Harlequin Presents January 2015 - Box Set 1 of 2: Sheikh's Desert Duty\Nine Months to Redeem Him\Fonseca's Fury\The Russian's Ultimatum (46 page)

* * *

Luca looked at the locked door. He wasn't used to feeling powerless, but right now he did. He cursed volubly, knowing it wouldn't be heard because he could hear the spray of the shower and something that sounded suspiciously like a sob.

His chest hurt. Was she crying? Had he hurt her?

Luca cursed again and paced. He went to his wardrobe and took out some worn jeans, pulled them on, paced again.

Dammit
. No woman had ever reacted like that after making love with him. Running to the bathroom.
Crying
. And yet...

Had he really made love to Serena? Luca asked himself derisively. Or had he been so overcome with lust that he'd not taken any notice of the fact that she clearly hadn't been enjoying herself?

He winced now when he thought of how tight she'd been. And her husky words...
It's...been a while
. To be so tight he'd guess a lot longer than ‘a while'. Which meant what? That her reputation for promiscuity was severely flawed, for a start. And she'd been awkward, slightly gauche. Not remotely like the practised seductress he might have expected.

He'd seen how her face had tightened, become inscrutable. She'd shut her eyes, turned her head away... But Luca had been caught in the grip of a pleasure so intense that he'd been unable to hold himself back, releasing himself into her with a force unlike anything he'd known before.

For the first time in his memory Luca was facing the very unpalatable fact that he'd behaved with all the finesse of a rutting bull.

The spray of the shower was turned off and Luca became tense. He felt a very real urge to flee at the prospect of facing Serena now. But that urge stemmed from some deep place he wouldn't acknowledge. She hadn't reached him there. No one had.

* * *

When Serena emerged from the bathroom, dressed in a voluminous terrycloth robe, she still felt raw. The bedroom was empty, and a lurch of something awfully like disappointment went through her belly to think that Luca had left.

And then she cursed herself. Hadn't she told him to
‘leave me alone'
? Why on earth would he want to have anything to do with a physically and emotionally wounded woman when there had to be any number of willing women who would give him all the satisfaction he might crave without the post-coital angst?

Still...it hurt in a way that it shouldn't.

Serena belted the robe tightly around her waist and, feeling restless, went out to the living area. Her hair lay in a damp tangle down her back.

But when she looked out through the glass doors she saw him. He hadn't left. Her heart stopped as something very warm and treacherous filled her chest.

As she came closer to the open doors she could see that he'd pulled on soft faded jeans. His back was broad and smooth, his hair ruffled. From her hands or the breeze? Serena hovered at the door, on the threshold.

And then Luca said over his shoulder, ‘You should come and see the view—it's pretty spectacular.'

Serena came out and stood not far from Luca, putting her hands on the railing. The view was indeed exquisite. Rio was lit up with a thousand lights, the Sugar Loaf in the distance, and the beaches just out of sight. It was magical. Other-worldly.

‘I've never seen anything like this,' she breathed, curiously soothed by Luca's muted reaction to her reappearance.

He said lightly now, ‘I find that hard to believe.'

Serena's hands tightened on the railing. ‘It's true. Before...I wouldn't have noticed.'

She could sense him turning towards her and her skin warmed. Just like that. From his attention. She glanced at him and his face looked stark in the moonlight.

‘Did I hurt you? You were with me all the way and then...you weren't.'

‘
No!'
Serena blurted out, horrified that he would think that. ‘No,' she said again, quieter, and looked back at the view. ‘Nothing like that.'

‘Then...what?'

Why wouldn't he let it go? Serena wasn't used to men who gave any consideration to how much she'd enjoyed sex—they'd usually been happy just to say they'd
had
her. The wild child.

Luca's voice broke in again. ‘You've already come in my arms, so I know what it feels like, but you shut down.'

Serena got hot, recalling the strength of her orgasm when he'd been touching her in the jungle... But that had been different... He hadn't been
inside her
.

And she hadn't been falling for him
.

The realisation hit her now, as if she'd been blocking it out. She
was
falling for him—tumbling, in fact. No wonder her body had shut down. It had known before she did. She'd been right to fear his total possession.

She looked at him, shocked, terrified it might be written over her head in neon lights. But he was just raising a brow, waiting for an answer. Oblivious.

Her mind whirling with this new and fragile knowledge, she whispered, ‘I told you...it's been a while.'

‘What's “a while”?'

Serena stared at him, wanting him to let it go. ‘Years—okay? A long time.'

