Hardcore Volume 3 (3 page)

I LAY COCOONED IN my comforter the next morning, my eyes on the bare window of my new room. I’d woken to the unfamiliarity of a new place, boxes lining the bare walls, artwork propped against them. My life was a mess in more than a few ways, but leaving felt good. Knowing I could walk into the kitchen without seeing Jade, knowing I may never see her again — all of it was a comfort. Maybe I could let it go. Start over.

I rolled over onto my back and looked up at the ceiling. Wide beams ran across the room, interspersed with hanging lights. No pipes, no wires. I’d left them behind, along with my baggage. Abandoned it all with Jade, where it belonged. All except for Van. I’d carry the burden of what I’d done to him around with me forever.

My chest ached, though the hurt had burned down to embers. I’d done everything I could. Now I just had to live with the consequences.

I slipped out of bed and through the quiet loft, into the bright kitchen to dig through one of the many boxes on the counter for coffee filters, thinking through everything on my list for the day. Mostly, I’d be unpacking, although I’d be meeting Jill after school. It was time to tell her everything. I played over that speech, imagining her reaction, hoping she would still accept me when it was all said and done.

Three boxes later, my fingers grazed the crinkling plastic around the coffee filters, and I almost cheered. I pulled them out, but my smile fell when I realized I still didn’t have the actual coffee. I sighed and kept digging.

Erin walked in, yawning, black hair tossed.

“Hey,” I said over my shoulder.

“I slept like a million bucks, dude.” She stretched and sat down at the table. “You?”

I hit the end of the box I was on and moved to one at the table. “So good. Being away from her … I don’t know. It feels fresh.”

“I know what you mean. I forgot how much I fucking hate moving though.”

I laughed into the box of random kitchen shit.

Morgan blew into the room, phone in hand, looking bedraggled and wired with Cher in her wake. “Guys, Sammy and Trevor got arrested.”

Erin’s eyes went wide. “For real?”

Morgan nodded. “I’ve been watching the news and checking police blotters for word. There’s an article in the Times. Check it out.”
 

She handed me the phone, and I read the article aloud. “Trevor Vargas and Samuel Paulson were arrested and charged with grand larceny after police discovered a warehouse containing stolen property when responding to a fire department request for backup. Both men are being held without bail at the Manhattan Detention Complex.” I set her phone down on the table. “Do you think they’ll come after us?”

Morgan picked up her phone and flipped it around in her hand. “I don’t know. They’re at the top of their ring … they run their whole operation and deal with other fences as individuals, if what Jace and Jade say is true. They might go after Jace and Jade, but what could they really do? They’re in jail, and it sounds like they’re not getting out. They’re not big enough to orchestrate a takedown from prison.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. It feels too easy. What if they send someone after Jade and Jace? Because if anyone approaches them with even a hint of a threat, they’ll rat me out in a second.”

Morgan folded her arms. “We need to just bust them too.”

“No. I’m over it. I’m done.”

She snorted. “I don’t know how. I’m not over it, and it didn’t even happen to me.” She flopped down into a chair. “Seriously, it would be so easy. We just crawl back to her for another job and bam, set her up. She’d never see it coming because she’s such a megalomaniac. She’d buy it without a second thought.”

“It’s just not worth it, Morgan. I feel like we’ve pressed our luck enough times to keep putting ourselves at risk.”

“But what about Jill? Do you really think Jade’s going to leave her alone? She doesn’t let
anything
go, Cory. I don’t think she’s going to start now, not after everything that’s happened.”

Dread twisted through me, but I shook it off. “She’d better drop it. I’d like to think that she knows better than to push me, at this point.”

“Me too, but Jade never learns,” Morgan said with the shake of her head.

“I’ll take my chances. It’s possible that she may never find out that we stole the painting back, and if she does, I’ll deal with that when it happens.”

“But—”

“No, Morgan. Just drop it, okay?”

