Harlequin American Romance November 2014 Box Set: The SEAL's Holiday Babies\The Texan's Christmas\Cowboy for Hire\The Cowboy's Christmas Gift (62 page)

“Your sister's not interested in the ranch, is she?” Quinn's voice was quiet but clear, and Duke looked him in the eye.

“No, she's not,” he answered. “But don't panic yet. Nothing's decided for sure, and there's time before anything will change around here. I'll make sure it's all fine, okay?”

Quinn nodded. “I think I'll go help Carrie. Four hands are better than two and she deserves a break.”

A few minutes later Lacey was still in the laundry room and Quinn was walking across the yard when Carrie came out of the barn. Duke took one look at her heavy jacket and red knitted hat and felt his heart slam against his ribs.

For a man so determined to stay away from responsibilities, he was sure knee-deep in them now. Because he'd meant what he'd said to Quinn. Somehow he'd make sure that everything would work out. For everyone.

Chapter Nine

Carrie stared mindlessly at the television. While it had been great having dinner with Quinn and Duke and Lacey, once she was back home her situation became disturbingly clear.

She didn't normally mind being alone so much. She'd thought about it while she'd worked away in the barns after dinner. After her dad had vanished, she'd had her mom. And after her mom's death, she'd had Joe, who'd stood in as a father figure in so many ways. But Carrie had no one. Quinn had Amber. Duke had Lacey—and other family out there if he was willing to swallow his pride and reach out. Make an effort. How she wished she'd had a brother or sister growing up. The only thing anchoring her life right now was Crooked Valley.

And even that was up in the air. Duke was making an effort, she could see that well enough. He might even choose to stay. But unless Lacey and Rylan came through, the only home she knew was still in jeopardy.

A commercial came on the TV and she burrowed farther into her blanket, but then a swath of headlights swept across the window. With the dark outside, and the lights on inside, she couldn't see the vehicle. But the erratic beat of her heart told her she hoped it was Duke. And, oh, that was bad news.

She went to the door and peeked through the hole. Sure enough, Duke stood there, still dressed in his good jeans and his heavy jacket and Stetson, looking way sexier than she was comfortable with, carrying a bag of something in his hands.

She opened the door. “What are you doing out here?”

“Nice greeting. Makes a guy feel all warm and fuzzy.”

“Sorry. Come on in.” She stepped aside, feeling off balance. It had become a put-on-your-jammies-and-have-hot-cocoa night and not the optimal time to have an irresistible man show up on her doorstep. Especially a man she'd slept with. As if she could wipe
those
images from her brain...

“I brought you leftovers,” he announced. “Quinn took some home with him, and I took a dish with tomorrow's lunch for me, but you didn't get anything.”

“I could have gotten it tomorrow.”

“But then I wouldn't be here.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Yes, that's my point.”

He put the bag down on the floor. “Was it that bad? Do you really want me to go?”

He was talking about their night together. She knew it and he knew it and avoiding him for a few weeks had only postponed this conversation. A conversation she was scared to have. It would be so stupid to take on a relationship knowing it was probably temporary. And a very good way for her to get hurt.

“I don't know what to say, Duke.”

“Try the truth.”

But the truth was the most difficult thing of all, making her vulnerable. “The truth is it's easier to put things in perspective when you're not around. When you're standing right in front of me, logic flies right out the window.”

He chuckled. “I'm flattered.”

She turned away. “It's not a compliment.”

He laughed again. “That's why I'm flattered.”

“You're impossible!”

He took off his boots and left them at the door, then picked up the bag. “You should put this stuff in the fridge.”

Exasperating, that was what he was. Carrie snatched the bag from his hand and took it to the kitchen, plunking it down on the counter.

“Easy,” he said, his socked feet soundless on the floor. “There's pie in there.”

She took out plastic dishes of turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes, peas and pie, and would have put them all in the fridge except he stayed her hand with his fingers. “Leave the pie. I've got a hankering for another piece.”

“I don't remember asking you in for pie,” she pointed out, wondering why she was being so snippy when she'd just been sitting here feeling alone and isolated. Now she had company and she was being rude.