Something in his eyes flashed. ‘You haven't had any lovers since you left Italy?'

She shook her head, avoiding his eye again, and said tightly, ‘No—and not for a while before that.'

God, this was excruciating!

‘The truth is I've never really enjoyed sex. My reputation for promiscuity and sexual prowess was largely based on the stories of men who'd been turned down. I'm afraid I'm not half as debauched as you might think...a lot of talk and not a lot of action.'

Luca was quiet for a long time, and then he said, ‘I could tell you weren't that experienced. But you were touted as one of Europe's most licentious socialites and you didn't do much to defend yourself.'

She sent him a dark glance. ‘As if anyone would have believed me.' She looked out over the view and felt somehow removed, suspended in space. ‘Do you know how I learned to French kiss?'

She could sense Luca going still. ‘How?'

Serena smiled but it was bitter, hard. ‘One of my father's friends. At a party. He came into my room.'

She let out a shocked gasp when Luca grabbed her shoulders and pulled her around to face him. His face was stark, pale. His reaction took her aback.

‘Did he touch you? Did he—?'

Serena shook her head quickly. ‘
No
. No. My sister Siena was there...we shared a room. She woke up and got into bed beside me and the man left. After that we made sure to lock our door every night.'

Luca's hands were still gripping her shoulders. ‘
Deus
...Serena.'

He let her go and ran a hand through his hair, looking at her as if she was a stranger. On some deep level Serena welcomed it. The other thing was too scary. Luca looking at her with something approximating gentleness...

She saw a lounger nearby and went over and sat down, pulling her knees up to her chest. Luca stood with his back to the railing, hands in his pockets. Tense.

As if the words were being wrung out of him, he finally said, ‘It's not adding up.
You're
not adding up.'

‘What's not adding up?' Serena asked quietly, her heart palpitating at Luca's intent look.

‘You've had nothing but opportunities to be difficult since you got here and you haven't been. No one can act that well. A child who is medicated for being difficult, wilful...who grows into a wild teenager hell-bent on causing controversy wherever she goes...that's not you.'

Serena's heart beat fast. She felt light-headed. Faintly she said, ‘It
was
me.'

Luca was grim. ‘
Was?
No one changes that easily, or that swiftly.'

He came over and pulled a chair close, sat down. Serena knew her eyes had gone wide. She felt as if she were standing on the edge of a precipice, teetering, about to fall.

‘I want to know, Serena... Why were you put on medication so young?'

‘I told you...after my mother died—'

Luca shook his head. ‘There has to be more to it than that.'

Serena just looked at him. No one had ever been interested in knowing her secrets before. In rehab the professionals had been paid to delve deep, and she'd let them in the interests of getting better.

Luca was pushing her and pushing her—and for what? As if he'd welcome her darkest secrets...

The desire to be vulnerable and allow herself to confide in him in a way she'd never done before made her scared. It was too much, coming on the heels of what had just happened. Realising she was falling in love with him when he was only interested in bedding her. She'd been at pains to let Luca know that this was the real her, and yet she knew well it wasn't. There was a lot more to her. And she couldn't let it out. She felt too fragile.

Acting on a blind instinct to protect herself, Serena stood up abruptly, making Luca tip his head back.

Coldly she said, ‘There's nothing more to it—and I thought men didn't like post-coital post-mortems. If we're done here for the evening I'd like to go to bed. I'm tired.'

She went to walk around Luca, her heart hammering, but he grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. He stood up slowly, eyes narrowed on her.

‘What the hell...?
If we're done here for the evening?
What's
that
supposed to mean?'

Serena shrugged and tried to affect as bored a demeanour as possible. ‘We've been to the function, we've slept together...' She forced herself to look at him and mocked, ‘What more do you want? For me to tuck you in and read you a story?'

Luca's face flushed. He let her wrist go as if it burnt him. He seemed to increase in size in front of her, but instead of intimidating her it only made her more aware of him. He bristled.

‘No, sweetheart, I don't want you to tuck me in and read me a story. I want you in my bed at my convenience for as long as I want you.'

He was hard and cruel. And more remote than she could remember ever seeing him. Something inside her curled up tight. But still that instinct to drive him away from seeing too much made her say nonchalantly, ‘Well, if it's all the same to you, I'd appreciate spending the rest of the night on my own.'

Liar
, her body whispered. Even now between her legs she was getting damp with the desire to feel him surge deep inside her.

So that she could shut down all over again? More humiliation? No, she was doing the right thing.