She sighed. “Fine. Did you guys delete your numbers yet?”

I nodded. “I burned all the fake numbers and old texts in my app. She hasn’t tried texting my real number yet.”

“Same,” Cher added, and Erin nodded.

“Good. We should run tonight to celebrate escaping the clutches of the beast.”

Cher stretched. “Ugh, that doesn’t sound like a celebration. I’m exhausted.”

Erin yawned again. “Agreed. Let’s start with coffee, yeah?”

I snorted. “Good luck finding it.”

She rolled her eyes as she stood and pulled it out of the first box she came to. “Please.”

Cher got up. “We need bacon.”

Morgan chuckled and turned to me, dropping her voice. “Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine.”

She looked me over. “Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

She nodded. “Well, if you change your mind …”

I tried to smile. “Thanks, Morgan. I’ll run with you tonight. We’ll ditch these losers and get high.”

Morgan grinned. “The higher the better. Let’s hit Midtown, if you’re looking for a view.”
 

“Deal,” I answered with a smile.

We chatted easily through breakfast, though my mind drifted to Jill, to Jade, to Van, around and around, spinning faster when I retreated to my room to empty boxes, a sad substitute for emptying my cluttered mind.
 

I watched Jill from across the table at Genie’s that afternoon, malts melting and untouched between us. She was surprisingly calm, considering what I’d just told her.

She sat quietly, watching me. “Stealing?”

I nodded.

“With Jade and Erin?”

“And Cher and Morgan. Yes.”

She shook her head. “What the hell, Cory.”

I took a breath, still nervous, even though she seemed calm. “You know we used to run in high school, but once we graduated, Jace sort of stumbled on the opportunity. It was too easy, too much money. I could take care of you, give you what I never had.”

“I feel like scum that you did this for me.”

I reached across the table for her hand. “Don’t. Helping you has been the only good thing about my life for a really long time. It’s the only thing I’m really proud of.”

Her eyes misted up, and she looked down at our hands. “How were you paying for school? What did you do with all the cash?”

“I have a safe deposit box for most of it, your college fund. For school, I use a prepaid credit card. It’s not as hard as you’d think to manage illegal cash. I have a bank account for my legit stuff, work, phone bill, though those are really the only things I use it for. Groceries and stuff.”

“Why even have a job?”

I shrugged and spun my straw in my malt. “I don’t know. I just get bored. I didn’t want to sit around all day and do nothing, and I didn’t want to depend on stealing either, I guess. We all have jobs, everyone but Jade and Jace.”

“I can’t wrap my brain around this. I mean, I’ve known the girls almost all my life, and I never imagined something like this, even though I knew something was up.” She fiddled with a cocktail napkin on the table, rolling the edges between her fingers. “What changed?”

“Jade’s been running things for a long time. You know that guy I told you about?”

Jill raised an eyebrow. “The hot photographer?”

I chuckled through the burn in my chest. “Yeah. He’s rich, and Jade wanted me to steal from him.”

Her face tightened, brow drawn. “Tell me you said no.”

“I couldn’t refuse.”

“Why?” The word was an accusation.

I took a breath. “Because she threatened me.”

Jill gaped, shaking her head, her voice hard. “And you backed down? I somehow can’t believe you’d do that.”

I nodded. “The stakes were too high.”

“What the hell could she have …” She met my eyes, and I saw the recognition behind them. Her voice was soft. “Oh. Me. She threatened me.”

My throat squeezed shut, and I tried to swallow. “There was no way around it, Jill. I had to do what she said, and then I had to walk away. Risking my own life … I don’t care about that. But I’m not going to take part in anything that puts you in danger.”

She was quiet for a moment. “What did she want you to do?”

I sat back in the booth. “He had an expensive painting. Jade and I stole it from him.”

“You told me you were righting a wrong.”

“I stole it back and returned it to him. Told him the truth. It didn’t go well.”

