Hard Candy (8 page)

“
So, what did you find out?” And why wasn’t she kicking him out of the picture? He was the third wheel, wasn’t he?

She took a deep breath. “My mom’s journal talked about my mom having an affair that summer.”

He frowned. “No way.”

“
It’s true. I mean, I don’t know how long it lasted.” Pulling her knees up, she curled her toes. Hey, when’d she take her shoes off?

Mack didn’t have any kind of foot fetish or something, but he was suddenly struck dumb by the pale pink polish she sported on her toes. It was such an intrinsically feminine thing to do. He wasn’t used to thinking of Penny in that way.

His gut churned and an image of Penny and him in bed flashed through his brain. What the hell? If that wasn’t ten kinds of inappropriate, he wasn’t sure what was.

“
Here’s your wine,” Craig said, as he entered the room again.

Mack drew his gaze away from Penny to stare at Craig. Hell, he could figure out why he was so caught up in Craig, but what was it about Penny that fascinated him so much? Geez. There had to be something wrong with him. Maybe he was still the player he’d been for the past twelve years. So, why did he feel sick to his stomach? Why did he want to be with Craig so much? And why was he so confused now that Penny had entered the picture?

Penny lay curled up on Craig’s couch, a forgotten glass of wine held loosely in one hand. Mack was sitting silently beside her. He’d been here when she arrived back home, but she didn’t mind including him in what had happened. She felt comfortable with him. Surprising, considering it had been so long since she’d seen him, but it was like they were quickly falling back into their old comfort zone. She’d always been able to be herself around both Mack and Craig.

“
So, what happened?” Craig asked.

She stirred. “Aunt Gertie gave me a letter from Dad. It went into detail about that summer and how Mom died.”

“
Shit, did he...?”

“
No. He didn’t confess or anything like that. I really don’t think he had anything to do with it.”

“
Where’s the letter?”

“
Oh!” Penny stood up and went back to the hallway. Grabbing the sheet out of her purse, she returned with the letter. She handed it to Craig. “Here.”

Craig glanced at Mack briefly. “Come on, you can read it with me.”

The two men were silent for a moment before Craig handed the letter back to her.

It hadn’t gone into excruciating detail, but it did contain the poured out words of a bitter, lonely man. Picking it up again, Penny read over the words she nearly had memorized by now, she’d read them so much.

Gertie,

I don’t know how I’m going to go on. Penny is all I have left from my beloved Cerise. Where did I go wrong? I should never have brushed her off. She tried so hard to apologize, to gain my forgiveness for her indiscretion. I was so sure I was right, though. I told her that she’d made her bed and I couldn’t forgive her for what she did.

I was wrong. I see that now. If I had only listened to her. If I had only talked to her. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully understand what happened when she died. But, I do know that I’ll go to my own grave wishing I’d done things differently.

I should have told her it was okay, that whatever happened with Ed Lawler wasn’t her fault. It was mine. Our relationship was strained and he came in and told her everything I should have been telling her. She was my wife. I’m only glad that Ed left at the same time as Cerise died. He hasn’t been heard from since, but that’s a good thing. I don’t know if I could risk seeing him knowing everything.

I don’t think I can stay here. I was brought into the boss’ office this afternoon. They asked me to move to Houston, to head up the department there. They said I needed a change of scenery, and I agree with them. I think I’m going to take it. I think I have to take it. Penny doesn’t know what happened, but we both need a break. She’s grieving for her mother, and I cannot tell her about my own guilty part in this. If I had just listened to Cerise, would she have gone out that day? Would she have drowned in the lake? Or would she have been home with me? We’d fought, bitterly, that morning. I told her to go. I told her I didn’t want to see her again. I didn’t realize I would actually get my wish. I didn’t realize it was the last thing I wanted until I actually had to say goodbye to my wife.

Did she kill herself? Or did someone help her along? I don’t know if it even matters. She’s gone and she’s not coming back. And I don’t know if I can take that knowledge.

I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know who else to tell. I’m sorry, for burdening you once again. I miss her with every breath I take.

John

“
So, what do you think?” she asked.

“
I think your dad just gave you a clue,” Mack replied.

“
What?” Where?

“
Who was Ed Lawler?”

“
He was a camp guide. Mom’s journal talks about him but she only ever called him by his first name.”

“
He disappears at the same time as your mom, and no one thinks that’s suspicious?”

Craig suddenly stood up. “You’re right. Give me a second. I’m going to call Adam.”

Penny scoffed. “You can’t just call the Deputy and expect him to pull up a record of some guy that was here years ago.”

“
No, but I can ask him if this changes anything.”

She wasn’t really sure she wanted Adam to know what happened between her parents, and she definitely didn’t want to make her dad sound like a suspect, but Mack was right. This had to mean something.

Craig headed for the kitchen to talk Deputy Medicine Crow on the phone. She couldn’t hear what he was saying.

Mack rested his hand on her thigh. “You okay?”

She nodded. “I think so.”

They fell into silence. She wasn’t sure what to say to him.

