Hard Girls (16 page)

Peter was busy getting the barmaid’s attention for a refi their nearest and dearest to her: thin solid; padding:10px; } .yll. ‘How do you think? He’s in a right fucking two and eight. Do you want a refill?’

Patrick nodded.

‘Just shows you though, Pat. Enjoy your life while you’ve got it, you never know when it’s going to be over. Three little kids. Girls and all, they need their mums, girls.’

Patrick nodded. ‘I know that, Pete. Girls do need the female touch.’

Peter turned to face him then and Patrick could see the sorrow on his face as he said, ‘I’m sorry, Patrick, you know better than anyone what it’s like to lose your wife, and your daughter. My fucking big trap, I say things without thinking them through . . .’

Patrick smiled sadly. ‘You’re right though, Pete, you
should
enjoy your life. Take it from me, you don’t know when it’s all going to be snatched from under your nose. Let’s face it, I found that out a long time ago.’

He picked up his drink and looked towards the door that led to the office. Peter grinned then, a mischievous glint in his eye. ‘Go on, my son, get in there, she’s fucking right up for it. I’ve noticed you two circling each other like a pair of bare-knuckle boxers. She’s a nice girl and you ain’t getting any younger, boy.’

Patrick looked into Peter’s face and he saw the age that had crept up on them all. They had known each other for well over thirty years. He had been best man at Peter’s first wedding; seventeen years old and on remand for robbery with violence, he had married his longtime girlfriend of three years to get himself a reduced sentence. But Peter had loved her, and the sad thing was, he still loved her. But he had fucked her over once too often. Women weren’t like men, they couldn’t turn a blind eye unless it suited them. Women knew the score from the off, and their mates gave them the strength to put up with it, until they decided different. Then they moved heaven and earth to see the man concerned pay through every orifice he possessed. Men though, if they had a bird who put it about, they either nutted her on the quiet or, in extreme cases, they swallowed their knobs rather than confront the truth. If they still wanted her back after she had seen fit to stretch herself out for a stranger, then that was their prerogative. It even made sense in some ways. Pat understood how a deep love could overcome the humiliation and the shame that a woman out on the cock could bring to a man. Personally, he would rather die than be made a fool of by anyone, let alone a female. Females, to his mind, should be above reproach, and intelligent enough to know that without him having to point it out to them.

Winking saucily at Peter Bates, he made his way through to the office. As Pete said, life was too fucking short. He felt the excitement deep in the pit of his stomach, it had been years since he felt like this. He was almost breathless at the thought of her waiting for him.

As he slipped through the doorway, he wondered what had kept him from approaching her for so long. After all, as he knew better than anyone, you really did only live once.

Annie Carr was tired, and it showed. She looked at herself dispassionately in the toilet mirror and felt once more that she had long passed her sell-by date. She looked dishevelled, unkempt. Her skin was grey from lack of sleep and bad nutrition. Her hair needed a wash and a decent cut, her shoes were scuffed and worn for comfort and familiarity. At her age, she was in her prime if she believed the magazines she read in the canteen. She was also aware that she was letting life pass her for him.’ftmargin-top: 0.5em; b dby at an alarming rate. Turning from the mirror, she hurried away from her own reflection.

As she walked into her office, she smiled sheepishly at Kate. Kate was very quiet, and Annie knew it was because of how she had been acting towards her, she knew she had been out of order. She’d taken out her frustrations on her friend, even going as far as to question Kate coming back to her own home. It was outrageous, because she knew that Kate would have welcomed her wholeheartedly if their positions had been reversed. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Kate. I’m sorry.’

Kate looked at her friend, saw the stoop of her shoulders, the scruffiness of her attire, the sadness that enveloped her, and knew she was no different to her really. She had also taken out her frustrations on the person closest to her. And she’d also walked back into her house and taken it over without a thought for Annie, who had lived there for a long time and paid her for that privilege. But it went deeper than that, and they both knew it. She opened her own arms wide, and the two women hugged each other tightly.

