Hard Luck Hank: Screw the Galaxy (6 page)

I took a catnap to clear my head and moseyed
back to my trusty drug dealer Grever Treest. Invasion or not, I still had an
assignment and I was holding a lot of floppy-ears’ money.

Grever was, if possible, more edgy than he had
previously been.

I figured out why soon enough when he let me
inside and the first thing he asked me about was the Dredel Led. It seems
Rendrae had released an “Extra” of
The News
and it was entirely about
our robot friends. He also pulled out all the stops and somehow had a potpourri
of data regarding Colmarians’ previous encounters with the race.

I was surprised to read that the Dredel Led
were the catalyst for Colmarian mutation experiments.

It seems every empire at some point or other
takes a shot at the Colmarian Confederation. It’s like a right of passage. But
when the Dredel Led came knocking we didn’t have super weapons, or vast
resources, or exotic alien physiology, or the overwhelming efficiency that
comes from being ruled by just a handful of species. What we did have was the
largest amount of biodiversity times a zillion.

So we started cobbling all that together in an
attempt to create mutations. Now everyone is subjected to it. Mutants are
basically organic landmines that make it harder for us to be conquered.

So that was our great strategy: make it simply
not cost-effective to try to invade us.

I knew why we did mutations. I just didn’t know
it was the Dredel Led that made us start. Rendrae mentioned the fact that we
were losing a war against them and that’s what made us take the plunge into
tinkering with our own population. I suppose at the time it was a pretty radical
idea, but we’ve been doing it for so long now, it’s just the way it is.

Anyway, after reading that, I found the second
reason why Grever Treest was so antsy. He took me into his bedroom and his
entire bed was covered in drugs. It was the largest flat surface he could find.

He began detailing all the things he had
scored.

“This one isn’t Blue Horizon, but it’s got kind
of the same effect. I got four samples of your L-joccaine. This one has more of
a mild burn. This is strong, but short in duration. The other two are solid,
but kind of lighter, more of a haze than a blaze, you know?”

Grever spoke with encyclopedic knowledge about
each and every drug, but all I could see was that I had totally screwed up.

I had stupidly assumed that when he said he would
get half of the list, he was literally going to go down and get half of each
individual drug. So when I went out trying to fill the rest of it, I bought the
remaining half, or as close as I could.

So what I was looking at was basically 150% of
some drugs and 0% of others. Some were replaced with completely different drugs
and some were “almost” the same.

I didn’t know how drug deals worked intimately,
but I figured I had accomplished about a third of what I was supposed to using
all the money I was given, less about seven grand. If it was any other kind of
transaction, it would be a total botch. I was just hoping this was how drug
deals always worked.

I could see Jyen being really pissed and not
paying me. I mean the only good thing was that I already got the money for it
and at least nothing would come out of my pocket. If she was only interested in
those exact drugs in those exact quantities…well, I could tell her to file a
claim with Garm.

Grever was still speaking rhapsodically about
the literal mound of narcotics in front of us.

“…this one will knock you flat, but don’t mix
it with this or it might stop your heart. Ah, one of my favorites is this
Oranium, which was crazy hard to find. I have this buddy who just—”

“Hey,” I interrupted. “Can you write all this
down? I’m not going to remember any of it. And you need to put what amount you
got. Oh, and we need to add it all up with my stuff.”

I took out my bag of drugs and laid it on the
bed. Grever was momentarily at a loss.

“Write it down? Yeah. I mean, I guess.”

“Do you think my buyer is going to care that I
didn’t fill the list specifically? I mean all this stuff is way different.”

“Nah. This is hot material. I pulled out all
the stops for you, Hank. No one’s going to be upset when they see this,” he said,
spreading out his arms almost angelically over his bed.

We tallied up the haul as Grever made copious
comments on every article. He was writing a paragraph on every little drug and
I realized we weren’t going to get out of here for days, so I limited him to
one sentence apiece.

As soon as we came to any of the drugs I had
bought he became instantly derogatory. My stuff was junk. Feeble. It was old.
Cut. Probably half-strength at best. I’d overpaid. He wanted to make it clear
in the notes which drugs had been provided by him and which were the ones I had
procured.

It took several hours but we got it all down.

I wasn’t exactly sure what to do next. The
shyster in me wanted to just throw it all in a very large box, as it was
probably exceeding several hundred pounds at this point, and drop it on Jyen
without the cheat sheet.

She’d have a hard time knowing the lousy state
of affairs if it was all piled up. As I was battling with that moral quandary I
realized I didn’t have any way of carrying it all, jumbled or not.

We finally had to take several bedsheets and
cinch up the corners, and I could lift it like a sack over my shoulder.

I transferred the credits to Grever as agreed.
He gave me three different teles I could reach him at if I happened to want
some drugs in the future. He was certainly a happy guy for doing business with
me. I figure I gave him maybe four to six months of work practically overnight.

Not only that, but he’s likely got wholesale
connections so what I could buy for ten grand he could probably get for half
that, so he just pocketed a whole lot of credits.

As I was hunching my way down the street to the
train with this bag on my back, Grever was practically blowing kisses to see me
off. He’d held up his end I think as well as anyone could, I just wasn’t
looking forward to speaking with Jyen.

The train was empty. I think
The News
and general word about town had everyone thoroughly spooked. And to think just
a few days back people were on edge about a possible gang war. Seemed like a
decade ago and almost quaint in a twisted way.

At home I had not even taken off my shoes when
someone was at the door. I had been getting teles like mad for days, but I had
been ignoring them.

