondered if that was because she missed them, or because there was something else there that hurt.

The question for him was—why did he care about all these details?

“How about some iced tea?” she asked brightly...a little too brightly. “It's peach, no caffeine. I use that when I just want to chill.”

Chilling was fine, but when she looked at him and their gazes met, there was no chill in the air. In fact, he saw heat rise to her cheeks, and he felt that thumping awareness that he just couldn't escape around her.

“Or, I have wine,” she said. “I'm definitely covered tonight.”

She'd been covered the first night they met, too. That's why she'd allowed herself the wine tasting.

“Raintree Wine?” he guessed.

“What else? This one's my favorite, though.”

“That's fine. Need help?”

“I can handle it.”

She must have realized how self-sufficient she sounded because she added, “But I always admire a man who knows how to use a corkscrew.”

He laughed. “Bring it on.”

Her kitchen picked up the yellow and cream from the living room. The upper cupboards were cream with country flair. The lower cupboards were darker, and he liked the mix. Everything about Kaitlyn shouted good taste—what she wore, what she said, where she lived, what she did. But that wasn't why he liked her. He just...liked her...lusted after her...dreamed about hours in bed with her with his arms wrapped around her.

After a glance at him when their eyes met and time and place seemed to drop away, she broke eye contact and opened an upper cupboard.

“I have a favor to ask.”

She glanced at him. “Sure. What?” She seemed eager to talk about anything other than the interview.

“Could you give Tina a call and leave her a message about The Mommy Club? I think it would help, hearing someone else say it.”

She nodded. “Of course. I'd be glad to. I can explain I'm looking out for Erica, too, as a pediatrician. I can emphasize all the ways The Mommy Club can help her if she comes back. She wouldn't be alone.”

“Thank you,” Adam said, meaning it.

Their gazes met. Again Kaitlyn looked away.

She stretched to reach wineglasses on the highest shelf of the cupboard.

“Don't use them much?” he asked lightly.

“Not the good ones. These were my mom's.”

If that wasn't an opening, he'd never heard one. He didn't know how to ask it, so he just asked, “Is your mom still living?”

“No. She passed away before I earned my medical degree.”

“Something serious? Not that anything isn't serious if it takes your life.”

“It was pancreatic cancer. That's a silent killer because there aren't symptoms until it's too late.”

“I'm sorry.”

He meant it because he knew what it was like to grow up without a mother. “How about your dad?”

“My mom and dad divorced when I was ten. He fell in love with someone else. At first he called on my birthday and that kind of thing, but then he and his wife had a baby and then another. He's very happy and living in Portland.”

Now Adam understood better Kaitlyn's need for stability and a future. Her father had left. Her husband had left. As an adult, she'd had no one to depend on but herself. That formed a very clear picture of why Kaitlyn was the person she was.

The crystal wineglasses she poured the wine into were beautiful.

“Hand wash only?” he asked, as they carried their glasses into the living room.

“Almost all delicate things need extra care.”

“Like hearts.” Now where had that come from? He'd never been considered poetic in his life.

As they sank down on the sofa together, they were thigh to thigh, knee to knee, but neither of them moved away. Kaitlyn was wearing a flowered dress, not too professional, not too casual. It was just right for that interview. He'd worn khakis and a tan oxford shirt. With taking care of Erica, he wasn't thinking much about clothes these days. He just grabbed something, like when he was on a site in a foreign country.

They'd taken a couple of sips of wine when he decided just to jump right in.

“So how do you think the interview went?”

Kaitlyn didn't answer right away, but took a few more sips of wine.

“Kaitlyn?”

When she looked at him then, he saw that vulnerability again in her eyes that he wanted to kiss away.

“I was prepared for it. After all, I wrote about everything we were going to talk about. But the way she asked those questions—” Kaitlyn shook her head. “She got to me. She made me feel things I thought I was done with. Memories came rushing back, both good and bad.”