“Miss Coulter, might I join you in a piece of this delicious pumpkin pie?” he asked, a twinkle in his eye and his voice as sweet and smooth as buckwheat honey. He looked so entreating that she couldn't resist, and a smile crept across her lips.

“You're incorrigible.”

“So I've been told.”

She put the other dishes in the fridge and returned, taking two forks out of a drawer. “Let me get a few plates,” she said, reaching for a cupboard handle.

“We don't need plates.” He popped open the dish. “Here.”

He rested his hips against the counter and plunged his fork into the pie. Fascinated, she watched as he lifted the fork to his lips and popped the morsel into his mouth. “Aren't you going to join me?” he asked, holding out the dish.

She hesitated.

“Come on,” he cajoled. “It's so good. Creamy and rich and spicy, just the way I like it.”

Her cheeks flamed. That had been deliberate. He was trying to provoke her and it was working.

She took a small piece on her fork and ate it. “There, satisfied?” she asked.

He met her gaze. “Not even close.”

He put more pie on his fork and held it out for her to taste. “Come on, Carrie,” he urged, his voice low. “It's delicious.”

“You're trying to seduce me with pie,” she said, embarrassed that it was actually working. Pumpkin pie and flannel pajamas. Not exactly your typical sexy trappings for a seduction scene.

Duke put down the fork. “Truth?” he asked, his gaze steady on hers. “I don't want to stay away from you any longer. I understand why you took a step back. Things got a little intense. I know you're concerned about what the men might think and how that might affect your authority. I'm not oblivious, Carrie. But I'm tired of pretending I don't want to be with you when I do.”

Her breath came out in a rush. This was definitely worse than the pie....

“I know nothing is settled. I don't know what's going to happen with Crooked Valley and I can't—I won't—make promises that I don't know if I can keep. I don't know what the future holds, and if we take this anywhere at all we both need to accept that going in.”

“You really think it'll be easy to walk away when the time comes? I'm not naive, Duke. I know there's a good chance you'll be going again, and where will that leave me? I'm not sure how resilient I am. I'm not the kind of girl who can engage in a torrid affair without feelings involved.”

He put the dish down on the counter. “Are you saying you're in love with me, Carrie?”

“God, no.” It was far too soon to even consider such a thing. “But I'm not lying to myself, either. If we carry on the way we started, it won't be a breeze to shake hands and say good luck in the end.”

“So you'd rather stop it in its tracks. Avoid that type of situation altogether.”

She nodded.

He took two steps forward, until he was standing directly in front of her. To her surprise he reached out and took her hands in his. “Part of what the military taught me was that there are never any guarantees. Never any absolutes. Maybe I'm leaving again, maybe I'm not. We never know if we're going to be here tomorrow or next month or next year, but we can't stop living because of it.” He squeezed her fingers. “I don't know how this will end, but I know I want to be with you. Spend time with you. I feel better when you're around. Not to mention the crazy chemistry we have going on.”

Chemistry indeed. It had zinged between them from that very first dance at the saloon, refusing to be ignored.

“I'm here until the New Year at least,” he said quietly. “We can be discreet.”

“A secret,” she answered, her brows pulling together a bit.

“No, not a secret. That makes it sound like we're ashamed.” He gazed into her eyes. “I'm not. We're adults. We don't need to sneak around. I just mean...maybe we can hold on to our privacy. What we do is our business.”

It was the oddest proposition she'd ever received, and yet it was the most heartfelt, too. He wasn't making pretty promises; he was being completely honest. She wasn't into taking chances with her heart, but something he said struck a chord, too. What was she going to do, lock herself away in this house waiting for a guarantee that she wouldn't get hurt? That didn't make any sense, either.

But this was a different sort of choice. This was deliberately moving forward knowing perfectly well that the odds were it wouldn't last. Could she take the leap and just commit herself to enjoying a month of Duke and then walking away?

He let go of one of her hands and lifted his, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “I came out here tonight because I was sitting alone and I knew you were sitting alone and it didn't make any sense when we like being together.” He kissed her softly, his mouth tugging slightly on her lips, making her knees wobble a little bit. “I can't stop thinking about kissing you. About making love to you. I can't stand the idea that our one time was our last time. That's why I'm here, Carrie. I'm not ready to give up yet. And I had to know if you felt the same.”