I figured someone had gotten up the nerve to
come for a face-to-face about the Dredel Led. Though I couldn’t tell them
anything that Rendrae hadn’t already printed.

I opened the door and it was Jyen. All
blue-skinned and big-eared and adorable.

“Ah,” I said. “Come in.”

I was still tired, but better to get this over
with as soon as possible. I had some real concerns without this hanging over
me.

She remained outside.

“Do you have what I asked you to get?”

“Well, I have this giant rucksack of drugs, but
the exact contents aren’t, you know, precisely what your list detailed.” I
fumbled with my tele. “I’ve got the specifics here, I can transfer the info.”

“Could you drop them off, please?”

I knew I wasn’t in any place to argue, but some
odd thing in me made me say: “Is this going to take long?”

“No,” she said with a bright smile.

I stepped back inside and heaved the drugs over
my shoulder and headed out. Jyen seemed a bit startled when I came out.

“That’s it?” she asked, pointing to the bag.

It was one of those times again when we were on
different wavelengths. I immediately thought she was asking essentially, “Is
that small amount all that constitutes my drug purchase?” As if I should have
come out dragging a transport ship. Or maybe a destroyer.

“Yes. Yes, this is it,” I answered
sarcastically.

“Oh, it just seems like a lot. Can you carry
that okay?”

My attitude brightened. If she was expecting
less, then maybe this won’t turn out so rotten. Maybe I can make up in quantity
what I was lacking in everything else.

“No, it’s fine.”

She led the way and to my surprise, she
literally entered the apartment building directly across the street from mine.
I suppose that’s how she knew I was home. She must spend her time staring out
the window, checking for her drugs.

We headed up a few flights, mostly because I
was following her. I normally would have taken the elevator. I don’t like
stairs much. Going up stairs I’m positively glacial, especially when carrying
an unwieldy storehouse of narcotics.

We came to her place and she opened the door.

The apartment was completely unfurnished.
Looked unlived in. Except for the druggie sitting on the bare metal floor
against the wall.

“Hank, this is my brother,” Jyen said,
pointing.

I didn’t really care. Yeah it was unusual for
someone who was maybe 5’2” with electric blue skin and practically tentacle-like
ears to say she was related to a 6-foot lanky man with pale skin, an oddly
misshapen face, and from what I could tell under an unkempt mass of scraggly
hair, normal-sized ears. But it was simply none of my business.

What was apparent, though, was that all these
drugs were for him. If anyone on Belvaille was an addict, it was this guy. His
fingernails were long and yellow and almost beastly, and they picked at his
uneven face with an insect-like rhythm.

“Where do you want this?” I asked, looking
around. But there was no difference between here and there, as there was no
furniture. So I just put it on the ground.

The junkie immediately moved closer. He could
probably tell what kind of drugs they were just from the sound they made when
they were laid on the floor.

“Jyonal, this is Hank. He’s the one who’s
helping us,” Jyen said somewhat maternally.

I wasn’t sure how much I was “helping” them,
unless they had an incalculable fear of living long lives and being aware of
their surroundings.

“So,” I began uneasily, “I’ve got these notes
on the drugs.”

Jyonal scurried over and untied the sheets with
his skinny fingers. He spread out the drugs and his mouth opened in what
approximated awe. He brushed his hands over them, turning this and that,
lifting some, smelling others. It was almost animalistic.

He then grabbed one that particularly caught
his eye. He looked at me and reached out and took my hand in his. I don’t have
much of a sense of touch in my palms, but his skin felt rough and flaky. He
then sprinted out of sight into one of the other rooms.

“Yeah. So about the payment and such. I didn’t
make the time we agreed on, I know. And I didn’t quite—”

“Are there really Dredel Led on the station?”
Jyen interrupted.

“What? Uh, yes. I mean I didn’t see them
personally, but I saw a video. We have people looking for them.”

“Have they ever been here before?”

“Not to my knowledge. I mean, I don’t think
they’ve been anywhere in Colmarian space, right? Not for a long time. But about
the drugs.”

She looked down at the pile for the first time.

“We said twenty thousand? Or was it thirty?”

I didn’t know if she was testing me or was
really this forgetful about money. But that seemed unlikely. No one is that
absentminded. Not about credits.

“It’s ten thousand. I didn’t get it to you in
24 hours. Not even sure if it was 48 hours, I’ve been on a weird schedule
lately, what with the robots and all.”

“Oh,” she said casually, like she was perfectly
okay with giving me thirty grand for this mess of drugs she didn’t ask for.

“So then ten thousand?” She walked to a neat
little section of belongings at the other side of the room and took out her
tele.

“Actually, it’s just three thousand. I still
have seven left over from buying.”

I don’t know. Maybe she needs the money more
than me. For upcoming funeral expenses if nothing else. Or to buy a chair for
this apartment.

Jyen looked back at me with an inscrutable
expression. She started to beam me the credits when the building began to
shake.

This was a space station. With metal buildings.
Protected by all manner of shielding and engineering wizardry. Nothing shook
here. Ever.

“Hey! Did you feel that?” I asked.

It was a completely foreign sensation, like
being incredibly drunk yet with a clear head. And then I looked at the walls
and they were bending. Warping, but not shattering or cracking like logic said
they should. Maybe I didn’t have a clear head.

My first thought was that the Dredel Led were
doing something. But when I saw the walls, I figured that some drugs must have
somehow seeped into me or I had accidentally inhaled their fumes. Who knows
what broke apart or came undone while I was carrying them? But I felt fine. I
could see normally. My skull, when I shook it, did not feel clouded. I wished I
had paid more attention to Grever’s drug talk so I could ascertain what I had
absorbed.