‘I am so sorry, Kate . . .’

‘Listen, Annie, this is all part and parcel of being on a big case. You live, breathe and eat the fucker, and anyone who stands in your way gets the flak. If you want to stay in this game you have to accept that no one else matters in the pursuit of a resolution. I’ve fallen out with everyone in my time, and so will you. But take my advice, Annie, don’t make the job your whole life. Leave something over for someone else. Don’t leave it until it’s too late, you’ll regret it.’

Kate was genuinely sorry for Annie, because she knew that if she wasn’t careful she would end up not only alone, but achingly lonely. Annie reminded her so much of herself all those years ago. Still young enough to believe that there was time for a real life, but she would keep putting it off like Kate had. Then, one day, when you looked around, it was all gone, and the worst thing was, you never saw it happening until it was all too late.

Annie smiled sadly. ‘I think it’s already too late for me, Kate. I stopped dating while I still had the looks. It didn’t seem to matter so much then, I just wanted a career. I wanted to be successful, wanted my life to make a difference somehow. But this has shown me how fucking futile it all is. We have all these dead girls, and nothing to go on. We have the papers and the public on our backs, wanting answers sooner rather than later. We have a man who has enough time to not only knock these girls out, but to torture them. After he makes them a cup of tea, of course. He then cleans up after himself, and wipes the whole place down. There is nothing for us to use, Kate, he has
always
pre-empted us. He has always made sure he is at least one step ahead. You’re right, I shouldn’t make my job my life, because I can’t even say with any certainty that I have any kind of life outside of work. All I ever wanted was this.’ She opened her arms wide, taking in the room and everything it encompassed.

‘This was all I needed. Now what I think about is the fact that I can’t work out how this man can bypass us on such a regular basis. It’s like we are outside looking in. This man knows more about crime scenes than I do. He leaves the girls dead and no trace at the scene. Nobody sees him, or hears him. We are chasing a ghost, Kate, a fucking ghost.’

Kate knew that Annie was doing what everyone in their job did at some point, she was blaming herself for not stopping him. She was blaming herself because he had got the better of them. good enoughc was thrilledy

‘He’s not a ghost, he’s a living, breathing person. We just need to get a break that’s all.’

Annie looked at her as if she had never seen her before. ‘A break? Kate, he’s fucking laughing up his sleeve at us. We have
nothing
, do you get that?
Nothing
. He must think we are all complete idiots.’

Kate hated the disillusionment in Annie’s voice, hated that she was already giving up, that she felt they wouldn’t be capable of finding this man.

‘Oh, Annie, you
stupid
girl, you
stupid
,
stupid
girl. Do you think we just wake up one day and
know
everything? This all takes time and experience, love. No one in the world can really understand why some people choose to do really terrible things to other people. Innocent people, people that end up dead. We have to try and find out who killed them, and why. That is our job, it’s what we do. Now there will always be someone who writes about it all,
after
the event. Psychiatrists who will try and explain away why this ponce felt the urge to kill these young girls. But listen to me, Annie, it’s
crap
. No one
really
knows why they do it. No one on God’s green earth can pinpoint what made that fucker decide to get up one day and go on a killing spree. It’s all conjecture, all shite.

‘Our job is to try and make some sense of it, try and bring him to task. We have to trawl through the statements, and the evidence we have gathered, and somehow we are expected to make some kind of sense out of it. You can’t just assume you will work it out. You can only work with what you’ve got. So try and remember that all that is expected of you is that you do the best you can. It’s all any of us can
ever
do, Annie. Our best, and sometimes we have to admit that our best just isn’t good enough. So, do me a favour, will you? Fucking grow up.

‘This bloke has been planning this for a very long time, and he has the edge because of that. We have to try and understand his logic. Even though it makes no sense to us, it makes sense to
him
, and that is what you have to remember. He has a reason for what he does, and he has the added benefit of planning and forethought. We come in
after
the main event, love. We basically clean up after him. We are the ones who see them dead and bloody. We are the ones who tell the families. We are the ones who try and make it right for the people left behind. But don’t you dare think that you will always find the answers, because you won’t, Annie. You can only work with what you’ve got, and if that isn’t enough, then you have to accept it.’

