Harlem Girl Lost (24 page)

The three lifted their glasses even higher and sipped.

“And you two”—Missy spoke softly—”really were meant to be. I just wanna ask one favor.”

Silver glanced curiously at Missy, who appeared to be near tears. “Anything, Missy,” she promised.

“Promise me this will be the last time you two ever part.”

Silver again felt heat flush her face, and she put her head down. After a moment, she looked up and nodded, as did Chance.

Missy was not satisfied. “No! I want you both to say it out loud, with a kiss on the lips.”

Silver and Chance looked each other in the eyes, and electricity shot through Silver's body. They both said yes and kissed each other while Missy looked on proudly.

“Okay, I'm gonna leave y'all two lovebirds alone to catch up, and hopefully y'all two can stay out tonight so I can get my groove on, ‘cause it's some cuties up in here that should be havin’ my baby, baby!”

Silver and Chance laughed at her brazen rendition of Biggie Smalls, but they both got the message.

“Now I'm going to the bathroom. Hand me my purse, Silver.”

Silver passed Missy her purse and watched her rush off to the ladies’ room. Then she turned to Chance and smiled.

Inside one of
the toilet stalls, Missy untwisted a small piece of aluminum foil filled with rocks of crack. She pulled out a glass
stem, inserted a piece of crack inside it, and then fished around in her purse. She pulled out her cigarettes and lit one to mask the smell of the crack. Taking a quick, hard pull from the Newport, she placed it on the floor and nervously lifted the glass stem to her mouth and put the flame of her lighter to it. She took a deep pull from the pipe and the stem crackled. Instantly, the euphoria of the drug invaded her body. Her eyes widened and sweat oozed out her pores.

At their table
, Chance and Silver made small talk. Silver seemed hesitant to talk about their parting four years earlier. He too avoided the topic. “So how long you been back in town?” he asked.

Silver nearly had to yell over the loud music. “About a week.”

Chance shook his head. “How was Atlanta?”

“What?”

He edged closer. “How was Atlanta?”

She glanced at him. “It was nice. Atlanta is beautiful.”

He nodded, then looked down to see Hollis at the bar talking to a girl. Chance never partied with his crew, ever. He tried to keep his business separate from pleasure, and the only reason he was here tonight was because Missy had told him Silver wanted to meet him here. Chance began to frown as he thought about how he and Hollis had seemed to be at odds lately over money.

Hollis wasn't getting many contracts these days, and because of the way he tricked with a different chick each night, he was going broke. Hollis dogged Chance every day, telling him that these weak-ass niggas throughout Harlem were getting
rich pumpin’ crack while he starved. Hollis had a plan to extort or murder all other dealers and take over their spots. The way Hollis figured it, they should spread out and get a bigger piece of the lucrative crack business. Chance knew that it was fruitless to reason with him, so he stalled him by throwing him an extra two thousand a week, hoping to shut him up. Whenever Chance saw Hollis, he knew that it would be kickin’ the same old shit.

After a few uncomfortable moments of silence, he and Silver began to speak at the same time. They laughed over their timing.

“I'm sorry.” Silver chuckled. “You go first.”

“No, you first,” Chance said.

“Missy said that you wanted to see me tonight.”

“She told me the same thing about you.”They both laughed when they realized Missy had set them up. He could tell something was on Silver's mind, something that needed to be said. She somberly looked at him.

“Chance, I need to know something before we go any further.”

He said nothing, but waited for her to continue.

“Do you remember that night you dissed me in front of your friends and put me the hell out your house?”

Chance had known this was coming and sighed. “Yes,” he said. “Let me explain.”

“No, you don't have to explain a damn thing, Chance. I already know.”

For a brief, pain-filled moment, Chance wanted to beg for forgiveness, but Silver was speaking again.

“You did that because you loved the shit out of me, didn't you?”

Chance was at a loss for words. Silver grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer.