Craig finally came back into the room. “Okay, Adam looked it up for me. The perks of living in a small town. Ed Lawler was arrested eight years ago on charges of abduction and murder. Apparently, his modus operandi was to woo women for months before finally killing them and dumping the bodies. He was sentenced in California and was killed in prison shortly after he started to serve.”

Penny sighed. “Do you think he killed her?”

Craig sat down on the coffee table in front of her. He reached out and clasped his hands on the outside of her legs. “I don’t know. I think we’re all pretty clear it wasn’t your dad. I’m not sure why Ed was never a suspect before, but I’m assuming no one else knew about him and your mom. Adam said there were never any suspects. They all thought she’d killed herself. But, I think the more important question is whether you believe it.”

“
A serial killer? In Bandit Creek? Am I just grasping at straws because I don’t want to believe my dad killed her?”

“
You gotta admit, it makes sense. This is Bandit Creek, after all. We have a wandering bum who spits out brilliant pieces of information when he isn’t dead drunk, a lake that has claimed more souls that I care to remember, and a haunted town buried at the depths of that same lake.” Mack crossed his arms and sat back. “Naturally, that means your mom would have been killed by a regular, garden-variety serial killer.”

She huffed out a laugh. Mack had a point.

“
Look, I better get out of here. You guys don’t need me cluttering up the place. I’ll see you later. I still owe you both a beer.”

Penny stayed in place while Craig walked their friend to the door. She didn’t know what to believe, but the weight that had been around her neck since reading that damned journal was finally gone. She felt lighter, freer. Like she could do anything.

She’d long since grieved for her mom, and while that scar would never fully heal, this was good news. Likewise for her dad. She wasn’t sure she’d ever get over him leaving, but knowing that he still loved her mom and regretted his loss of a second chance...It made her wonder.

She stood up, turning around and looking out the window into the darkness beyond.

She wanted to remember the words her dad had written. He’d lost his chance to have a second chance with her mom and he’d regretted it. Was she going to do the same? It wasn’t anything near the same set of circumstances, but if she walked away and went back to Houston, she’d be giving up her second chance with Craig. She couldn’t--wouldn’t--do that.

Deciding to take matters into her own hands, she walked toward the front hall.

Craig and Mack were still standing at the front door, lost in some quiet conversation. She stopped in place, tilting her head. For the first time that night she really looked at both men. She’d been so caught up in what she’d been dealing with that she was afraid she’d missed something.

They were standing close together, but Mack at least didn’t look happy about it. In fact, he looked upset as he stared at the ground. His shoulders were hunched, and his hands were in the pockets of his jeans. Then he lifted his head and stared at Craig, and Penny had to hold back her gasp. She couldn’t miss the undisguised longing on his face before he turned and opened the door. Craig appeared to reach out, before drawing his hand back. Mack left, and Craig turned to lean his back against the wall.

Penny wasn’t sure what to say. Should she say anything? Wait, what was she thinking? This was Craigory. And Mack. They were her friends. She stepped forward into the hallway.

Craig was in the process of locking the door. He turned around as she came toward him. “You okay?”

“
I think that’s supposed to be my line,” she said.

“
What?”

“
Craig, what’s going on?”

“
With what?”

“
With Mack.”

***

Craig opened his mouth before taking a shuddering breath and shaking his head. “I don’t know.”

That wasn’t what she’d wanted to hear. Was she about to lose her shot with Craig after she’d just decided to go for it? “Do you…? I mean, have you...?”

“
What?”

“
Jesus, Craig. Help me out here. I don’t know what to ask, and I don’t know what to say.”

Craig laughed. It wasn’t a happy sound. “Ditto.”

“
Please be honest with me. We promised that, didn’t we?”

He stepped closer, before sitting down on the bench seat against the wall. Hanging his hands between his thighs he stared at the ground. “When you left, I was distraught.”

“
What, just now?” She shook her head. “Never mind. You mean back in high school. Sorry. I’m tired. Go on.”

He rolled his eyes at her before continuing. “I know I was young, and I get that it wasn’t the end of the world, but it kinda felt like it.”

“
I know.”

“
You were gone. But, Mack wasn’t.”

Ah. The pieces were starting to come together now.

“
I couldn’t say anything to you. I mean, we practically lost touch, and then when we started talking again… I just didn’t know what to say.”

“
Why would you have said anything? It’s not like we really spent a lot of time talking about past relationships.”

“
Then, you’re not...”

One of them was going to have to finish a complete sentence at some point. It was like they were both still tiptoeing around the subject matter. Penny took a deep breath. Time to put it all out on the table.

“
I’m not upset. I’m not disgusted. I’m not whatever you were about to say. Love is beautiful, it doesn’t matter what shape it comes in.”

“
I’m not...I mean, I don’t...”

“
You’re not in love with him?”

Craig sighed. “I don’t know.”

“
Okay. So, where do we go from here?”

“
I want to be with you.”

“
Yeah, me too. But, what about Mack?”