He came close...close enough to make sweat break out over Serena's skin... If he touched her he'd know how false she was being.

But he stopped just inches away and said, ‘We both know that I could have you flat on your back and begging me for release in minutes...a release that you
will
give me next time, Serena.'

He stepped back and Serena felt disorientated. He thought she'd
wilfully
kept herself from being pleasured just to thwart him in some way?

He swept her up and down with a scathing glance. ‘But right now I find that my desire has waned.'

He turned and strode back into the apartment and Serena started to shake in reaction. Everything in her wanted to call out to him.

But wasn't this what she wanted? To push him back? The shackles of her past had never felt so burdensome as they did right then. She recognised that they were protecting her, but also imprisoning her.

She could imagine Luca getting changed, walking out through the door, and her gut seized in rejection. Luca was the only person she'd come close to telling everything. She could remember the look on his face just before she'd turned cold. He'd been
concerned
. Until she'd convinced him that she had nothing to say except that she wanted him to leave.

And why wouldn't he leave? He was proud enough to take her at face value. She knew how quickly he damned people—after all he'd damned her for long enough... But that had been changing.

A sense of urgency gripped her—so what if he
did
just want her in his bed? Suddenly Serena knew that in spite of how terrified it made her feel, she desperately wanted to lean on Luca's inherent strength and face these last demons that haunted her still. She was sick of letting her past define her, of being afraid to get too close to anyone in case they saw inside her.

After all, what was the worst that could happen? Luca couldn't look at her any more coldly than he just had. And if he didn't believe her...? Then at least she would have been totally honest.

She heard a movement and saw Luca stride towards the front door, dressed now in black trousers and a black top.

He looked utterly intimidating, but Serena gathered all of her courage, stepped into the apartment again and said, ‘Wait, Luca, please. Don't go.'

CHAPTER NINE

L
UCA
STOPPED
AT
the door, his hand on the knob. Had he even heard that? Or was it his imagination conjuring up what he wanted to hear from a siren who had him so twisted inside out that he barely knew which way was up any more?

He didn't turn around and forced out a drawl. ‘What is it,
minha beleza?
You're ready to come this time?'

He felt dark inside, constricted. He'd really thought he'd seen something incredibly vulnerable in Serena—he'd finally believed that she truly was exactly as she seemed—and then...
wham!
She couldn't have made more of a fool of him if she'd professed undying love and he'd believed her.

There was no sound behind him and he whirled around, anger like a molten surge within him. When he saw the pallor of Serena's cheeks and how huge and bruised her eyes looked he pushed down the concern that rose up to mock him and said scathingly, ‘Nice try,
namorada
, but I'm not falling for whatever part you want to play now. Frankly, I prefer a little consistency in my lovers.'

Luca went to turn and leave again, but Serena moved forward jerkily. ‘Please, just wait—hear me out.'

He sighed deeply, hating the ball of darkness in his gut. The darkness that whispered to him to run fast and far away from this woman.

He turned around and crossed his arms, arching a brow. ‘Well?'

Serena swallowed. Her hair was like a white-gold curtain over her shoulders, touching the swells of her breasts under the robe. Breasts that Luca could taste on his tongue even now.

Incensed that she was catching him like this, and yet still he couldn't walk away, he strode past her over to his drinks cabinet and delivered curtly, ‘Spit it out, will you?'

He poured himself a glass of whisky and downed it in one. Hating that she'd even made him feel he needed the sustenance. His hand gripped the glass. He wouldn't look at her again.

‘Serena, so help me—'

‘You were pushing me to talk...and I didn't want to. So I pretended just now...pretended that I wanted to be alone. I didn't mean what I said, Luca.'

Luca went very still. An inner voice mocked him.
She's still playing you
. But he recalled the way she'd looked so hunted...just before something had come over her expression and she'd morphed into the ice queen in front of his eyes.

Slowly he put the glass down and turned around. Serena looked shaken. Pale. Yet determined.

‘I'm sorry.'

Her voice was husky and it touched on his skin like a caress he wanted to rail against.

He folded his arms. ‘Sorry for what?'

She bit her lip. ‘I wanted you to think that I'd had enough so you'd leave, but that's not true.'

‘Tell me something I
don't
know,' Luca drawled, and saw how she went even paler.

He cursed out loud and went over to her, taking her by the arm and leading her to a couch to sit down.

‘Serena, so help me God, if this is just some elaborate—'

‘It's not!' she cried, her hands gripped together in her lap. ‘It's not,' she said again. ‘You were just asking me all these things and I felt threatened... I've never told anyone what happened. I've always been too ashamed and guilty that I didn't do something to stop it. And for a long time I doubted that it had even happened...'