“You could have gone to jail.”

I stuffed my hands into my pockets. “Things definitely could have gone worse. But I think it’s over now. I just want to move on, you know?”

“So Jade’s done? She’s not still blackmailing you?”

“No. We cut ties with her and moved out, and I left her with a bloody nose and a few threats of my own. But if you see her, call me. If you ever see anything weird,
anything
, tell me. Okay?”

“All right.” She watched me for another moment. “What was she going to do to me?”

My lips pressed into a flat line, and I shook my head. “I’m not telling you that, Jilly.”

“I want to know.”

I leaned forward, laid my forearms on the table, and pinned her with a look. “You don’t. It won’t do any good. Just know that I won’t let anything happen to you.”
 

Jill conceded, which was good. I didn’t want to fight here, and there was no way in hell I’d tell her the details. She changed the subject, mercifully. “So, what are you going to do now?”

I let out a sigh. “I don’t even know. I can’t imagine having a job in a cubicle or something. Like, a
career.
What the fuck is that, even?”

Jill laughed. “The thought of you in a cubicle with a lady suit on is hilarious. You should wear glasses and put your hair in a super tight bun.”

I snorted. “Sounds like a bad porno.” I shook my head. “No, I’ll keep working and try to figure out what to do. I’ve got enough money saved for us to live on while I figure it out.”

She looked across the table at me with eyes shining. “Thank you for telling me. Thank you for watching over me.”

I reached for her hand. “You’re welcome. I’m sorry. I just wanted to take care of you, but I think I got lost somewhere along the way.”

Jill threaded her fingers through mine and smiled. “But you’re finding your way back.”

“I’m trying.”

“You’re doing. I love you, and I’ve always got your back.”

And as tears burned my eyes, the only words I could find were the reason for everything, the reason why I’d do it all again. “I love you, too.”

MIDTOWN STRETCHED UP BEFORE me in the distance just after dusk as I ran a ledge and jumped, twisting my shoulders to corkscrew into a 180 to land the roof below.

Two weeks had passed quietly by without Jade, for the most part. It was enlightening to live without her, like we’d been oppressed for years without realizing just how bad things were. Not until we pulled back the curtain and saw it for what it was, looked at everything from a distance.

Jade hadn’t fully given up on us. The texts and calls started rolling in after a week, and when they went unanswered, she showed up at the coffee shop where Morgan worked. She didn’t come back, though — not after Morgan threw her out. Literally chucked her ass out the door and onto the sidewalk.

She’d been the most aggressive with me. Emails. Messages. I would have to answer her at some point, I knew, but her desperation hadn’t reached critical mass. Not yet. Jade hadn’t mentioned the painting or Sammy and Trevor, and I assumed she didn’t know what we’d done. If she did, she would have been in touch for entirely different reasons.

I side-flipped over a vent, pulling into a handspring, feeling my body stretch and bend, then the jolt as I landed flat on my boots and took off running again.

The fences were still in jail, and it didn’t seem like they were getting out any time soon, at least from what we could tell. So, we relaxed. Worked our ‘real’ jobs. Spent hours piled on hours binging on Netflix and playing video games. We read books. Ran. We’d been happy. Normal.
 

I couldn’t say I didn’t miss the high of a heist, though.

The nights were long and lonely, spent reliving my mistakes. Van ran through my thoughts, leaped and climbed around my mind and in my heart. I wasn’t much closer to letting him go than I was when I saw him last. But I’d held onto the acceptance I’d found with the tenacity of someone determined to keep moving forward, no matter how badly I wanted to go back.

The buildings climbed higher as I reached the heart of the city, and the closer I came to Logan Tower, the tighter my heart twisted, as it always did. Going there was a deliberate torture, forcing me to reconsider my mistakes. I swore every time it would be the last. Hoped each time that I could say goodbye to him, let him go. Scaled the buildings terrified that he would be there. Terrified that he wouldn’t.