“Come here,” she said, and kissed him passionately. Her fingers caressed his face. “For four years, I tried to hate you.” She looked deep into his eyes. “But I couldn't. So I did the next best thing and put you out of my mind. Until tonight I never understood why you did what you did that night. You knew I had lied about getting into college, didn't you?”

Chance nodded.

Silver shook her head. “You found out from Missy, and then read the letter I threw in the trash can.” She paused, tears filling her eyes. “Chance, baby … you did what you did for me.” She clasped his hands and placed them on her chest. “You put your feelings aside for me—for me, because you refused to allow me to lose focus on my life or dreams.”

Chance broke in. “Silver, I love you more than I love myself. I always have. I knew that once you made up your mind to do something, that's it.” He slowly shook his head. “What type of man would I be if I allowed you to do something like that? I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. I love you too, too much to be that selfish, so I did the only thing I knew to do— push you away.”

Tears began to fall from Silver's eyes. The ambience could not have been better as the smooth and soothing voice of Sade filtered throughout the club. Chance caressed her face and kissed her tears away as she hugged him. “I'm sorry if I hurt you, Silver.”

She laid her head on his chest and looked up at him “You know what?”

“What?”

She gestured toward the couples on the dance floor. “That's something that we never did before.”

He glanced at the crowd below. “Dance?”

“Yeah. You want to?”

Chance shrugged. “Okay.” As he stood, his cell phone slipped out of his coat pocket onto the floor, but he didn't notice as he took Silver by the hand and helped her scoot out of the booth. They walked down the stairs to the dance floor, and then he cleared his throat. “Silver … I got something to tell you.”

“What?”

“This is my first time.”

“What, at this club?”

He grimaced. “No, this will be my first time ever dancing.”

She looked at him as if he were joking. “Chance, you never danced before?”

He shook his head.

“Don't worry, baby,” Silver assured him. “I'm gonna hold you down no matter what.”

She took him by the hand, led him to the middle of the floor, then took both his hands and wrapped them around her waist. She placed her arm around his neck. As if they were part of a finely tuned instrument, everything fit perfectly— no instructions were needed. They danced through three slow jams by Sade, Luther, and Teddy. Enough said. It was time to leave.

Chance whispered in her ear, “You ready?”

Silver nodded and said, “Let me go tell Missy we're leaving.”

“Okay,” Chance said. Silver handed him her purse and went upstairs to find Missy.

Silver disappeared upstairs, and then Chance felt a tap on the shoulder. He turned and saw Hollis smiling widely, a young girl behind him loudly smacking on chewing gum.

“Fuck you doing here, nigger?” Hollis asked, giving him a pound. “I thought yo’ ass don't get down like this and party with small-timers.”

“Naw, man.” Chance grinned. “You know, nigger got to live sometime.”

Always suspicious, Hollis rubbed his chin. “Nigger, you know goddamn well you on a pussy hunt! Where the bitch at?”

The girl Hollis was with stared seductively at Chance. Hollis made it sound as if he was a Willie-ass nigga. Being the gold-digging hoe she probably was, she wasn't gonna let an opportunity like that slip by. Sticking out her bubbly chest, she continued to eye him as she spoke.

“Hollis, aren't you gonna introduce me to your friend?” She extended her hand to Chance. “Hi, they call me Slim Goody.”

Before Chance could shake her hand, Hollis slapped it away. He looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. “Bitch, if I wanted to introduce you to a nigga I would've. In the meantime, only speak when you spoken to and until then, shut the fuck up!”

Caught off guard, Slim Goody shook it off like a trooper and regained her composure. Still, Chance saw the malicious glint in her eyes.

“Bitches never know when to shut the fuck up,” Hollis
complained. “Anyway, nigga,” he went on with a smile, “so where is the bitch who got my brother nose wide the fuck open?”

“Come on, man,” Chance said, “stay out my business. You know I don't get down like that.”

Just then Hollis noticed Chance was holding a purse. “Oh, shit, this nigger is strung. She got you waitin’ on the sidelines holding her purse like a straight bitch!”