Annie held her hand across her mouth, as if to stop herself from being sick. Kate felt the pain she was in. It was hard the first time, not that it ever really got any easier. But murder was part and parcel of their job. Most murders had a weird logic to them. A reasoning of sorts. It was the serial murders that made you lose faith, not just in yourself, but in everyone around you. They made you realise that there really were people out there capable of such hate, such extreme violence, and that they lived amongst us. These people were capable of feigning a normality that hid their crimes from the people around them. These people were out there, and they would
always
be out there, no matter how hard you tried to bring them to justice.

Annie had to understand that their job was like any other. You just do the best that you can, even though the Page

Chapter Eight

Patrick was impressed with Eve’s flat. It was large and well proportioned, with high ceilings and original wood floors. She had done a fantastic job of bringing the place together. He knew from experience that it would have cost her a small fortune to have the floors sanded, relaid where necessary, and brought back to their former glory. He also liked the subdued colour scheme and the carefully chosen pieces of furniture. None of the brand-new, DFS, pay-for-it-three-years-later rubbish. Each piece was a work of art in itself. Eve had a good eye for detail, and she obviously liked the comfort that handmade furniture guaranteed. The place looked warm, inviting, and it made Patrick relax. He liked that she was intelligent enough to live in such an environment. It had been a long time since he had visited a woman like this, seriously, with an eye to seeing her again.

Eve seemed as nervous as he was, and he appreciated that she was not accustomed to having men in her home. She had a femininity about her that he found endearing; his first wife had been a lady. That was important to him, he had always had a preference for women who had not been round the turf more times than Shergar. He liked those types now and again, most men did if they were honest, but for the most part they were not really of any interest long-term. Pat was old-fashioned in that respect. He had never wanted an easy lay, not on a permanent basis anyway.

Eve was pouring them both a drink and he saw that the brandy was good, the glasses crystal. Once more, he approved of her choice. He looked at her again and was thrilled by the outline of her clothes. She had a good body: supple, lean and heavy breasted. Pat knew that she was as aware of him as he was of her. There was a tension in the air between them, and it was good, he was enjoying the chase.

Eve smiled at him, and he looked at her face as if for the first time. She was older than he had first thought, and that pleased him. He liked grown women, for the most part always had. Not that he hadn’t taken a flier now and again with young girls, but he didn’t see that as anything important. Eve was ripe for the picking, and they both knew that. It was why he was here, they had been leading up to this from the first time he had laid eyes on her. So why had he waited so long to make a move? Guilt had played a big part, but he was not going to allow himself to let that spoil his enjoyment. Kate was in the past, she had made her feelings quite clear. He pushed her from his mind, she was all he needed now, putting a damper on everything.

He watched Eve as she put on some music. Amy Winehouse filled the room, her dark, smoky voice, full of heartbreak and cigarettes, seemed to encompass everything he was feeling. Sipping his brandy, he put his glass on the mantelpiece. Then, suddenly full of bravado, he went to Eve and pulled her into his arms.

She settled into his body easily, and he enjoyed the smell of her, she wore a subtle perfume, and he could still catch the scent of the soap she used. He pushed his face into her hair. Rubbing his hands to the point of emaciation by the 3club eventually across her back, feeling her shape, he brought her face up to his and she kissed him, a deep, brandy-tasting kiss that made them both realise that the kiss would not be enough.

Eve pulled off her clothes and he watched her quietly, knew that there was no going back now. As she stood before him, naked and proud, he wondered what the fuck had taken him so long.

Peter Bates was drunk. Not too drunk, but drunk enough to have a punch-up if the fancy took him. His girlfriend was getting on his nerves, and he had given her a swerve earlier on in the evening.