Luca knew now that this was no act. Serena was retreating, her mind far away. Instinctively he reached out and took her hands, wrapping them in his. She looked at him and his chest got tight.
Damn her
.

‘What happened?'

Her hands were cold in his and her eyes had never looked bigger or bluer.

‘I saw my father kill my mother when I was five years old.'

Luca's mouth opened and closed. ‘You
what
?'

Serena couldn't seem to take her eyes off Luca, as if he was anchoring her to something. Her throat felt dry.

‘When I was five I heard my parents arguing...nothing new...they argued all the time. I sneaked downstairs to the study. When I looked in through the crack of the door I could see my mother crying. I couldn't understand what they were arguing about, although in hindsight I know it was most likely to do with my father's affairs.'

Luca was grim. ‘What happened?' he asked again.

‘My father backhanded my mother across the face and she fell... She hit her head on the corner of his desk.'

Serena went inward.

‘All I can remember is the pool of blood growing around her head on the rug and how dark it was. And how white she was. I must have made a sound, or something. The next thing I remember is my father dragging me back upstairs. I was crying for my mother...hysterical. My father hit me across the face...I remember one of my baby teeth was loose and it fell out... A doctor arrived. He gave me an injection. I can still remember the pain in my arm... The funeral...everything after that...was blurry. Siena was only three. But I can remember the doctor coming a lot. And once the police came. But I couldn't speak to them. I wanted to tell them what I'd seen but I'd been given something that made me sleepy. It didn't seem important any more.'

Her voice turned bitter.

‘He got it covered up, of course, and no one ever accused him of her death. That's when it started. By the time I was twelve my father and his doctor were feeding my medication habit. They said I had ADHD—that I was difficult to control. Wilful. That it was for my own good. Then my father started saying things like
bi-polar
. He was constantly perpetuating a myth of mental uncertainty around me—even to my sister, who always believed that I tried to take my own life.'

‘Did you?' Luca's voice was sharp.

Serena shook her head. ‘No. But even though I denied it my sister was programmed by then to believe in my instability just like everyone else. My father even made a pretence of not allowing me to take drugs for the condition—while he was maintaining a steady supply to me through the doctor on his payroll.'

Luca shook his head. ‘But why didn't you leave when you could?'

Serena pushed down the guilt. She had to start forgiving herself.

‘I couldn't see a way out. By the time I was sixteen I was living the script my father had written for me years before.'

She reeled off the headlines of the time.

‘I was a
wild child
.
Impossible to tame
.
Out of control
. And I was addicted to prescription drugs... Siena was innocent. The good girl. Even now Siena still retains an innocence I never had. My father played us off against each other. If Siena stepped out of line I got the punishment...never her. She was being groomed as the perfect heiress. I was being groomed as the car crash happening in slow motion.'

Luca's hands had tightened over hers and it was only then that Serena realised how icy she'd gone.

‘Why haven't you ever gone to the police about your mother's death?'

Shame pricked Serena. ‘Who would have believed disgraceful, unstable Serena DePiero? It felt hopeless.
I
felt hopeless. And in a way I had begun to doubt myself too...had it really happened? Maybe I was dreaming it up? Maybe I
was
just some vacuous socialite hooked on meds?'

Luca was shaking his head and Serena instantly went colder. She'd been a fool to divulge so much. She pulled her hands back.

‘You don't believe me.'

Luca's gaze narrowed and his mouth thinned. ‘Oh, I believe you, all right. It just about makes sense. And I met your father—he was a cold bastard.' He shook his head. ‘He turned you into an addict, Serena.'

Something fragile and treacherous unfurled inside Serena.
Acceptance
.

She said huskily, ‘I'm sorry about before. I didn't want to tell you everything.'

‘So what changed?'

Serena felt as if she was being backed into a corner again, but this time she fought the urge to escape or to push him away. ‘You deserved to know the truth, and I was being less than honest.'

‘Less than honest about what?'

He was going to make her say it.

Serena was captivated by Luca's gaze. Time seemed to have slowed to a throbbing heartbeat between them. In the same moment she was aware of a giddy rush through her body—a sense of weightlessness. She'd told someone her innermost secrets and the world hadn't crashed around her.

Serena's belly swooped and she took a leap into the void. ‘I didn't want to spend the rest of the night alone. It was just an excuse.'