“Fuck you, man. Handle your business and stay the fuck out of mines!”

“Yo, come on man. You know I'm just fuckin'with you. But nigger, you better do like I do and treat all these broads like hoes, because that's all they are.” He slapped the girl on her thick ass.

Chance grew bored. “Yo, I'm about to bounce.” He gave Hollis a pound, but Hollis stopped him.

“Yo, nigga, what's up with that thing I told you about? My man Papone wants to make us a sweet deal. We can put everything on lock.”

Chance stared at Hollis, who, like a fool, continued bragging.

“Let's keep this shit gangsta, nigga. You know how I do. I already got these weak niggas shook—all we got ta do is hook up with Papone. Give me the word and I'll air these fake Harlem bitches out, the Italians and whoever else, son! I don't give a fuck. I'm ready to touch sumtin’ anyway.”

Chance stared at him. “You know what, nigger? You're a fucking idiot! You run your fucking mouth like shit is gravy.” Chance looked at Slim Goody, then back at Hollis. “All it takes
is one motherfucker to run their fucking mouth to the feds, and a nigga is ass out. Nigger, I don't know what you're talking about, and even if I did, I wouldn't fuck with a stupid-ass nigger who would get me trapped off!”

Hollis tapped his fingertips on the gun he had tucked in his waistband. Chance was the only person alive who could get away with talking to Hollis like that. Hollis wasn't afraid to die, so that didn't matter to him. What mattered most to Hollis was maintaining the lifestyle that he led. He was a gangster and loved doing gangster shit, and he wouldn't give that up for anything.

Hollis merely smiled. “A'ight, nigger, you got it. I'll just handle my own shit. I was just giving a nigga an opportunity be independent from them doo-wops. I guess some niggas like being the fuckin’ help.”

Chance chucked him a sarcastic smile and walked away, though he glanced back once to see that Hollis’ smile had evaporated.

He heard Slim Goody say to Hollis, “Buy me a drink.”

Hollis slapped her on the ass.

Walking toward the bathroom
, Silver saw Missy coming out quickly, as if she didn't notice her. “Yo, Missy, you don't see me?” Silver yelled as she grabbed her by the arm. Missy stared blankly in Silver's face. Silver looked at her with shock and concern. “Missy, what's the matter?” Sweating bricks, mouth twisted, Missy could barely speak. Silver backed up and looked her up and down. “What the fuck you been doing?” asked Silver.

“Um … I sniffed a lil’ bit of coke with my girlfriend inside the bathroom.”

“Not for nothing, but that shit got you looking fucked up right now. Let's go back in the bathroom to get you together.” Silver took her by the arm and led her back into the ladies’ room.

Silver waited with Missy in the bathroom until she had come down from her high and was presentable. She also knew from experience not to push or preach to Missy on the drug issue, because that would only make things worse. Addicts would slam the door on you in a minute, and so she promised herself she would wait until Missy was ready to talk. She gave Missy the once-over. “Much better,” she joked. “You think you can handle yourself now?”

“Girl, please,” Missy said. “I just glad you gonna get some dick in your ass tonight, ‘cause you starting to act like an old woman.”

“Who said I was sleeping with him tonight?”

“Bitch, you ain't had no dick in four years. Don't even try it, ‘cause you been creaming on yourself since I mentioned Chance's name.”

Silver knew she was right. “Anyway, hoe, I'm gonna go. You sure you're all right?”

“Girl, get ya ass on out of here before one of those scandalous-ass bitches try to steal your man.”

“All right, but I'm gonna call you to make sure you got home okay.”

“Sure, whatever you like.”

Silver found Chance, who already had their coats in his arms. “You ready?”

Hollis was sitting
at the bar, fingering the pantyless Slim Goody, when he noticed Chance leaving with a good-looking woman. He stared at them and tried to remember where he had seen the light-skinned girl before. He shrugged it off and got back to exploring the girl's insides.