This was the moment where she could say no and end it right here. The future was in front of her, and all she could see was a blurry gray area with no focus. What was crystal clear, though, was the next several weeks. She could say no and face days of the same empty house over and over, of a few evenings at the bar with Kailey doing exactly the same thing, of an empty holiday with sympathy invitations for poor single Carrie. Or she could put her hand in Duke's and they could navigate these few weeks together. She could let the future take care of itself—it always did in the end, as she well knew.

“I don't want to get hurt,” she murmured, lifting her eyes to his.

“And I'll do my best not to hurt you. Can't we just take it one day at a time? Not worry about the future?”

She swallowed. His fingers were rubbing over her knuckles and she knew there was only one answer she could give. The one she truly wanted to give, and all that was holding her back was fear.

Her fingers clasped his tightly and, with her heart pounding, she tugged his hand and began the short walk down the hall to her bedroom. Once inside, she shut the door behind them, enclosing them in the intimate space, the centerpiece of the room being the double bed.

“You're sure?” he asked quietly.

“I'm not the kind to have affairs. To think about the here and now and not the future. Maybe I need to learn how to do more of that.” She looked up at him and found a little more confidence. “When you lose the people you love, you sometimes forget to keep living. You think you're protecting yourself from getting hurt again. But maybe you miss out on a lot of good things, too. I think I need some good things in my life. I think I need you, Duke. For however long I can have you.”

“I think I need you, too,” he replied, grazing his thumb over her cheek. “Let's just take it as it comes. If either of us needs to back off at any time...no hard feelings.”

He made it sound so logical. Could it really be that simple?

“No hard feelings,” she echoed. And whatever misgivings that remained were forgotten as he reached for her.

* * *

B
LACK
F
RIDAY
DIDN
'
T
actually dawn. The sky turned marginally lighter as big flakes of snow fluttered to the ground, building up on the corners of Carrie's bedroom window. Carrie blinked and rolled slightly, staring at the curve of Duke's shoulder. Lord, he was beautiful. And strong. And way too charismatic for her good.

She wasn't sure at all about this new arrangement they had going—she had a sneaky suspicion that it would leave her hurt in the end. And yet...there was a warm glow inside her that she knew was down to Duke and his attention. He made her feel beautiful, desirable, wanted. It was something very new. She had never considered herself much of a girlie girl, but Duke made her feel...womanly.

She giggled a little, amazed at even having those thoughts. What in the world had come over her?

Duke stirred and rolled over, his eyes slowly opening. “Well. I guess I slept over.”

“I guess you did,” she answered, secretly pleased that he hadn't felt the need to get up and leave in the middle of the night. Waking up beside him was kind of special, and a first for her.

Five weeks,
she reminded herself.
In five weeks he could be gone. For once, just enjoy it, girl.

“Is it snowing?”

“It looks that way.” She snuggled closer to him since her heat hadn't kicked in. “We should get back to the ranch. But you're so nice and warm....”

His arms came around her. “It's freezing in here. Your nose is like ice.”

She had the thermostat set to go down at night to save on heating bills. “I like warm covers and cool air for sleeping,” she answered. “I'll go turn up the heat.”

The floor was cold on her feet and she zipped out to the hall, turned up the main thermostat and ran back to bed, jumping back under the covers. “I think the temp really dropped last night.”

“Do you think everything is okay at home?” Duke raised up on an elbow.

“It's just a regular snowfall. The stock will be fine.” She grinned, secretly pleased that he'd referred to the ranch as
home.
“Are you worried about them?”

“Maybe a little.”

“That's good. It shows you care.” She rolled over to her back. “You know, Quinn and the boys will have things under control. It would be a good day for me to show you some of the records, and I've got some decisions to make for next spring and what we're going to seed. It's a delicate balance, caring for the longevity of the land and trying to produce the best beef possible.”

“I'm learning there's a lot of science to ranching. It's not just feeding animals and then selling them off.”

“Joe always said he wanted the ranch land to still be rich and fertile hundreds of years from now, so it could support and sustain.”