Luca looked at her and something in his eyes darkened.
Desire
. He cupped her face in his hands and slanted his mouth over hers in a kiss so light that it broke Serena apart more than the most passionate kisses they'd exchanged.

When he pulled back she kept him close and whispered shakily, ‘Will you stay, Luca?'

She suddenly needed him desperately—needed a way to feel rooted when she might float off altogether and lose touch with the earth.

Luca kissed her mouth again and said throatily, ‘Yes.'

He stood and pulled Serena up with him, and then he bent and scooped her into his arms as if she weighed no more than a feather. Her arms moved around his neck but she couldn't resist trailing her fingers along his jaw, and then reaching up to press a kiss against the pulse she could see beating under his bronzed skin.

His chest swelled against her breasts and her whole body pulsed with heat and awareness.

He put her down gently by the rumpled bed, where the scent of their bodies lingered in the air, sultry... Even though they'd already made love Serena was trembling as if they hadn't even touched for the first time.

They came together in a kiss of mutual combustion.

There was no time for Serena to worry about her body letting her down again because she was too feverish for Luca—hands spreading out over his bare chest, nails grazing his nipples, causing him to curse softly. Her hands moved to his trousers, and she unzipped them, freeing his erection. She took him in her hand, relishing the steely strength.

Luca's hands were busy too, opening the belt of the robe and sliding it over her shoulders. Serena looked up at him and took her hands away from his body so that the robe could fall to the floor.

His gaze devoured her...hot. Dark colour slashed his cheeks as he tugged his trousers down and off completely, kicking them aside.

He pushed her gently onto the bed. Serena was shocked at how fast her heart was racing, how ragged her breath was.

Gutturally he said, ‘I want to take this slow—not like before.'

But Serena was desperate to feel him again. She was ready. She shook her head and whispered, ‘I don't want slow. I want
you
.'

He caught her look and said rawly, ‘Are you sure?'

She nodded again, and saw his jaw clench as if he was giving up some thin shred of control. He reached for protection and she watched him smooth it onto his erection, an almost feral look on his face.

Serena's sex pulsed with need. She lifted her arms and beckoned him, spreading her legs in a mute appeal.

His eyes flashed and he muttered something indistinct. He leant down to place his hand on her sex, cupping its heat. Serena found his wide shoulders and gripped him, biting her lip.

He spread his fingers and explored her secret folds, releasing the slick heat of her arousal.

His voice was rough. ‘You're so ready for me.'

‘Please...' said Serena huskily. ‘I want you, Luca.'

Every cell in her body felt engorged with blood as he came down over her, pressing her into the bed, his body hard next to her softness. Crushing it deliciously.

He bent his head and took one pebbled nipple into his mouth, his teeth capturing it for a stinging second before letting go to soothe it with his tongue. This teasing was almost unbearable.

Serena was about to sob out another plea when he pushed his thick length inside her. Her eyes widened and she sucked in a breath as he pushed in, relentless, until he was buried inside her.

‘You're so tight...like a vice.' He pressed a kiss to her mouth, hot and musky. ‘Relax,
preciosa
...'

The endearment did something to Serena. She felt her body softening around him. He slid even deeper and a look of deep carnal satisfaction crossed his face, making something exult inside her. A sense of her own innately feminine power.

Her nipples scraped against his hair-roughened chest with a delicious friction as Luca started to move in and out, each powerful glide of his body reaching deeper inside Serena to a place she'd locked away long ago. She couldn't take her eyes off him. It was as if he was holding her within his gaze, keeping her rooted in the inexorable building of pleasure.

He reached around to her thigh and brought it up over his hip, his hand smoothing her flesh, then gripping it as his movements became harder, more powerful. That hand crept up and cupped her bottom, kneading, angling her hips, so that he touched some part of her that made her gasp out loud as a tremor of pleasure rocked through her pelvis.

Unconsciously Serena tilted her hips more and Luca moaned deeply. His thrusts became faster and Serena could feel the tight coil of tension inside her, tightening and tightening unbearably, to a point of almost pain.

She was incoherent, only able to stay anchored by looking into Luca's eyes. When she closed hers briefly he commanded roughly, ‘Look at me, Serena.'

She did. And something broke apart deep inside her.

Her whole body tautened against his, nerves stretched to screaming point. Luca moved his hand between them, his fingers finding the engorged centre of her desire, and he touched her with a precision that left her nowhere to hide or hang on to. She imploded. Her control was shattered
—
the control she'd clung to all her life. Since her world had fallen apart as a child, when being
out
of control had become her control.